my heart, oh how wild it loves (you)

my heart, oh how wild it loves (you)

The sun lowers without a sound.

It’s always been such a strange concept to Kyuhyun that such a bright thing could disappear without anyone being able to find it again -- only to return when no-one was looking.

But the Sun…it reminds him of Donghae.

The humans do not worship Donghae like they worship the Sun, but the human glows just as brightly. He had been the first one to teach Kyuhyun about the idea of a rising and falling sun, and he had also been the one the one to teach him about the moon and the stars, but now, Kyuhyun watches the Sunset and teaches himself.

They had met when they’d only been children. Simply two young kids who’d encountered each other: one from a school of mermaids, the other a family of sailors.

And yet, by now, he comes every day to watch the falling orb as he waits for Donghae. Sometimes he has to wait hours, and sometimes the Sun has fully set before Donghae arrives, but he always waits, like the fool Donghae’s turned him into.

He would never tell him, but he’d wait days, weeks, months, if he had to – he’d wait through every sunset he had to, wait through every wave crashing against his back. He’d wait through starvation and loneliness if he had to, if that was what it would take to get Donghae to come back to him each day.

Kyuhyun leans back into the water, lying on his back as he drifts slowly around under the docks. In a dream world, he’d be able to swim freely, away from the cover of these old wooden things. But he’d been warned even as a child of the danger a human was to someone like him – a merman – and so he plays it safe.

He hears the clunk of boots approaching and he pokes his head around a wooden beam, watching as a lantern’s glow wades closer. Eventually, the glow gives way to the familiar face of a man – one who seems to be carrying a book.

Drifting gently out to reach the view of the human, Kyuhyun watches as the man smiles at him and wanders down towards the shoreline.

“You’re earlier than usual.” Kyuhyun shouts over the waves, only gazing back at the wide grin sent his way as the human settles down on the sand.

“Come and join me, Kyuhyun!” Donghae answers, waving a hand as he stops looking at Kyuhyun and instead starts to search through his book. “I know you’re pouting, by the way!”

Pouting? Kyuhyun scoffed, despite the heat tinging the tips of his ears. “I do not pout, Donghae.”

He waits for an answer, but gets none, and so sighs, watching as his tail flicks up water with each beat.

But it seems that’s all Donghae has to say today, and so Kyuhyun weakly crawls forward, pulling himself up the shore. He reaches a hand out to Donghae, and his chest hammers when the male’s rough fingers link with his, pulling him closer.

“So … you’re awfully quiet.” Kyuhyun pretends to busy himself with getting comfortable in the sand as he says it, shuffling the sand around his tail with a flap. He peels a piece of seaweed of his tail, throwing it off to the side somewhere.

“Just thinking.” Donghae replies, and his eyebrows are squashed together in that way they always become when he’s deep in thought.

“You’re always thinking.” Kyuhyun mumbles back, having imagined that their evening together would turn out much differently. Not with Donghae lost to the world, stuck in his thoughts. He knows how useless it is trying to break him out of it though – once Donghae has his mind set on something, nothing will change it.

Hand leaving Kyuhyun, Donghae turns onto his stomach, flipping through the book he holds, and Kyuhyun leans back curiously, holding himself up by his elbows as he peers over Donghae’s shoulder.

Merfolk and Nymphs it reads, the scrawly letters taking a few seconds to put themselves together in Kyuhyun’s head. “Why are you reading that?” He whispers over the crash of a wave, looking out at the horizon -- so that he doesn’t have to look at Donghae.

He feels Donghae move suddenly –- and if Donghae was any other man, perhaps you would say he had jumped. But Donghae doesn’t jump. Everything about him is so perfectly thought out: he expects everything before it happens. He wouldn’t be Donghae if he didn’t, Kyuhyun thinks.

“Just a book I got given when I was a child. It’s all very boring stuff really.” Donghae sighs, runs a hand through his hair. And then for the first time that evening, he looks at Kyuhyun.

He runs a gentle touch up Kyuhyun’s arm, and the younger looks down at him, biting his lip as he thinks about what the book must say. He’s sure it’s all largely incorrect information, but there must be a reason for Donghae having brought it.

“It says here that nymphs, if perhaps, blessed by a god, were able to turn themselves into trees, animals, bodies of water –- many things, so as to hide themselves from danger,” Kyuhyun listened carefully as Donghae spoke, oozing back into the sand as Donghae settled Kyuhyun’s head on his lap, through his hair like how he often played with the sand as a child. “On the other hand, mermaids don’t have such abilities.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t help the snort that escaped him. “I should think you already knew that about me, Donghae.”

Donghae smiled down at him, his halo of brunette hair glowing around his face against the light of the day’s sunset, and despite himself, Kyuhyun feels his eyes soften as he looks up at the male. “Yes, I doubt you’d make for an attractive tree, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, flapping his tail so that the water splashed up, hitting Donghae. “That’s a warning, Donghae.”

Laughing, Donghae nodded. He seemed to become lost in his thoughts again for a moment, so Kyuhyun gently tapped his bicep, secretly admiring the curve of his muscle which now become clear through his wet shirt. “You were saying something about mermaids?”

“Oh, yes,” Donghae gazed out at the sea before looking down at him, a familiar curiosity sparkling in his eyes. “The book says that instead of shapeshifting, there’s a type of mermaid called Sirens which have their own type of defence, or well…perhaps you could call it a method of attack, to be honest.”

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, never having had heard of a ‘Siren’. “Donghae, you’re rambling, get to the point.”

“Well, these sirens have what you’d call a hypnotizing voice, and they use it to lure sailors, which have strayed of course, over to them so that they can, to put it bluntly, eat them…do you know what the word hypnotizing means Kyuhyun?”

Rolling his eyes at the fact that Donghae had chosen that part of what he had just told Kyuhyun to be the most important, Kyuhyun shook his head. He’d learnt many, many words from Donghae, but he’d never heard of…”hypnosizing?”

“Hyp-not-iz-ing,” Donghae sounded out, and Kyuhyun repeated it slowly, feeling silently proud at learning the new word so quickly, unlike others that Donghae had tried to teach him. “It means to put someone in a…trance. One that they can’t break out of and holds their attention completely. It’s a scary idea, really, but I believe it exists.”

Kyuhyun nodded slowly, taking the information in. It was like Donghae to believe in something like that, probably best for his safety too after all, that he be aware of such a danger. But Kyuhyun knew Donghae believed in it because of more than that. He had always seen the world in a single book, always believed you could learn the secret to the whole universe from a single sentence. “What’s the point of telling me about all this then?”

Donghae sighed, playing with his hands. A nervous habit he’d had ever since they were children. “Well--I just, I’ve never exactly heard…you singing. I just wondered…it’s silly, I know, but the idea just got stuck in my head and—“

“You think I’m a siren?” Kyuhyun leant up on his elbows, eyes wide.

“No! Of course not!” Donghae pulled Kyuhyun to his chest, and, as if he didn’t weigh a thing, lifted him up onto his lap. His own eyes were equally as wide, and Kyuhyun couldn’t help the slight pout to his lips at not understanding what Donghae was so clearly struggling with. Donghae had lifted him so that his face was buried slightly in Kyuhyun’s neck and, trying to ignore his hammering heart, Kyuhyun linked their arms together reassuringly. “I just…wanted to hear you sing…please?”

Kyuhyun felt a blush race up his neck, painting the tips of his ears red. “…S-sing?”

Donghae nodded, and then he lifted his head up. His eyes only looked more pleading from this angle. There wasn’t a single way he could deny him such a thing…was there? 

“You’ve heard me sing on the boat, haven’t you?” 

Donghae’s hand gently rubbed his back and Kyuhyun shivered as the male’s warm skin danced across the beginnings of his scales. 

“It’s only me, Kyuhyun.” Donghae whispered. “We do everything.”

For a moment, Kyuhyun tried to find some excuse in himself. But eventually, he forced himself to relax, burying his head under Donghae’s jaw as he pushed himself into the whispered beginnings of a lullaby his mother sang to him when he was only a babe.

He felt Donghae still. The waves began to grow seemingly distant as Kyuhyun progressed through the start of the lullaby, until suddenly all he could feel was Donghae’s warmth around him as the melody played out.

Whether intentionally or not, Donghae rocked them slowly, the motion admittedly soothing to him despite his embarrassment.  

And then, like the beginnings of his own wave in the sea, Kyuhyun felt the low rumble in Donghae’s chest as the male started to hum in turn.

Kyuhyun’s eyes snapped open, meeting Donghae’s. He felt Donghae’s arm around his waist tighten as the male pressed their bodies together

“Simply…enchanting.” Donghae murmured, eyes gazing into Kyuhyun intensely as he spoke, their lips brushing with each word.

“I wasn’t aware you did all this tonight so you could get the chance to have a duet with me, Donghae.” Kyuhyun mumbled back. However, his eyes betrayed his attempt at disinterest, flickering to Donghae’s lips repeatedly, and Donghae smiled.

Time seemed to slow for a moment, and before he knew it, Donghae smashed their lips together. A small moan escaped Kyuhyun, and he lifted his hands to Donghae’s collar, trying to press himself even closer against this wonderful male. He’d mould them together if he had to. He’d become a new type of mermaid if he had to -- if it would mean this kiss would never end.

The Sun’s fading rays glimmered down upon them and despite his best attempt at restraint, a small whine escaped Kyuhyun’s throat as Donghae parted from him.

“D-Donghae,” He whispered, hands creasing Donghae’s collar as he buried himself against the taller’s neck. “Don’t leave…please don’t leave me.”

“Never.” Donghae answered. He was lying, Kyuhyun knew it. They couldn’t stay on this beach forever, but he tried to ignore that, tried to let himself have this as Donghae lifted his chin with two fingers, littering kisses along Kyuhyun’s neck as Kyuhyun desperately clung to him in a vain hope that the male would somehow find a way to never leave him. “I’m never leaving you.”

Kyuhyun nodded, trying to reassure himself as tears welled in his eyes, but eventually the waterfall fell, covering his cheeks. “I wish you could stay forever.” He whispered brokenly.

Donghae’s hands shakenly found his cheeks, and the male wiped his tears away as they came. Their lips met once more, and Kyuhyun keened into Donghae’s mouth, feeling like his heart was rupturing in his chest with every touch the male gave him.

“Please,” He whispered. I can’t take this. “Please, just promise me, you’ll always come back.”

“Kyuhyun,” Donghae’s answer was shaky against his lips. “I promise you.”

His words filled Kyuhyun’s head, as the stars filled the night sky, the Sun disappearing at last, leaving an empty blackness of the night.

“Thank you.”

Kyuhyun’s hands trembled as he pulled Donghae by his collar, letting their lips meet gently, and it was only then, as he let his head fall to Donghae’s chest, that he reassured himself.

He forced himself to take in a deep breath as Donghae held him close, pressing kisses and whispers to the top of his head.

(He’d wait days, weeks, months, if he had to – he’d wait through every sunset he had to, wait through every wave crashing against his back. He’d wait through starvation and loneliness if he had to, if that was what it would take to get Donghae to come back to him each day.

Because he knew –- Donghae would never break his promise.)

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