I like him.

 

I do. I really, really like him.

 

No.

 

I love him.

 

I think I do. I really, really do.

 

Because, if I DON'T love him then what am I doing here?

 

Here.

 

Sitting in front of an older woman clad in a long, flowing black robe and a veil covering her head, sitting behind a mahogany desk inside her office with different displays symbolic of God, Jesus Christ, The Almighty One, The Mary, The Holy Spi—

 

Wait. If it's a spirit then it should not be seen or in a display, right? Right?

 

"Miss Park, are you listening?"

 

Mother Teresa— I mean Head Sister Narae asked me, cutting me from my reverie.

 

I think I spaced out too long in front of her.

 

Jesus.

 

Geez.

 

"Yes, Sister Narae." I answered politely with a gracious bow.

 

Yes, gracious. Like, be graceful. All the time.

 

If I want to nail this one in the cross. Pun intended.

 

To get in the one. The one and only institution I've been dying to get myself in aka the monastery.

 

"So?" Sister Narae asked me expectantly...urgently, raising a strict brow.

 

Oh, snap. She was asking me about something. About my favorite verse something.

 

Bible verse.

 

I bowed again as I gave her the most graceful polite smile I could muster as I told her the verse I've been practicing since the stars appeared to guide Joseph and Mary to their destination in giving birth to the savior, Jesus Christ aka Christmas Baby aka Lots of Gifts Day might as well call Him Santa.

 

I mean, since I decided I would be following the love of my life, Lee Donghae — almost Father Lee Donghae in this institution to prevent him from becoming a fully pledged priest.

 

A decision that will definitely be his greatest regret in his life. He should not become one. He must not.

 

Since I am still here. Begging the Lord Jesus Christ to give me one last chance to show almost Father Lee Donghae that I, Sandara Park, exist on this earth so we— Donghae and I can procreate mankind as one of God's commandments.

 

Like Adam and Eve.

 

Make babies.

 

I exist for him and he exists for me.

 

A bane to his existence.

 

Dear Santa Claus — I mean Jesus Christ on his birthday, I only have one wish.  And that is to be with the love of my life. Because hey, I might be naughty sometimes but I am also very, very nice. Please grant me this wish.

 

I even managed to memorize a single bible verse. Huh, take that!

 

I looked at Sister Narae who was looking impatiently at me now. Who could blame her? I can be intense with my internalization regardless if I have a company or not.

 

I coughed as I blurted, "John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

 

Sister Narae didn't look impressed at all. Again, couldn't blame her, I just told her the most generic verses of all verses. She probably heard it a million times in her life, probably 'til her last breath on Earth. Not that I'm thinking about it. Totally not.

 

"And why do you believe that verse will guarantee your success in entering this prestigious Monastery for the Sisterhood, Miss Park?"

 

Sister Narae's voice was condescending, but I remained unfazed by her, as I am here with a mission, full of determination. When it comes to my life, I don't take no for an answer, no rejections.

 

"Because He came to this Earth, saving people from their miserable lives. He was not judgmental, he was the living evidence that we can exist in this world without judgment because his heart is big and has a room full of love."

 

I answered, dramatically. Sincerely, because it's the truth.

 

I'm talking about Donghae, btw.

 

Lee Donghae was born to save me, take me out of my miserable life, and love me without judgment.

 

Yes, I sound lovestruck.

 

Because he's that good for me. Too good.

 

And I won't let him waste his life to commit himself to be a servant of God. No offense, dear God. But I don't want him free from sin, free from me.

 

Because he belongs in this life—with me.

 

Shucks, I sound nuts.

 

Admittedly so, I even follow him in this monastery. In the hope of stopping him from what he thinks is his destiny.

 

I almost sound like a stalker.

 

Disguising myself as a wil