“Jessi?” A voice, for the first time in almost two days. “What’s wrong?” Even when blinded by the dark, that voice is filled with concern. “I..miss you,” the other girl sniffles, her voice barely above a whisper. “Me too,” her sister’s voice is soft over the loud whirring of the fan in the phone, but it speaks over the voices haunting her in the dark. “Hey, don’t cry, silly. I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” The voice grows a little stronger, but breaks little by little. You won’t see me, anyways. I’ll be no more. “Kel…I am not home,” she says instead, quietly, half hoping that her sister wouldn’t pick up her words, but half hoping that her sister would understand what was going on. “What?” A jolt of alarm runs through her. She had imagined her little sister curled up in her bed, face buried in a pillow. She had imagined that they both were safe. “Where’s Katy?” She doesn’t care about you, . You should leave her hanging right here forever. You should let her panic, you should teach her the true definition of alone. But she stays silent, her hands shaking, too numb with cold and fear to hang up on the only person left in her world. “Are you okay, Jess?” Kelly’s voice, though filled with warmth and love, was nothing when compared with the chilly sea breeze and the thrill of jumping off this cliff. You only want me when I’m okay. That’s as good as never. A “no” slips out of her lips before she could push it down, down to the abyss of what was left of her, the rotten flesh and brittle bones.

 “Where are you?”

 “I don’t want to tell you.”

“Jess, why did you call me then?”

“Because…I…” 

Because I wanted someone to stop me.

Because I want to know that you have yet to learn to hate me.

Because I have nothing else.

“I love you, honey.”

You don’t.

“Please tell me what I can do for you”

You can’t.

“Jess, are you there?”

Never was.

“Kelly, I’m sorry that I called you. Don’t worry, okay?”

The girl lies through her teeth, knowing how well her sister could see each crack, every drip.

“Jessi, are you thinking of hurting yourself?”

There it was, the ugly truth shoved into the light without a flinch, maybe she got used to her ugly sister already.

“No”

No, I know you don’t care.

“Jess, please tell me. You called me for a reason, didn’t you?”

You are scared that you would lose me, is that right? You are scared that you would lose the someone who messed up even more than you 

“I love you, Kel.”

I love you, but I hate myself more.

“Jessica, if you aren’t going to tell me where you are, I’m calling the police.”

What can they even do? You are just scared of me and all my scars, aren’t you?

“So you are just going to hang up on me?”

Giving me a perfect chance to kill myself, huh?

“Honey, I love you, okay? I just want to give you a hug. You’re my everything, Jessi.”

I don’t need a hug, I don’t have a heart.

How can nothing be your everything, stupid?

“I know.”

I know the truth.

“Jess? Tell me where you are;I won’t tell anyone else.”

Huh, wonder who it was who got into the way of Katy’s death two whole times, third time's the charm, and one is way more than enough.

“I am scared.”

I am scared of letting go, knowing everything you own.

“You have every right to be, Jess. I wish I was there with you.”

You won’t. I won’t want you to watch this stupid game of catch with your own heart.

“I don’t know what to do.”

I don’t know what I want to do, all I know are those things you forced me to do you want me to do.

“Tell me where you are, okay? All I want is for you to be okay. I’m scared too, honey, for you.”

Of you.

“I don’t know where I am”

I don’t know what I am, and why I am either.

“How did you even get here?”

You aren’t “here” with me, you are there, and that is the only reason why I dared.

“Can I just send you my location?”

You sound like a whiny brat. Look at you caving in, look at you revolving back into your useless self, your pathetic world, and your ruined body.

“Love you, I’ll be there soon, okay?”

You throw around your “love you” just as well as how the whole world flings their hate at me.