After I had arrived in Aokigahara forest, I went straight out of the forest. Every step I took, I could feel being parted from the luring force of the platform. I quickly went to the Narita airport and booked a flight back to New York. To be honest, I didn’t think that a quick getaway would work. However, it was as seamless as my anxiety creeping back in to me.

 

I knew what I have done was horrible. It haunted me for years. It was a fair torture, how his gentle love stuck to me while I ruthlessly left him with just a single break up letter. I knew he couldn’t come back to Earth. Not even in a few months. He doesn’t have a passport and he may be tagged as missing person by the feds. Not sure. I haven’t looked it up.

 

When I arrived in New York, all I could do was cry. I didn’t have the right to be sad about what I did to him but I was such a horrible person for having done that. After a few days of staying at Principal Judes’ condo, I moved out and rented a cheaper apartment. A smaller and almost dilapidated apartment. I looked for a job to sustain my life in the city and I was hired as a bank teller. It was a decent wage. It was enough to survive the lavish world of New York. I was able to keep in contact with my parents as if nothing happened.

Two years had passed and dad was promoted to a higher position in his company. Overseeing marketing on their international brewery firm. Mom wanted me to go with them as my sibling was already studying in London for the most parts of my life. However, I refused the offer and offered to stay in the U.S instead. I was born and raised in America. Regardless of its imperfection, I still love it. Or maybe, it’s because of Einz. Einz’ memory glued me to this place. The stress, anxiety and depression never subsided. The constant darkness looming around me would occasionally come to my thoughts. Being alone in the city is not making it better for me, too.  

 

I told my parents that I would quit my job at the bank and go back to Adonis. I told them that I would take care of the house and the dogs while they will be gone for a fairly long time. Even though my parents gave financial support, I still opted to find work at Adonis. Our local bank was kind enough to take my resume, though concerned as to the reason why I downgraded my paygrade compared to my previous job, the peace that Adonis brought to me was a lot.

 

On my days off, I would occasionally go trekking to Rose Creek Mountain. Maybe I had a death wish. I wanted to see the creature and confront it. It was odd to bring a crowbar in the forest. However, I yearned for the only bit of Elven life. I would occasionally bump onto Principal Jude but I really tried to avoid talking to him longer than 15 minutes. I was scared and embarrassed of the things I’ve said and done to Einz. I also refused myself to emotionally know how he has been doing. Though, deep inside, I wanted to know. I have so much love for Principal Jude and his kindness but the bitter reality that I am still trying to move on from Einz is an understatement. Every time I felt the anxiety that comes with missing him, I would force myself to take an ice bath. Torturing myself from feeling the cold that my ice-cold heart deserves.

 

A year had passed since I last left New York, Christmas season was about to come in a week. People may say ‘Time flies so fast’ but I always thought time was just too slow in its torture. I was able to get off from work early as I had some mandatory paid time offs to take. Since a full year that I’ve worked in our local bank, I had never gone on a vacation. I mean. Where should I go? The only vacation I could think of was going to the elven world and see him again. Even that, I don’t deserve.

 

Richard kept pestering me to go out with him. I’ve turned him down multiple times.

 

Ever since I met Einz, no one has ever compared to him. He left the bar too high for other men to come into my life. Though, I was never the type of person to have any standards nor interest. People weirded me out too much. They are such a headache to please.  However, Einz… Einz was dealing with that when he was with me too. I bet I was a headache to him.

 

It was late in the afternoon; I was driving back home. I thought about Grandma Susan and thought I would visit her. I haven’t really visited her since I got back. I guess the guilt from leaving his grandson makes me undeserving to be in her presence. However, I missed her so much. I missed talking about her grandson. I missed how she talked about her husband and their love story. And so, I mustered the courage to go and visit her today.

 

I stopped in front of her drive way. She peered at me with her thick glasses. The greys on her hair had become white now.

“Good afternoon, Grandma Susan. It’s me, Miya Park.” I walked towards her on the gravel lawn and climbed up the wooden stairs. She was sitting outside drinking tea.

“Oh! Miya! I have not seen you in ages! When did you just come back?” Her elated expression made me happy.

“Oh. I’ve just got back last year. I got so busy trying to find work. I wasn’t able to visit you. I’m so sorry.” I crouched down in front of her and knelt in one knee. Maybe I wanted her to know I was trying to beg for her forgiveness for not trying to muster the courage to see her again. I had to speak to her a bit louder now as every time I talk, she seemed to lean her ears towards me.

“Oh no. You shouldn’t be. How long will you be staying in Adonis?” She inquired.

“Well, my parents are still in Europe. I don’t know how long they would need to stay there. So, I think I’ll be staying here for quiet a while.” I responded. As I heard Aunt Lucy approach from the house, I slowly stood up as Grandma Susan took my hand to sit down.

 

I heard the screen door open and turned my head to door to greet Aunt Lucy. However, it was not Aunt Lucy.

 

I was frozen.

 

Mortified.

 

“Hey.” He greeted with a blank expression. 

I nervously raised my hands and gave a hesitant wave of greetings.

 

“Einz just came back more than a year ago, too.” I looked at Granma trying to avoid Einz’ gaze.

“That’s wonderful.” I responded blankly. More nervously.

“Grandma, the sun is about to go down. Let’s go inside and drink your medication.” Einz voice made my body quiver.

 

“Okay.” Grandma responded as she gently placed the cup of tea on the side table beside her.

 

“Help me get Grandma inside.” His demanding voice targeted towards me. I couldn’t help but nod and quickly stretched my had to lend a hand for grandma to grab hold on.

 

I took a quick glance at Einz hands and saw he was holding a tray of glass water and grandma’s medication. I looked back at grandma and told her to be careful on certain parts of the floor as she might tripped. I couldn’t help but notice Einz’ hands were almost of a purple hue. I replayed how I was able to get a glimpse of his