Sometimes Byulyi wondered if she made the right decision.

It literally saved her life, that she couldn't deny. 

However, she was clearly informed that only the most intimate memories would disappear when she had this surgery in order not to completely remove them from her life and reconnect with them more comfortably. So imagine how terrified she was to come around, regain her senses, and realize she could barely remember any detail about the person she once bloomed for. 

A lone tear rolled down her cheeks as she received the daffodil from a solemn Wheein. 

It was a pretty yellow and felt like the starting point of a big puzzle she would be trying to solve from now on.

***

It was hard, initially. Byulyi felt as if she was the only one whose identity was partly taken away together with the flowers. The sharp disconnection between her mind and heart almost sent her back to a depressive state as if the surgery never took place in the first place. She probably must have been so attached to her love interest that by "intimate memories" it meant everything she adored and remembered about that person. 

She never met them again after the surgery, and she wondered why. Did they freak out knowing she was romantically attracted to them? Were they disgusted - oh no, might this be the reason they no longer want to approach me? The immense guilt munched at her until Wheein finally told her that it was per their request that the topic be mentioned minimally in Byulyi's presence, and they left due to personal problems, nothing of which related to her in a negative light. With a sigh, her best friend added that it was the best for her sake, and despite completely not buying it at all, Byulyi forced herself to relent under the melancholic look Wheein gave her, and leave her questions unanswered. 

It wasn't like she didn't get any new information, though. When the initial panic died down a little and her mind was a little clearer, she found herself clinging to the minimal details buried in the very back of her mind.

A woman named Kim, with a smile that felt like sunshine, and had the same shoe size as her. 

Very vague, but it was better than nothing. 

***

Over time, Byulyi learned to lead her life back into a somewhat stable orbit. She enjoyed her work, hung out with her friends often, spent time exploring the world, and even occasionally earned money and prizes from her passion for photography.

She learned to numb her aching heart. 

When she saw her friends being lovey-dovey with their partners during their gatherings, she drank more and diverted her eyes from the scene.

When she arrived at a cold, silent apartment after work, she didn't think of it and quickly cleaned herself, getting ready to call it a day. 

She ignored the voice in her head that was constantly whispering to her ears, you're not worthy of love, you will never feel truly happy again.

Rather than fighting against a hopeless battle, it was simply easier to accept that she would live like this till her final moments on Earth - chronically unhappy thanks to a flawed heart. 

This time there wasn't much difference. Wheein giddily skipped to their table at the cafe where they often had lunch together, where Byulyi was already enjoying her lunchbox with both eyes glued to the phone screen.

- Unnie, do you have any spare evening next week?

- Hmm.... - Byulyi took a look at her calendar. - In theory, I will be free on the weekend and Friday. Do you need me to help you with something?

- Not... really? - Her bubbly friend was unusually sheepish today. - Actually... I want to introduce you to my girlfriend. 

There it was, the familiar sting that almost immediately started burning in her chest. But Byulyi tried to smile, genuinely happy for the younger woman.

- Is it about time that I push the responsibility of pampering my sister onto another shoulder? -  She playfully teased. - Aigoo, how have you grown up this fast?

- Can you not talk like I'm a baby? I'm just one year younger than you!

Wheein's cute pout triggered a whole-hearted laugh from the older woman. 

- You are forever my baby and nothing will change that, even when we age. But seriously, I'm very happy for you. Of course, I'm more than excited to meet your girlfriend. What's her name?

- Ahn Hyejin. She's also Korean but moved overseas with her family since young. We are the same age. - Wheein chirped, then her gaze softened. - She told me she would bring her closest friend as well, a year older than you. I don't know her name yet, but I was told she's very pretty.

Realizing the hidden meaning behind the information, Byulyi subconsciously tensed up. 

- Wheein, we are not having this conversation again. 

- I'm not even talking about finding a lover or anything. You don't know yet if she could be a good friend of yours or not. - The younger woman shook her head. - Beside... it's been years, unnie. Is it that hard to open up?

Byulyi just shrugged in response. 

Because it is. It wasn't like Byulyi never tried giving herself a chance to love again. She talked with many and went on dates with several. However, when the voice in the back of her mind told her, "They are not that person", Byulyi believed it, because she could feel it herself that no one she met was compatible with her puzzle. They weren't her.

Byulyi hoped to one day cross paths with her. To once again get to know such an important person to her. And if by any chance - no matter how slim it was - she fell in love one more time, she promised herself to keep this love with her to the grave, even if it meant literally dying from heartbreak and unrequited feelings.

***

The four met in a glamorous local restaurant. 

Byulyi and Wheein arrived 15 minutes earlier than the supposed meeting time, courtesy of the latter too excited at the reunion with her long-distance partner. They fixed their gazes on the door, waiting for the guests to come.

All eyes were on Ahn Hyejin the moment she walked through the door. Her healthily tanned skin glimmered under the dazzling chandelier light, and her hips swayed with a profound confidence that could easily intimidate people at first glance. 

However, it was the person behind her that captured Byulyi's attention.

Her outfit was way less outstanding - a sky blue floral dress - but her look was nothing less than perfect. Her blonde curly hair accentuated the feminine features on her face; her eyes were brown and deep and seemed to hold a thousand unspoken emotions inside. Her voice was low and a little hoarse, but to Byulyi it felt warm and strangely put her at ease.

Throughout the dinner, Byulyi didn't miss the discreet glances the woman threw at her from time to time before turning her attention back to the young couple, but she chose not to comment on it. 

***

Her new friend was named Kim Yongsun, a former music ghostwriter who had just begun to make her name known in the music production industry for the past few years and around that time started to travel around the world for a fresh change of life and inspiration. (For some reason, Byulyi was delighted to know Yongsun was beginning to settle down here again - probably a little too delighted for her own liking.) Inevitably, as Wheein and Hyejin's relationship progressed, the four women naturally formed a close-knit group of friends with regular get-togethers and meal dates, and Byulyi got the chance to learn about a new face in her life. 

They found out about their similar preference for food, general mindset and lifestyle as well as stark differences in personality. They also bore mind-blowingly physical similarities that had their friends tease them about night and day, like the same shoe and clothes size, the mirroring moles in various parts of their bodies; even their names contrasted with each other. Fascinated with the discoveries, Byulyi was quick to realize that Yongsun didn't really seem to be as surprised about this, as she instead only smiled knowingly. Curiosity bubbled within her, but she brushed it off, not thinking further of it. 

However, it was undeniable that there was something unexplainably familiar about the musician, which drew her closer. Yongsun's presence calmed her mind and her heart felt complete when she was on the receiving end of her subtle but thoughtful affection. There was also the intense concern for her well-being and the wilding butterflies in her stomach; all clearly indicated a strong infatuation threatening to cross the line of platonic fondness for the older woman. And Byulyi was terrified, rightfully so. The voice in her head had been silent, and as much of a nuisance as it had been, it also felt like she somehow lost a source of guidance. 

She didn't know what to do with it, but she stayed true to her words. If she ever fell into this deadly yet sweet trap again, she would go down with it if necessary. 

She thought about Yongsun again. And sighed. Yongsun was smart, loving, talented, beautiful, warm - hell, she could go on forever - how could anyone not fall for this woman?

She decided that she was definitely worth the sacrifice. Even if she might not be that person.

(Though the silence of her mind gave her the tiniest sliver of hope that the truth was the opposite.)

***

Having prepared everything for the trip, Byulyi lazed around in Yongsun's living room while waiting for the older woman to get ready. She looked at the couple mugs on the kitchen counter, the clothes fridge that was drying both of their clothes, and the doorway hall where their shoes were lined up neatly, and chuckled, amazed that they could insert their presence into each other's life so smoothly and naturally. 

- Yong! Are you alright?

She was cut off from her thoughts as the older woman's coughs echoed around the living room. She gently rubbed her back while she gulped down the warm glass of water Byulyi handed her, the crumbled piece of paper held tightly in Yongsun's other hand. 

- I'm alright. - She shot her a tired smile. - I'm used to it now. Chronic illness, remember?

- I know, but you seem to cough a lot more often these days, - The photographer frowned, - Should I accompany you to a doctor's visit?

- No no, Byul, it's fine, I promise, - Yongsun was quick to reject her offer, the aggressive manner taking her aback. - It's no big deal, and if I need to go, I can go by myself, okay?

- ... Okay. I'm just very worried about you, you know? Can you still go on this trip?

Worrying was an understatement. Her heart ached so much she could almost imagine it physically bleeding. 

- And I appreciate that very much, Byul-ah. Thank you. I wouldn't miss this trip to the world, of course I can go. - The older woman smiled again, this time more genuine, and Byul