Han Jinah never saw her life as anything above average. She was your typical teenage girl, living in a well-put together family home in Incheon with her parents and older brother, Jisung. They even had a dog. A large white Samoyed named Miso. Like any high schooler with a stable home life, Jinah spent most of her freetime doing one of three things: schoolwork, hanging out with friends, or sleeping. Her grades were good; not straight A's like her brother, but they were certainly worth being proud of. All she was trying to do was get through her Sophomore year of High School peacefully, without being put out on a pedestal.

It all came crashing down when Jinah's father died.

She remembers walking home in the evening from a study session at her friend Ryujin's house, she remembers stopping in her tracks as she saw the ambulance parked in front of her house, blaring red lights as paramedics wheeled someone on a stretcher out her front door in a hurry. She couldn't see who it was from where she was standing, however she did see her brother standing in the front lawn holding their shaking and screaming mother, giving a likely deduction.

"Dad?"

What she doesn't remember is running - dropping her school bag, and running towards the ambulance at record speed. She also doesn't remember being shoved into the back of the family car by Jisung, nor him frantically driving her and their mother to the hospital. Everything in between the drive, to being sat down in a chair in the lonely hospital corridor, was also blocked out.

"He'll be okay, mom. He'll be okay.", she remembers hearing Jisung comforting their sobbing mother, though his voice was shaky and unsure himself.

He didn't make it.

Han Jihoo had hung himself. Death by asphyxiation they called it. The doctor said he must've been dead for at least an hour before being found, judging by the deep blue tint his skin had taken on. Her mom had collapsed to the floor, loud sobs wracked her entire body and bounced off the bleak walls of the hospital, and Jisung had lunged to pull her into an embrace, letting her cling onto him for dear life. Jinah knew she should've cried, out of despair and denial, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Shock, is how she would describe the state of mind she was in, and so she stood rooted in her spot and watched her brother and mom cling to each other for dear life crying, while they wheeled her father's lifeless body to the morgue.

 

The funeral was held three days later. Jisung was shielding the two of them from the rain with an umbrella, while his other hand held her's tightly, and even through the heavy rainfall and his head dipped down as far as it seemed it would go, Jinah could tell there wear tears running down his face. Still, even as she watched her father's coffin be lowered into the ground, the tears refused to fall. All she could do was stare.

After the preceedings, a few close family members escorted the three Han's home. Jinah would've preferred they just off and let the trio grieve in peace, but her mom insisted they were welcome to stay the night. Jinah immediately branched off from the group when they got inside, took her shoes off and went upstairs to her room. Not even bothering to remove her soaking wet rainjacket, she closed her bedroom door and got in bed.

She rolled over onto her back and stared at her ceiling, spacing out at the galaxy she had painted a few months ago. A twinge was felt in her heart as she remembered that day.

"Jinah, don't you think that's too much black?"

"It's night, dad.", Jinah rolled her eyes at her father. "You can't put color in something like night."

Jihoo chuckled, "Everything has color in it, buggo. No matter how dark it may seem."

Jinah quirked an eyebrow and turned to look at her father. "But color comes from light, right? So if there's no light, how is there any color?"

"You have to always look for the light. The light, it's always there. No matter how dark it may seem."

Jinah sadly smiled up at her ceiling, lost so deep in memory that she didn't notice Jisung enter her room until she felt her mattress dip under his weight.

"Aunt Chungmi made dinner.", he voiced just above a whisper, his normally hyperactive energy levels having been drained from today's activities. "We should go eat."

Jinah didn't want to go downstairs, and Jisung expected this so he didn't give her a choice. Before she could protest, he had both of her arms in a firm grasp and hoisted her off the bed with him. Just like her, Jisung didn't bother changing out of his clothes from earlier, only bothering to remove his black blazer. She shook her raincoat off and onto the floor, not bothering to pick it up before trudging downstairs behind her brother.

Jisung excused himself to the restroom once they got downstairs, leaving Jinah to her own devices temporarily. She wasn't hungry at all, not in the slightest after all that had happened, but she didn't want to be rude to her aunt by not eating the food she had prepared. So she walked into the kitchen, ignoring the pitiful looks her aunt and cousins gave her, grabbed a plate and placed a few pieces of kimbap on it before retreating to the family room so her relatives could stop staring at her like a kicked puppy.

Jinah was about to turn the corner into the large family room when she heard someone crying. Shifting her weight to her left leg, she was able to lean past the wall and see her mother, back facing away from where Jinah was standing. She was crying, softer than earlier, but still hard to watch.

Just as Jinah was about to reveal her presence, maybe comfort her mom, she realized she wasn't alone in the room.

"It's all my fault, Joohwan." Jinah re-positioned herself behind the wall, so she was out of sight. 'Uncle Joohwan?' she thought 'Dad's brother? Why is she talking to him about this?' "I-I should've never-"

"Don't.", Jinah couldn't see them, but she could hear them loud and clear. "I'm just as at fault as you are. I should've been more careful.", curiosity got the best of Jinah and she found herself leering over the wall just barely enough to see her uncle pulling her mother into an intimate embrace, her hair to calm her crying figure. "I shouldn't have come onto you like that. We both knew the consequences of an affair.".

'What? Affair?' Jinah's brows furrowed unconsciously. Her mind began racing a mile a minute, as it began to piece together the situation unfolding in front of her.

'Dad committed suicide...'

'Mom is having an affair...'

'With dad's brother...'

When it finally clicked, Jinah swore she could feel her heartbeat stop entirely.

'Dad committed suicide because of mom's affair.'

The plate she was holding slipped, shattering on the hardwood floor, revealing her presence to her mother and uncle who quickly pushed each other out of their embrace.

"Jinah!" her mom looked at her with wide, nervous eyes, "H-How long have you been standing there, honey?".

Jinah didn't say anything, her eyes equally as wide as her mother's as they darted back and forth from her mom to her uncle.

Her mother smoothed down the creases in her skirt and approached her daughter. "Jin-"

"Please tell me it's not what it looks like." Jinah swallowed, equally as nervous as her mother. She was not raised religious, but she prayed that what she saw was truly just some misunderstanding. "Please... please tell me you didn't cheat on dad."

Jinah's mom sighed, looking everywhere but her daughter, which was enough to confirm her suspicions.

"Oh my god..." Jinah muttered, staring at her mom with so many emotions and none of them good ones. Hurt seemed to be the most dominant in her system at the moment. "Mom, how could you?" her voice broke in the middle, as tears began pooling on her waterline.

Jinah turned around and ran, ignoring her uncle calling after her, the emotions swimming through her body becoming too much to bare. She swung the front door open and took off, no particular destination in mind - just away.

After nonstop running for several blocks, she ended up at a playground. It was nearly dark, which explained the lack of children running around. She hobbled to the swing set, mind finally catching up with how tired her body was after running so far. She sat down just before her legs could give out, and finally, she did something she hadn't done these past few days.

She cried. She cried hard, for her late father and for her life that would forever be changed.