Dating a celebrity can be difficult at times, especially when you have to keep it a secret. Jenny Kim didn’t mind it so much though because she was happy, in love even. Her boyfriend was a singer, famous in many countries. He had recently started filming for a new drama. His schedule was always full and he traveled often. They barely went on dates, most of the time opting to stay at either one’s apartment and spend time together alone, away from the public’s eye.

            DooJoon knew that his packed schedule added stress to their relationship but he couldn’t imagine not being with Jenny. Before he met her, his life revolved around work. He enjoyed his job, he picked it after all. He had worked for years to get to where he was at in his career. One cannot gain fans overnight but one can lose them in that short period of time and he was still trying to balance his girlfriend with his fans. His fans were winning at the moment.

            Jenny always reassured him that things were fine. She understood that life as an idol was tough, but once the two were together nothing else mattered. It was as if they had created separate worlds within their apartments.

            On occasion fans would become suspicious and DooJoon wouldn’t be able to see Jenny. They would spend time talking on the phone in between interviews, recording, filming, and photo shoots.

            “I miss you,” Jenny whispered.

            “I know, I miss you too,” DooJoon replied scanning the room to see if anyone was listening. “I love you,” he added with a smile. Jenny couldn’t see the smile but she always felt the passion in his words. She knew the risk he took to be with her, but she was taking a risk as well.

            “I love you, too,” she said. The words seemed simple to say, almost second nature at this moment. It had taken DooJoon only one month to say them to her. It had taken her nearly four months.

            He had initiated the relationship. She was at a fan signing, waiting eagerly to get his groups autographs. She made her way to him and handed her CD over. He took it from her without really looking at her in the face. He had seen so many girls that day he was too tired to analyze each one that passed by. He always kept a smile on his face and asked their name. Always thanking them for coming and shaking their hand.

            It was when he shook hands with her that it happened. A shock was sent between their fingertips when their hands touched. She laughed lightly and his eyes widened as he looked up to see her face. He smiled more earnestly now, unable to take his eyes off of her. Jenny had shyly looked down, trying to break the handshake but DooJoon kept a tight hold on her hand but not too tight. He wanted to keep looking at her, to talk to her, to tell her she was beautiful, to get to know her. Instead, he finally let go of her hand and flipped to the back page of the photo booklet writing his number there and a short message.

            When DooJoon was away or Jenny missed him for any reason she would pull out the cover booklet of the CD and reread the message. It always made her smile.

            When she saw it for the first time, it took all of her courage to pick up the phone and call him, but thinking about it now she’s glad she did. He was glad she did as well. Their relationship started off as long phone calls. That’s how they got to know each other. It was disconcerting to have an almost stranger know most of your secrets, but both felt safe talking to the other.

            Their first date wasn’t until three weeks into the relationship. They went to simple restaurant outside of town to make sure no one noticed DooJoon. The meal was simple, the atmosphere was warm, and their smiles at one another completed the perfect picture of a new couple.

            “Oh...to be young and in love,” the old waitress said picking up their empty plates as they remained at the table talking. They simply blushed and looked at one another. The ahjumma came back with a large piece of cake and said, “Desserts free,” giving them a knowing wink. There was only one fork on the table and DooJoon decided to feed Jenny instead of asking for another one. She was shy about it at first, but he insisted.

            “It’s delicious,” she said her lips. DooJoon noticed every movement. How she covered with a napkin before she spoke to make sure she had no food on . He noticed how she had the habit of pulling her hair behind her ear only to have it fall again. It didn’t seem to bother her, it was more like a learned dance that was a between her and her hair.

            DooJoon ate a piece of cake and nodded in agreement. There wasn’t much conversation during dessert, but it wasn’t awkward. It was the start of the bubble world they had created for themselves. The one in which DooJoon wasn’t famous and it didn’t matter that Jenny was still in school working to get by. The one where they began to fit together, learning each other’s moves.

            Jenny noticed that DooJoon smiled more when he was nervous. He would lace his fingers together and twiddle his thumbs when he wanted to say something but fought against it. She never rushed him though, knowing he would say it eventually if he wanted to. It didn’t bother her.

            After dinner, they had taken a walk through town. It wasn’t as crowded because it wasn’t in the big city. Most of the people on the streets were too wrapped up in the thought of getting somewhere warm that they didn’t notice the young couple on their first date.

            Jenny had forgotten her gloves that night and was constantly breathing hot air on her hands to keep them warm. DooJoon noticed giving her his own mittens. She smiled at the gesture. After helping her put them on he kept hold of her right hand, continuing on their walk. She blushed looking at the ground, unable to fight the grin that appeared on her face.

            They had already gotten all of the first date small talk out of the way during their previous phone conversations. They already knew about each other’s family, past relationships, jobs, thoughts of their current relationship, all the basics. There was one thought that Jenny hadn’t been able to ask DooJoon on the phone and she had decided to ask him in person. She was just waiting for the right time.

            They passed a bright display of children’s toys. It was a small toy store and Jenny stopped interested in the small puppy stuffed animal lying on its stomach giving her big puppy-dog eyes. She thought it was cute considering it was her favorite animal. DooJoon only looked from Jenny to the display wondering what was on her mind.

            Without looking at him she finally asked the question that had been on her mind since the fan signing. “Why me?”

            DooJoon was caught off guard, confused about what she was asking. “What do you mean?” he asked raising his eyebrow.

            “Of all the people, all the fans, all the girls…why did you choose me? Why did you single me out?” she wondered aloud. “I’m just curious.”

            He sighed shaking his head a smile taking over his face. “I’m not sure myself,” he answered shrugging. She frowned a little. It wasn’t exactly the answer she was looking for.

            “Have you ever done this before?” she asked. “I mean given your number out to a fan.”

            This time he had a definite answer. “No, never,” he told her turning to look her in the eye. “You are the first and only fan I have ever approached that way.”

            “Really,” she said trying to hide her surprise. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, she just couldn’t figure out why it was her he chose. He had the option of thousands of girls to choose from and he singled her out.

            DooJoon could tell she was questioning herself and her worthiness of him. She just didn’t have a clear view of herself, not the way he saw her in his eyes. He had an answer as to why he chose to give her his number, but he wasn’t ready to share it with her. He wasn’t ready to get into the sentimental stuff like that just yet. He couldn’t imagine telling her it was her eyes that drew him in, along with the way she smiled at him and the way her hand felt in his. It had been different than every other girl he had met. There was that spark that sent chills up his spine the first time they touched, and every time they had brushed against one another during this date. He knew she would think he was being cheesy and he wanted her to understand exactly how he felt the moment he saw her.

            She went back to looking at the display. He asked if she wanted to go in but she shook her head, saying they should just continue walking. He took note of the store name and what she was looking at.

            They found their way to a small fountain lit up by a few lights, surrounded by trees. It looked like the perfect place for a couple to hide themselves from the rest of the world. DooJoon and Jenny took a seat in silence and watched a few people passing by. Their shoulders brush creating a nice warmth between them on that cold night. They would glance towards one another and look away quickly after making eye contact. Eventually, DooJoon held her gaze. He didn’t want to look away from those eyes that had enchanted him at their first meeting.

            She tried to look away but he caught her cheek in his warm palm. She tensed for a second, only able to look down. He moved his hand to tuck her hair behind her ear as she normally did, joining into the dance between them. A faint smile crept across her lips. She could feel him moving in slowly towards her. She didn’t dare look up or it would break her nerve. Their lips finally met. He kissed her cautiously waiting for a response. She smiled wider and returned the favor. It wasn’t a long kiss but it was enough to make their cheeks flush hotly and sigh afterwards.

            DooJoon only broke the kiss, unwilling to pull away from Jenny. He allowed their foreheads to touch breathing in one another’s breath. They both had their eyes closed for a moment, enjoying the beauty of being together, being this close. DooJoon’s hand eventually fell from her face and moved to hold her hand. They leaned back from one another, looking into each other’s eyes glossy from the shine of the lights in the fountain, remembering this moment forever. Jenny hadn’t expected to feel this comfortable around him and reveled in it. It had been a perfect ending to their first date.

            It’s those moments and memories that keep their relationship strong. They may not have a lot of time together but when they do it counts more than anything. Their relationship had been full of these perfect moments, but recently they had been clouded over by stress. Jenny was facing finals and work while DooJoon was busy with constant schedules.

            Their phone calls were getting shorter. Jenny knew DooJoon needed his rest and was always understanding of only having a small time to be with him, but she wanted to be comforted. She wanted to hear his voice, letting her know life didn’t as much as she thought. She wanted him to make her smile again. DooJoon needed the same from Jenny as well, but it seemed her need was overpowering his at the moment. Both wanted reassurance, but weren’t able to give it to the other.

            It was a photo shoot that pushed Jenny over the line. DooJoon had always told her about his jobs and work. He always kept her in the know so that she wouldn’t be surprised by anything his job entitled him to do. He had let her know ahead of time about the kissing scene in his drama. She was prepared for that. She knew he was only acting when she saw it. It didn’t faze her because she could tell he wasn’t into the kiss. It was all fake.

            This time was different. He hadn’t warned her. She was surfing the internet when she saw a headline that caught her eye. It had DooJoon’s name in it and something about modeling for a big name magazine. She hadn’t heard him mention this photo shoot and became interested in the article. Clicking on the link brought her to a page of writing and many pictures. The biggest photo was of DooJoon sitting across from a topless woman in a bathtub. The shock made her gasp. She couldn’t take her eyes off the screen. As much as it hurt to see the unknown picture, she just couldn’t help but stare. This wasn’t all either. She scrolled down the page only to find more similar to the first. There were also ones that involved kissing. He was actually kissing her. First the half- bathtub scene and now kissing, she couldn’t take it anymore. She closed the window immediately covering her eyes.

            It took a lot for her not to cry. So many thoughts ran through her mind. Why hadn’t he mentioned it? Maybe he didn’t think it was a big deal? Maybe he just forgot? Her questions took a turn for the worse. Maybe he wanted to hide it from her? Did he think it was okay not to tell her? Was he keeping something from her? Why was he kissing her? Why did she have to be half-?

            She rubbed her fingers in circular motions on her temples to expel the images from her head. She picked up the phone to call him but only received his voicemail. She called again, the same. This time she left a message saying, “We need to talk, in person, now.”

            DooJoon had been filming at the time of the call and received it some hours later. During that time, Jenny fumed about the photo shoot. It was constantly on her mind. DooJoon saw that she had called a few times and quickly listened to the message. The tone in her voice made him worry. In the year they had been together, he had never heard her speak this way. Instead of calling back, he decided to visit her. It took some maneuvering to get away from his manager and sneak out undetected.

            When he made it to her place, she opened the door with a scowl on her face. She looked as if she had been crying for sometime. He immediately entered trying to hug her asking what’s wrong. She pushed him away saying, “Like you don’t know.”

            The truth is he didn’t know. He scrunched his face in confusion and worry. Had he done something he was unaware of? Why was she suddenly so angry with him? He approached her again, but she moved away and walked into her living room. He simply followed.

            It was silent for a while. DooJoon waited for Jenny to speak. He didn’t want to say anything to upset her further, but he was dying to know what was wrong. When she spoke it was in broken, angry sobs. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

            He was still confused. Unsure of how to answer her he kept silent. She questioned again. “Is there something you are hiding from me?”

            This time he spoke asking innocently, “What would I have to hide from you?”

            “Like you don’t know,” she countered.

            “I really don’t know what you are talking about,” he said trying to remain calm. “Please tell me what I did to make you so upset. Is it because I haven’t been able to call or see you as much lately?”

            “And why exactly have you been so busy? Your schedule has always been full, but you never had trouble talking to me or seeing me before.” By this time her mind had created many scenarios of him with this girl. She had created a relationship between them. She had given them the perfect world that she thought DooJoon and her had once shared.

            He stood frozen by her words. She had always been so calm and caring. He had never seen her so upset. He didn’t know how to respond to her outburst of emotion. DooJoon wasn’t even sure why she was upset. They stood staring at one another for a minute. She was expecting me to say something but he couldn’t find the right words.

            Eventually he said, “I’m sorry,” trying to make sense of her anger. “My schedule has been hectic lately and I’m just so exhausted that I pass out in my free time. I didn’t mean to neglect you if that’s what you think.”

            “Who’s the girl you are seeing? Who is keeping you away from me?” she asked suddenly.

            DooJoon was dumbstruck, trying to figure out where she had come up with this conclusion. “I’m not seeing anyone else. I would never cheat on you,” he explained sincerely, instinctively moving towards her. He wanted to comfort her but she moved away.

            Walking over to the computer screen she clicked on the window revealing the pictures from his scandalous photo shoot. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” she nearly yelled at him in frustration. She couldn’t believe he was standing in front of her dumbstruck.

            So this is what she is upset about, he thought. I hadn’t realized I had forgot to tell her about the photo shoot. Everything had been done in a rush. I was barely sleeping these days and it had slipped my mind. I now understood why she was so upset. What girlfriend wouldn’t be upset seeing her boyfriend all over another girl?

            DooJoon stepped towards her reaching for her arm. She moved away saying, “Don’t!” He took another step forward still reaching. She moved away again. He finally closed the gap between them and pulled her into a tight hug. She fought at first trying to push him away but he was stronger and he didn’t want to let her go, at least not any time soon. He leaned down whispering in her ear, “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you.”

            She paused in her struggle, waiting for him to speak again. “There is nothing going on between her and I,” he explained. “If anything the entire shoot was awkward and I thought of nothing but you. I should have told you about it before. It just slipped my mind.” He was still whispering as if he only wanted her to hear him.

            She began sobbing and tried to push away again. He loosened his grip enough to face her. “Really?” Jenny asked.

            DooJoon sighed giving her the grin he knew she loved. “Really,” he said nodding. “How could you think I was cheating on you? Don’t you realize how much I love you? I wasn’t lying when I told you I could only see you as the girl for me.” He moved his left hand from her waist and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

            “I guess I have been too stressed out lately and overreacted,” she finally said in a throaty voice, hoarse from crying.

            DooJoon shook his head, “I should have been here for you. I was only thinking of myself recently. I know how much you sacrifice to be in a relationship with me.”

            This brought a smile to Jenny’s face. She shook her head, “It’s not sacrifice when I love you.”

            DooJoon smiled, bringing his right hand up to tuck her hair behind her left ear. The dance of hers that he had grown accustomed to interrupting. He kept his hand on her neck leaning in to gently kiss her forehead. She smiled closing her eyes. “Do you forgive me?” he asked leaning back after the kiss.

            She cupped his cheek with her hand, and slowly moved it to his neck pulling him down towards her. “Only if you forgive me for being silly.” They answered each other with a kiss. At first it was light and then it became more passionate. They released all the stress that had building up recently in that kiss. The tension in their relationship was gone. It was back to that perfect world they had created. It took a while for them to pull apart. Neither wanting to break kiss that was linking them together, but their need for air was overwhelming.

            DooJoon stayed with Jenny for hours, holding her on the couch, whispering to each other. The conversation was random and died down at times, but the fact that they could be together, even for just that small amount of time was enough for them. It was what they needed. All their worries faded and were replaced by the warmth of their love’s body.

            Jenny leaned her head on DooJoon’s chest hugging him tightly. He looked across the room to notice two important artifacts from their relationship. One was the stuffed puppy doll that he noticed her staring at on their first date and the other was her signed CD from the first time they met. It contained his signature and phone number along with a message he used to be embarrassed about having written. He still couldn’t believe he had the nerve to write it, but he was glad he did.

            It said, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

 

 

 

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