To live for the hope of it all

 'August' - Taylor Swift

Nineteen years gone and an unknown number to come. 

She's been repeating that phrase to herself everyday for the past month, ever since she turned twenty. She had a lot to look back on, and that felt solid, it grounded her when she became overwhelmed about the future and what might happen in it. She survived nineteen years on this earth. It happened, and she remembers it, and she has lived and is living it, so that means that the crushing weight has not gotten her yet. 

​​​​​​Tomorrow it will be summer, and college will cease until next term, and she will wonder aimlessly around Seoul because she doesn't want to go home. Eventually, she will take the relatively long train ride from Seoul to Busan, and she will see her family for the first time since winter break. And everyday that she spends with them she will spend biting her nails and tapping her foot, waiting for everything to explode. 

But, today is different, and today she has lived nineteen years and twenty-eight days, and she has to have something to show for it by the end of the day. 

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