Dear M, 

I seriously have no idea how to start this letter but I guess I should just go ahead and babble all my deepest thoughts and feelings just the way you do all the time. I just hope you have the patience to read until the end of this letter. Heh.

The day I met you was just any other day. I have no slightest clue or idea of the impact that you will have in my life. To be honest I did not know until recently. All I know is how I enjoy the little plots we wrote together. Who would not when it's (very) ? But then in the midst of it I began craving to get to know you more. In the most innocent and SFW-ish way. Talk about the silly little things, your likes and dislikes and your past. Do you remember? I asked you if you like me and you said no because we are still just getting to know each other and I said "good, because I don't fall easily either". Do you know that it was the biggest fat lie I have ever told you? Because by then I was already starting to feel the unspeakable.

But it was already carved in my mind back then that you do not want me that way and proceeded to brush off my feelings while trying to stay as your friend (and not so much a friend behind the curtains). I tried to hold myself back and build a strong friendship foundation with you, thinking it is what is best for us. But alas. Things did not go well and perhaps it will be my biggest regret. To see you love someone else and I could have been that person to begin with. From your love interest to the man on the sidelines watching you love him to bits while also getting your heart cracked by the same person is not the plot twist I was actually hoping for.

I was so ready to move on, M. Until I found out I could not. Not when I have not even gotten a chance to show you how I could possibly treat you better than he did/does. Not when I know to every fiber of my being that I could probably love you as much or even more than he does.

You are the life of any group. Your presence bring joy to wherever you might find yourself in. Your eyes sparkles whenever you tell people about your culture and your religion. You look so pretty when you excitedly share uncommon knowledge and educate the people around you. You are so passionate about every little thing - be it about the series or movies you are watching up to the person you love. I love listening to your commentary whenever you watch something or when something happened to you even I have no slightest idea as to what you are talking about. I love how you are not good at just talking but at listening too. You give chance for people to talk and you listen the same way you talk-- enthusiastically. You blend well with people and with so much ease. You are so patient. You can handle people diplomatically even if they ended up being mean to you. I love the way you overthink things because it meant you care so much about that something for you to let that something to bother you and your peace. I love how you keep saying that you just wanted to be loved and cared for by one person. I just hate that you fail to consider that I might and can be that person for you.

I know a lot about you. I love everything about you. I see every admirable trait of yours without being blind to your flawed self. And you know what? I still want you. Every piece of you. Every flawed piece of you. 

I want to be the first person you tell if something good happened to you. To be the first person to turn to if you had a bad day. To be the person who you just talk to even the most useless thing in the world. To be the person you come home to at the end of the day and the person you consider as your home. Your safe space. Your haven. I want to be the person you feel the most safe with the most. The one who keeps you warm during a storm or be yours whatever weather it might be. The one who you know will not change and forsake you when things go bad. Be your best friend. Be your banter buddy. Be your lover. Be your everything.

I want to be your person M. 

Will you give me a chance to be everything that I just described? 

Will you be mine? Will you be my girlfriend?