Our First Date

It had been six months since Kyuhyun had confessed to Yesung and had those feelings reciprocated. It was not easy in the beginning, but slowly they had settled into a bit of a rhythm so to say. Kyuhyun was over the moon, filled with endless joy, yet he knew he had to act. It had been six months already, yet they had not even been on a first date. What sort of relationship were they trying to foster, where they had not even been on a date? Kyuhyun would admit that it was mainly his fault. He was always so content just being near Yesung that he had not really ever taken the initiative to try and push the relationship forward. He was more than pleased just to have Yesung stand beside him, so the fact that Yesung had returned his love was like a thunder storm in the dessert. He was always hesitant to push it, always wanted to just be grateful, to enjoy the moment. Yesung loved him, shouldn’t that be enough? He would swear up, down and sideways that it was, yet he couldn’t help wonder what they were doing. Kyuhyun knew they were in a rather strange, undefined circumstance. He knew that the attraction was slow in coming, that Yesung still felt uncomfortable, Hell! Even he still felt uncomfortable. He supposed that was the price you paid when generally straight men fell in love with each other. He did not regret it, he would never regret it. He would go to his grave proclaiming that Yesung’s tiny fingers wrapped around his much larger ones was the best feeling he had ever experienced.

Kyuhyun knew he should just be grateful, but still he couldn’t help wonder about their relationship. They had yet to give it a name. He knew in the back of his mind he really and truly just wanted to be Yesung’s, and for Yesung to his. He did not really care what they called each other or what everyone else called them, just being each other’s other half would always be enough. He was fine really, with their undefined status, till he saw other people dating. He supposed that reason they never dated, aside from the lack of time and the inability to go out in public, the avoidance came from fear in a way. The second they started dating so to say, they would be forced to put a name to it. The prospect scared him a little bit. He did not think either was ready for that sort of thing. It was hard work coming to an understanding about their relationship with each other. In the beginning they both thought the relationship would just develop and in all fairness it had progressed in its own way, yet the awkwardness and the unwillingness to define themselves had continued. Kyuhyun was happy that they could be together, but in a way he was curious about what they were exactly. He supposed he could just talk to Yesung about it, but was currently thinking more about action .If he wanted some progress, he had to take the first step. He had to be willing to extend his hand and throw it out there. It was decided. He was going to ask Yesung out on a date.

Kyuhyun was determined, his mind was set. He was going to be the brave one. In a way he knew he was being dramatic. He and Yesung already spent a significantly large amount of time together, so he was not worried about Yesung agreeing to spend time with him. He was sure the older man enjoyed his presence as much as he enjoyed his presence. He was a little concerned about Yesung agreeing to a date though. It was one thing to spend time together as a part of their very existence, another to actually call it a date. If he was to be honest, he would also admit that he was hesitant to even ask. He was trying to change a comfortable status quo and he was not sure if they were ready. He was worried that he was forcing it. He wondered if he should just let it progress naturally, but at the same time he was concerned about the status of their relationship. He found it particular that they did not have a name. In his heart he would always just think of Yesung as his, but on the surface, he wanted to know why they did not have a name. The date was meant to change that. It was meant to give them some direction. He was confusing himself. ‘What do you really want?’ his mind tried to guide him. He thought about it for a second and decided that he wanted to spend time with Yesung. ’Why do you need a date then?’ He needed a date because people in relationships dated and he wanted them to have a relationship. ‘Do you need to date to have a relationship?’ He was not sure, but he supposed that people did. He was not saying he wanted Yesung to be his boyfriend- even thinking it felt weird, but he wanted to have a defined relationship. Yes that was what he wanted .He wanted a defined relationship.

With that issue settled he set out to find Yesung. It was Thursday night, so his schedules wouldn’t have been particularly full. He was probably home already. Kyuhyun exited his room with his new found agenda high in his mind, his intended destination Yesung’s room. He was detoured mid journey when he heard a loud bubbly laughter flowing over from the Living Room. He smiled. Yesung was definitely not in his room then. His smile well plastered on his face, he headed to the Living room, only to have it comically removed. Apparently the cause of such happy laughter was none other than Siwon. Currently he and Yesung were sitting on the couch rather comfortable, with Yesung’s head thrown back in mirth and Siwon with that weird face of his, in some sort of expression of shock. Okay! Kyuhyun could concede that Siwon’s face wasn’t weird, but he still rather not see it. ‘Won’t you ever grow you and just let it be?’ his mind rebuked.

Kyuhyun knew he was being irrational, still harbouring his distaste for the older man. He would simply argue that the stripping incident in Singapore still gave him nightmares. He would say that it was not really jealousy, as he was well aware that Yesung loved him and only him, as well as the fact Siwon did not harbour those sorts of feelings for Yesung. He knew he should actually feel guilty for always having ill thoughts about the kind man, especially since he was aware that Siwon had been supportive of the relationship and continued to be so. Kyuhyun supposed what upset him was the fact that Siwon was only supportive because it was Yesung’s happiness involved. He did it all for Yesung. He supposed he was just off put or ruffled by the fact that Yesung was so close to someone other than himself. If he was to be honest, he would admit that under all the distaste that seem to bubble up whenever he saw him with Yesung, Kyuhyun at his heart still loved and respected the man. He just wished he would spend less time touching Yesung or better yet less time near Yesung period. That way he would not have these mean thoughts that would later make him feel guilty. He had never disclosed these feelings to Yesung though. He felt them but he knew they were just the result of his possessive nature and did not want to burden Yesung with them. He knew Yesung truly valued Siwon and he would always respect that. It did not mean he had to like it though. He would have to do what he always did, swallow the ill thoughts and glare slightly at Siwon till he left. He knew it was not right, but he would still do it. He would always just blame love. It always just made you irrational. ‘It’s not love’s fault that you are childish and petty’ his mind chuckled. He would disagree but he suspected his mind was right. It was rather childish, but Yesung was his, why couldn’t Siwon understand that? Huh?

“Hyung” Kyuhyun called out interrupting the moment. Siwon shook his, knowing full well what was to come. Kyuhyun was oddly always glaring at him covertly. It was never out right but Siwon could feel it. At first he was confused as to why the maknae was acting like that, but when he found out about the relationship it started to make sense. Siwon found no pleasure in being glared at or have all his time interrupted by a petty Kyuhyun but in a way still found it cute. Kyuhyun had never been hostile and did not seem to affect Yesung, so Siwon was willing to allow it to happen. Sometimes he would actually enjoy the maknae’s sneaky attempts to get rid of him, but sometime he did find it a bit annoying. He had been away for a little while and missed Yesung. He really wanted to hear the stories about the things one of his favourite hyungs found amusing. He supposed he could just wait till Kyuhyun decided to play his games or whenever he had a schedule with Yesung. He was always comforted even in his annoyance that the maknae’s irrational possessive nature was probably just a result of his love and that pleased him.

“Kyu ah. Come. I was just telling Siwon about what Kkoming did yesterday” Yesung invited Kyuhyun warmly, once again missing the looks Kyuhyun would throw in Siwon’s direction before smiling at him fondly, as well as Siwon shaking his head hiding a smile of amusement.

“Oh really? I hope you weren’t taking up too much of Siwon hyung’s time. He may be tired from his trip” Kyuhyun advised suggestively. He was sure Yesung would take the bait. He did not have to wait long to see Yesung turn in Siwon’s direction this time no longer smiling but looking at him with care. Such looks to Siwon, gave Kyuhyun no pleasure but it was just collateral damage. He would endure. ’You are a sly little devil’ his mind praised.

“That’s right. Why did you let me keep you? You should have gone home and get some sleep. I am sorry. You should go home and rest ” Yesung smiled at Siwon apologetically, voice now a little regretful. Siwon had the urge to sigh but resisted. He supposed the maknae had won again, even if it was not a game. Kyuhyun was just too sneaky and Siwon really did not want to make Yesung unhappy. Whilst he was disappointed to cut their time short, it was better to just leave it than to play this little game with Kyuhyun. At least he comforted himself with the thought that it probably meant that the maknae wanted Yesung’s attention and as such Yesung would not be alone.

“I should. Thank you for telling me about Kkoming. I will talk to you later” Siwon said as brightly as he could, wanting to appease the older but apparently innocently oblivious man. Yesung smiled at him fondly and he supposed that would have to be enough. He got up, smiled at Yesung one more time before heading in Kyuhyun’s direction. As he passed by he would utter teasingly “Sneaky as always”, just loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear, only to have the younger smirk in response, not a bit of shame for his action, accompanied by a cheerful “Goodbye Hyung”.

Kyuhyun made his way over to Yesung with a happy smile. He had succeeded rather easily today and was not feeling that guilty, as Siwon did not seem to mine very much today. These thoughts though were pushed the side when he remembered his reason for wanting to find Yesung, well other than the fact that he always wanted to find Yesung. He had thought long and hard about this and felt it was the right thing to do. It was something they at least had to try and well he was almost positive Yesung would say yes. Almost positive. It would be weird no doubt, but he hoped that Yesung would atleast give it a try. He felt nervous and awkward but if he could confess to a band mate, a hyung who was a man then he could more than ask about a date couldn’t he?

“Kyu ah, did you have a good day? I haven’t seen you since last night” Yesung greeted him happily and once he was close enough,reaching out his small hands to hold his wrist bringing Kyuhyun to sit next to him in the spot Siwon had left bear. He had not seen Kyuhyun in a while, with him having late and then early schedules. They were very attached to each other but had yet to develop that habit of keeping constant tabs on each other. He just settled himself with waiting till he was free to see his Kyuhyunnie, despite that little longing he always felt. He was mature enough to know that they still needed individual space and freedom. It was not as if they would go long without each other anyway, they did work and live together after all.

“Hyung will you go on a date with me?” Kyuhyun ignored the question posed to him, instead allowing his brash attitude to guide him.  It was the only thing that would help him defeat the shyness he often felt when dealing with things like this and Yesung. He needed to ask Yesung and if he allowed small talk he would allow himself to let it go.

“A date?” Yesung echoed, looking at the maknae for confirmation. Kyuhyun realized that his eyes were slightly wide and his voice a little hesitant but not exactly negative in his demeanour. Kyuhyun just nodded his head, forgoing the opportunity to respond.

“Sure I guess” Yesung’s qualified response was not very encouraging concerning his mindset but atleast he had agreed, which still pleased Kyuhyun.

“I checked. I think we should both have the afternoon off on Saturday, if they don’t alter the schedules” Kyuhyun informed Yesung efficiently, hoping to convince the still unsure man that they could actually do this. Yesung just nodded his head, smiling at Kyuhyun, though Kyuhyun could till it was a little forced.

“I can plan something then, but probably not in Seoul” Yesung looked at Kyuhyun eyes portraying mixed emotions, suggestion yet that tiny of hesitance. Kyuhyun hoped that Yesung would be more enthusiastic about the whole thing, but he understood that it was weird for him and was willing to let Yesung work his way through it.

“No I will do it. Just be ready on Saturday” Kyuhyun instructed with a smile. He was really going to try his best for the whole date thing and just wanted to go along with it. Yesung looked at him oddly but nodded his head, a small smile playing on his lips. Kyuhyun knew that Yesung had doubts but was hoping he could change his mind, smiling fondly at the man, who in return smiled brightly at him, though they both wore light blushes. He guessed they would always be sort of shy about things like that.

“Now come help me wash the dishes .I promised Ryeowook I would do it for him” Kyuhyun instructed with a smile, lifting himself from the couch, stretching his hand out to pull Yesung up as well. Yesung himself did not look to keen on the idea.

“Why must I help? You are the one that decided to pretend you are kind” Yesung protested, yet still allowed himself to be pulled gently from his seated position and gave no real struggle as he was being led to the kitchen by the maknae.

“Because you love being with me and I am not that kind. Ryeowookie owes me” Kyuhyun informed with a smirk, voice playful and smug. He and Ryeowook were great friends but he was not exactly the chore doing type, so if Ryeowook wanted his assistance in that department he would have to be willing to be in debt. Kyuhyun however was now looking at it more favourably, considering that Yesung would be there with him.

“You lazy brat” Yesung chuckled, smacking Kyuhyun on the back with the hand that was not being held by the maknae, leading him to the kitchen. Kyuhyun chuckled as well. He was right, he would love doing chores now.

Kyuhyun spent the next hour washing dishes that should have taken him fifteen minutes to wash. He kept playing with the soapy bubbles, only to be scolded by Yesung, which would lead to inevitable playful fights and poking rampages, only to be scolded once again for his idleness, which meant he would want revenge and poor Yesung would be poked mercilessly, lamenting the fact that the maknae was well aware that he was ticklish. This continued for a while until Yesung surrendered and order Kyuhyun to sit at the table whilst he washed the dishes, stating that they would never finish if Kyuhyun was involved in the process. Kyuhyun did not dispute this fact, just happy to sit and watch Yesung’s expression as he concentrated on washing the dishes. Kyuhyun found it hilarious, how serious he would treat the task. In all Kyuhyun was just happy to spend the time playing with his Yesung hyung.

Kyuhyun spend Friday trying his best to plan an amazing date. It was so hard he could not believe it. They were limited in almost every possible way. They couldn’t go to an amusement as they only had the afternoon free, which was also the peak period of amusement park activity. There was not viable way for them to go together and not be spotted. Even if they wore disguises, people would still comment that they resembled themselves.  He was also reluctant to make Yesung wear a disguise whilst on a date. These same problems seem to apply in almost every situation. They could go watch a movie but they did that all the time and he would rather watch one when he could rest his head on Yesung’s shoulder without panicking about pictures being taken. All of his problems applied to everything that occurred outside in Seoul. Then he had an idea. They could probably leave the city and try something low key. What did people normally do on dates? He saw this in a drama once. It could work for both of them. It was something date like he supposed. That was settled then. That was he was going to do. He then needed to figure out how the date was actually going to proceed. He supposed he could treat it like ha had treated his dates before. It couldn’t be that much different could it?

When Saturday finally came Kyuhyun was really nervous. He did not know if what he planned would be sufficient, if Yesung would like it. He was even more confused about the way he should act. He thought about his previous dates. He wondered if that would work? He was too nervous to really consider what was appropriate. He needed comfort, he needed stability, he needed a pattern. Kyuhyun was a logical person. If that had worked before, why wouldn’t it be appropriate now? With those thoughts swirling in his mind he was ready. He had decided that he would pick up Yesung at SM building so that they could get an extra  early start. He hoped with all his might that things would work out.

“ Are you ready?” Kyuhyun asked Yesung when he arrived at the recording studio. Yesung had some work to on one of the demo versions of a new song in the works. Kyuhyun had decided to meet him up at the office. Yesung was at the time packing his things, but smiled when he saw him, nodding his head. Kyuhyun grabbed his bag and walked on ahead, choosing to do so, so he could give himself time to calm his unexpected nerves. Really he was being rather ridiculous. It was Yesung, someone that already loved him. He needed to relax. He was so caught up in calming himself that he did not notice they had reached the garage or that Yesung was still behind him. Well this was going well wasn’t it?

“These are for you” Yesung said drawing Kyuhyun out of his thoughts, handing him flowers? Was that really flowers? Why on earth was Yesung giving him flowers, Kyuhyun could not understand. Better yet when did he even get the chance to get him flowers? Yesung looked away, and Kyuhyun would just smile confused. Maybe Yesung was being his usual random self. Kyuhyun wondered if Yesung thought he liked flowers. He was just confused really, but chose to let it go. He had enough things to worry about as it was.

“Thanks. You look pretty” Kyuhyun answered stupidly. The minute he said it he realized how stupid that was too actually say, judging by the look that Yesung was giving him, currently filled with mild disbelief and general discomfort. Really what was happening to him?

“We can take my car, its right over there. I could drive” Yesung suggested, realizing that for the first time they had fallen into an uncomfortable silence. Kyuhyun looked a little out of it, perhaps still wondering what possessed him to call Yesung pretty.

“No we can just use mine. I rather drive” Kyuhyun finally decided, looking at Yesung for confirmation. Yesung for his part had that now constant hesitant look in his eyes but nodded his head indicating his agreement. Kyuhyun smiled at him and Yesung smiled in return, this time without hesitance.

Kyuhyun nodded his head in acknowledgement before walking to his car, assuming that Yesung was behind him. Upon arriving at his vehicle, he finally looked to Yesung. He stood at the front door, opening it for Yesung to enter. He knew that normally people would feel pleased by the action, but Yesung was slightly opposite, being the first person whose smiled wavered by his politeness. What on earth was going on? Things were beyond awkward. Kyuhyun was at a loss. At this point he could only hope that things got better.

He would be disappointed though, as the awkwardness persisted for most of the journey. He was not one that believed much in surprises, so had point blank told Yesung that they would be going to a small town just on the outskirts of the city, when Yesung had inquired. Yesung seemed to like the idea, which gave Kyuhyun great relief. So far things had been far from ideal, but it was Yesung he was with, that was just supposed to be enough. Things weren’t that bad at first, till Kyuhyun choose to make polite conversation, which to his confusion made Yesung more withdrawn. The strange man would only then respond in short burst , choosing must of the time to stare out of the window. Kyuhyun was at this point beyond confused. Wasn’t polite conversation normal? He was not doing anything wrong as far as he knew. He was following the date format as accurately as possible. Small talk was supposed to encourage conversation, not stifle it. At this point he some frustrating was building up inside him. Here he was trying his best to make everything perfect and Yesung was being a little ungrateful. He reasoned that perhaps Yesung was just tired. He had a larger schedule recently and then had that recording. Wait! He did not ask him about the recording. ’You asked him about the weather and not his recording?’ his mind questioned disbelievingly. Seriously how could he forget to ask about that? He then realized that he was caught up trying too hard to follow his mental date format that he forgot for a second that it was Yesung he was with. He sighed. He expected Yesung to finally make an inquiry as to his discomfort only to realize that the man’s eyes were closed. Did he fall asleep? Kyuhyun suppose he should be offended but the sight was too adorable. Things weren’t going well, but looking across from him whenever he could he was reminded that it was Yesung he was with. Everything was perfect, everything would be perfect.

Upon arrival at his carefully chosen destination, Kyuhyun felt relieved. The car ride was uncomfortable to say the least, but maybe now they could salvage the day. The place was beautiful. It was a small but useful clearing on the banks of a stone river. He had to call around a lot of find it but he was successful. It was only a couple hours out of the city, so close enough, yet sufficiently far enough so that they did not have to worry about disguises. The clearing was surrounded with bamboo that lined the river banks, but on his chosen site there was a nice carved wooden table and bench. It was calm and serene. He supposed it was not much for excitement but they were people that stood in front of thousands for back to back concerts. He thought a little calm might be good for them. It was not bereft of possible activity though. He was assured that they could fish if they so desired and they could even have a swim if they were adventurous enough to brave the cold water. He thought it was rather nice actually. He parked the car and prayed that Yesung would not mind the short walk so soon after he awoke.

He shook the man gently, to hear mumbled protest about wanting to sleep. Kyuhyun chuckled at the sight. Yesung was beyond adorable. He was tempted to let him sleep but supposed that Yesung would want to see the river, so endeavoured to rouse him. After a few more gentle shakes, Yesung looked at Kyuhyun with big bright eyes, confusion evident at first, then falling away to apology.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I fell asleep” Yesung spoke voice filled with apology and mild disbelief. Kyuhyun waved him off, just content to see the cute little pout taking shape. He supposed he should have been offended that Yesung choose to sleep on their date, but the man was just so adorable with his cute pouting face, there was no way on earth Kyuhyun could even think about holding a grudge. Kyuhyun exited the car, swiftly going over to the other side to open Yesung’s door. Yesung’s smile once again wavered. Kyuhyun was confused once more. Yesung was just smiling at him, what was happening? He did not contemplate further as Yesung soon descended, Kyuhyun being ever so polite taking his bag from him, this time missing the odd expression that crossed his face.

“This is really beautiful” Yesung praised, once they got to the clearing, his eyes filled with wonder, darting everywhere trying to take in all the various scenes. Kyuhyun released a breath he did not realize he was holding. He had been worried that Yesung would not like the spot he choose, but was happy to see that he did.           

Kyuhyun lead Yesung to the neat, well kept bench in the heart of the clearing, setting down the small picnic basket he had made Ryeowook prepare. He had cashed in early, much to Ryeowook’s delight. If it was one thing Ryeowook did not enjoy is being in Kyuhyun debt. Not that Kyuhyun was mean about it or anything, just that the eternal maknae thought it was best to get it over with and be done. He actually enjoyed this task though. He thought the idea of a date was adorable and was happy to be part of the process. Yesung in the meantime, continued to comment on things that he liked or things that simply caught his attention. Kyuhyun listened with delight, pleased that he had made the man interested. Kyuhyun led them diligently to the small bench, placing the basket on the table, spreading a small cloth for Yesung to sit on. The reaction was instant. Yesung stopped his bubbly chatter to become painfully quiet, looking at the cloth in mild distaste and then trying to force a smile in Kyuhyun’s direction. At this point Kyuhyun was tired of the somewhat bipolar behaviour. A second ago he was happy and cheerful, now he was silent and reserved. What on earth was going on? Kyuhyun had never been a particularly patient person, but always tried his best to be so with Yesung, but he was just about frustrated. He had to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

“Seriously just tell me what’s wrong hyung” Kyuhyun demanded, yet keeping his voice natural and calm. He wanted to know what was upsetting the man he loved and causing his quick mood shifts. The purpose was for inquiry not reprimand.

“Nothing” Yesung assured, trying his best to smile in Kyuhyun’s direction. He did not want his thoughts to spoil the day, even though he knew he had not been doing a great job on hiding his reactions. He really was grateful that Kyuhyun was trying so hard, but it saddened him at the same time. He promised himself that he would try to be more positive and  not let it get to him or Kyuhyun.

“Please just tell me what’s wrong. Do you not like it here? Then I am sorry” Kyuhyun was frustrated and really did not want to play this game. In those few short seconds he began to doubt the whole idea, to wonder if Yesung hated the place, if he had messed it all up. He was pleading with Yesung to just tell him, so he could atleast settle his mind.

“I am not a girl Kyuhyun” Yesung stated eyes downcast a little .He really had no intention of bring it up, but Kyuhyun sounded defeated. It was not right to continue in this vein. They were people in love. They should be able to talk about things that made them displeased; that was also part of love. Yesung only lamented that  the situation was obviously not the best time for such a conversation.

“What do you mean?” Kyuhyun asked, voice and face mirroring his confusion, eyes piercing into Yesung who was seated beside him.

“You have been treating me like a girl Kyuhyun. You have opened doors, refused to let me drive, made awkward small talk, grabbed my bags, you even called me pretty. Pretty Kyuhyun, you called me pretty. Do you see me as a girl Kyuhyun? Do you think I am your girlfriend?” Yesung just let it all out. He honestly did not mean to be so harsh but it all came pouring out as soon as he had started. He would admit that he was hesitant about the date. He knew it would be awkward but he hoped that atleast they could be themselves, instead he just kept getting sadder, each time that Kyuhyun treated him like a girl. He knew it was hard adjusting, but somehow the treatment really irked him, even though he really was trying to be understanding.

“You like a girl? Hyung you are the one that got me flowers. Hyung, you got me flowers. Did you think that I liked flowers? Have you ever seen me even smell flowers?” Kyuhyun challenged, his own frustrations bubbling up as well. He was trying so hard to make this work and Yesung was focusing on the stupid little details. He did what he always did on dates. Why was this so problematic?

“What are we doing Kyuhyun?” Yesung asked in resignation, looking at Kyuhyun’s now reddish face. He realized then that he had not been much better. Why on earth did he give Kyuhyun flowers? It was just something people did on dates. Girls usually liked it before. He sighed. Everything was just so awkward and messed up.

“We are trying to have a normal date. Was that too much to ask?” Kyuhyun responded, his anger fading, to be replaced with disappointment, now staring out at the flowing river before him, wondering how things could have gone so wrong. They both sat silently staring out at the water for a few minutes till Yesung reached for his hand, wrapping his fingers around them, pulling Kyuhyun up and closer to the stream. Kyuhyun allowed himself to be pulled, wanting now to only focus on the warmth rather than the disappointment he felt.

“That’s the problem Kyuhyun. We both tried to be normal rather than be ourselves. That is why everything ended up so awkward. We will never be normal, but we can just be us” Yesung explained, looking at Kyuhyun with warm eyes. In those short minutes, he had come to realize the problem they were facing. They both were trying to act as people or maybe  as they have acted in the past on dates, but things were a lot different now. Those old formulations couldn’t work. They needed to just see each other and feel comfortable, as they had always been.

“You’re right. I am sorry for treating you like a girl. I was just following what I used to do. I guess dating was not such a good idea” Kyuhyun conceded sadly. He had considered Yesung’s words carefully and saw the merit in them. He looked back at his actions and realized that he did indeed treat Yesung like a girl, which would have made him uncomfortable. This whole thing was weird and he knew it was hard for Yesung to adjust. He felt offended in a way by the flowers alone, so he was sure Yesung was put off a lot more by his actions. He honestly was just trying to do what people usually did, what he usually did. He did not once consider that Yesung may not like the things the girls liked. Maybe they were not ready or even capable of dating. He sighed.

“Dating was not the problem Kyu ah; it was just how we approached it. I would always want to spend time with you, even if it just washing dishes and having you poke me for no reason” Yesung pacified, turning to face Kyuhyun, reaching his hands up to rest on the younger’s cheeks, eyes staring into his, willing him to understand.

“We just need to be us. I am not going to lie. The idea of you being my boyfriend is weird and freaks me out a little, but I am willing to overcome it. I just need time. Can you give it to me? I only want to be with you” Yesung reasoned, voice soft and delicate, small smile playing on his lips, light blush on his cheeks, his hands still placed on Kyuhyun’s cheeks.

“It freaks me out a little as well. I just want you be mine. I really don’t need anything else. It can all come at its own time, but I just need to know that you are mine and hopefully I am yours“ Kyuhyun announced, voice hopeful and shy, eyes looking over Yesung’s head, slightly embarrassed about his cheesy words, cheeks a slight blush. He wanted to start dating so he could define their relationship. He realized that maybe they weren’t ready as yet or as comfortable at the time to give labels. He was truthfully alright with that, but he had to know that Yesung wanted the same things as he did. He would wait an eternity f he had too for them both to be comfortable, but he needed to know that they were waiting for the same thing, had the same goals in mind.

“I will always be yours Kyu ah and you will always be mine. We don’t need perfect dates to have that. Even if we just stay home and watch movies, I would be happy, just to have you with me. I really am sorry that I can’t give you more as yet, but know that I don’t regret this, that I will always love you and want to be by your side, even if all you do is suffocate my fingers” Yesung chuckled lightly as he ended his cheesy, yet heartfelt confession of sorts. It was always awkward for them to say things like that and as a rule they generally did not do it, but Yesung supposed that in that moment they both needed to hear it, to put all doubts to bed. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to define their relationship for a while, but he just wanted to be Kyuhyun’s. He prayed that things became less weird in the future and  would try his best to make it happen, but in the meantime he needed Kyuhyun to know that he no matter what he loved him and would never regret his choice to do so.

“That all I need. I love you too, no matter how long it takes or how weird it is. I am always happy to be near you, even when you fall asleep on our date, all I can think about is how adorable you are” Kyuhyun said smiling down at Yesung, letting all his doubts wash away once he heard Yesung chuckle at his remark. He did not even know now why he was stressing so much over it at all. They didn’t need anything, except to be near each other.

Kyuhyun felt so much love then. He was now only focusing on the warmth that tiny fingers had been drenching him in; the smell of coffee/cinnamon invading his nostrils now that he was not longer so nervous and worried about every little thing, content to enjoy the blinding smile Yesung was showing to him. Moments like those were perfect. Kyuhyun gently, almost timidly leaned his head downwards, ever so slowly approaching Yesung’s lips. He was giving him the opportunity to pull back if he did not want it to happen, but Yesung held firm, eyes just a little bit bigger, cheeks turning red. Kyuhyun softly brushed his nose against Yesung’s before after what felt like a lifetime to him and Yesung, pressing his lips to the older man’s. It was soft and gently, shy and sweet, firstly just enjoying the sensation of having their lips meet, then moving timidly against each other for a second, feeling the contours of each other, before Kyuhyun pulled back, leaning his forehead against Yesung’s. The kiss was soft and innocent. He never intended for it to be forceful or intrusive. He just wanted a little closeness with each other, but not willing to rush anything. They needed to grow into each action, to be ready and willing. If they forced themselves it would have no real value. He could wait. Yesung would be by his side through it all, there was never any rush.

“Your face is harder than what I have been  accustomed to” Yesung finally said without much thought, rubbing his forehead tenderly  against Kyuhyun’s whose own was still pressed to his, bringing his fingers lower to touch Kyuhyun’s philtrum. He was blushing, a near burgundy, but would not deny that whilst it felt very different, he had enjoyed it. He choose to focus on the warmth that he always felt whenever Kyuhyun was near, and the love he felt for the younger, rather than the foreign firmness of Kyuhyun’s defined jaw line.

“Another moment ruined” Kyuhyun chuckled at Yesung who had just spoken. Yesung would always be that little bit odd, and he would always just find him that much more adorable. Seeing the pout that took to his face, Kyuhyun would only lean lower to caress his nose with his, and place a peck on his lips, before doing the same to his cheeks. Kyuhyun would laugh at that the burgundy that claimed his face instantly, bringing his arms to encircle the older man, holding him firm against his chest.

“Thank you for the date Kyu ah. I really do like the place. It really is very pretty” Yesung said gratefully, voice slightly muffled as Kyuhyun still had him pressed against his chest.

“I am glad, but enough cheesiness for one day okay? Next time let’s just watch a movie” Kyuhyun responded teasingly. He felt happy and content for the first time all day. He was glad that Yesung liked the place, but he had been right. They  really should just try and be themselves. If they had watched a movie, it wouldn’t have taken him this long to have Yesung wrapped in his arms. Despite all the awkwardness and even more cheesiness, Kyuhyun still was grateful to have had the experience. It removed all his doubts about the future and even helped them to grow. He was grateful to the little clearing in a way.

“I would like that” Yesung nodded his head against him, pleased with the current position they were occupying. The date had been a disaster, and then it had been perfect. He supposed that it was exactly like he and Kyuhyun were. Everything was awkward and weird yet somehow perfect. He was pleased that they were able to clear the air and atleast sorted out the future.

“Definitely not a Bug’s Life again or anything with that Moon Geun Young though” Kyuhyun stated his conditions with a smile, thinking about all the fun they could have next time. He was sure now, that their future would always be bright, once he always ended up in the position he was in.

“She is a good actress” Yesung pulled away from Kyuhyun’s chest, determined to defend his favourite actress. Kyuhyun would simply smirk at him uninterestedly, pinch his cheeks before releasing his hold on his, instead reaching down to grab his hand and hold it prisoner once more.

“Come on lets have lunch. Wookie made it” Kyuhyun instructed, pulling Yesung back to the formerly abandoned bench, this time just letting Yesung sit, the awkwardness from before disappearing.

“Oh thank God. I was worried for a second there. I thought you made it” Yesung teased , though he was genuinely relieved that Kyuhyun had not attempted anything near cooking. He would have eaten it he was sure, but was relived that he did not have to say prays with each bite.

“I would never make you endure my cooking hyung” Kyuhyun informed with a chuckle, whilst handing Yesung the prepared little box, things now calm and peaceful.

Everything thereafter went well. The awkwardness disappeared as both were no longer trying to make things perfect or act as they thought was the usual way to do so. They teased and fought, with Kyuhyun eventually pushing Yesung into the water, and  Yesung swearing revenge. All in all they stopped worrying about the whole date concept and instead just focused on being together, enjoying each other’s presence. On the fairly long journey home Kyuhyun would stare lovingly at the man, fast asleep in the passenger seat next to him, whilst he thought about the day. It was funny how who drove was no longer an issue, Kyuhyun wouldn’t help but think. Yesung was tired from his long day, so practically ran to the passenger seat, nestling himself comfortably, closing his eyes, leaving Kyuhyun to just tease and poke him.  Kyuhyun regretted briefly that he had wasted precious time, trying to be something they were not, but in a way was still grateful for the ill action. It had forced them to evaluate their actions and make the necessary re affirmations. Even the little fight was a positive in his mind .It just showed that they trusted each other to speak their minds and loved each other enough to work through whatever issued they had. He knew that the date was supposed to help him define their relationship and he had not been exactly successful. He instead chose to focus on the positives. They had both now realized what they couldn’t do and what they wanted to achieve. He was confident now that he need not worry about the course of their relationship. Whatever happened or how slow it happened was not important, the only thing of real value was that Yesung would always be willing to stretch his hand out o touch his cheeks.

He supposed in a way he had defined their relationship. He knew that they were still uncomfortable with the formal labelling, but he had found something better. They were simply each other’s. No matter what changed, that would remain constant. Yesung would always simply be his. He absolutely adored the thought of it. He glanced once more at the sleeping man beside him, heart being warmed by the adorable sight. Today had been a good day. Everyday would be a good day if he could enjoy such a sight. With a blinding smile and heart filled with happiness , he choose to focus on getting them home safely, so that he could have Yesung cuddled in his arms, that much sooner.

A/N:I was really torn with this piece .I could have either made it cute and adorable or awkward and uncomfortable. I obviously went with Awkward. It’s a little cheesy but you guys kinda have to expect that by now...seeing as I am incredibly cheesy...lol ..It’s a little weird but still passable. Hope you guys can still enjoy it :) On a point of interest, I chose the date location as a river as they are very pretty where I came from, like in the picture on top.

A/N 2:I know that Siwon appears randomly and there is honestly no need for it, but I can’t promise it will stop. I am a strong Siwon bias and feel guilty for abandoning him as well as breaking up Yewon and Wonkyu...so please bear with it...

Please Comment and Make me Happy :)