//

 

"you seem happier these days, yunjin."

 

was it the bright smile constantly glued on her face? or the extra bounce in her steps when she navigates the hallways at work? or the time she spends more than usual smiling goofily at her phone during tea breaks?

 

when yunjin thinks back — yes, she's happier, she muses. 

 

she doesn't reply anything, though it's true, and decides to gauge her friends' reactions instead. she bites back a smile when somi narrows her eyes dubiously at her and leans forward on her elbows in piqued interest. she's sure somi could read her silence as something, letting the blonde attempt to figure her out.

 

"she has a girlfriend, of course she is."

 

but kazuha answers for her gladly, her smile is small, lifted more on one corner in a half smirk. as if appearing proud because she happens to know the source of yunjin's increasing happiness. 

 

probably because she had the 'best friend chance' and yunjin had broken the news to her first.

 

yunjin has long since finished her lunch, she stares at nothing in particular and nonchalantly stirs her drink which was empty, with only the sound of ice cubes clinking incessantly. the smile she's been trying to suppress is slowly showing itself, glancing at somi's face contorting into pure confusion and then shock.

 

and when yunjin lets out an airy laugh at the random squeal the blonde lets out, she thinks somi definitely realises that she happened to be the last person in their friend group to know.

 

"yunjin says she's super pretty but refuses to show us any pictures, so i'm starting to think it's all in her head." chaewon makes her snarky remarks as usual, yawns because being satiated makes her sleepy, and yunjin knows she'll be catching the woman dozing off at her desk later. 

 

but internally, chaewon's genuinely happy for her, because yunjin wears her feelings on her sleeve. her words are often backed up by her honest gestures (and her amusing inability to lie or put on a pretense for so long). 

 

"my girlfriend's real, don't call me delusional." yunjin rolls her eyes, knows just what kind of response would come out next. 

 

"s'what delulus would say." chaewon shrugs, wearing her lanyard around her neck and then clutching her tray. kazuha laughs at her rermark, patting yunjin on her shoulder when the latter shoots chaewon a glare. 

 

"the longer you gatekeep your girl, the more curious we get." kazuha says, she couldn't deny her own rising curiosity, wanting so badly to know who's got yunjin's precious heart.

 

"ugh, you guys are so embarrassing, it's why i'll never introduce her to you." pink coloured yunjin's cheeks, she's suddenly shying in her seat. then when the embarrassment feels too much, she hastily picks up her tray as well and quickly trails behind chaewon, whose shoulders shook with laughter. 

 

meanwhile, kazuha's giggling at somi who's still struggling to wrap her head around the revelation, the latter lagging behind her friends.

 

"no- you guys i'm just- really offended how i'm the last to know such crucial information?!"

 

                                               *

 

"hi..." 

 

it's embarrassing (and uncool) how easily breathless she gets, yunjin thinks she should start carrying around a portable oxygen tank whenever they go out on dates. she blames it all on the woman in front of her, so pretty with her freshly cut bangs, hair in a charming raven wolfcut. 

 

miyawaki sakura; a walking dream, has huge beautiful doe eyes that carry a brilliant glow (yunjin swears she could see herself clearly in them) that yunjin thinks they might as well have been planets trapped in her eyes, has a faint blush that coats her one ear that always peeks out. those rosy lips are stretched in a wide smile and yunjin is on cloud nine because she knows she is the cause of it.

 

"hi, you." sakura simply replies with a hint of tease in her silvery voice and yunjin already thinks she's going to fall over.

 

her hands which are unsure of what to do awkwardly goes behind her back. nevermind her awkward gestures (she doesn't know sakura finds it endearing), that lovesick grin she has on her face stays, bare for sakura to see. 

 

"you look so pretty tonight." yunjin automatically says, the sentence always coming out instinctively whenever her eyes land on this woman she couldn't believe she called hers. 

 

so often that she might as well be an 'auto-generated sakura praise machine'.

 

now, yunjin is taller but those high-waisted pants sakura has on accentuates her legs, platform sandals adding a couple inches to her height (although yunjin prefers their original height difference, so perfect for forehead kisses). the scoop neck blouse she dons hugs her body so perfectly, her ant-sized waist always leaving yunjin slack-jawed with how her hands could easily encircle them completely.

 

"you say that every date." sakura chuckles, looks away timidly for a second because yunjin's gaze oozing with fondness on her has that effect. one that summons a garden of butterflies soaring in her stomach, so intense that it's the kind of feeling she's sure she has experienced only once in a blue moon.

 

but yunjin makes her feel it everyday, so easily.

 

"and i'm right." yunjin grins sheepishly, brown blazer swishing behind her as she takes a step forward, stops just about an arm's length away from the beauty in front of her who flashes her a smile, shy and sweet, just for her.

 

"can i get a hello kiss?" yunjin asks tenderly, doesn't decrease the remaining space between them and instead allows sakura to take initiative whenever she wanted to.

 

they're barely a month into their relationship, and maybe to others it seemed slow, but to them it was perfect.

 

sakura giggles behind lithe fingers, amused by yunjin who merely keeps her eyes glued to her, those bright brown orbs never once tearing away. something in yunjin's chest swells when sakura wordlessly enters her space and leans in, feels the ghost of her smile grazing her lips before fully pressing them onto hers. 

 

in a short kiss so chaste, yunjin feels everything at once. the pleasant squeeze in her stomach, the rapid palpitations in her chest, the sole thought of sakura being the only matter grounding her in a staggering world.

 

it's so sweet, feeling sakura's hands gently grabbing hers with a touch almost feather-like as they pull away. she holds onto yunjin like she holds something dear, looks up and her smile instantly grows— just like a sunflower looking at her sun.

 

                                               *

 

"i want to pursue you."

 

those words, firm and bold, came out of yunjin's mouth abruptly on a weekday evening. her expression was taut, lips pressed in a thin line as her eyes looked at sakura straight in the eyes. 

 

yunjin's eyes searched sakura's, knuckles slowly turning white as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. maybe she had imagined it as something akin to a support, to brace herself of what's to come, despite knowing it truly did nothing to cease the storm of worries clouding her head right then.

 

they haven't known each other personally for very long, from being strangers passing by each other weekly outside the bakery by the subway, to finally being acquaintances (and then friends) when yunjin had so courageously started small talk after weeks of musing about the pretty stranger who seemed to coincidentally queue in front of her everytime.

 

her radiant smile worked wonders then, because sakura sensed the gentle warmth her presence emitted. yunjin had been so forward with sakura after getting to know her better, always the one to take the initiative and perhaps along the way, she had hoped sakura had caught on her intentions.

 

and then came the day where yunjin had wanted to make it clear — because her feelings had been filled to the brim and now that the surface tension had broken, her feelings had overflown. 

 

she wanted to assert herself in order to assuage the burning desire in her chest. she was on the verge of falling, and before she could hurt her own feelings even more, she thought it would be better to clear everything up then. 

 

"i just felt like letting you know what my intention is, and i really want to know if there's a possibility for you to feel the same way but if there isn't any then..." yunjin trailed off, she broke her gaze away for a moment, sakura's eyes caught the way her jaw clenched.

 

and when yunjin looked back at her with wistful eyes, sakura saw blue within her yellow.

 

"...we could just remain friends. or not if you're uncomfortable, i totally get it." yunjin smiled thinly, her hands that lay on the wheel now slowly settling in her lap. if yunjin hadn't known any better, she'd thought she had already ruined this friendship.

 

sakura's eyebrows furrowed, still processing yunjin's words in shocked silence. truthfully, she hadn't known or even foresaw yunjin's confession — let alone her feelings. 

 

in her eyes, yunjin was a cherished friend who had painted her monotonous mornings in pastel colours. someone who's exuberant presence could make a person's day by merely existing.

 

so seeing the way yunjin's posture became limp, as if she was prepared to take any answer from her and yield, sakura knew she had to choose her next words carefully. she knew yunjin as someone so mellow, but never had she ever saw that side of her as a weakness.

 

more than that, to sakura, it was a side so deserving of love. 

 

"i've really liked you a lot since our first talk, actually even before then. you always bought a melon bread or two, and we exchanged glances a couple times but you probably didn't know such a small thing caused a whirlwind in my guts." yunjin continued, shifting shyly in her seat. 

 

this time, there was the fleeting look of fondness on yunjin's face as she reminisced their stranger days — gaze so soft sakura thought anyone loved by her should thank their lucky stars. 

 

sakura bit her lower lip, hands balled into fists. 

 

when was the last time someone looked at her like that?

 

sakura couldn't recall, maybe because she was certain yunjin is the only one.

 

"heh... i guess you could call it love at first sight?" yunjin chuckled wrily.

 

the period of silence after was so agonising to yunjin that she was sure she had ruined everything between them. she shut her eyes tightly and inhaled sharply, the long pause only filled her heart with more dread.

 

but something soft placed itself on top of her hand, and yunjin immediately opened her eyes to see sakura smiling tenderly at her. and when she glanced down, it was the latter's hand atop hers, gentle and reassuring.

 

"...okay."

 

one word was all it took for yunjin's heartbeat to quicken. 

 

"i'm willing to give us a chance."

 

yunjin's eyes widened as she took in those next words, letting them sink in. and sakura's doe eyes looking back at her lovingly was enough to eradicate her doubts.

 

"you're a good person, yunjin. i don't see why anyone wouldn't want you as a lover." sakura meekly admitted, her eyes looking at their hands, her thumb lightly rubbing yunjin's knuckles.

 

and at once, it disappeared — the heavy feeling weighing down in her chest — replaced with something so much lighter that yunjin's heart felt like it was floating around. a sigh of relief escaped her lips, yunjin held back her tears as she looked at sakura in disbelief.

 

"sakura... thank you, really..." yunjin clutched sakura's hand tightly, "you don't know how much this means to me, i promise i'll do my best!"

 

sakura chuckled lightly, cheeks dusted pink. she shook her head, reaching a hand out to rub yunjin's shoulders.

 

"i should be the one saying that... i know you could do no wrong, yunjin-ah." 

 

yunjin smiled, one filled with so much radiance and bliss that sakura thought even the sun should be envious. 

 

what followed after was just exchanging timid glances and shy smiles, letting the moment linger and throughout it all, their hands never once separated, touches they shared were as soft as velvet — fingers interlacing as if tethered by the red thread of fate.

 

and perhaps they were.

 

                                               *

 

"i don't see why you had to drag the two of us for your checkup, zuha."

 

yunjin sighs, languidly pushing the glass door and holds it open for somi and kazuha. she doesn't know why she was leading when she wasn't even the patient, rolling her eyes when kazuha refused to enter first.

 

really, she could have been at starbucks right now, enjoying her much needed coffee on a calm saturday morning. alas, she couldn't turn away from a friend 'in need'.

 

"...i need emotional support." kazuha says nervously, sounding choked up as her eyes flit around the clinic which was almost packed like sardines.

 

she rubs her clammy palms against her jeans and spares hesitant looks to the registration counter. once she checks in, there isn't any way out. 

 

yunjin shoves her forward with a finger when she walked stiffly like a rusted machine, somi looking equally displeased for having (forced) to tag along to kazuha's appointment, arms folded as she trudged behind them. 

 

"you're only getting your blood drawn, you're so dramatic." yunjin scoffs.

 

"if i don't get my promised donuts after this, i'm buying a box of 14-gauge needles and god forbid i superglue them to the walls of your bedroom." somi grumbles under her breath, glaring at the japanese who visibly shivered at the imagery.

 

then kazuha shifts her eyes towards yunjin and squints in suspicion, a corner of her lips twitching.

 

"well, i'm not the one hiding my girlfriend from my friends and dedicates a taylor swift song to her on my close friends' story everyday." kazuha huffs, earning a look of disbelief from yunjin who gasped theatrically.

 

"can you leave a woman in love alone?" yunjin nudges kazuha's side with an elbow, "just be patient, i'll introduce you when the time is right-"

 

something small and hard collided against yunjin's leg in the midst of their walk. she makes a startled noise before whipping her head downwards.

 

"ow..." a tiny voice whimpers.

 

it was a child who looked no older than six, full cherubic cheeks, in adorable overalls which yunjin recognised one of the sanrio characters had their logo slapped onto it. the little girl rubbed her forehead as she sat on the floor, eyebrows creased.

 

"oops- rough landing there cutie, you okay?" yunjin squats down and helps the little girl up, smiles apologetically when she sees red peeking out of her disarrayed bangs. 

 

it's a little awkward when the little girl doesn't say anything, merely looking up at her with a raised brow as if scrutinising her entire being. yunjin glances up questioningly to her friends who were containing their giggles, knowing out of the three of them, she was the one who could handle kids better (so they deliberately left themselves out on this one). yunjin resists rolling her eyes and turns her attention back to the little girl who still kept her unwavering gaze on her.

 

she chuckles seeing the reddening nose and the snot that keeps sliding down the girl's nostrils, the little sniffles that desperately try to hold them in was so cute that yunjin thinks she has the cutest nose scrunch. just as she was about to ask the girl where her parents were, footsteps come rushing towards them.

 

"miyawaki eunchae! don't run off like that! this is a-"

 

yunjin freezes, hearing a voice so similar there was no way it wasn't who she thought it was. she promptly looks up, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise when she makes eye contact with a woman none other than sakura. 

 

she sees the bewildered look in the woman's eyes, seemingly mortified at the sight of yunjin as her big eyes were flitting between her and eunchae to and fro. 

 

if yunjin hadn't known better, sakura looked as if she didn't want to be here.

 

yunjin probably knew why, there were a myriad of questions emerging in her head, one of them lingering on why this little girl carried sakura's last name. 

 

yunjin doesn't remember sakura mentioning anything about a daughter. 

 

"mommy, snot keeps running down my nose." at the voice of her mother, the girl instantly turns away from yunjin and pouts at her mother who still stood stiffly in place.

 

sakura's mouth opened and closed like fish out of water, rendered speechless and her body seemed to forget how to function. 

 

"here," yunjin calmly says and taps on eunchae's shoulder, taking out a couple plies of tissue from her purse and gently wiping the little girl's nose. she chuckles when eunchae grunts as she wipes her nose clean.

 

"all better?" yunjin asks, fixing her bangs and smiled when the reddened spot on her forehead had disappeared.

 

"thank you but not really, it keeps appearing even after mommy wipes it a million times!" eunchae grouses cutely, yunjin had to resist the urge to pinch and bite those scarlet soft cheeks.

 

"it'll go away, the doctors here will make you all better." yunjin pacifies her, laughing when eunchae threw her a dubious look but nodding anyways.

 

yunjin rises to her feet and briefly glanced at sakura who had her gaze fixed on the floor, lips drawn in a thin line. she notices sakura's trembling hands having a vice-like grip on the sling of her purse, how she appeared smaller than usual and seemingly afraid of what she kept veiled from yunjin.

 

"listen to your mom, okay? you can't be too michievous in a clinic." yunjin grins at eunchae and pats her head softly, prodding her towards her mother. 

 

yunjin's heart fluttered as eunchae nods firmly while sniffling, bringing her little feet back towards sakura and hugging her legs.

 

"thank you..." yunjin looks up when sakura utters quietly, not missing the anxiety in her voice. 

 

yunjin nods wordlessly with a small smile on her lips, shoving her hand deep in her jacket pockets when all she wanted to do at this moment was to reach out and soothe the look of doubt on sakura's face.

 

sakura shortly glances behind her at her two friends, and feeling like the embarrassment was too much, she looked down and at eunchae instead, smiling when her daughter nuzzles her cheek against her hand. 

 

yunjin notices this and jabs both her elbows at her friends, hoping they caught on and would stop staring like nosy neighbours. 

 

"miyawaki eunchae?" just then, a woman in a white coat with a clipboard in hand comes out of the corner, breaking the stiffling silence.

 

"right here, doctor." sakura answers without missing a beat, puts on a smile as she holds eunchae's hand.

 

"please follow me to the pediatrics room." 

 

"byebye pretty-lady-i-think-i've-seen before!"

 

sakura nods and pulls eunchae along, shushing her when her loud voice filled the place. yunjin giggles and waves back at the little girl, although confused because she had never seen eunchae before this.

 

she glued her eyes on sakura's back hoping she would at least turn for a while, smiles widely when she does and gives yunjin a thankful smile. and suddenly the heavy feeling in her chest is vanquished, she knows she should be worried, having a million questions in her head but at the moment she felt calm.

 

maybe because everything's going to be fine, yunjin wants to believe this.

 

"that's... not who i think it is right?" somi spoke up, putting a hand on yunjin's shoulder. although the latter hadn't said anything, she figured it out just by observing the way they looked at each other.

 

"that's my girlfriend."

 

"judging from you guys' reaction, you didn't know she had a... kid?" kazuha cautiously says, forehead creasing with worry.

 

"i totally didn't, she never said anything about one." yunjin scratches her head, leading them to the waiting chairs in front of the many counters.

 

"she's not playing you right? if she hid the fact that she has a child from you then who's to say she doesn't have a man-"

 

"watch it," yunjin gives a sharp look,"don't talk about sakura like that. i only believe what i see, now stop assuming."

 

even if she doesn't know the full picture, she felt that it was right to defend sakura and didn't regret it. the rest of the appointment goes smoothly, yunjin doesn't catch a glimpse of sakura after that and thinks it was better off that way for a while. she only hoped sakura wasn't being too much on herself, because the look she had on earlier broke something in yunjin.

 

and she never wanted to see it again.

 

'can we meet? i promise i'll explain everything.'

 

'okay.'

 

yunjin receives a text from sakura that evening, and it was enough to make her feel hopeful.

 

                                              *

 

they meet at a café near sakura's house, the one they sometimes frequent to and have brunch dates as sweet as the desserts they served. but the bittersweet feeling is overpowering tonight, sakura thinks something is lacking in her drink. maybe it was just her.

 

she could barely raise her head even though yunjin was right in front of her, just waiting in silence, looking at her with a gaze no different than the other days they have been together.

 

yunjin, who was ever so patient. yunjin, who doesn't pry yet is all ears for her. yunjin, who doesn't turn away when sakura thought she would and loves her unconditionally. 

 

yunjin, who is her yellow. taught her that everything deserved a second chance — her and love too.

 

sakura stops fiddling with her fingers and in a deep breath. 

 

"her name is eunchae," she slowly looks up at yunjin,"miyawaki eunchae."

 

her chest tightens, the feeling of remorse so heavy in the pit of her stomach. she wonders why yunjin was smiling so softly when all she should be was frowning — to feel angry, betrayed.

 

"she's my daughter," sakura breathes, feels the heat in the back of her eyes and she figures she should be making this quick and not waste yunjin's time. 

 

every second that passed, she feels her yellow slipping through her fingers.

 

"i've been a single mother all this time and i'm sorry that i hid the fact from you. you deserved to know this before we started dating. so i understand that if you feel uncomfortable and want to end this-"

 

"i refuse." 

 

sakura's head whips up at yunjin's sudden voice, eyebrows furrowed upon her curt and firm response, perplexed with such answer.

 

"r-refuse...?" 

 

"sakura, can i be honest?" yunjin begins and leans forward on the table, looks into her eyes briefly before stirring her coffee.

 

sakura doesn't understand, nods hesitantly instead and braces herself as she nervously awaits her response. yunjin barely said anything yet she felt like she lost everything already.

 

"actually yeah... i was super surprised at the beginning. but the first thought that came to my mind wasn't the fact that i was upset you hid something very important from me." 

 

yunjin says, smiles wryly at sakura whose throat tightened. she stops stirring and crosses her arms on the table, casting a pensive look. sakura watches on attentively, swallowing hard as her heart dropped when yunjin gives her a sad smile.

 

"rather, i was disappointed at myself because maybe i haven't been reliable enough for you to tell me about her. i mean, we've been together for barely a month, there's ought to be things we don't know about each other. we're at the stage where we're still getting to know more about each other, and i think it's okay that we're moving slow." 

 

yunjin admits, the sad smile dissolving into relief. sakura has her heart in as she takes in those words, eyes turning glassy when warm hands slowly reach over to cradle hers.

 

"i'm just glad that you didn't run away, and instead called me up like this to be forward about it. i think you're so brave, sakura. it's one of the reasons i fell for you." 

 

each gentle caress on her hand only urged the unbearable squeeze in her chest, burns and burns. 

 

"and eunchae?" yunjin tugs her fingers gently, beckoning her to look up at her even with tear-filled eyes, because it didn't matter if she was a mess, yunjin still loves her the same. "super adorable, and she's all the more reason for me to love you."

 

and suddenly everything felt lighter, sakura doesn't even realise she's shedding tears until yunjin reaches out to wipe her cheeks with her thumb. 

 

"so i want you to know, that i still really like you and i want to continue this relationship. i'm so certain now." yunjin purses her lips seeing sakura's tearful face, whose lips trembled with every choked sob, chin crumpling like a walnut as she bit her lip to keep herself from crying out loud. 

 

yunjin feels the urge to cry too, wishing she could have been there for sakura when she needed it most but she held it in and smiled warmly instead.

 

"yunjin, why..." 

 

the taller woman rises from her seat and quickly walks over to slide in beside sakura, instantly wrapping her arms around the fragile figure who immediately surged into her embrace. yunjin kisses the top of her head and lets sakura cry out into her shirt, smiling with utmost tenderness.

 

"because i love you, do i need anymore reasons?"

 

                                              *

 

after a heartfelt rendezvous, yunjin had mentioned that she wanted to meet eunchae again as soon as possible. to her surprise, sakura offered her to come over for the first time (it made sense why yunjin never hung out at her place now) immediately after their meeting.

 

it's heart fluttering to yunjin how happy sakura was as she talked about eunchae, how she was trying to hide her enthusiasm of wanting to officially introduce her daughter to her girlfriend. it was happiness incomparable.

 

"she's a brave one, is it really okay to leave her alone at home?" 

 

yunjin tilts her head as she watches sakura punching in the code to her house, genuinely concerned about eunchae's well-being. 

 

"i rarely do that i promise you, only when i really need to. and my baby's brave and smart so it's less worrying. plus, i had to get ahold of you asap." sakura appreciates yunjin's compassion, pacifies the latter's worries with a gentle kiss on her cheek.

 

the first thing that greeted them was eunchae, who was already standing at the entrance with her little arms on her hips, a melody plushie within her grasp. yunjin notices the way her eyes flicked to her in surprise, before they return their attention back to sakura.

 

"mommy, were you crying?" eunchae spoke in a worried tone, waddling up to sakura with pursed lips when she sees the woman's swollen bloodshot eyes.

 

eunchae instantly turns her head to yunjin with an accusatory look.

 

"lady, did you make her cry."

 

sakura chuckles, bringing the little girl in for a loving embrace. yunjin stood awkwardly, not exactly wanting to know what such a child would be capable of if she knew yunjin technically did make sakura bawl her eyes out.

 

"it's okay sweetie, i cried happy tears."

 

eunchae suddenly pulls away with a twinkle in her eyes.

 

"...did you win the lottery?“

 

the way eunchae answered innocently has yunjin burying her laughter in her hands. sakura, who shook her head sighed at such an unforeseen answer, though it wasn't anything new to her.

 

sakura beckons her inside their house, yunjin lets her eyes roam around the minimalistic yet cozy interior. one corner of it though stood out, a small portion of the floor had foam play mats of variegated colours, a toy box zipped up half-way with a few plushies sticking out. accompanied with a small blue table and a chair set where an open colouring book lay upon it, crayons sprawled.

 

"do you want tea or water?" sakura asks as she picks up a random playing block on the floor.

 

"you have tea? i thought you hated it." yunjin looks at her questioningly.

 

she becomes confused when sakura's cheeks grew pink, the latter shyly putting the block away.

 

"well, i bought it because you like it..." 

 

ah, yunjin blushes and doesn't say anymore. 

 

"eunchae doesn't like tea either! it tastes like sweet flavoured grass." the sweet moment gets interrupted as eunchae pops up, voicing her dislikes out loud and even stuck a tongue out at the thought of it. 

 

"tea is good for you! and i'll just have water since we had coffee earlier, thanks kkura." yunjin smiles thankfully at her girlfriend, settling on the leather couch.

 

"to each our own, lady." eunchae nods in understanding, "mommy, can i have hot chocolate?"

 

sakura hums, bending down to adjust eunchae's overalls where one side of it had slipped off her shoulder. it was a size too big when they bought it and despite that, eunchae had wanted it so badly, wanted to wear it on almost every occasion.

 

"sure sweetie, you didn't have one when i wasn't around, did you? the hot water dispenser is dangerous." sakura looks at her with a pointed look, gently pinching one of her cheeks.

 

"of course i didn't! i listen well!" eunchae proudly exclaims, chest puffed out with pride. she grins happily when sakura pecks her cheeks, leaning affectionately into her pats that followed after.

 

"be nice to our guest, eunchae." sakura half-jokingly says, glancing at yunjin knowingly before making her way towards the kitchen.

 

eunchae wordlessly nods ecstatically, her little bangs flying in every direction which how much energy she put in such a small gesture. then she turns to yunjin and suddenly the latter becomes self-aware, not knowing what to exactly do.

 

"seems like your cold went away." yunjin says and coughs awkwardly, noticing eunchae had stopped sniffling, though her nose was still pinkish.

 

"i took my medicine and a nap and i got better! my nose still itches but i'm feeling okay." eunchae waddles towards the couch and swings a leg up, struggling to climb the couch for a moment.

 

yunjin was going to help but eunchae had held a palm out (her cheeks were red with embarrassment because yunjin saw her struggle), finally able to mount herself by kicking herself off the floor with all her energy her one leg could muster.

 

"good for you! so... how old are you?" yunjin giggles when eunchae leans forward to the edge of the couch so she could swing her legs, her melody plushie sitting cutely on her lap.

 

"i'm..." eunchae frowns as she brings up her hands, fingers lifting up and down awkwardly as she attempts to show off her age. "...this years old!" 

 

yunjin's mouth opens in surprise as she nods in acknowledgement, seeing the five on eunchae's fingers. well, more like four on one hand and one on the other. 

 

she's a little confused but she's got the spirit.

 

"for a five year old, you speak a little more sophiscated than your age." yunjin praises her, tapping on one of eunchae's open palms and internally squeals upon how soft and cute it felt.

 

"it's 'cause i'm five and a half." eunchae replies as if she made a point, yunjin just laughs, finding her confident responses hilarious. 

 

"enough about me lady, we met in the morning! are you mommy's girlfriend?" 

 

eunchae squints her eyes up at her, yunjin gasping because she was pleasantly surprised at how the little girl understood the notion of two women dating. 

 

of course she would, she's sakura's babygirl. yunjin beams, leaning in to boop eunchae on her nose. her heart swells when eunchae swiftly covers her face with her plushie, hiding her embarrassment— the fond gesture from yunjin making her flustered. but she quickly shakes it off and appears tough again, although her reddening cheeks gave her away.

 

"now, how'd you know that?" 

 

"because you're that lady on her phone wallpaper!" eunchae exclaims, unaware that she was exposing sakura. yunjin's eyes widened for a moment, not expecting such an answer but one thing about kids, is that they are brutally honest and would not hesitate to embarrass you.

 

a playful smirk made its way onto her lips, she ought to tease sakura about that.

 

"i'm a little jealous though because i used to be her wallpaper." eunchae whines, cheeks puffed as she threw a glare at yunjin who turned rigid.

 

"ah... sorry?" yunjin awkwardly laughs and rubs her nape, not really knowing how to respond. more than that, she finds an upset eunchae so adorable. 

 

right, now she has someone to fight for sakura's undivided attention. but it's okay because it's eunchae.

 

"here!" eunchae sticks a hand in her front overalls pocket and out came a candy within her grasp.

 

"a... lollipop?" yunjin arches a brow, hesitant to take the candy but then eunchae practically shoves it in her palms when she was too slow.

 

"yep! my favourite one too, so eat it well because i don't give my candy to just anyone!" eunchae wags an index finger at yunjin, mustering her most daunting look at the older woman who merely giggles at her cute warnings.

 

"oh yeah? and why am i an exception?" yunjin's lips curved up on one end, prodding the little girl for more witty answers. 

 

but she doesn't expect eunchae to grow silent, her expression unreadable. and just when she grew worried and thought she was wrong to question, eunchae smiles warmly at her and scoots forward.

 

the little girl lightly taps her knee and looks up at her, eyes turning into crescents.

 

"because you make mommy smile a lot."

 

yunjin feels her heart jump, hearing words so genuine from a child and the way she sounded content. she sees the gratitude in eunchae's bright eyes, the way they glimmer as if they were looking at a miracle. and maybe to this child, yunjin is a miracle.

 

like how sakura is to her.

 

and then the warm moment is over when eunchae returns to being her mischievous self, grinning crookedly as she spoke.

 

"sometimes, she giggles while texting. other times, she smiles soooo-" eunchae spreads her arms widely, so widely she fell backwards (yunjin coos at this) and quickly gets back up, "-wide when she's calling you. also, i know that she goes on dates with you when she sends me to grandma's." 

 

eunchae puffs her cheeks once again, hugging her beloved plushie and looks up at yunjin with puppy eyes.

 

"can i tag along next time pleaseeee?" she pleads, envious of the idea that yunjin had been taking her mother out to fun little dates without bringing her most precious along.

 

yunjin just laughs, pinching those plump cheeks.

 

"now i'm all for that idea, but you're going to have to ask your mom about that, cutie."

 

"eunchae, dates are meant to be between two people." sakura comes in with a tray in hand, shooting eunchae a playful glare as she puts it on the coffee table.

 

"there isn't a written rule where there can't be more, mommy. after all, if double dates exist, why can't 1 and a half dates exist?" eunchae asserts her point, sliding down the couch and bouncing towards her hot chocolate.

 

even after such a thought-provoking quip, she doesn't forget to quickly thank her mother for whipping up her favourite drink. yunjin makes an 'o' shape with , giggling when she exchanges glances with sakura.

 

"sometimes, i worry that you inherit too much of my wit." sakura sits on the floor and holds the bottom of eunchae's mug as she drank— in any case it slips out of her tiny hands, she was prepared to catch it.

 

she wasn't going to risk the chance of spoiling her best carpet. 

 

yunjin joins them, sitting cross legged on the floor as she takes a sip of her water. 

 

"baby, stop chugging your hot chocolate, you're going to choke." sakura sighs, trying to cautiously pry the mug away from eunchae's lips, but it was practically glued to . she gives in quickly— so used to it — just monitoring as eunchae drank it all and held her small back in case she fell over chugging her drink.

 

yunjin chuckles as she watches the mother-daughter duo, briefly wondering how the five-year-old had the grip of a titan. 

 

"ah! delicious as always!" miraculously, eunchae managed to finish it all in one go (which really bewildered yunjin). 

 

eunchae the chocolate mustache on her lips, grinning up at sakura innocently as the woman wipes the missed spots on . yunjin assists her, wiping the single chocolate streak on eunchae's chin with her thumb before it could stain her beloved overalls. sakura smiles at her aid, reaching over to wipe yunjin's finger with a wet tissue, to which the latter responds with a sweet smile.

 

"you're pretty high maintenance, you know." yunjin states, poking eunchae's belly once.

 

"i'm high manana-wha...?" eunchae looks at yunjin weirdly, tilting her head at the foreign phrase. when the two women giggle at her blatant adorable confusion, eunchae looks at them back and forth, cheeks flushed. 

 

"are you going to be my mama?" eunchae ignores them and turns to yunjin with a serious look instead, tugging the string of her hoodie.

 

it catches yunjin off-guard, really who wouldn't be when a child you just met suddenly wants you to be their parent? it makes her flustered, unable to form the right words. meanwhile, sakura was gently pulling at eunchae's hand and was trying to tell her off but the little girl doesn't relent.

 

sometimes, sakura forgets eunchae inherits her strong resolve along with her wit. 

 

"i like you because you make my mommy happy, can you please hurry up and marry mommy?"

 

because at times like these, she feels sorry. because a bright child like eunchae should never have to worry about her mother's happiness when she herself was enough. 

 

'just as i'm loved by you mommy, you too deserve to be loved.'

 

those difficult times she wished eunchae didn't have to feel neglected, those little ears she wished could have only listened to her sweet lullabies instead of raised voices, those tears she'd secretly shed and eunchae didn't have to wipe them for her.

 

on the other hand, yunjin stumbles over her words. it wasn't that she didn't want to (believe her, she does so much), it was because the idea of being committed to sakura merely reduced her to a blushing mess that she couldn't form a proper, confident response.

 

"w-well... i think it's too early for that-"

 

"and when you do, promise that you won't leave mommy like daddy did." eunchae says, lips pressed tightly in a thin line as she looks up with furrowed brows, small hands balled into fists. 

 

 "daddy is a liar... he never makes mommy happy."

 

only then yunjin realises that eunchae's hands were shaking.

 

and without hesitance, after hearing the vulnerability in eunchae's voice, seeing the way sakura's head hung low, yunjin feels a wave of newfound determination surge in her body. 

 

she swiftly envelops her hands around eunchae's, hoping her warmth would soothe her nerves and eradicate her little trembles. she looks intently into eunchae's hopeful eyes, blazing with determination and yunjin wants nothing more than to completely erase the traces of sadness those dark brown pools held.

 

"it's a promise, eunchae, i promise i'll make your mommy happy. i'll make you happy too, you deserve so much." yunjin brings her hands to cup plump cheeks, caresses them softly with her thumbs in reassurance.

 

when eunchae breaks into a toothy grin and places her soft hands on top of hers, yunjin knew she would gladly walk through hell and back for eunchae — for the two of them — if it meant that gleeful smile would remain etched on their faces for a long time.

 

"pinky super swear?" eunchae brings up two pinkies, to which yunjin follows and curling her own pinkies around eunchae's.

 

"pink super swear!" yunjin beams, shaking their intertwined fingers lightly. sakura, who had been watching from behind eunchae felt her heartstrings continuously being pulled as the two interact, the sight of her yellow — not just one, now two — exchanging smiles was more than enough bliss.

 

"okay! but i warn you, if you make mommy sad, i, miyawaki eunchae, will haunt you in your dreams forever!" 

 

eunchae musters out her angriest face, clawed hands in the air, teeth bared as if to scare yunjin. to eunchae, it must have sounded like a death threat. to yunjin, eunchae looked like the cutest kitten trying to put up an intimidating façade. and yunjin perfectly plays along, shrinking back and squealing in fear as eunchae's melodious giggles filled her ears.

 

                                              *

 

"did she drain you? she can be a little handful."

 

sakura leans on the door frame to eunchae's room, watching the little figure who was fast asleep with fond eyes and a small smile.

 

"not at all, she's so cute and fun to be with." yunjin stood behind her, holding sakura's hand and rubbing circles with her thumb. 

 

"she seems to like you a lot too, that's a first." sakura reveals, closing the door and leaving it slightly ajar.

 

"first? really?" yunjin marvels at the fact, when sakura nods in confirmation, she feels happiness bubbling within her chest.

 

"she's always wary of my acquaintances, especially those romantically interested in me and now that she knows you're my girlfriend, she took it better than i expected." sakura admits, sounding surprised herself. 

 

"so protective of her mother, she's so lovely."

 

"isn't she? she's my world." sakura mumbles, giving eunchae's room one final glance before turning back to look at yunjin.

 

when she does, yunjin's eyes seem to say the same thing. in those bright hazel eyes, they only reflect sakura. 

 

"well, it's getting late, i should go." yunjin gives her hand a final squeeze, realising she had spent her time over longer than expected. 

 

"yunjin..." sakura calls, almost pleading, she takes yunjin's hands in hers and looks up with hesitant eyes. "...stay the night?"

 

so pretty, yunjin thinks. because just as her eyes only reflect sakura, yunjin too, only sees herself in the cherry blossom's doe eyes. 

 

"i want to be with you a little longer." sakura bashfully says, voice just above whisper. 

 

yunjin smiles, insides turning into mush as she takes in the sight of a timid sakura. she presses her lips on the back of sakura's hand, and although no words were said, sakura captured how yunjin's eyes spoke three words over and over again. 

 

they find tranquility on the couch, with only the orange light at the entrance to cast a dim glow late into the night. it's magical how much comfort sakura gained just lying on top of yunjin, letting the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat sing in her ear like a dulcet lullaby. 

 

in that moment, sakura drops all her walls. she tells yunjin everything. her caring touches made it feel less excruciating to share, her occasional reassurances made her feel more at ease. 

 

she tells yunjin she had been scared they would never have worked from the start, tells her she regretted keeping eunchae from her from the start, tells her honestly that she was scared their relationship might end up like her last one. and throughout it all, yunjin listens, holds her close and showers her with kisses and never fails to tell her that it was okay.

 

"feelings don't change within a day, does it? he left us like we were nothing."

 

"he's a ing prick who took your kindness for granted and never loved you from the start."

 

yunjin had her jaw clenched from the moment sakura braved herself to talk about the man who abandoned his responsibilities, the man who induced doubts and self-deprecating thoughts into sakura's head and made her feel lacking when in fact, she was valiant, withstanding through it all.

 

"he's lucky he's forever out of the country or else i would have-"

 

"yunjin, eunchae's asleep." sakura cuts her off gently yet firmly, propping herself up on her elbows. her soft caresses against her cheek was enough to pacify her lover, yunjin's jaw relaxing under her touch.

 

yunjin gives her an apologetic smile, leans into the affection and kisses the palm of sakura's hand.

 

"sorry... i'm just really angry. he didn't even fight for eunchae's custody, what does that tell you?"

 

"that he's a ing prick who took my kindness for granted and never loved me from the start." sakura repeats her words, a playful smile on her lips.

 

yunjin chuckles, amused hearing profanities slipping out of sakura's mouth (my, it was pretty hot), palming the latter's cheeks before bringing her in for a rewarding kiss.

 

"that's my girl."

 

then they let the moment carry itself forward, drowning in each other's presence and letting themselves be mesmerised by each other's gazes. 

 

"don't scare me like how you did at the café anymore, you made it sound like you were okay with losing me deciding something like that so easily." yunjin truthfully admits and she frowns, pursing her lips as she felt her heart squeeze thinking back. 

 

for a split second, she felt her world crumble when those words spilled out of sakura's mouth. even when she knew the cherry blossom didn't mean any of it, and that it was all for the sake of eunchae, for her, yunjin felt her stomach churn in the worst ways.

 

sakura shakes her head instantly at her words, feeling horrible for making yunjin even think like that. her forehead creased, eyes looking deep into hers.

 

"trust me when i said i felt myself breaking at that moment, i never want to lose you... i was just thinking of you. whether you still wanted me-"

 

"then it was up to me to decide. and i've decided that i want this. i want you." 

 

yunjin's hands cradle her face as if she held a priceless pearl that meant the world to her. in those beautiful eyes that carry all her softness and love for her — and for eunchae too, she hopes — sakura wouldn't ask for anything more. everytime she catches yunjin's eyes on her, they never fail to remind her that yes, there's someone who loves you this much. 

 

so sakura sighs in content, refusing to let the tears get the best of her this time and distracting herself by letting her eyes trace yunjin's bonny features. 

 

"don't let me go, yunjin." sakura whispers a plea, tucking her head under yunjin's chin.

 

"never," a smile graces sakura's lips when yunjin replies instantly, the protective arms that wrap around her body felt like a safe haven. 

 

"i'll hold onto you so tight until i imprint myself on you and all you can think of is me." 

 

sakura hums, in love, closing her eyes in content for the first time in so long. she falls asleep in yunjin's warmth, where her worries no longer have a place, only a utopia that contained the three of them.

 

mornings finally feel worth waking up to— embraced within yunjin's arms and eunchae's little sleeping figure ending up on top of them, sakura wishes for more days like these to come.

 

what once were blue mornings, are now painted bright yellow.

 

—