Irene looks up to stare at the dark sky above her. The air is chilly tonight, forcing her to bundle up in her winter jacket when she is just going to buy a highlighter at the store. Her eyes spot several specks of white falling down from the sea of black, with one of them managing to land on her reddened cheek to tell Irene what it is.

It’s the first snow of the winter. She knew it was bound to happen but Irene didn’t expect for the snow to fall tonight. The first snow who tends to act as a sign to be such a wonderful time to love.

For the first time, the first snow .

She lives like a total loser these past few days, when the upcoming finals looming above her head are like a threat for Irene to do better and start acting like a real college student. She can only snuggle inside her blanket and do nothing, only functioning when there is a class she needs to attend that day. 

Never in her whole life Irene expected for a heartbreak to be this painful.

Her mind can only think about what went wrong in their relationship—if Irene can call the brief time they spent together ing like a wild animal as a relationship. Is it because of their ? Is she not good enough for Wendy? Does she not deserve to stand beside her because Irene doesn’t come from a rich family like Wendy?

Even Joy took pity on her condition, when her roommate barely gives a to everything she did as long as it doesn’t disturb her. She forced Irene to stop acting like a zombie and start to get her life together.

“There’s a lot of fish in the sea, Irene,” reminded Joy after she hit her head hard enough with a pillow to make her sit on her bed, along with a grunt and curse that easily left . “Someone out there will appreciate you better than Wendy.”

But Irene wants Wendy, not someone else.

“Welcome to Trebuchet Store!” greeted the cashier when Irene entered the store to find the highlighter she needed for studying purposes. Irene always hated the name of the store because it sounds lame, like there is no other name out there for them to use as a name for the store. Just like that damned fast food chain that shares the same name as Wendy.

Until today, she still can’t bring herself to enter the restaurant without breaking down and embarrassing her friends in the process.

Irene massaged her forehead as her brain got filled with everything about Wendy once again. Her mind keeps recalling that moment when Wendy said she doesn't think she can continue this—whatever it is going on between the two of them. Somehow she makes it sound like it was Irene’s fault, when the one who proposed the idea to try was Wendy.

“ that ,” hissed Irene in annoyance as she harshly took the pink coloured and blue coloured highlighter in front of her, surprising the student beside her but she don’t give a about their existence. Something she wished she could do to Wendy. “How the it was my fault when she asked for it?”

Joy’s method in helping her to move on was such a relief for Irene to strip the mountain of stress away from her nerves. With the help of Yeri and Seulgi, they gave her a doll with a photo of Wendy’s face plastered on the head. Joy told her to treat the doll as her punching bag, and Irene listened as she abused the poor doll. Yeri was cheering for her at the back, and Seulgi was concerned if it’s a really good way to help Irene to move on because they just bought the doll today using her money. And Seulgi thought it wasn’t a good idea to break it apart on the first day.

“It will be twelve hundred won,” said the cashier when Irene gave her the two highlighters she just took, somehow her words sounded faint in her ears. 

All she can hear is the voice of Wendy saying she can’t continue this, and the loud sound of Irene slapping her cheek afterwards before she leaves her alone in her penthouse. She tried to forget the night when she walked back to her dorm with tears streaming down from her eyes like a waterfall. Irene felt like that night, wondering if it’s wrong of her to expect more from Wendy when she should have known since the beginning.

That Wendy will never choose someone like her.

The cold air greeted her as she left the store to go back to her dorm. Irene tightened her winter jacket, making a mental note inside her mind to buy a thicker jacket to help her go through this winter after she is done with her finals. She was supposed to walk instead of staying rooted before the stairs down to the pavement.

But when there’s Wendy in the flesh, standing in front of her and leaning back against her car while waiting for her, Irene finds it hard for her body to function.

Her eyes are filled with disbelief as she stares at Wendy like she just grew another head out from her neck. Irene blinked her eyes, wanting to know if her mind was playing with her because the night is super ing cold right now. But no matter how much she blinked her eyes, Wendy was still there, standing before her with an expression Irene couldn't read.

There’s a lot of questions swimming inside her brain just because she met Wendy again after that dreaded night. All of them beg to come out, but there’s only one that manages to escape from . “How?”

How do you know I was here?

“I-I visited your dorm first,” answered Wendy in a slight stutter, Irene feels like she heard it wrong. There is no way someone like Wendy stutters in front of her. “I want to test my luck and see if I can meet you if you ever come downstairs. But your friend told me that you were here and said that it’s better for me to wait for you here.”

Joy and her freaking inability to keep secrets.

Irene pinched the bridge of her nose, she can feel a headache starting to build up inside her brain. Her finals start the day after tomorrow, and she doesn’t need any of this bull right now. “What do you want, Wendy?”

“We need to talk, Irene,” replied Wendy before she begged, something Irene didn’t expect for her to do. “Please.”

“You wanted to talk with me, but you don’t even bother to tell me that you are here and instead, just planning to wait for me to come down like a stupid fool? You are so ing unbelievable, Wendy. Do you know that?” scoffed Irene in disbelief, and somehow Wendy had the audacity to look like her words just hurt her. “And that night wasn’t enough for you? That night when you humiliated me—when you rejected me and made it my fault when it was you who asked for it.”

“I don’t know if you want to talk with me, let alone meet me,” reasoned Wendy before she begged Irene for the second time as her legs brought her closer to the older woman. “Please, Irene, listen to me just this once.”

“I’ve had enough of listening to you, Wendy. If anything, that night taught me a lot to never listen to you anymore,” hissed Irene with venom dripping from her voice. She walked past her, acting like Wendy didn’t exist as she did so. “Now off and go back to your rich sanctuary. Leave me alone and never see me again.”

She tried to act like she was okay when she said all those hurtful words towards Wendy, when it pains her like hell to see her like this as she can hear her heart crack. Irene needs to be strong, she needs to stand up for herself. She had enough of being stomped on, of being a woman who can’t do anything to the person she has feelings to. She needs to look like she’s strong in front of her, when she knows her tears will flow out of her eyes as soon as she arrives at her bed.

“What the hell did you do to me, Irene?”

Her legs stopped walking when she heard Wendy ask that. The pain she felt in her heart got erased and changed with fury, as Wendy makes it sounds like she is still blaming her for what happened between the two of them. “Excuse me?”

“I knew ever since I saw your profile for the first time, that you lied to me about your age. I knew ever since we met each other for the first time, I was breaching a very dangerous territory when I talked with you. I knew that I shouldn’t have accepted your university’s invitation to be the main speaker for their seminar,” Wendy started to rant everything she had never told Irene before. There are some people around them, but none of them give a to their existence. Irene can only see Wendy, however painful it was. “Ever since I met you, my life has become a ing mess, Irene. I was completely content with the way I live—being busy with my work. Living like I don’t know how to have fun.”

“And it was my fault that your life became a ing mess?” asked Irene in disbelief as she tried her best to not cry in front of Wendy. “Everything was my fault?”

“Yes, everything was your fault,” answered Wendy with such toughness in her voice, it feels like a blunt sword currently trying to pierce into her heart and make Irene bleed to death. It pained her so much to learn that, after all this time, Wendy blamed this on her. “From our first text to our last , everything was your fault.”

It feels like Wendy just delivered a hard slap on her cheek when she said that. Irene can only stare at her in disbelief and broken heart, she doesn’t even realize a tear has already escaped from the corner of her eyes. She wants to say something to defend herself, she wants to curse Wendy in front of her face. 

But before she can do that, Wendy beats her into it, and further makes her spiral with her own feelings.

“That’s what I tried to believe. That’s what I tried to convince myself so I can stop this—so I can stop pursuing you. But I can’t, Irene,” admitted Wendy in such a broken voice, she almost did not catch her words in the middle of this cold weather. But her last sentence is enough to pull the dull blade away from her heart. “I still can’t stop thinking about you, and this feeling kills me.”

Irene blinks her eyes in silence. Wendy who was being a total jerk earlier, turns into such a fragile woman with an open-book expression Irene can easily read now. “What?”

“I searched for you when I woke up every morning, touching the empty side of my bed and it pains me when the sheet feels cold. I hugged your pillow in my sleep, clinging on to your last scent that has started to fade. I saw you in every part of my house—in the kitchen, in the living room, in my bed. Every day and night, I keep hearing your voice and laugh,” confessed Wendy with a cracked voice, like she was about to break apart in front of Irene. “Every day and night, I keep trying to get you out of my mind and whatever I do, I just can’t ing stop thinking about you, Irene.”

Her eyes widened in a mix of shock and surprise upon hearing those sentences. All this time, Irene thought it was only her who was suffering. All this time, she thought it was only her who had heart broken into tiny pieces.

It never crossed her mind that Wendy will be suffering like her too.

“I was never this stressed out. I keep drinking at night, just so I can get through this pain. Did you know I got a warning from the board of directors because I kept ignoring my job for months?” chuckled Wendy hollowly, but her eyes screamed for her. “I neglected my responsibility because I can’t stop thinking about this woman who came into my life and annoyed the out of me, yet here I am. Standing in front of her like a freaking loser because I am lost without you, Irene.”

She can’t say anything. She can’t even feel the hot stream of her tears on her cheek, falling down along with the never-ending snow. 

This is not the Wendy she knows. Wendy is supposed to be composed, supposed to be stoic—knowing what she wants to do with her life. Wendy is supposed to be a person every woman in the whole country looks up to, a strong woman who deserves to be one of the most important people in the whole world. 

Wendy is not supposed to be someone who has her emotions on her sleeve. Wendy is not supposed to be a mess over a broken heart. And Irene is the cause of this Wendy who is currently standing before her, looking so unfamiliar yet her heart yearns for her. 

This is a record in itself, and deserves a spot in the achievement list of her curriculum vitae.

“I’m sorry for everything, Irene, for every pain I gave you. I’m so sorry for breaking your heart,” whispered Wendy softly, like she only wants Irene to listen to every word she says this time. “I’m so stupid for letting you go, and I’m sorry that it took me this long to say this. Whatever your answer is, I will accept it.”

The older woman paused to take a deep breath. Irene can see her hands shaking, but she doesn’t know if it’s because of the cold or if it’s because of something else. Judging from her outfit that looks like Wendy was barely giving a second thought to do this, she will assume it’s because of the cold weather. Especially when she noticed how soaked her hoodie is because of the snow.

“I like you, Irene. Scratch that, I’m in love with you,” confessed Wendy, something Irene didn’t expect to hear tonight. “I’m falling so deep and I don’t think I want to escape from this feeling. I—, Irene, you drive me so ing crazy. I miss you so bad. I love you so much it pains me to be away from you.”

Irene looks at her as she tries to process every sentence Wendy just says. The confession, the truth—the fact that it’s not only her who is suffering. She harshly wipes her tears and clears , saying something that she did not expect to come out from .

“Really? You came all the way here just to tell me this? Nothing else?”

A streak of pain flashed in Wendy’s eyes. She looks so defeated, so lost. If Wendy is a puppy, she will have both of her ears down because of how she looked like she just got kicked.

“I have finals in two days, Wendy. This is supposed to be a quiet week for all of us so we can focus on our exam,” snapped Irene, taking a few steps closer to the older woman who stayed rooted on her spot. “I tried to distract myself by studying. Do you know how hard it is to do that? When the only thing you have in your head is this woman who doesn’t even know what she wants and decided to dump me because she thought I was too young?”

She pushes her shoulder with all of the strength she has inside, forcing Wendy to take a few steps back but nothing more than that.

“I’m trying my best to move on. I’m trying my best to ing forget you and everything you did to me,” Irene bites hard on her teeth, when she notice her eyes starting to become blurry again. “And you tell me that you come here only to say that you miss me, and you fall in love with me? Nothing more than that?”

Irene formed her hand into a fist, landing a punch on Wendy who looks like she doesn’t have the energy to even make her stop as she lands another.

“I hate you,” gritted Irene with lots of pain in her voice, making sure that Wendy is looking her right in the eyes. She lands a punch on her body for every word she says to her. To tell Wendy how hurt it is to have feelings for her. “I hate you so ing much, Wendy.”

“Irene, I’m so-”

Her words get cut when Irene pulls her into her arms and hugs her tight. She cries on her shoulder as the familiar scent of Wendy starts to fill her senses. The nerves inside her body are full of Wendy, and God knows how much Irene has asked for this to happen. 

“I miss you too, Wendy,” sobbed Irene right on her shoulder. “So ing much.”

Wendy was still for a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around her body and reciprocated her embrace with the same tightness. None of them exchanged words as they preferred to bask in each other’s warmth. She can feel Wendy’s hot breath against her temple, against her earlobe, against her neck. She can feel her lips brushing against her cheek, being so careful with her because Wendy is afraid of making another mistake.

She is the one who breaks their hug, and just lets Wendy have her arms tightly wrapped around her waist. Irene chuckled when she noticed how worse her appearance was from up close. She gently rests her palm on her cheek, and she doesn’t need to wait long for Wendy to lean into her touch. Her thumb brushes against her cheekbone that appears so obvious. It broke her heart to learn how much this affected Wendy. “You are thinner compared to the last time I saw you. Do you even sleep well?”

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t go to the kitchen because all I see is you. I keep dreaming about you in my sleep,” whispered Wendy, sounding so broken in her ears. “I can’t function without you.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” replied Irene gently, with a soft smile on her face. Wendy looks so defeated right now, so broken and Irene wants to be the person who mends her heart. “Especially coming from someone who always makes sure that I eat first before we do on your bed back then.”

The woman in front of her closed her eyes. “I’m so pathetic right now, am I?”

“You are,” admitted Irene, along with a smile that feels like it’s going to stay permanently on her face from tonight. She gently brushes her bangs that were covering her face, having a clear sight of her desperate eyes. Her hand is back on her cheek, and Irene does not want to waste anymore time. “What do you want, Wendy? Surely you can’t just come here to confess your feelings. I need you to be the one who said it this time.”

Wendy looks at her deeply, like she was searching for something inside her eyes. She connected their foreheads afterwards, having the tip of their nose brushes against each other.

“I love you, Irene Bae. I love you so much to the point it pains me to not have you by my side. My heart yearns for you, and all I want is to love you and have you in my arms,” started Wendy with so much affection in her voice, Irene can feel herself melt in her embrace. “I know I’m stupid, I know I hurt you, I know I don’t deserve you. But please let me say this because I will punish myself if I’m not.” Wendy takes a deep breath. “Irene Bae, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes,” it doesn’t need a second for Irene to reply. “Don’t you dare to say that you don’t deserve me ever again. But yes, Wendy, I will be your girlfriend.”

She softly chuckles from her threat and her answer. Wendy looked into her eyes again as her hand rested upon Irene’s cheek, gently brushing her soft skin like she was still being super careful in everything she did to her. Like she doesn’t want to hurt her anymore. “Can I kiss you?”

Irene is the one who chuckles this time. “You don’t need to ask, baby.”

Her smile widened before Wendy leaned forward to kiss her lips softly, and everything became better once again. Her lips still tasted the same, something Irene painfully missed during the time they were away from each other. They are still as soft as usual, perfectly fitting against her. The kiss is everything but lust, something they shared for the first time. It’s all about love, about their unsaid feelings for each other.

Both of them gently broke their kiss once it was time for them to separate from each other. Their forehead is still connected, and Irene can’t help but to giggle whenever the tip of their nose brushes against each other.

“It’s the first snow tonight,” whispered Irene, as Wendy raised her eyebrow because she was wondering why she suddenly brings up this topic. “Do you know that if you get snowed on by the first snow with someone you love, that love will last forever?”

“Is it?” asked Wendy as she gently tucked a strand of her long hair behind her left ear, and gave her forehead a long kiss. “I guess we are bound to always be together.”

A giggle left before Irene pressed another kiss on her lips. Now that everything is clear, there is nothing to hold her back from showing her affection to Wendy. And it looks like the older woman will also do the same thing.

“Stay with me tonight?” asked Wendy softly, there was hope in her eyes.

“I can’t,” rejected Irene with a sad smile, along with a pang in her heart when she spotted a disappointment in Wendy’s eyes. “I have finals in two days, remember?”

Wendy blinked her eyes before she turned into a mess. She rushed to take a look at her wristwatch. “Oh, right. It’s already late, I think it’s better if you go back to your dorm right now. Do you want me to drive you there? Can I drive you back to your dorm?”

She can’t help but to kiss her lips when Wendy starts rambling. “It’s only a five minute walk to my dorm, Wendy. I think it will be best if you go home right now.”

The older woman in front of her nods. Wendy reaches for her hand, and slowly tangles their fingers together. Her palm feels cold, something that Irene is sure she shares too. Wendy brought their hands close to , grasping her with both of her palm this time before blowing her hot breath to warm her skin. Her lips are on her hand right now, kissing her knuckles softly. And Irene can only stand there with her heart about to jump out from her ribcage. “Can I text you?”

Irene stupidly nods, still being affected by the things Wendy did to her earlier. “Text me when you arrive, and whenever you want to text me.”

Her girlfriend nods this time. She let Wendy pull her towards her fancy car that looked so out of place in the middle of the university complex. “Well, I shall go back now. I don’t want to keep you longer when you can study and rest instead.”

“But I like it better to spend time with you, though?” replied Irene as she raised her eyebrow in a challenge to know what her response will be.

And Wendy did not disappoint as she looked at her with that signature deadpan. That’s the Wendy she knows. “Do not test me, Irene.”

A laugh escaped from because of the warning. She wrapped her arms around her neck, and Wendy automatically pulled her closer by the waist. Their lips meet in the middle, and Irene is in control of the kiss this time. This one lasted longer than the first one, and Irene can’t help but to flash her satisfied smile to Wendy. “Next time you are going to meet me here, wear a proper outfit. It’s already winter, and I don’t want us to start again with me taking care of your sick instead of us ing and using up all of your condoms. Oh, wait. Maybe we can do it bare this time.”

“No raw-dogging, Irene. Never. And I spend half of my life in North America. I know how to protect myself from cold weather,” replied Wendy with a roll of her eyes before she entered her car and opened her window. “The pavement might be slippery because of the snow, so walk carefully.”

She nodded as Irene leaned forward to give her lips a peck. “Be careful on your way too.”

Wendy stayed silent as she looked like she was thinking about something. “See you after your finals?”

“Of course,” nodded Irene before a smirk grew on her face, which only became wider because Wendy raised her eyebrow from the suspicious expression. “Don’t miss me too much when I’m away, babe.”

The older woman snorted. “Don’t ask for my rated pictures when you are stressed out with your study, sugar.”

Irene bursted out into a laugh from her response, kissing her lips once again before she let Wendy drive away to go back to her penthouse. She watched until the sedan disappeared from her view before she turned around to walk back to her dorm, making a mental note inside her head to thank Joy and also hit the back of her head because she revealed her location to Wendy without even asking her first.

Fifteen minutes later, a text arrived with a sound of notification Irene has been dying to hear for months. She quickly took her phone and ignored the thick book she was studying over, smiling to herself as she read her text.

daddy 🥰:

I’ve arrived safely.

Don’t stay up too late and have enough sleep.

Irene Bae:

thank you for the inspiring message, dad

daddy 🥰:

…

You are still using that as my contact name, huh?

Irene Bae:

ofc, daddy

i’m your beloved sugar baby, no?

daddy 🥰:

Whatever, I’m going to sleep.

Good night.

Irene replies to her with a voice note. “Good night, daddy. Sleep tight,” she said with the most sensual sound she can muster, ignoring the gag full of disgust coming from Joy. She noticed that Wendy has listened to her voice note, but she doesn't reply to her message at all.

Irene Bae:

really, babe?

to my voice before you sleep?

daddy 🥰:

I’m not easily like someone.

Good night and sleep tight.

She let out a loud laugh from her response, something she expected to come from Wendy. Irene decided to listen to her girlfriend as she closed her book and jumped towards her bed, tucking herself comfortably inside her blanket as she got ready to sleep. “Joy?”

“I’m straight, Irene. And I hate cheaters.” Irene throws one of her small dolls towards Joy who was turning her back on her, a reply her roommate deserves from saying that. She smiled in satisfaction when her plushie landed perfectly on top of her head and heard her painful yelp from Joy. “What?”

“Thank you,” answered Irene. “For tonight.”

“Whatever,” snorted Joy. Irene was about to throw another toy when her roommate stopped her. “You’re welcome, Goddamnit. Just go to sleep.”

A grin formed on her face before she closed her eyes, enjoying the happiest dream as she had the best sleep ever for tonight.

---

To wake up without feeling gloomy must be the best thing ever.

Irene squirmed as she stretched her body on her bed before she opened her eyes, noticing that her shared room with Joy had been filled with the warm morning sunlight coming from the window. A smile forms on her face as she reaches for her phone at the nightstand beside her bed, almost squealing when there’s a new message coming from Wendy.

daddy 🥰:

Good morning.

Good luck with your finals today.

She bit her bottom lip as she typed a quick ‘good morning’ and ‘thank you’, and sent it to Wendy before she left her bed to get ready for her first exam. Irene got her chance to go back to her phone when the only thing she needed to do was to wait for Joy to be ready. She noticed there’s a few new texts coming from Wendy, and once again ignored Joy’s reaction as she opened her message.

daddy 🥰:

Are you going to study at your dorm tonight?

I want to send something to you.

Irene Bae:

yeah

no need to send me dinner, babe

daddy 🥰:

Nonsense.

Just focus on your finals.

Here’s something to cheer you up.

*Photo*

Surprise is an understatement when Irene opened the photo.

Before her—the photo that fills the entire screen of her phone—is a picture of Wendy. It’s not the usual face picture someone used to send to their significant other. No. It was a picture of faceless Wendy who was only in her set of black bra and black briefs. Her exposed defined abs is the main attraction of the picture, along with the prominent bulge on her crotch. Irene starts to drool as she stares at the picture longer. She never expected Wendy to send something like this.

Irene Bae:

DAMN

thanks for the pic, baby <3

already set it as my new lockscreen <3

daddy 🥰:

You are insane.

Irene Bae:

for you?

always :*

daddy 🥰:

I’m going to work.

Text you later.

Irene simply sent her a waving sticker before she went back to stare at the picture Wendy just sent to her this morning. She doesn’t even notice there is a huge smile forming on her face as she studies every detail in the picture, to the point she can feel herself starting to remember it pixel by pixel.

“Damn,” whistled Joy from behind. “She’s hot.”

“Hey, back off!” barked Irene as she protected the picture from Joy’s view. “She’s mine.”

“Girl, it’s not like I’m going to steal her from you. I don’t even swing that way,” snorted Joy as she took her bag and slipped it on her shoulder. “Let’s go. Those two already waited for us downstairs. Just continue your thirst for your sugar daddy once we are in the class.”

She rolled her eyes before she grabbed her bag and followed Joy from behind as they left their dorm together. Later on, Yeri will tease the hell out of her, especially when she sees the exclusive Wendy picture. Seulgi will congratulate her for getting back with the love of her life, and ask if the doll still exists because she wants to have it now that Irene doesn’t need it anymore.

But all of that is a problem future Irene will need to handle. For now, she will allow herself to be happy as she feels confident to face the finals. And it's all thanks to Wendy for sending that picture.

Maybe she should put it up on her wall too.

---

BRAT IRENE... BRAT IRENE SAVE ME... SAVE ME BRAT IRENE...

this chapter actually supposed to be like the third or fourth flashback or whatever. but since i currently obsessed with the first snow (i just finished reading what does the fox say a few days ago) i decided to write this. and this particular flashback somehow keep bothering my brain like OKAYYYYY I WILL WRITE YOU GODDAMN

and irene's friends are revealed! beside wendy, all four of them are the same age, which makes seulgi and yeri a bit older than irene and joy being the maknae but this is fiction so i can do what i want. and i think it will be more fun if joy is her roommate, thats why i choose her!

anyway, please leave a comment and let me know what you think about this story so i can use it as my motivation to start writing for the next one! if you want to interact with me, you can find me on twitter (just follow, i will accept)! feel free to also buy me a coffee!

i think that's all from me. thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy and like this, and see you in the next chapter!