“There’s a word in Korean. In-Yun. It means ‘providence’. Or ‘fate’. But it’s specifically about relationships between people. I think it comes from Buddhism. And reicarnation. It's an In-Yun if two strangers even walk past each other in the street and their clothes accidentally brush, because it means there must have been something between them in their past lives. If two people get married, they say it's because there have been 8,000 layers of In-Yun. Over 8,000 lifetimes.”

- Nora, Past Lives (2023)

 

Playlist: To Love (This is our Fate) - The Playlist

 

Tracklist:

1. City of Stars, Ryan Gosling & Emma Stone (La la Land Soundtrack)

2. Cornelia Street, Taylor Swift

3. To Love, Suki Waterhouse

4. Godspeed, Frank Ocean

5. Quiet Eyes, Sharon Van Etten (Past Lives Soundtrack)

6. My Love Mine All Mine, Mitski

7. Sad Waltz, Karina

8. Mia & Sebastian's theme, Justin Hurwitz (La La Land Soundtrack)

 

—

 

There’s no particular way it happens but Jimin is sixteen when she meets Minjeong, who is fifteen, for the first time. They’re in a dance class and Jimin’s noticed a new face sitting across the room with people bumbling around her, asking for her name, where she came from, and just about every detail you can ask a new person.

 

Jimin thinks she’s beautiful, like a star.

 

Not a literal star, but someone who deserves to be in the limelight. She’s got that kind of aura—the one that captures everyone’s hearts with a single glance.

 

Jimin’s frame seizes when Minjeong’s looking at her from the other side of the room. She smiles and Jimin looks away hastily, her ears burning from being caught. 

 

—

 

“Unnie, you know how to drink, right?” Minjeong asks, sitting beside Jimin on the grass at Han River.

 

It happens and Jimin remembers it as clear as day. From a clumsy introduction to late night dance tutoring, Minjeong's wormed herself into Jimin’s life, even if she rarely sees the girl anymore. Minjeong had become a trainee and Jimin had found out in their second year dancing together. Minjeong had quit dance classes along the way, but she was always around Jimin, either in person or in her mind. 

 

It's New Year's night, and Minjeong’s due to turn nineteen in the next few hours.

 

“You want to drink with me?” Jimin asks.

 

She’s not much of a drinker, but she knows how to hold her liquor. Minjeong nods, her cheeks fluffy as she smiles.

 

“I can’t drink with anyone else,” Minjeong shrugs. “My family is back in Busan and everyone else is too young.”

“Okay.”

 

And then she’s walking into a convenience store nearby, Minjeong trailing behind.

 

“Stay outside; I’ll be quick.” Jimin tells her.

“Why? I’m turning nineteen soon!” Minjeong frowns and Jimin smiles.

"Technically, not yet. So wait.”

 

Jimin returns with a bag of colourful cans and they walk back to their spot on the grass. It’s nearing midnight and they’ve cracked open two cans. Minjeong is nursing it slowly; her cheeks are already rapidly turning red.

 

“Unnie, this is sweet.” Minjeong beams at the peach flavoured alcohol.

“It’s your first time.” Jimin shrugs. “I’m not going to make you drink hard liquor.”

“Unnie, I think you’re sweeter.” Minjeong grins, leaning against Jimin’s shoulder.

 

Jimin blushes and shoves Minjeong away lightly.

 

“You should stop. I don’t want to have to drag you back to your dorm.” Jimin covers the top of Minjeong’s can with her hand and pulls it away.

 

Minjeong pouts; her fluffy cheeks are entirely blazing red.

 

“But it’s nice!” Minjeong whines.

“I can already tell you’re a lightweight.” Jimin smiles softly.

 

The new year's fireworks go off and Jimin’s lying on her back, her bicep under Minjeong’s head, who’s lying beside her.

 

“Happy birthday, Minjeong.” Jimin looks up at the sky.

 

Minjeong comes closer, her eyes round and childlike.

 

“Unnie, will you miss me?” 

 

Jimin doesn’t respond; a familiar and recurring ache in her chest returns.

 

“Will you miss me when I debut?” 

“You know I will.” Jimin says.
“But I want you to say it.” Minjeong pokes her and Jimin stills. “Please? For me? This might be the last time I get to see you properly.”

 

“I’ll miss you.” I miss you.

 

—

 

Jimin doesn’t hear from Minjeong for the rest of her adult years. She’s a college student now and she doesn’t have time to think about a fleeting experience in her teenage years. Although Minjeong always remains in her mind—like she always has.

 

Minjeong had debuted in a group, aespa, as Winter. Along with her groupmates Giselle and Ningning. They’ve been in reign for a couple of years, having the world at her feet as they sweep awards and hearts of everyone.

 

It’s hard not to think about Minjeong, not when Winter’s face is plastered all over billboards, advertisements, and posters in Korea. Jimin falls victim, but she doesn’t feel like she’s in danger. She’s been rooting for Minjeong silently since the beginning and she will always do so.

 

—

 

The rise and fall of a blinding star, Winter retires after some time and no one really knows why. There’s her last stage at K-con where she collapsed and had to be brought out on a stretcher. Days later, an official announcement of her pulling out and that aespa would remain a duo was released to the world.

 

—

 

Jimin’s moving out of her home to be closer to her university. She feels bad leaving her family behind but she can’t stand commuting an hour every day to study. She finds a small studio apartment close by her university and it is being shared with two other people. She brings up her luggage and a bright girl opens the door for her. She has two roommates, Yeri, who opened the door for her and Ryujin, who is pretty laid back and tends to her own things.

 

Their apartment complex is connected to the one next door, with a foyer in between them. Jimin grows curious and she asks her housemates and they tell her that there’s meant to be a girl who lives there. She’s been living there longer than them, and she’s a homebody.

 

Jimin doesn’t try to seek her out.

 

It happens only coincidentally.

 

She’s running late for class with a scarf tightly wound around her neck.

 

There’s an unfamiliar face. A girl wearing shorts in this kind of weather and an oversized hoodie. Half of her hoodie is up and she’s smoking. A part of her face remains visible and Jimin shakes off the thought that she resembles someone she knew.

 

—

 

It’s another time and Jimin isn’t running late for class, but she’s taking her clothes up to hang. She’s walking up to the roof when she halts. The neighbour is there, leaning against the brick railing, a cigarette in her hand.

 

Jimin blinks.

 

It’s her—it’s Winter.

 

Jimin swallows, thinking about backing out, when she catches sight of her.

 

“Did you just move in?” She asks and Jimin has to make herself known. She curses herself quietly before walking up the stairs with her basket of wet clothes.

“I–I did.” Jimin nods.

 

She quietly moves over to hang her clothes. It’s hard to act normal when a pair of eyes are glued to her.

 

“I’m Minjeong.” Minjeong speaks, putting out her cigarette. Jimin swallows thickly at the voice. “What’s your name?”

 

There’s a beat and it's childish, like Jimin’s always been; she wants to cry at Minjeong’s voice. She’s not Winter anymore; she’s just Minjeong. The sound of it makes her want to break down. 

 

That fickle promise of promising to stay in contact haunts Jimin most nights because she should've said something about her feelings—just anything to get it out of the way, but she couldn’t. Not when Minjeong was on the road to becoming a star.

 

Jimin’s hung up the last of her clothes.

 

A beat passes.

 

She turns around to face Minjeong.

 

“Do you not recognise me?”

 

Minjeong blinks, finally getting a good look at her neighbour. She gasps quietly, her eyes widening.

 

Jimin doesn’t think she looks that different from back then, although her hair is shorter and she’s adopted thick rimmed glasses.

 

Minjeong, however, she’s grown so beautifully.

 

“Unnie.” Jimin almost breaks then and there.

 

She nods softly.

 

“You’re—how—”

 

Neither know how to start but Jimin smiles at Minjeong’s bumbling about.

 

“It’s nice to see you again.” Jimin cuts her off. “Let’s catch up sometime.”

 

And she makes an escape. She’s down the stairs and nearing the door when she hears Minjeong’s slippers dragging against the floor as she tries to catch up.

 

“Unnie!” 

 

Jimin stops at the door, a frantic grasp on her arm. She turns around and sees Minjeong panting, her cheeks kissed pink and her eyes glistening.

 

“A—are you busy? Let’s have a meal!” Minjeong grins and Jimin’s reminded of the past. She smiles softly, prying Minjeong’s hands off of her.

“Maybe next time. I have to start work soon.”

 

There’s a lot of next times between them and Jimin can’t stand to see Minjeong like this. She’s been on stage for so long, and now seeing her right next door as just Minjeong—it doesn’t feel real.

 

—

 

Minjeong grows a habit. She waits for Jimin in the foyer in the mornings; in the afternoons, she returns from class; and in the evenings, she finishes work. She pesters Jimin until the end but the older girl won't move. It makes her feel slightly awkward but it makes her laugh when Jimin flounders and turns away.

 

Jimin’s been trying to get hired as a tutor, pasting posters with her number on bus stops, walls, and mostly all over campus. She had been fired from her previous tutoring job after her friend who got her the job received a phone call from the mother asking if Jimin smoked. Of course, Jimin doesn’t smoke but she’s reminded of the popstar next door, who has a bad habit of smoking.

 

That’s the second thing that ticks Jimin off.

 

The third ends it all.

 

Jimin receives a phone call as she waits for the bus and picks it up. She brightens up—thinking it’s a phone call from someone who needs tutoring—but when she hears the familiar tone and snicker from the other end, she burns with slight anger. She turns to the side to see Minjeong in a jacket and cap, doubling over in laughter.

 

“Are you mad?”

 

Minjeong trails behind Jimin as they walk home and Jimin doesn’t react, silently holding herself together.

 

“No.”

 

“You are, I can tell.” Minjeong grins, skipping behind Jimin.

 

“Why aren’t you angry? I want to see you get mad.” Minjeong giggles softly, unfamiliar with this Jimin. “Didn’t you post these to everyone so that people would call you?”

 

Jimin huffs, turning around, and Minjeong halts.

 

“Are you this bored?” Jimin asks, her tone void of any joy. “Is this your idea of fun? You think you can do whatever you want because you’re not an idol anymore and you’re still rolling in time and money? Not everyone can live like you. I desperately need a job, and I also need to study! I have a lot on my plate right now; I don’t need you on top of that. So stop. Stop following me around and teasing me.” 

 

Minjeong’s smile falls into a cold expression and Jimin breathes heavily, her eyes bulging out of her head from frustration.

 

“I get that we were friends before and that I knew you, but it’s been years, and we’re not who we used to be anymore. I’ve grown up, Minjeong. You should too.” 

 

Jimin turns around, not sparing Minjeong a last glance as she disappears into her home.

 

—

 

Jimin doesn’t see Minjeong for a couple of days. She admits it was wrong for her to blow up on Minjeong like that, but it was the truth and everything was going wrong for Jimin those few weeks.

 

She doesn’t see Minjeong waiting for her anymore and a part of her misses the younger girl even more than she ever had.

 

She tapes a note to Minjeong’s door in the foyer.

 

She has a lecture that afternoon and she’s busy copying notes and listening to the professor—not paying attention to her surroundings at all. The lecture hall door opens and a nosy pair of heeled boots walk up the stairs to Jimin’s empty seat beside her. Everyone takes notice of the pretty newcomer in a cap and whispers amongst each other but Jimin doesn’t notice.

 

Jimin turns to her side and takes a look before going back to her notes.

 

She pauses before turning to her side again.

 

Her eyes widen when she sees that it’s Minjeong. 

 

A croak comes out of Jimin’s throat as she looks around and finds people staring at her.

 

Minjeong takes off her cap and smiles, tilting her head as she looks at Jimin.

 

“Let’s go eat.” Minjeong says quietly.

“N–Now?” Jimin blinks.

“You wrote whenever I wanted.” Minjeong points this out. “I want to now.”

 

Jimin flounders awkwardly, noticing the stares of everyone around them. 

 

“For now,” Jimin picks up Minjeong’s cap and puts it on the younger girl, engulfing her head and face entirely. “I think we need to wait until class is over.”

 

Minjeong leans down on the table, resting her head on her forearms as she looks at Jimin from the side.

 

“What should we eat?” Minjeong asks softly.

 

Jimin doesn’t respond, stiffening and glancing at Minjeong from her peripheral vision. Minjeong snickers at her reaction, laughing into her elbow silently. 

 

They end up at the school’s field later, sitting on the bleachers as they eat ice cream.

 

“Don’t you mind being recognised?” Jimin asks.

“No, when I’m dressed like this. Not many people recognise me anyway.” Minjeong hums.

“I recognised you when we met," Jimin says.

“But you already knew me from before.” Minjeong giggles and Jimin smiles softly. 

“You’re right about that.”

 

—

 

Minjeong has fears.

 

It follows being an ex-idol, but every waking moment feels as if someone’s watching her. Even more now, like a trauma—she hears a camera click and her breathing grows manual. 

 

She halts when she's taking off her jumper, hands on her inner shirt when she hears a noise. She turns around to her open window. She opens it and looks out, seeing nothing suspicious. She closes it and locks it, pulling her curtains close. 

 

She roams around the apartment building, closing every door and window she can find. 

 

After finding an expensive necklace on her coffee table in her room, she’s grown more anxious. It’s the handwriting of her manager and she hears the note in his voice.

 

I’ll be in touch.

 

Minjeong shuts her eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. She opens her eyes and they fall onto the fire alarm on the wall. She drags a chair up to it and inspects it, clawing around it desperately. 

 

She finds a screwdriver hastily and pries at the fire alarm until the wires are exposed. She does the same to the intercom and power points, but she finds nothing and returns to her room.

 

She’s washing her face in her sink; her breathing is laboured. She dries her face and hands and when she prepares to exit, her doorknob stills and only rattles. She turns harshly on the door, pulling at it violently and it doesn’t open. Her breathing becomes heavy as she cries, kicking at the door weakly.

 

She grabs a heavy object and tries breaking down the doorknob but she doesn’t have enough strength in her. She throws it back at the window out of frustration and the mirror shatters.

 

Jimin returns from work at the café and she finds it odd that most of the building’s windows are closed and all the curtains are drawn. She walks around the connected building and finds it silent. She peers through the glass window of the door leading to Minjeong’s and sees nothing.

 

“Minjeong, where are you?” Jimin calls out.

 

Minjeong raises her head weakly from her crouching position on the cold bathroom floor.

 

“Are you sleeping?”

 

Minjeong reaches towards the door and knocks on it repeatedly to alert Jimin.

 

“Minjeong?”
 

Jimin hears the repetitive knocking and appaorches the sound. She jogs forward hurriedly, dropping her bag carelessly on the ground.

 

“Minjeong!” She calls out again and the noise grows louder. She turns and finds the door of the women’s bathroom closed.

 

“”Minjeong? I—Is that you in there?” Jimin asks.

 

Minjeong brushes her hair out of her tearstained face and in a breath.

 

“I’m trapped.” She responds.

 

Jimin tries to unlock the doorknob, rattling it. 

 

“Can you open it for me?” Minjeong asks.

 

“Hang it there; g–give me a sec!”

 

Jimin retrieves a hammer and knocks it down against the doorknob repeatedly before it eventually pops off. She pries it open and pushes the door open. 

 

Minjeong rushes out, crashing against Jimin. She wraps her arms around Jimin and buries herself against Jimin’s neck, inhaling her familiar scent as she tries to steady her unstable breathing.

 

Jimin stumbles back a few steps before she registers Minjeong holding her desperately, arms crossed around her waist, almost suffocating her.

 

Jimin fixes the door with her toolbox beside her as she screws in the new doorknob. She turns and looks up at Minjeong, who’s sitting in a fetal position on a bench. Minjeong’s gaze is absent and Jimin blinks up at her.

 

“What are you thinking about?” 

 

Minjeong turns to her.

 

“You look good like that.” Minjeong responds and Jimin blinks.

“Like what?” 

“Fixing bathroom doors is hot.” 

“Jeez… you’re unbelievable.” Jimin shakes her head and Minjeong smiles softly.

“I’m being serious.”

 

—

 

It’s seamless how they return to the pair of close friends they were in their teenage years. Minjeong’s leaning against Jimin’s side on the floor of Jimin’s room as they watch a film on the TV. Minjeong’s snacking on strawberries after Jimin asked her what kind of snacks she would want when watching the movie and she had expected the girl to say popcorn, but she insisted on strawberries.

 

“Do you think we have that too?” Minjeong asks and Jimin turns to her.

 

Her eyes are glued to the screen as the two film leads have a heartfelt conversation.

 

“In-Yun?” Jimin asks and Minjeong nods.

“Maybe.” Jimin shrugs. “I don’t believe in those things a lot.”

“I do.” 

 

Minjeong faces Jimin.

“I think it’s fate that after meeting you in that dance class when I was fifteen, I’m able to meet with you here again after all these years.” Minjeong says softly. “I think we were something good to each other in our past lives.”

 

Jimin blinks, her heart ramming out of her chest—rendered speechless.

 

“I came to look for you one time.” Minjeong turns away, facing the screen, as the characters begin to part ways. 

“When?”

“In my third year.” Minjeong tells her. “It was when we were allowed to go back home and get back into contact with people.”

“It was late and you were working at a restaurant. I saw you outside the window. I walked in and sat at a table until closing hours just to watch you.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?” 

“You were working and… we were in different worlds by then… I didn’t think you needed to see me.”

 

There are tears streaming down Minjeong’s cheeks.

 

“I promised to get back to you—to tell you if I was okay, but I didn't... I used to drink that peach soju you bought me on the night of New Year's and pretend you were there with me like the first time. I used to wonder what would happen if I never debuted and stayed where I was with you. I could’ve done every one of my first times with you and stayed happy and not gotten to this point.”

 

Jimin reaches over, wiping Minjeong’s tears away.

 

“What if... what if we’ve already done our firsts with each other in a past life?” Jimin says and Minjeong turns to her, a childish pout on her lips. 

 

“You said you didn’t believe in that stuff.”

“I believe in you.”

 

Minjeong swallows a fresh set of new tears and Jimin wipes them away gingerly.

“I’m sorry… I should’ve come to you too.” Jimin says softly. 

 

The credits roll in and Minjeong’s leaning in, pressing a gentle kiss to Jimin’s forever waiting lips.

 

Jimin thinks Minjeong tastes sweet.

 

 

—

 

Jimin’s part-timing at the carnival nearby as she’s sweeping the grounds and Minjeong’s sitting at one of the rides, leaning over the railing as she watches Jimin work, wearing her usual cap getup.

 

“When do you have lunch?” Minjeong asks.

“I don’t think I’ll have time for a break,” Jimin answers.

“Really? That’s a bummer.”

“Sorry.” Jimin smiles softly.

“Why are you sorry all the time?” Minjeong smiles.

 

“Anyway, don’t worry about me. I’ll entertain myself!”

 

It’s late when Jimin gets off work and she’s walking slowly, bag over her shoulder, when she spots someone crouching on the ground near the exit.

 

Jimin grins.

 

“Oh, you’re done!” Minjeong beams, getting up and running towards Jimin.

 

They have a latenight meal at a nearby joint and Minjeong watches fondly as Jimin eats heartily at the black bean noodles.

 

“You’re really enjoying that, aren’t you?” Minjeong chuckles.

“I haven't been able to eat all day.” Jimin takes another mouthful.

 

They eat and then the server brings out two fortune cookies for them.

 

“Let’s hope we have luck on our side,” Minjeong says, handing a cookie over to Jimin.

 

They both crack it open.

 

“Wait, aren’t these supposed to have only positive things on them?” Jimin frowns at her fortune.

“What does it say?”

 

“You will face your enemy at the worst moment. You’ll be as helpless as a mouse before a cat.”

 

Minjeong giggles, “Are you the mouse?”

 

“Prepare for the unexpected. Or the consequences could be dire.” Jimin finishes reading.

 

“I’ve been trying to lighten your mood, but it’s been an utter failure.” Minjeong pouts childishly.

Jimin chuckles. “It’s alright. It doesn’t bother me since I’m not the type to make enemies. You know me.”

“That’s true.” Minjeong nods.

“And I’m in a good