Eyes moist and puffed, she gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead while she treaded an endless lane of trees, making the path more foreboding than it already was. Without knowing why, she wiped the next teardrop that fell from her eyes. Out of the blue, she saw something she wasn’t expecting at all. Flashing lights. Damn it. Why is it so bright? The sound of screeching tires and shattering glass all of a sudden erupted all around, but she couldn’t see anything breaking anywhere. She took a deep breath and sharp jolts of pain immediately seized her, concentrated on her left leg and head. It was too overwhelming that she found herself desensitized by it. Suddenly, she was just in a big void, unable to see or hear anything. All she knew was that her leg was hurting so bad as if it was chopped off while her head throbbed in a slow agonizing manner that she felt like it was growing twice its size, or maybe shrinking. She knew she was still driving when she regained her hearing. The deafening sound of metal grating against metal brought her sight back as well, but before she could even adjust her vision, cold water splashed all around her, robbing her of sense and reason. What she was doing there and how she came to be there, she didn’t know. She flailed her arms, but to no avail. She couldn’t free herself.

I’m going to die…“No…NO!” she screamed when suddenly, she felt pressure on her shoulders. She was slowly making out the sound of a voice, but she couldn’t remember who owned it at all.

“Soomi!” the voice said.

S-soomi? What in the world is that?

“Soomi-ah!” the voice said again.

For some reason, she felt annoyed by it. Suddenly, she felt her surroundings warming up, but she still felt cold as ice. Her eyes flew open and the first thing she saw was a pair of bright, warm eyes, staring straight into hers. She blinked twice, making her eyes roam around the room, the afternoon sun shining through the wall-sized windows. She sighed in relief, thinking that it had only been a bad dream…again. However, that wave of relief was short-lived when she realized something off. She remembered seeing a pair of eyes in front of her. At least there was one thing she could remember. Suddenly, she jerked away from the person who was apparently holding her by the shoulders. She ended up on top of her pillows, pulling herself together as she motioned to sit up. There was that sharp pain coursing through her head again. She clutched her head, breathing shallowly.

“Are you okay?” the person who was sitting at the side of the bed asked.

She exhaled shakily, wishing she had never woken up. Nevertheless, the pain ebbed away and she nodded. “I’m fine,” she said gruffly, eyeing him. She watched as he smiled nervously at her. His smile was so bright, probably the brightest and most charming smile she had ever seen except that she didn’t like him at all. His name was Lee Chan Hee. She hasn’t heard that name before and she didn’t remember ever seeing his face. Maybe she did, but since she couldn’t remember anything since she woke up in a hospital bed about two months ago, she couldn’t be sure. The only thing that keeps her hanging were some of the images that kept flashing in her mind and surprisingly, though he claims to be who he was to her, he’s not included in the images she kept seeing.

“Would you want anything?” he asked her again.

There he goes again, being overly attentive to her. She hated it. She didn’t know why he was doing that aside from his claims, but she didn’t want to believe him at all. Looking away from him, she shook her head. “I said I’m fine.” She felt sorry for him, but she just couldn’t help but be angry whenever he tries to be what he claims to be. He was starting to look and sound delusional.

He sighed, still looking at her. “Soomi…”

Soomi…That was what he called her and she was starting to hate that name as well. “Please stop calling me with that name,” she said.

“But that’s your name. How else am I going to address you?” he said with a chuckle, but sadness reflected from his eyes.

“Maybe…maybe not.”

“I’m telling you the truth. That’s your name. Yoon Soomi.”

Is it? She chuckled bitterly. “Yeah. I’ve seen it in my medical records. Apparently, that’s my name.” She didn’t believe it one bit. For some reason, she just couldn’t and though he had been very kind to her despite of the fits she had been throwing, it wasn’t enough.

“I can only imagine how it feels like not being able to remember who you are…”’

She shrugged. “Everyone’s a stranger. I don’t know whom to trust. That’s how it is,” she said coldly.

“You can trust me, that’s for sure,” he offered, but she didn’t seem moved at all.

She stood up from the bed and paced in front of him, clutching her forehead, her eyes closed. She was like that for a moment until her head snapped up. “Chan Hee-ssi,” she said in a breathy whisper.

He chuckled bitterly, staring at the floor. “Do you know how it hurts whenever you address me that way?” he asked her.

She stopped in the middle of a step and sighed in frustration. “I can only imagine,” she said in pure sarcasm.

Chan Hee stood up, too, looking at her with resentment in his eyes. “It feels like you’re cutting me open over and over again. That’s how it feels!” he raised his voice at her.

“Look. It’s already hard for me to remember what happened to me before I ended up in the hospital. What makes you think it’s easy for me to remember what you were claiming to have happened for the past years of my life?” she retorted.

He exhaled loudly. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to help you with.”

She shook her head. “Well, it’s not helping. I-I don’t remember you at all. I don't remember you.”

Her words slashed him. He sank down on the bed again, looking miserable. “I wish you’d try…” He already calmed down.

That made her even angrier. “Try? Is that what you want?” she demanded. “Don’t you think I am trying? What do you think am I spending my days disintegrating into those painful headaches? Do you know how hard it is to find it in me to spend every waking hour within the four walls of this house instead of going out to find my identity?” Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but she blinked them back furiously. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to be this afraid? You do not!”

Tears escaped Chan Hee’s eyes before hers could fall. He stared at her, his vision blurring. He couldn’t express how he felt that night when she set out all of a sudden then went missing for two days.  He just nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I brought this upon me anyway.” He stood up, getting ready to get out of the room. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone driving that night and you wouldn’t have lost your memories.”

That seemed to have caught her attention. “What?” she demanded. He had never brought up that matter until that day. “What did you say?” When he didn’t answer, she marched towards him, making him turn around. “Tell me!”

Chan Hee turned around and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that and tell me about that night. Who are you and why are you the cause of all this?” she said through clenched teeth, clutching the sleeve of his shirt.

He nodded at her, telling her to sit down. He had weighed his options for far too long. “We’ll, talk. Maybe it’s time that you knew about it.”

Her eyes suddenly softened. “Knew about what?”

“Listen to me, alright? Hopefully, this would clear your mind of the doubts that you feel towards me.”

Shrugging her shoulders, she nodded. “Fine. We’ll see.” For a split second there, she saw hurt cross his expressions again. She didn’t know why, but whenever she sees him being miserable, it’s as if something inside her gets hurt as well. Still, she was sure that she wasn’t about to trust him through emotions. To her, feeling those basic emotions for someone, anyone, is normal. “Go on. How did I end up like this?” she challenged.

Chan Hee sighed, his arms akimbo. “We were fighting. I was trying to get you to stop working too much and you freaked out and got mad…” His voice trailed off while she just waited for something to happen inside her mind like some image that would remind her of it, but nothing came.

“Why? Why were you trying to get me to stop working?” she asked again.

“Soomi-ah, if you just knew what a work-a-holic you are. I felt like you were neglecting me for your studies.”

I’m not Soomi, she thought. “I see. So you’re telling me that I’m an ambitious perfectionist?”

Chan Hee smiled at that. “Wow. Your morbid sense of reasoning is resurfacing.”

“What? Yah!” she complained.

He chuckled then. “That’s one of the things that drew me to you in the first place anyway.”

“And then? What did I do after we fought?”

The smile faded from his face, replaced by sorrow. “You went away. You were crying, but I was too mad to come after you, thinking that you needed your space so I didn’t bother, but you never came home. Two days later, I received news that you were in the hospital.”

“You didn’t even look for me?” she said bitterly.

“I tried, but I couldn’t. You didn’t have close friends.”

The way he was stating it seemed to be very believable. Not only was she a perfectionist, she was also an anti-social. If she had friends, she would have received visitors or messages. “Is that so?” She sighed. “I want to ask this for the record. What are you exactly in my life?”

“Your boyfriend of five years,” he said matter-of-factly without any hint of irony.

That took her aback. “You’re still trying to sell that story to me?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not trying to do that. I’m telling you the truth.”

“Five years…that seems to be such a long time. That doesn’t sound like me. As far as I’ve assessed myself, I grow tired of things easily. How was I able to manage that?”

“You are an impatient sort, but you did it anyway. I don’t know how.”

Suddenly, she thoughts flooded her mind and she saw herself typing away on some paper, feeling frustrated.

As if on cue, he said, “The night we fought, you were working on your research and since you wanted to finish it immediately, you decided to stay for an all-nighter. You were furious at me.”

She gasped. What he said matched her thoughts and she didn’t even say a word of it to him. Mere luck, she thought to herself, smirking. “If we were really a couple, maybe you could provide me with photographs.” Yeah, that’s it. Maybe I’ll catch him lying through this, she said at the back of her mind, however, Chan Hee brought out his wallet and brought out several photographs. Scanning through it, she saw one with her, kissing him on the cheek while he wore that unusually bright smile of his. The more she asked, the more she was losing to him. Her hand flew to her forehead while she handed them back to him. Her head was throbbing like hell again. She saw herself on a park, laughing as she ran, but she couldn’t see the one chasing after her. Everything was just too hazy and it all faded to black right after she thought of it. Though she was afraid to find out more about her true self, she prompted him to continue. “Oddly enough, that sounds convincing, but where are my parents? Shouldn’t they be the one taking care of me and not you?”

At that, he tensed and she didn’t fail to notice that.

“What?” she demanded, thinking that she was seeing the cracks in his perfect story.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you don’t talk about them.”

She chuckled tauntingly. “What now? Am I some runaway as well? Your story is starting to sound convoluted.”

“They’re dead…”

“What?”

“They’re gone, Soomi.”

She frowned. “Gone? What do you mean by that?”

“It was in bank that was bombed. It’s how you got that.” He pointed at a scar just above her right eyebrow.

She touched it with her fingers. “Well, that just makes it more convenient for you, doesn’t it?” she said brutally though clenched teeth. “I don’t even remember them and yet –” A jolt of pain rushed through her temples, making her cut her sentence and bend forward as she clutched her head, slightly pulling on her hair. Somewhere inside her head, she could hear a loud blasting sound, followed by screams that faded into eerie silence. Her eyes widened, but she thought she was just conjuring the things that he was saying. “N-no…That’s not true.” She straightened up. “You’re so cruel. Why are you doing this to me?!” Everything seemed so real that hot tears began b from her eyes. She jabbed a finger at him. “You’re lying!”

“I’m not. I’m sorry.”

“Since when? Damn it, why can’t I remember it?”

“Two years through our relationship. You were about to meet them that day.”

“No!” she wailed, grabbing his collar. “Tell me you’re lying.”

“I’m sorry. Soomi-ah, don’t cry,” he said as he held her close, cupping the back of her head with his hand. He missed that – her scent, the feel of her warm body close to his, everything about her. She had been distancing herself since the day she woke up and the thought that she was pretending due to her anger crossed his mind. On the other hand, she felt comfortable being that close to him. It was as if she had been there forever. His arms seemed to fit her like a tailored glove while his scent just filled her senses, intoxicating her.

Suddenly, she pulled back, realizing what she was thinking. She looked up at him and she thought she had just one thing to remember, but she couldn’t put a finger on what it was. Her head felt like exploding as random thoughts began popping out of nowhere. She closed her eyes and raised her hand, placing it at the side of his face, feeling every contour with her feather-light fingers, hoping she could put a name on him, his kindness towards her, the radiating warmth whenever he smiled. Her mind was slowly stirring, her heart racing, but then, the thought of the dream she had invaded her thoughts, making her gasp.

“What are you doing?” he asked her softly.

“I’m trying to remember. I can’t keep feeling hurt for no reason whenever I’m being a pain to you…I-it hurts me more than it should.” Her breath hitched as she continued to trail down his face. “I always feel like I have to remember something, but I don’t know what it is. I’m getting tired.” Finally, she reached his lips.

“Let me help you,” he murmured against her finger, seizing her hand gently with his. She opened her eyes when she felt him taking her other hand as well, planting tiny kisses on her knuckles without taking his eyes off of her. “Your name is Yoon Soomi and you’re my girlfriend,” he began.

“Please stop –” she tried to say something else, but Chan Hee stopped her.

“You’re the smartest, most beautiful person inside out I’ve ever met,” he said tenderly as he continued with kissing her hands. “We’ve promised to stay by each other’s side forever. Tell me you remember that.”

“Chan Hee-ssi,” she whispered, awed by his words. She couldn’t remember ever making such a promise.

He closed his eyes, more tears falling from his eyes. “Don’t do this to me.” His voice cracked and it tugged at her heart. “Please, Soomi, try to remember.”

Her head hurt more while she felt like something was ripping her heart out of her chest repeatedly, the pain heightening every time. She knew it. She hated seeing him crying. She hated seeing him sad and the reason doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s not about remembering anymore, but relieving herself of the pain whenever she witnesses his grief.

His bright eyes opened again, the warmth in them engulfing her in a comforting warmth as he smiled through his tears. “We promised to grow old together…You promised me you’ll always be there for me…”

Her head felt a fresh sort of pain. It had been more excruciating to the point that she couldn’t even hear what he was saying anymore. She couldn’t even move as numerous thoughts began flashing before the eyes of her mind, overwhelming her with realization until all she could do was stare blankly at him, waiting for that moment when she’ll just shut down and stop thinking altogether, but it never came. Instead, more thoughts came rushing through her mind like a barren land, getting its first taste of rain after a long time.

He traced the side of her cheeks until he reached her chin, looking deeply into her eyes. “I love you.” Those three words seemed to have relieved her from all the pain, but she didn’t feel anything anymore, just her racing heart. Without any warning, he closed the distance between their faces, their lips meeting. Too shocked to react, she remained frozen, her eyes wide open, but as he progressed to wrapping his arms tightly around her, drawing her closer so her soft yielding body was molded against his, she just melted into a soft mass of warmth. Her eyes slowly closed as the kiss deepened. It was a new feeling and paradoxically, it wasn’t at all. His lips seem to fit hers perfectly, giving her toe-curling sensations all over with every maneuver. The soft, cool feel felt like it was in her possession for what felt like eternity and was still hers, though she couldn’t remember how and when she felt that way before. Her lips mingled with his without a clue as to where it was leading her. The pain in her head seared through her, but she was getting addicted to it – the pain of remembering. She felt like she had been waiting for nothing but that and she’ll need nothing else, not even an assurance that he wouldn't just vanish from her reach at any given time.

She knew it. It all came back to her in the intensity of a raging river, filling up a long dry and empty gorge and the thrill of discovering something new and amazing in itself. She couldn’t remember everything that has happened in her life, not even the ones he claimed to have happened though they seemed really important, but one thing was for sure – he was telling her the truth. The longer the kiss lasted, the more the thought became realized. She could feel his embrace tightening, pulling her closer, if that was even possible, while her hands laced into his hair, both of them stricken by the hunger that they’ve unconsciously built due to the circumstances.

After that lingering, passionate kiss they’ve shared, she pulled back, feeling herself capable of smiling once more despite of the fact that a big part of who she used to be was missing. She had her mind set on letting him aid her in trying to remember. They both sat on the bed, staring out the window into the courtyard, watching as the sky slowly turned from tangerine to indigo. She felt his hand covering hers then heard him sigh with contentment.

“What are you thinking?” she asked him.

He glanced at her. “When you would remember…again.” He sighed. “I wish it’d be soon.”

She blinked slowly when she realized she knew something she didn’t know before right after she woke up not long ago and found herself smiling. “I…”

“Yes?” he asked her, a hopeful note in his voice.

She gave his hand a light squeeze, her eyes fixated out the window. She uttered one word, but it was enough to make Chan Hee’s heart skip a beat, enough for him to believe in possibilities. One word – that was all it took for his love to be renewed afresh.

“Chunji…”

A/N: Hey people. This is my second time writing a one-shot. Well, I'm actually planning to write one for each Teen Top member and here's the one for Chunji~! I hope you'd like it. Anyway, if you'd like to check out the first one, the title is "Let Me Love You". CAP is the protagonist there. Thank you~!