“Give that back.”

My grip on the lab coat loosens as Haewon snatches it away. My hands fall to the cold floor and I peer up at her through my lashes. The look that crosses her face makes my teeth grind, an art piece that screams wisdom. It makes my ignorant heart bleed. 

She knows. She knows something I don’t, and that makes her so much more powerful than I am. 

Curiosity killed the cat, we all know that. But many fail to remember that satisfaction brought it back. 

I follow her. All the way to the STEM building. 

It’s stalkerish, it’s crazy, but at this point, I’m having an out-of-body experience. My soul is desperate for answers and I’m going to get them. 

Hidden in the crowd of students, Haewon is oblivious to my presence. She marches down the hallways, lab coat swung over her shoulder. Halfway down the hall, she lifts her phone to her ear. 

I can’t hear what she says, but she speaks with a fond smile on her face, entering one of the private student labs. The room has glass walls for safety and supervision purposes, or in my case, for me to find out the truth. 

As Haewon sets down her bag, a muscled arm drapes over her shoulders, a nose buried in her wavy hair. 

“Took you long enough.” Jeno pinches her cheek and Haewon playfully rolls her eyes, shoving the take-out cup into his hand. 

I lean against the doorframe right outside the room, the back of my eyes burning. 

They stand, tips of their shoes touching, noses practically brushing as they speak in a hushed tone. An endearing smile stretches across Jeno’s face as she fixes his collar. Haewon giggles when he whispers something into her ear and nudges him away. 

Jeno ruffles her hair and leads her to a station, turning on a microscope. After Haewon washes her hands, she slips on a pair of latex gloves. My blurry gaze zeroes in on the metal bracelet she’s wearing, then shifts to the identical one on Jeno’s wrist. I fiddle with the flimsy yellow thread bracelet I’m wearing, realization punching me in the throat. 

Letting out a shaky breath, I ball my fists to stop my hands from trembling. I decide I’ve seen enough when Haewon wraps her arms around his waist from behind. The cherry on top, Jeno leans into her embrace, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. 

What is this? 

Why? 

You called me special, Jeno. I thought I was special to you. 

My bottom lip quivers and I frantically grab ahold of what’s left of my wits. Jaw clenched so tight I might shatter my teeth, I swivel around on my heel, bumping into a person who wears an amused smirk. 

“Hey,” Renjun greets, eyeing me head to toe. He doesn’t look fazed at the scene inside the lab. Almost as if it’s a normal occurrence. And his smile, it’s lopsided and taunting, like he’s in on a big secret and I’m in the dark.

I hide behind my hair and shove past him, running away from the cold hard truth that I’ve been lied to. Again. For how long, I don’t know. 

All I know is that I’m not special to Lee Jeno. And I’m not the only girl he has made promises to. 

Staring at the cracks in my bathroom ceiling, I pinch my lips together. 

My stomach is churning, unable to digest what I’ve just witnessed this afternoon. The scene is a broken record in my mind, replaying over and over again.

It’s not the skinship that bothers me the most. It’s not the way she hugged him. It’s the way he looked at her, wearing that ing loving eye smile that I fell for too. Friends don’t look at friends that way. I may be ignorant, but I’m not a total idiot.  

Inhaling deeply, my knees dig into the floor tiles as I shift my weight. My head hovers over the toilet basin, my fingers clutching the seat cover. I’ve been in here for over an hour, feeling like I want to vomit. 

My gut is screaming at me. I told you so, Jang-mi! Idiot girl! ing idiot! I told you so!

ing. Lee. Jeno. 

The contents of my breakfast are emptied into the toilet and I choke on a quiet sob. Burying my face in my hands, I don’t notice that I have a guest. My best friend peeks his head in, his eyes ridden with concern. 

Jaemin gathers my hair into a makeshift ponytail, rubbing my back soothingly. “Hey,” he breathes. 

“Hi,” I croak, wiping my damp cheeks with the back of my hand. I tilt my head back to look at him. Jaemin’s eyebrows are so knitted he looks twice his age. He must be confused because I sent him a vague text saying I desperately needed comfort. 

“S-should I buy a test?” He blurts, jumping to a reasonable conclusion. A dry chuckle slips past my lips and I shake my head violently. 

“No, no, I’m not pregnant,” I promise him, getting on my feet. After rinsing out my mouth, I lean against the sink counter, arms crossed over my chest. 

I tell him everything. Everything I should have looked into, everything I shouldn’t have ignored. 

Jaemin nods along as I rant about the perfume. The Chanel perfume that Haewon uses. The same one Jeno bought me. I talk about the conversations I’ve overheard, the matching bracelets, about how Jeno is easy to read. He has a tick when he lies. His tone goes flat, it’s so easy to figure him out that I’m ashamed. 

I’m ashamed of myself because it was so easy for him to lie to me. All the clues were presented to me on a silver platter, but I was an idiot who chose to fight my gut feeling. I fought my intuition which has consistently proven itself to be error-free all because I wanted to believe that he loved me. All because I love him. 

“Maybe it’s not what you think,” Jaemin murmurs once I wrap up my explanation. “Is there a possibility they’re just friends? Maybe you’re just paranoid since Yeonjun-”

“They’re more,” I interrupt in a tiny voice. “They’re definitely more.”

Jaemin exhales a loud sigh, reaching out to take my hands in his. He massages my palm and promises that we’ll figure things out. 

Oh, I’m definitely going to figure this out. My mind has already crafted a plan, and tomorrow morning, the first person I’m going to see is Huang Renjun. 

Renjun isn't surprised to see me. 

It wasn’t hard to find him because his blonde highlights make him stick out from the crowd like a sore thumb. 

I ambush him, blocking his path and pinning him with an adamant look. Renjun only breathes a sigh and ushers me towards the library. Once we are seated, he pulls out his tablet and sets up an online game of chess. 

“Tell me everything,” I demand, not bothering to be specific. He’s well aware of what I’m here for.

Renjun ignores my command, laying his Ipad between us. “You play?” He asks casually and I nibble on my bottom lip. 

“It’s been a while, but yes,” I humor him and his lips curl into a pleasant smile. 

“White moves first,” he reminds me, and I opt for a basic strategy, advancing my pawn. 

Renjun studies the board, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth. While he ponders his next move, he starts to speak.  

“I don’t know what he sees in her.” A pause to slide his bishop forward. “But Jeno’s been obsessed with Haewon ever since freshman year of high school.”

My throat clogs up and Renjun rests his chin in his palm. “I think it’s because they’re both damaged. People tend to gravitate to those with similar experiences and trauma.” 

I move too hastily and Renjun captures my pawn. “He’s been chasing her for years, but Haewon never allowed their relationship to progress. She used to claim it’s because Haechan doesn’t approve, but that’s far from the truth.”

“What does Haechan have to do with this?” I ask, moving my bishop to the edge of the board. Renjun clicks his tongue, impressed by my escape strategy. 

“Seriously, Jang-mi? Haechan and Haewon? They’re twin siblings,” he reveals and my eyes flutter shut for a moment. Of course, they are. How was I so blind to miss out on basic facts? I’m supposed to have a keen eye. 

Renjun clears his throat. “Anyways, their relationship is twisted. Jeno’s addicted to the chase and Haewon likes feeling coveted. She enjoys toying with his feelings and Jeno just wants to get in her pants to prove a point.”

He scoffs and my jaw tightens. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, deciding to castle and move my king two spaces to the left. Renjun chuckles under his breath. That must have been a dumb move. 

“We were drunk at a party once. All high on a joint Mark brought and I was telling the group about having to conduct a psych project for one of my classes. Jeno, being Jeno, had the genius idea to make it all about himself,” Renjun snorts, a reminiscent smile on his face. 

I watch the gears turn in his head as he examines the board. “He wanted to conduct an experiment to determine what it would take, how much effort he would have to put in, or what he has to do, to make a girl fall in love with him.” 

My chin dips to hide the shock on my face. That’s it? I was just an experiment to him? 

“He was convinced that if he succeeded in making a girl fall for him, Haewon would find him worthy. He brought it up to her and she agreed. Unfortunately for you, you caught his eye at the bar that night. You were an easy target since everyone on campus knew you were just cheated on,” Renjun explains and my eyes start to water. 

The pain starts off subtly, blooming in my chest and slowly seeping outwards. It soon becomes painful to breathe. I know we agreed on a fake relationship. I know what I consented to. But most if not all of our moments together felt real. It hurts to think it was all one-sided, that all his actions were him treating me as a personal guinea pig. 

I was just a pawn in Jeno’s game to capture the queen he has always wanted.

“The finish line was meant to be when you agreed to sleep with him, but the night of the party, after you two finally did the deed, Haewon changed the terms. She said for him to win, he has to make you say the three magic words,” Renjun concludes, aloof to the silent tears that stream down my face. 

I think back to the morning after our first time, remembering the conversation I overheard between Jeno and Haechan. Every word and his irritated expression makes sense now. Jeno was annoyed that Haewon didn’t give him his win. He was annoyed that he had to keep playing with me. 

“So you’re telling me,” I murmur, my voice wavering. “He’s just sticking around to try and get me to say I love him? So he can win a bet he made with the girl he’s been in love with since freshman year of high school?”

“You’re a smart girl, Jang-mi. I knew you would understand,” Renjun muses, making his final move. He captures my king and the screen celebrates his win with digital confetti. 

“Checkmate.” He beams triumphantly, and I inhale a shaky breath, the sleeves of my sweater catching my hot tears.  

“You were supposed to warn me when you attacked,” I manage to choke out, and Renjun’s smirk has a touch of pity. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t happen in real life.” He cracks his knuckles and rises to his feet. “Sometimes it hits you out of nowhere. That’s just how life works.” 

Jeno: Come over tonight? 

I stare at the text and kick a pebble. The nerve he has t