Months ago, if you would ask Minjeong, she would definitely say no. She would say "No, I don't want to be friends with my ex." and you would dismiss the topic because she wouldn't even spare a glance if you insisted.

 

Not that she doesn't really want to.

 

Jimin was so good at making her happy and Minjeong knew that being friends with her will be very fun. Yet the thing is she can't…

 

You don't look at your friend like you would give up the world for them.

 

The break up was painful for Minjeong, but she wasn't miserable. Their relationship was kind of different from the others. They weren't really sweet, and they wouldn't mind if they did not talk everyday. They bickered a lot and weren't that clingy, touchy yes but not clingy. Even their friends find it funny that they were indeed in a relationship.

 

But what they had wasn't really shallow for Minjeong nor for Jimin. They knew they were each other's number one.

 

It's just that, at those moments, they couldn't voice out the change they both have been craving for. They were afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone — the type of relationship they had ever since — and it had hurt the both of them. Fighting instead of actually addressing their thoughts, and continuing their old ways of not talking for days when they have a problem.

 

Months ago, Minjeong blamed both Jimin and herself. She blamed Jimin for not minding if they stay the way they have always been forever. And herself, for thinking that it just wouldn't work anymore if they refuse to change. She blamed Jimin for agreeing with her, for not using the side of herself that persists whatever she wants. And she blamed herself — still blaming herself — for thinking that maybe they really aren't meant to be more than best friends.

 

"Hey."

 

But that was months ago. And it turns out, she was indeed wrong. Wrong for thinking that Jimin is just meant to be her best friend.

 

"Hey, Jimin." Minjeong greets, almost breathless, and she hopes Jimin doesn't notice, which is impossible because the older girl notices everything about her.

 

"You ready?" Jimin asks.

 

"Yeah. Are you sure you're not tired?"

 

"Tired isn't on my vocab. Come on, let's go! We still have time for a movie." The taller girl beams, casually intertwining their hands.

 

Like it was the most normal thing to do.

 

Minjeong wanted to say how much she missed Jimin.

 

It's been months since they last talked. Months since they told each other to stay friends, but neither of them initiated a talk after.

 

It's been months until Minjeong received a notification on her instagram. "Wanna bike? I'm bored and not yet sleepy. I feel like eating some burgers too! 😩"

 

"I missed you." Minjeong wasn't really shocked that she said that out loud though. She is even glad that she did.

 

"I miss you too, Minjeongie." Jimin responds, voice softer than the softest she’s ever done that Minjeong could ever remember, and god, does she miss hearing those words from Jimin.

 

"Jimin, are we good?"

 

"Let me buy you food and we're good."

 

Minjeong wanted to cry. All these years, Jimin had always taken care of her. They weren't really vocal but Jimin always knew what she needed and was always ready to give it to her. She makes sure that Minjeong is smiling and even if Jimin's goal is to annoy her at least once a day, the girl has never been really annoying to her.

 

Jimin is so good at making her happy. And Minjeong wishes that she can do the same for her.

 

"Your gears are turning, stop that. You'll get tired easily. Come on, it's just a yes or no, Mindoongie."

 

"I want y— yeah… a cheeseburger. With pickles please."

 

"Gross." Jimin makes a face, but still tightens her grip on Minjeong's hand.

 

Jimin didn't let go. And Minjeong admits, she wasn't really focusing on the path but on their intertwined fingers.

 

She used to rarely hold Jimin's hand like this. Most times it's just their pinkies locking, or one of them playing with the other's fingers, or Jimin gripping her wrist, or Minjeong mindlessly placing her hand above Jimin's.

 

Times when she held Jimin's hand like this, were also the times when she was the one who released first from the grip.

 

"Don't you want a burger anymore?"

 

"Huh?"

 

That's when Minjeong realized that she was clutching more tightly and had pulled Jimin to stop from walking.

 

"Hey, we can go home if you aren't feeling well." Jimin suggests, stepping closer.

 

Minjeong feels tightening as Jimin continues to gently rub her thumb on the back of her hand. She could see the worry in the girl's eyes and it only added to the stabbing pain she's been feeling in her chest.

 

"Jimin… I'm sorry— I—" Minjeong spills the words the same time her eyes do with the tears.

 

They sat on a nearby bench, and Jimin let her cry, asked her what’s wrong, yet didn't force her to answer. She just sat there beside her, holding Minjeong’s hand, drawing soothing circles at the back of it.

 

Minjeong wanted to hug her but she knows the both of them are stopping themselves.

 

When she was able to calm down, Jimin waited as she wiped her own tears, then gently pulled her up, silently walking towards a nearby food truck.

 

“I’m with Jimin right now.”