I stopped in my tracks after finding Hyukjae sitting on the floor, packing his clothes in his suitcase.

"Are you going somewhere?" My eyes are busy scanning everything that he's putting inside the suitcase like a hawk stalking its prey.

"That's quite a lot of clothes. Where are you going?" I inquired again.

"You don't have to know" He told me nonchalantly. Not even sparing me a glance. This made me more curious.

I walked closer to him, sat on his bed and leaned closer to peak over his shoulder. I kept asking and pestering him for the details until he gave in.

He sighed.

"Okay, fine! I'm going to Rome with my friends? Happy now?" Hyukjae groaned but he continues to stuff his suitcase with everything he needs for the trip. Of course he can't forget his beloved ramens.

"Friends? Who? Why are you going with them?" Knowing that Hyukjae will have fun with his friends AGAIN automatically made me pout, and I desperately want him to see my crestfallen look. I want him to look my way, take pity on me, and maybe ask me to come too. Even better, to ditch them and go with me instead. I can book my flight this instant if he just say the word.

But he didn't. He's too busy packing. I can even see his excitement and it's making me annoyed. And jealous.

"Hyukjaeeeee!" I whined. Look at me!

"What Donghae? Go to Kyuhyun or do something else. Stop bothering me. I'm busy."

"But... But who are you going with and for how long? Why didn't you tell me you're going somewhere?" I know I'm being unreasonably childish but I don't really care. I want to know everything and I won't stop until he tells him everything. Will you be here on...

Hyukjae groaned. Then he sighed for the nth time. He stopped what he's doing and turned to face me. "I'm going with Jeongsuk hyung and Jihoo hyung. We'll stay there for 12 days. I'll be back just in time for our fancon in Manila. I already told our managers about this and they approved. What else do you want to know?"

By the time he finished, I'm just sitting there quietly, head hanging low in defeat. Hyukjae will travel with Jeongsuk hyung again. My hands forming a fist. And Jihoo. Why is it always them? Why can't he ask me? I declined only once and he never asked me again. I shouldn't have ditched them back then if it means I can never travel with him again outside of work.

I did not answer him and he took my silence as a sign to continue what he's doing. After a few minutes, I decided to just leave. My poor heart cannot handle this. So I dejectedly stood up and left his room. I went back to my empty flat only to drown myself in misery. People thinks Hyukjae is the jealous lover, but I'm just as bad if not worse.

 

The next day, at dawn. I saw Hyukjae's message on the group chat saying he's leaving now and the members send their regards and told him to enjoy his vacation.

I did not say anything. Deep inside, I do not want him to enjoy his time with those two men. He can only have fun with me.

In order to distract myself, I made myself busy by updating my bubble to interact with fans and going out with my friends.

I thought I was doing fine, until I see a photo and video of a beautiful fan with Hyukjae in Rome. "The freakin' audacity!"

That night, I decided to go to the gym to relieve some of my fru