"look! it's yongsun-sunbaenim and byulyi-sunbaenim!" the people gush over as the two enter the school side by side.

 

their freshmen and junior years went by in a flash. now, both yongsun and byulyi are in their final years of high school.

 

"yongsun-sunbaenim's smile is so bright that it already made my day!"

 

"i know, right!"

 

"i don't have to mention that byulyi-sunbaenim looks dashing as always!"

 

"she looks so cool! she's even handsome too!"

 

"both have beauty and brains. the gods really have their favorites, huh?"

 

"i heard that they have been inseparable since elementary!"

 

"that's so cool!"

 

yongsun nudges byulyi's side, teasing her.

 

"you hear that? people are singing praises to you, why not give them a smile as a fanservice?"

 

byulyi nudges her back.

 

"stop that. and people are not singing praises to me."

 

"whatever helps you sleep at night."

 

byulyi sees someone leaning at the entrance of their room, probably waiting for one specific girl.

 

"loverboy is here." she tells yongsun who is already on her way to meet the captain of their school's soccer team.

 

"joonie!"

 

"pda, unnie! pda!" she reminds her and the couple laughs back. she does not want any teacher to reprimand the two of them for public display of affection again. it still horrifies byulyi to no end to be a witness of yongsun and joon's skinship. she is thankful enough that she has not seen any lip-locking and yongsun is considerate enough for keeping it low whenever she is around.

 

"see you later!" yongsun bids her goodbye after dropping her bag on her chair to watch the soccer team's morning practice.

 

"good riddance." and finally, morning has become calm now that yongsun is gone.

 

"now, should i review for a bit?"

 

:::

 

"the library is packed, huh?"

 

"well, csat is just around the corner. what do you expect?"

 

"but it's so noisy!" yongsun whisper-yells at byulyi who could not even bother to look at her.

 

"how about you start shutting your mouth up?"

 

"psh. look at the way you talk." by now, yongsun is too used to byulyi's blunt remarks that it does not even faze her up even by a bit.

 

byulyi opens another book and then adjusts her glasses which have been going down as she reads. the mere adjustment of her glasses made everyone swoon over her.

 

"you're barely doing anything yet you have everyone swept off their feet." yongsun shares after hearing countless shrieks from all over the library, "maybe if i get rid of you here then the library will empty out."

 

"as if." byulyi replies back, her eyes still on her book, "have you taken a look around? people know you're taken but it doesn't stop your admirers from dreaming whenever you smile at them."

 

"really? i haven't noticed. are you sure you don't need to visit your doctor to check your eyes? i could accompany you as usual," she quips but really, byulyi has been squinting her eyes for a while. she did mention that things start to get blurry again.

 

"i'm good."

 

yongsun sighs. byulyi can be the most stubborn person ever. she noticed that byulyi has been squinting her eyes whenever she reads ever since they were in middle school but she brushed it off thinking that it is just a strain. however, it has become so frequent that yongsun became so sure that byulyi really needs eyeglasses. it did not help when the latter has also been complaining about headaches whenever they studied together. she urged byulyi to have a doctor check her eyes but byulyi being stubborn as a bull, refused to go, insisting that it is just a waste of money. yongsun really has to wait until december so that she can accompany byulyi to the eyeglass optometrists under the guise of a birthday -slash- christmas present.

 

"unnie, i don't need this. you're just wasting money." byulyi argues in front of the store.

 

"byulyi, you're intelligent but you make poor arguments."

 

byulyi gasps. not at yongsun getting all smug just because she has finally used her own words against her.

 

"just think of this as my birthday-slash-christmas gift to you! all-expense paid by yours truly." she gives byulyi a dramatic bow.

 

"you do know that if i do this then i'll have to keep going back here. and that means expenses." byulyi pointed out.

 

"i know you are going to say that and that is why it has been fixed that my birthday-slash-christmas gift every year for you would be this. then you won't have to pay any expenses for your eyeglass from hereon." byulyi looks at yongsun. she must have forgotten that it will be their last year together since they'll part ways after middle school but boy, how wrong she was.

 

"whatever." yongsun now regrets influencing byulyi with this kind of attitude. just why does byulyi pick all the bad kinds of influence from her? just what would her parents say when they learn that byulyi's crass and unrefined responses came from her?

 

"come with me?" byulyi waits for her to take her hand.

 

okay. she has to say that byulyi can be cute. it is not like she can refuse when byulyi looks at her like this, right?

 

yongsun takes her hand and leads the way.

 

"hm?" after so long, yongsun finally realizes that the library has emptied out, leaving the two of them alone in the room. the librarian is already used to it that she usually leaves them alone for a while to get something or if wants to go to the restroom.

 

"it's late." she says after checking her watch. she looks at her side and sees byulyi sleeping. she must have fallen asleep from exhaustion. 

 

she likes it when byulyi is fast asleep since the latter is unable to reply snark remarks at her. it is quiet and she can just observe byulyi closely without her getting all flustered when byulyi looks at her in the eye.

 

these days have been weird for yongsun. she is not the type of person who easily gets nervous but recently, byulyi has been making her feel exactly that. she doesn't exactly know the reason why but the mere seconds that their eyes would meet is enough for her to get so flustered. 

 

she brushes her cheek gently with the back of her hand. it seems like byulyi needs another haircut since her bangs are getting longer that it sometimes bothers her eyes.

 

byulyi must be pretty out of it since she is not waking up even when yongsun is playfully and gently tracing her nose. usually, byulyi would wake up even with the slightest noise or movement and would even scold yongsun for it.

 

yongsun does not know what went through her mind but staring at byulyi for so long made her feel all tingly and weird. she slowly leans in until—

 

"hng?" byulyi wakes up, her half-asleep eyes meeting yongsun's wide ones.

 

"oh, it's late." her voice still husky after waking up, "unnie, why did you not wake me up?"

 

"i... i was—"

 

byulyi ignores yongsun's fidgety state as she clears up her table.

 

"unnie?"

 

"i was about to wake you up but you beat me up to it. ha, haha. it's amazing how you can win over me even with these things!" okay, byulyi is kinda weirded out by how yongsun is acting.

 

yongsun stands up first.

 

"wait, you're leaving me? we're not going together to study all night?" yongsun thinks that byulyi's slowed speech is kind of adorable.

 

"i... uh, i'll wait for you at the entrance!" her cheeks heating up as she leaves byulyi hastily.

 

what just happened? why... why did she just lean close to byulyi as if... as if she was about to k-ki- she can not even finish it up without blushing!

 

"calm down, calm down. kim yongsun, snap out of it!" she tells herself, fortunately, no one was there to witness her weirdness.

 

she touches her lips.

 

just what is wrong with her?

 

:::

 

joon pulls her closer until their noses touch each other. he leans in and slowly kisses her at first and then not a minute after, joon starts to get a little rougher. she lets her arms rest on his shoulders while her hands play with his hair, occasionally grazing his scalp with her nails as he seems to like the feeling of it.

 

yongsun can feel that both of them are getting excited that she could not help but grind her hips against his thigh to relieve herself from the stress and frustration that has been building up inside her for weeks.

 

yongsun bites his lips roughly that both of them can taste the stinging metallic taste of his blood.

 

joon replies with the same aggressiveness to yongsun, pushing her until her back meets the cold wall.

 

the impact made her gasp and joon took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. however, yongsun pulls away shortly, catching her breath. she gently pushes joon away from her until there is enough space for them to separate.

 

"it's almost time. we have to go." she reminds him after checking her watch.

 

"seriously?" he asks, dumbfounded by his girlfriend's nonchalant behaviour.

 

"do i look like i'm joking?" somehow, looking at joon makes her get irritated easily.

 

"come on, yong." he whines.

 

"what? you want to do it here? are you crazy?" is he serious? they are in school? just what goes on inside his head? 

 

"then do you want to go to my house after? my parents are out of town." he suggests, still eager to continue where they left off. they have been dating for a while now and he thinks that it's time for them to take their relationship to the next level. making out does not cut it out for him anymore.

 

"you have soccer practice." she points out.

 

"i can skip it for today." yongsun shakes her head. he is too eager, letting her know that he only wants to get inside her pants.

 

"i have somewhere to go later."

 

"you just can't do this to me, yong."

 

she feels like her head is aching from talking to him. why is she even dating him in the first place? ah, that's right. because she was bored. she's not gonna lie but her reasoning is indeed superficial. both of them are popular and he was pretty handsome too so it was a win-win situation for both of them. it perfectly works for her since it is easier to let go. as of the moment, yongsun has no plans to be involved in a serious relationship.

 

"joon, we just made up like thirty minutes ago so don't start another fight now."

 

he clucks his tongue and sighs.

 

"fine. i'll stay here for a while to calm myself down."

 

she looks at him and glances at his pants.

 

"sorry for working you up too much."

 

"it's fine. i'll call you later." he brushes her off.

 

"okay. bye."

she sighs. a breakup is just around the corner for them anyway. she will just have to enjoy it while it lasts.

 

after talking to him, yongsun goes to the hallway. byulyi texted her earlier that the results for the mock exam will be up in a while so she replied that she will wait in the hallway to meet her.

 

"where were you?"

 

"i-"

 

it's not like she can tell that she was making out with her joon. especially not when byulyi seems to dislike the idea of pda.

 

"it is too much for me." byulyi said when she asked why she does not like any kind of skinship.

 

"i can't wait to see you eat those words back." yongsun replied to her back then.

 

"i just talked to joon."

 

"is that so?" byulyi replies then reaches out her hand to erase something on the corner of her lips. "yeah, definitely talking." she smirks letting her see a smudge of her lipstick.

 

"yah, moon byulyi!" her face flushes in bright red, "stop teasing me!"

 

byulyi laughs and that made yongsun stop. her laughter sounds so good to her ears that she could not help but watch byulyi closely again.

 

"fine, i'll stop teasing you." byulyi replies then fixed yongsun's hair, "but you definitely have to fix yourself next time, yong. seriously, you're walking with a big 'just made out' on your forehead."

 

"j-just where did you learn that attitude of yours?!" yongsun punches byulyi.

 

"do you even have to ask that when you're the only friend i have?"

 

yongsun stops in her tracks surprised at byulyi's words.

 

"w-what was that?" she asks, still rooted on the ground.

 

"hm? what? that you're the only friend i have?" byulyi asks back as her voice gets small, a bit unsure.

 

yongsun has always thought that the two of them have a weird kind of relationship. ever since byulyi defeated her back in third grade, a one-sided beef with the woman began where she is determined to top her not only in their studies but in other things as well. despite her attempts, the status quo has remained unchanged over the years. byulyi remains to excel in everything while yongsun comes in second as always. and despite their "rivalry", yongsun and byulyi have remained close to each other but no one between them expressly used the word "friend".

 

"f-friend? you consider me your friend?"

 

byulyi looks at her again, her cheeks starting to turn red in embarrassment.

 

"why? d-does all the time we spent together mean nothing to you?" she asks, a bit ashamed as she might have been wrong all along.

 

"n-no! i... i just thought that you don't consider me one. you never said anything." 

 

"if i haven't considered you one then i would have pushed you away from me a long time ago," byulyi chuckles, "and why would i even let you stick around me all the time if i don't like you?"

 

it was just for a moment but yongsun's heart skipped a beat.

 

"besides, it's not my fault that you kept getting the wrong things in your head. you are the one who always says that you're going to beat me up someday and that you define our relationship as nemesis that help each other, whatever that means." she accuses.

 

"well, this and that are two different things!"

 

"but i do admit that i'm partially at fault too."

 

yongsun scoffs.

 

"well, it can't be helped. you are actually not the vocal type of person," she replies.

 

a pause.

 

"then i will be one from now on."

 

"huh?"

 

"i'll be vocal with my feelings from now on, though it may be awkward at first."

 

"w-what's with the sudden change?"

 

"just because." byulyi answers simply and yongsun could not help but giggle since byulyi is once using her words against her when she cannot explain things.

 

byulyi fixes her hair once again.

 

"do i look that terrible?" yongsun asks, suddenly feeling conscious after what byulyi said earlier.

 

byulyi stares at her as if taking her time to check her out, "but you have never looked terrible though," then she endearingly yongsun's cheeks with the back of her knuckles, "you have always been beautiful, yong."

 

yongsun gasps.

 

"w-w... who are you and what did you do to moon byulyi?" the sudden 180-degree change caused her a whiplash. 

 

nothing prepared yongsun for this abrupt change.

 

yongsun did not know that byulyi being vocal also includes her being flirty and cheesy (in a very cringy way, she might add).

 

:::

 

byulyi's eyes follow yongsun's pacing once again. she has been like that for the past hour. she is too fidgety that she cannot even stay in one place without moving at all.

 

"seriously, yong. it's alright. i know you'll pass. we studied together, remember?" and she dodges the incoming pillow with ease and stacks it together with a mountain pile of pillows thrown at her earlier.

 

"stop talking. you're not helping." and yongsun paces around the room once again.

 

byulyi groans. can't she just stay put? results will be out in a few minutes and it is not like her pacing will make time go faster.

 

the door opens, revealing yongsun's mother carrying snacks. byulyi helps her and then the two of them look at the crazy woman in the middle of the room who can not stop moving.

 

"is she still at it?"

 

"she is still at it."

 

"have you talked to her to calm down?"

 

"very much so but she won't listen. her, walking around aimlessly, somehow makes me nervous too but she just won't stop!" she complains.

 

the woman laughs.

 

"i know the two of you can do it. you've studied every day and every night. no doubt you'll pass the exam."

 

byulyi gulps. they did. they studied hard. both of them have been aiming on getting to any of the top three universities.

 

"thank you. for believing in us." she gives yongsun's mother a small smile.

 

"of course. well, i'll leave the two of you now." and she exits the room.

 

"was that my mother?"

 

byulyi nods.

 

"what should i do byul-ah? i'm so nervous!"

 

byulyi walks over, holding both of her hands as she looks at yongsun in the eye.

 

"i know you can do it. i believe in you, okay?"

 

she smiles as her words somehow calm yongsun down.

 

"okay."

 

it is time.

 

"you go first!" yongsun urges her to check her results first. her fingers subtly shook and yongsun seems to notice it as she calmly places her hands over byulyi's shoulder, assuring her that everything will be fine and that she is there at her side no matter what. byulyi fills out the information needed before clicking it.

 

"y-you did it, byul-ah!" yongsun yells as she hugs her from the back.

 

"i... i did it. i did it, yong!"

 

"i'm so happy for you, byul-ah." and byulyi can see it in yongsun's eyes. she looks like she is about to cry from happiness. "thank you." she tells her sincerely. "now, should we check yours?"

 

"wait!"

 

"what?"

 

"you check my results first while i close my eyes." yongsun orders, her eyes already closed.

 

"okay." byulyi chuckles.

 

she did not even bother to ask yongsun for her information since knows it anyway. the page loads. lo and behold!

 

"y-yong."

 

yongsun peeks at the small gap of her fingers.

 

"w-what?"

 

"you did it!"

 

yongsun gasps, checking the page once again, afraid that byulyi was mistaken but it is there. her name is there and it says that she did not only pass but also got a really high grade that will land her in one of the top universities in their country!

 

"i did it!" yongsun locks eyes with byulyi. "we did it."

 

"we did it."

 

"i can't believe it."

 

byulyi laughs, holding yongsun's hands.

 

"we made it, yong." she whispers pulling her into a hug, taking yongsun in surprise.
 

yongsun's hands hover awkwardly but she feels byulyi settling comfortably in her arms that she tentatively hugs her back.
 

shortly after, byulyi pulls back, her eyes shining so bright that yongsun could not help but stare at it.
 

and at that exact time when byulyi smiled at her that yongsun finally realizes something.
 

ah, .

 

i think...

 

i think i like her.
 

:::

The past few months flew so fast that it is already their graduation.
 

"unnie, is something bugging you?" byulyi asks after noticing that yongsun has been staring at her for a while though the latter may have not noticed it herself.

 

"hm? ah, nothing, why?"

 

byulyi laughs, "you look stupid," she teases.

yongsun gasps, "moon byulyi! what the heck?!" but before she can even land a punch on her, the younger woman hugs her side and appeases her anger with a fleeting kiss on her cheek which made her stop.

this. byulyi has been increasingly affectionate. byulyi who used to hate pda months ago is now full-pledged kissing and hugging her anywhere, anytime. it sometimes bugs her whenever byulyi initiates skinship with other people like hugging, placing her arms around other's shoulders, etc. though she only reserves kisses for her only. she often finds herself blushing whenever byulyi is close to her (and it happens a lot). she would sometimes brush byulyi off but the latter would often get sulky that she could not help but comply with whatever she asks of her.
 

 

yongsun just could not handle things like this. she feels overwhelmed especially after realizing that she may like her friend more than she would have to a friend. this has not been one of her plans at all. every time she introspect her feelings towards her friend, fear would sometimes creep inside her because all her life she believed that she is straight and then a certain girl proved her wrong. aside from that, their country is especially not the kind that embraces queerness and homouality.

"you're so clingy!" yongsun tells her.

"and you're so grumpy!" byulyi replies back, "ever since you've broken up with your ex, you've been grumpier to me," she accuses.

"i'm not!"

"whatever helps you sleep at night," she hears her grumble.

"hey, wait up!" byulyi starts walking away, leaving yongsun. she sighs, running after her then grabbed her wrist, "look, it's our graduation. can we not fight today?"

"is it my fault now?" byulyi raises her brow, her reply a bit snarky.

"fine. i'm sorry."

"now do it like you aren't forced to."

she just can not get her way out of this, can she? byulyi waits expectantly at her.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry i've been grumpier to you. i promise to be better. forgive me?" she looks at her, putting up her best puppy eyes at byulyi but she should have expected it already that byulyi does not easily waver with such antics.

"and promise me that you would not brush me off again!"

"w-why?"

"excuse me?” byulyi asks a bit offended at her reply. “are you trying to say that you're going to brush me off again? i didn't do that back then whenever you hug me or hold me!" byulyi asks appalled.

 

okay. it might be her fault that byulyi is like this.

 

did she unknowingly create a hugging and kissing monster?

 

"n-no! okay, look, i promise that i won't brush you off again!"

 

"okay, i forgive you," byulyi then gives her a toothy grin after she got what she wanted.

 

"i can't believe you," yongsun shakes her head.

 

byulyi offers her hand for yongsun to take, "shall we go?"

 

yongsun takes her hand, ignoring the butterflies inside her, "let's go."

 

graduation to some means parting ways but to yongsun and byulyi, it is just the start.