Disclaimer: this story is a work of fiction, clearly, so ofc the adoption process here doesn’t not reflect the reality of our current society, especially Korean society.

 

Luda had always been a fan of technology, yet, she couldn’t help but marvel at the nearly miraculous results of the hearing aid on Chaewon’s life – not only she became able to hear a whole plethora of sounds, her verbal skills also had increased exponentially during the last few weeks. Of course, it was something gradual, but since Chaewon was only partially deaf, she was already familiar with some sounds which made learning to listen and speak much easier now that she could rely on the hearing aid to filter the sounds.

With the correct treatment and support, Chaewon would be able to become a fully functional adult someday – the idea was enough to put a smile on Luda’s face, but also made her heart a little heavier. She wouldn’t be able to continue as Chae’s speech therapist next year and there was no way to make sure the orphanage would give her the medical assistance needed.

Technically, her time with Chaewon was already up since her internship was officially over, yet she had voluntarily to stay a few more weeks until the end of the year, and Sojung was kind enough to help her. But it was only a temporary thing, since she had received a pretty good offer to work at a hospital next year, which meant she would no longer be available to visit as often.

Hopefully, she would still be able to see the little girl on the weekends. For now, she would use the time left, not only to help Chaewon to improve her condition, but also to make sure the kid had a good time.

Today, for instance, she was taking Kim to spend the weekend with her and Jiyeon – ‘the kids are allowed to spend Christmas with potential families’ in the social worker words, although they didn’t quite fit the description, Luda still managed to convince the staff to allow her to take Chaewon home, since no other family had offered to take her in for the holidays.

Jiyeon and Luda were more than happy to welcome Chaewon in the cozy apartment that had been their home for a while now – Luda’s minimalist and sober decoration merged with Jiyeon’s colorful accessories here and there, in an organized chaos that was just like them. The house was particularly welcoming today, as the red and green of Christmas decorations made everything look homier and warmer.

The kid had a small smile on her face since the moment she saw the couple waiting for her back at the orphanage, the smile on her lips only disappeared to be replaced by a small ‘o’ shape as she opened in surprise just like her eyes grew wider as she observed the house’s interior with curiosity. Luda didn’t know how the house Chaewon had grown up looked like, but she doubted the place was anything like their own home – she hoped it wasn’t, she wished their house never brought Chaewon memories of her difficult past.

By the excited look on Chaewon’s eyes now, Lee could rest ease.

“How do you like the decoration? I wanted a bigger tree, but Auntie Ludi is kind of annoying about furniture.” Bona said with a hint of humor, gently elbowing her shorter wife as she searched for Chaewon’s support.

Luda elbowed her wife back. “It’s still a nice tree, don’t you think? We can finish decorating it later, if you want.” She offered with an easy smile, gesturing to the middle-sized tree in the corner of the room – Jiyeon being Jiyeon, had bought more than enough accessories and Chaewon would have a blast choosing what to place on the tree.

Chaewon was quick to nod in agreement, a smile on her face lit up with excitement – kids would be kids, and no matter where she came from, Chaewon was still one. “I would like that.” She replied using both her voice and the sign language that seemed to have become so natural to her now.

“Good, so we have a deal!” Returning Chaewon’s smile with one of her own, she placed her backpack on the couch so she could get anything she needed easily. “I need to help Jiyeon to cook first, you can watch some TV while we are away, but you can call us anytime. Is this okay?”

The simple suggestion made Chaewon’s smile fade, replaced by a hesitant look as Chaewon shook her head slowly. “No TV.” She said finally, her voice low and with a hint of something that Luda couldn’t quite understand. “Please.”

Luda blinked in confusion, all her nieces always loved to camp in front of the television, be it for cartoons or games. “No? You can watch cartoons…You don’t like cartoons?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, the kid shook her head negatively again.

The couple exchanged a look, both unsure about the reason such a trivial thing seemed to disturb the child so much. Shrugging her shoulders, Bona took the lead. “That’s okay, darling. Luda has a lot of LEGO, what about it? If you don’t like it, we can find something else in her collection.” Jiyeon offered instead, giving Chae an easy smile as she added playfully: “She is too old for it anyway.”

“Auntie Bona doesn’t know anything.” Luda clicked her tongue at Jiyeon – and Bona laughed in return –, before turning back to Chaewon to give her a reassuring look. “You can play with whatever you prefer,” She pointed out the LEGO sets she had left on the small center table as well as the board games she had on the shelves – Bona wasn’t wrong about Luda having a collection. “We will be just down the hallway, so come stay with us if you get bored.”

With a relieved look on her face, Chaewon gave the adults a shy smile, before thanking them: “Thank you. I like those.”

“Alright, kiddo. Have fun!” Reaching out to ever so softly pat her head, Jiyeon made sure Chaewon was okay with it before doing so, giving her a reassuring smile. “We will be back soon.”

 

 

Their first night taking care of Chaewon – not that she required much care to begin with – went as Luda expected, but it surprised Jiyeon slightly, probably because she was used to Lee’s loud and energetic nieces. Bona had thought that Chae may loosen up as the time went by and behave more like the other kids, making a mess with the toys she was given and jumping from one to other until she was too tired to do anything, but fall asleep. Instead, Chaewon behaved as usual, although she was smiling more and seemed to be more comfortable around them now, she was still careful with her actions – building the LEGO with their help and only stopping once they were done, then proceeding to help place everything back in the boxes, before agreeing to join the adults in decorating the Christmas tree while eating cookies that Jiyeon had made.

By the end of the night, Chaewon didn’t complain or even protest when the adults decided it was time to go to bed – by then Jiyeon had already understood that it would be a long time until the child felt comfortable enough to act like a kid, if she ever would. Whatever she experienced before meeting them, was enough to shape a mature and intelligent personality that was used to protect her from the world.

That’s why she made sure to shower her with extra warmth, making sure the little girl could sleep soundly and know she was safe in their care.

Chaewon had her light chestnut-colored eyes wide open as Luda handed her a tiger plushie – something Lee had chosen in the hopes it would give Chaewon a sense of comfort –, accepting the gift with a small ‘thank you’, as she held the tiger to her chest. “I didn’t know you liked tigers.” Chae added after a moment, her tone curious, but almost hesitant.

Luda only smiled in return, fixing the blankets in the guest room’s bed that Chaewon would be using tonight. “I do, but I bought it for you. I know it’s your favorite animal.” Patting the bed softly, she gestured for the kid to climb up and get underneath the warm green blankets that were also new – the girl did as she was instructed, her small body disappearing underneath the small mountain of fluffy blankets. “He will protect you from nightmares, just hug him tightly.”

“Not that you need to worry about anything, we will be just down the hall and we’ll come running if you need us. We still have a lot of plans for tomorrow and no nightmare can stop us!” The raven-haired woman complemented her wife’s words, helping to fluff Chaewon’s pillow, lightly fixing her hair as well, a smile on her face as patted her head. “Good night. Sleep well, our little friend.”

“Good night, Auntie Luda and Bona. Thank you for inviting me.” The kid said as she did as Luda had suggested, keeping the plushie close to her heart as her little arms hugged it and her eyelids grew heavier with sleep, making her blink a few times just so she could pay attention to her ‘aunts’.

“Good night, Chae. I’m glad you spent the day with us, I liked it a lot.” It was Luda’s turn to say goodnight, and she did so in a similar way to her wife – only that instead of patting Chaewon’s head, she gently helped to remove her hearing aid and place it on the nightstand. She combed her hair with her fingers for a moment before leaving a kiss on top of her head. “Dream of fire type Pokémons, I know they are your favorites as well. Our tiger friend may or may not be a disguised Pokémon, but don’t let Auntie Jiyeon know about it.” She made sure to not voice aloud her last words, making it a ‘secret’ between her and the child who left out a silent chuckle in reply, nodding in agreement.

Bona threw them a suspicious look, but ended up smiling as well, as she waved to Chaewon one last time before leaving the bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, when the couple came back to check on the kid one last time before sleeping, they found her sleeping soundly, hugging the tiger plushie to her chest – no tension, no hesitance or fear. Chaewon looked happy and relaxed, she looked just like any kid should do.

The couple exchanged a look, smiles on their faces as they left the room.

 

 

“You know, earlier…” Bona said as they were getting ready to bed, pulling the covers so she could slide underneath it, next to her wife. “I have never seen a kid who doesn’t like TV before.” It wasn’t a simple comment, an implicit question in it as she waited for Lee to put down the book she was reading and look at her – which Luda did after a moment.

“It probably has something to do with the way she was raised, maybe she was taught TV wasn’t a good thing. Or simply it was something she didn’t have access to.” Luda answered, albeit Jiyeon could easily tell that she was using her ‘work’ tone instead of giving her a proper reply.

Therefore, the older brunette insisted: “Or maybe she associates it with bad things. Bad memories. She looked uneasy, wary…maybe even afraid.” Recalling the expression on Chae’s face made Jiyeon’s own expression become more serious. “I may not work with children, but even I know that it wasn’t a normal reaction.” She stated, her onyx eyes on Luda’s lighter ones. Maybe being a lawyer had made her extra nosy and insistent, but she couldn’t help it.

Luda knew her wife too well to bother trying to change the subject, letting out a small sigh as she decided what she could – should – tell Jiyeon about Chaewon’s past. “I told you she came to the orphanage because her previous family situation wasn’t…ideal. I’m pretty sure you know what that usually means.”

“I know. But how far from ideal are we talking here? How bad was it?” Again, her curious nature was working, noticing the clear signs on Luda’s face – her wife had never been good at keeping things from her, but Luda wasn’t the kind of person who takes her work lightly. “You never told me her story.”

“That’s because I’m not supposed to.” There, the expected high wall of resistance – a wall that wasn’t very difficult to climb for Jiyeon.

“She flinched earlier when I tried to give her a high-five, Luda! I try my best to be careful around her, but the TV thing was something I couldn’t predict at all…I need to know so I can stop doing stupid stuff and scare her without even realizing it.” Jiyeon was always good at persuading people, but right now she was just voicing her thoughts and hoping that her sincere concern would be enough to make Luda share a little bit about Chaewon’s story – and hopefully it would be enough to understand her better and what she could do to help the girl.

“It’s not like I know all the details either, Bona.” Luda gave in with a deep sigh, putting the book aside as she knew she wouldn’t be getting any reading done while her stubborn wife didn’t hear what she wanted – Jiyeon was equal parts stubborn and nosy, and Luda was glad it worked so well for her in court, but not so much at home. “Sojung wasn’t allowed to tell me anything, but she gave me a good lead and I could find some stuff on my own. In short, Chae was sent there after a neighbor called the cops on her mother, they heard screaming and a child crying and…” She hesitated, remembering the report on the case made her heart heavier. Chaewon had grown more confident and brighter, yet she was still suffering the effects of what her biological mother had done to her – and maybe she always would. “Her mom beat her up until she broke her ribs, Jiyeon. She beat her up until she passed out and the cops bust the door open.”

“ing hell, she beat up her own child?!” It was hard to hear, even if Jiyeon could guess some level of abuse was present in Chaewon’s past, she didn’t expect it to reach such an extent – or maybe, because she couldn’t imagine herself capable of ever doing something similar to a kid, it was hard to not feel angry and frustrated. “No wonder Chaewon is so scared, her mother was a monster!”

“I can only imagine how many times she did it before. How much more she did to Chaewon that couldn’t be seen, but hurt just as much.” Luda shared the same feelings, the weight inside of her chest turning into anger as she thought about the woman who hurt Chaewon so much – she had no idea of where she was now, but even the thought of her presence in Chae’s life again, made Luda livid. No, she would never allow it to happen. “She didn’t let Chaewon out of the apartment, not even for school. She never gave her proper treatment for her hearing or anything for that matter…There are probably less things that don’t scare Chaewon, than things that do.”

Jiyeon cursed underneath her breath, reaching out to bring Luda inside her arms. She wished she could give Chaewon a hug just as tight – but even this may bring the kid more fear than joy at the moment. Her mother had stripped her down from all trust in adults and building it back would take a lifetime. “She is so small, I can’t believe someone could just…” Closing her eyes, she contained another torrent of nasty words directed to someone who wouldn’t be able to hear her. Breathing in Luda’s familiar scent to calm herself down, she commented: “Crap, I need to buy her more toys. And ice cream. Maybe even a pony.”

“We live in an apartment, remember?” Luda chuckled, snuggling up to Jiyeon’s side, allowing her warmth to replace the fire of rage inside of her. Being mad at a stranger wouldn’t do them any good, all they could do was focusing on keeping Chaewon happy for now. “Do you think ice cream and toys can fix everything?”

“No. But I think it can make her life a little happier. We can’t erase her bad memories, but we can give her new good ones.” They couldn’t go back in time and give Chaewon a perfect childhood, but they could make her current one a lot better.

“Exactly.” Luda agreed with a smile, placing a kiss on Jiyeon’s cheek. “It’s really hard to not love you when you talk like that.”

“Then love me more and more!” Jiyeon was quick to reply, using the chance to steal a kiss, like it was her habit. “Now, I need you to teach me some stuff.” Giving her wife a smirk, she watched in amusement as Luda’s expression grew suspicious. “Hey, not that kind of stuff! I was talking about sign language, not love language!”

The reply she received was a laugh as Luda pushed her lightly as a punishment for her mischief.

“Stop playing around and go to sleep, Kim Bona. Yena and Hyewon are coming over early tomorrow, you can learn with them.”

 

 

 

That Christmas break set the tone for a new tradition in their small family – inviting Chaewon over whenever there was a long break or holiday, sometimes even on the weekends. Luda’s two nieces, Yena and Hyewon, bonded surprisingly well with the kid and Jiyeon’s sign language ‘class’ with the kids became a reality, as they all learned together how to communicate with Chaewon while also enjoying the light and warm atmosphere of the house.

Time went by quickly and before they even realized, it was Chaewon’s birthday and she was at staying with them again, as if it was meant to be from the start.

Yena ran past Luda, taking her out of her thoughts, and making her remember she was still supposed to watch over the small, yet chaotic group of kids– her nieces – she had brought to the park to celebrate Chaewon’s birthday. “Yena, no running near the lake!” She said before her niece ended up inside the pond alongside her beloved ducks – again.

The kid gave her a grin, running back to stay close to Chaewon and Hyewon who were busy playing with Hye’s new dog, a fluffy ball who loved to play catch. Hyewon was sitting back, too busy eating a generous piece of cake to throw the ball for the dog, letting Chaewon do the job – Chae seemed very satisfied with the arrangement, a large smile on her face as she pet the dog and spoke sweetly to it whenever it brought the ball back. Yena giving her a bear hug interrupted the moment, but Chaewon didn’t even look fazed, too busy pushing the other kid away so she could continue her game.

The sight made Lee chuckle softly, a nice feeling filling her body as she noticed how happy the little girl looked on her birthday.

This year they had bought her several gifts – from clothes to toys –, but Luda was starting to consider getting a dog for Chae’s next birthday since she seemed to love animals so much and Luda herself missed having a pet.

Her expression became a little sadder when she realized she was – in an occurrence that was becoming more and more common – planning ahead a future she didn’t know would – or could – happen. By next year Chaewon may not even be part of her life anymore, maybe she would get some luck for once and find good parents, no longer needing her ‘aunties’ to pick her up on the holidays. It wasn’t a sad thought, the idea should make her feel happy and hopeful as it was the best for Chae – yet, she felt her chest tight at the thought of not having Chaewon in her life.

“Ludi, it’s time for some cake, not daydreaming.” Jiyeon interrupted her contemplations, gesturing to the half-eaten chocolate cake decorated with tiny tigers – Chae’s choice – placed on the wooden picnic table. They had sung ‘happy birthday’ earlier and the kid had a genuine smile on her face as she blew the candles and asked her silent wish, only a moment before the other kids started to argue about who would get the first piece – Luda and Jiyeon were the chosen ones to Hyewon’s dismay.

Lee nodded slowly, but didn’t move to get another piece of the cake, her eyes on the kids instead. “They look happy, don’t they? I was afraid it would be disappointing for them since I couldn’t invite anyone else.” She commented instead, a small smile on her face. Watching the girls play so well and have so much fun with a simple celebration was heartwarming.

Jiyeon chuckled lightly, using a finger to steal a little bit of the cake’s frosting. “They are kids, of course they would like it. Food, friends and a cute dog, there is nothing to dislike.” And as to emphasize her words, she gestured to Chaewon who was giggling quietly alongside Hyewon as Yena ran after that dog trying to get the ball back.

Yes, they looked really happy. Chaewon did.

“I wish it could always be like this, for her.” Luda commented as she averted her eyes from the children to her wife. Jiyeon had helped her to plan the day and to take care of the children – as always, Jiyeon and her worked in perfect harmony and they both shared the same wish to make Chae’s day special. “We don’t know for how long we will be in her life, but I’m glad we are keeping her happy and safe while we are here.”

“We don’t know…” In a very non-Jiyeon thing, Bona didn’t finish her sentence, pursing her lips into a fine line and furrowing her eyebrows as if she was having a mental battle.

Luda gave her some time, waiting for her wife to continue, but after a while, her patience ran out. “Now it’s you who is too quiet. And you are never quiet, not even when you’re working.”

Bona ran a hand through her black hair, pushing it back as she tried to decide on whether or not she should say it – of course, she was never able to hide anything from Luda. “I’m thinking about us.”

“Us?” Luda echoed, confused by the sudden change of topic. She removed herself from her wife’s side, so she could look at her directly, noticing the thoughtful expression tinting Jiyeon’s dark eyes with a silver spark – she knew that look, but it’s been a while since she last saw it. “Is there something wrong that I’m not aware of?”

The older brunette shook her head slowly, hugging Luda by her shoulders before the girl got the wrong idea. “Nope. You are as cute and devilishly adorable as always, Ludi.” Winking at her, she gave her a smile. “I was just thinking about how happy I’m with you. How happy I’m that I chose to be with you.”

Such sweet words took Luda by surprise, but it also put a smile on her face. “You make me happy as well, as devilishly pretty as you are.” Her words were delivered in the same light, yet honest tone. Hugging Bona closer, she rested her head on her shoulder. “Why the sudden sentimentalism though? Our wedding anniversary has already passed.”

“I know. It’s just that…” Another pregnant pause, the last moments before Jiyeon dared to put into words a thought that she could no longer ignore. “It will sound a little crazy and I will probably regret admitting it so soon when I know how stubborn you can be. And then there is the problem of me being even worse and…”

“Kim Bona, just say it.” Luda cut her off, before Jiyeon could lose herself in her rambles.

“I love you. And you love that kid. I know that.” Jiyeon finally said, albeit both things were no secret to any of them.

“By ‘kid’ you mean Chaewon. What about it?”

“And I realized today that I’ve started to love her as well.” The words came easily, revealing the fond spot the kid had gotten herself in the older Kim’s heart – this, however, wasn’t anything new to Luda either.

Luda could only smile as she nodded, of course, she could feel Jiyeon’s affection for Chaewon and it made her extra soft whenever she admired the two talking and playing together. “I know, I notice you guys have grown closer. Even your sign language skills got a lot better.”

“I guess it’s only natural after spending time with her, she is a lovely child and I have a weakness for cute shorties.” It was a joke that would usually annoy Luda, but now she could see right through Jiyeon’s playfulness and into the sincerity in her words. There was another pause, Jiyeon playing with her fingers only to find her wedding ring and caress it. “The thing is, maybe there is a couple who would be willing to adopt her after all.”

It would be a lie to say Luda hadn’t thought about it before – they both had, several times and on different occasions, as if it was inevitable. “Do you think we can? The legislation and all the paperwork…It won’t be easy.” They were still young and an ‘unconventional’ couple by most people’s standards; they both still had a lot to progress in their careers until they could reach a comfortable position in life; they still had a lot of things to figure out about the world and themselves…still, thinking about having Chaewon as part of the family just felt so right.

“You leave the paperwork to me. I will look into it with Soobin’s help.” Their friend who was as smart as she was rich could do almost anything and Bona was counting on it to give them a fighting chance. But she also knew how much work it went into the process, particularly for same- couples. “To be honest, I don’t know if we will be able to take her home, and even if we do, I don’t know how long it would take…But maybe we should think about it.”

Maybe – maybe they could have Chaewon in their lives forever and become the family she deserved; maybe they would fail and come back empty handed after being defeated by a cruel system, leaving all of them with scars for life. It was risky and it would take a long time. However, they both knew there was only one answer. “I want to do it, I want to try and bring her home for good. You are right, we are both stubborn and no bigots will break us apart.”

Bona’s lips curved in a grin, her heart filled with new hope and excitement – they could make it work, just like they managed to support each other’s dreams and grow together as a couple and as people; now, they would do it as parents to a wonderful little girl who needed them just as much as they needed her. “I always thought we would have kids someday, if fate decided to give us the opportunity now, we should grab it.”

Hugging Jiyeon better, Luda mirrored her smile as she nodded once more and waved to Chaewon who waved back at them before running to their meeting alongside her soon-to-be cousins. “Come here, kids. Time to go home and eat dinner!”

And even if Chaewon couldn’t know about it just yet, that was the first day of a new journey for the three of them – the journey to officially become the family they already were.

 

 

 

One thing that Jiyeon and Luda learned was that adoptions aren’t simple – in more than one sense, the paperwork was only the tip of the iceberg.

They both agreed on not telling Chaewon about it until they were sure they would be able to adopt her for good, only telling her that the orphanage staff was really cool and allowed them to meet her every weekend and holiday – just like the other potential parents did to their future kids. If Chae’s intelligent eyes sometimes glimpsed with questions, she kept her silence and always looked happy to see them again.

They, however, didn’t expect to have to lie to the little girl for so long – or to wait that long at all.

It took them half a year to get past the most basic paperwork. They needed to show they had steady income, a place of their own to live – they had it, all thanks to Jiyeon’s apartment that was one of the only things she had gotten before getting wrote off the family’s will; that they both had good and proper jobs; that they were a stable and healthy couple regardless of being a same- couple, what was by far the hardest thing and required several interviews, home inspections and even background checks. They managed to get through it all thanks to Soobin’s guidance and connections – money, after all, was still the most powerful weapon and Soobin’s family was even higher than Jiyeon’s in the social rankings.

They also had to deal with their families, and it went as well as expected. Luda’s family was excited and happy for them, everyone ready to give their support and willing to do as much as they could to help. Luda was beyond grateful for her family, even more because everyone, her parents and siblings, made sure to show Bona just as much love and support as they did to her – and her wife could surely use it. Jiyeon’s family did the usual, once they learned about the adoption – probably thanks to some nosy people back in one of the many office’s they had to visit to fill in more paperwork and answer way too many questions –, her phone was blasted with calls that were nothing but unpleasant words and empty threats; how could they leave her out of the will or erase her from the family register twice? it pained her, but as always, she held onto Luda and the family she had now – one that would grow soon.

Waiting and fighting to push through wasn’t easy, they had to live with the uneasy feeling of not knowing if all their effort would pay off, with the fear of having their case end up in the wrong officer’s hands and have to go back to stake one, or worse, having another couple suddenly take interest in their child and having to watch as she was taken away because any court would favor a ‘normal’ couple over them – it was a little selfish, but impossible to not feel like this when Chaewon meant so much to them already.

In the year they spent as her ‘potential parents’, they had grown so close that sometimes it was hard to remember they weren’t already a family in the eyes of the law. In that one year, Luda and Jiyeon started to learn what being a parent really meant as they watched Chaewon grow – physically and mentally: few inches taller, cheeks rounder and eyes a little brighter; speaking more confidently as she got used to her hearing aid and the use of sign language became more prominent with her time with Luda, her expression still distant and hard to read, but her lips were always ready to smile whenever they met; her tiny hands growing slightly bigger, not as hesitant as she reached to hold her ‘auntie’s’ hands and allowed them to lead the way. They had learned more about her, what she liked and not, what triggered her past traumas and how she dealt with. They even adapted their home to welcome her, trying their best to make their house look like a home for her and that they were the people she could trust. And Chaewon had learned from them as well, from playing games to enjoying their silly humor, slowly becoming a little more like her future parents.

It wasn’t an easy year, but it was all worth it.

One year into the official adoption process, the young couple received officially the rights to her guard.

“Soobin told me we can pick her up anytime now. She already sent them the documents…” Jiyeon had said after the call was over, blinking in a daze. It was hard to believe they could finally bring Chae home and this time permanently. It felt unreal, too good to be true.

Luda, on the other hand, was much quicker to process her words and let out a very non-characteristic scream as she jumped in her wife’s arms and hugged her tightly. “Jiyeon, you know what it means! Chaewon is coming home today! Now!”

Without her realizing it, tears dropped from Jiyeon’s eyes, wetting Lee’s shoulders as the older woman came to her senses and hugged her back just as tightly. “We really are…We did it, Luda!” She still had tears in her eyes as she lifted Luda off the floor so she could twirl her around in a silly, yet incredibly genuine, celebration.

Yes, they had done it, created their own family.

 

 

 

Getting there, the couple was surprised to notice Chaewon was sitting on the twin bed she occupied in a room with three other girls – none of them was in sight now; only Chaewon’s things already packed in a small suitcase. The kid had her tiger plushie inside her arms and her small hands trembled as she looked up to them, confusion and anxiety in the chestnut pools as looked from the couple to the social assistant that gestured for her to come with them.

Jiyeon wanted to reach over and grab the tiny hand, give her a smile and explain what was happening, but the orphanage’s staff pretty much dragged them to the principal’s office before placing a bunch of papers for them to sign as Chaewon could only watch in silence. By now Bona was starting to get stressed and a little angry, feelings she could see reflected in Luda’s eyes as well. It was supposed to be a special day for the three of them, but the bureaucracy of the process was ruining it and she hated not being able to comfort their child and say that everything was okay.

After a few minutes they were finally allowed to leave, but not before posing for a picture as per tradition – according to the social assistant that told them to pose for the camera. Luda gave her a nod before telling Chaewon to join them for the picture. They both gave the kid reassuring smiles, one hand on top of each of her shoulders, leaning in a bit so they all would be in the frame – their first picture as a family and Chaewon wasn’t even aware of it yet.

The kid kept her shoulders stiff even after the picture was taken, the plushie she kept beside her still tightly held, as it was a shield – seeing Chaewon so defensive made the couple exchange worried looks, rushing to say goodbye to the social assistant so they could speak to Chaewon alone in the parking lot.

The little girl, however, was quicker. Not uttering a word, she used fast gestures to sign the question: “Are you taking me to them now? Why?”

Blinking in confusion, Luda kneeled by her side, just like Bona did. “Them? Who?”

“The people who want to take me. Mr. Jeong said I had to leave to go live with them from now on.” Chaewon didn’t even hesitate, albeit her hands were trembling slightly as she answered. Afraid.

She was afraid they were leaving her, giving her away. God dammit.

This time Luda blinked for a very different reason, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes, as she focused on her daughter. “And Mr. Jeong didn’t tell you who they were?” As the kid shook her head in a negative, Luda cursed the old man for making Chaewon think she was about to be dropped at some stranger’s house, instead of explaining they were the ones who would take her in. “We are not taking you to anyone. We are taking you home, Chae. Our home.”

“Your home as well, from now on. If you want to.” Jiyeon chimed in. Her sign language skills weren't perfect yet, but she made sure to use it as well as her words, so Chaewon knew how sincere she was. She wanted Chae to understand how much they wanted her as their daughter. “It would make us really happy.”

Chaewon didn’t say a word, her eyes growing bigger and a little brighter, her breath hitching – she was surprised, but not sad. If anything, she was taking in all the unexpected information with desperation.

“I’m sorry for not telling you before. It took a long time for them to allow you to come live with us…And we didn’t think they would drop the news on you just like that. Sorry for scaring you, darling.” Luda explained, a hand gently combing Chaewon’s hair in the way she was used to by now, trying to comfort her. “Is it okay with you? Living with us?”

Once more there was no verbal reply, not even one by sign language, instead Chaewon gave them a small nod, so small it was hard to notice – unlike the teary eyes and red cheeks that were unmistakable.

Jiyeon, who already had noticed her wife’s reddish eyes, tried to put aside her own emotions – did Chaewon hate the idea of having them as parents? Maybe she was weirded out by the fact that her parents wouldn’t be like the other couple she had met before? Or it was the opposite, and she was just happy to be with them? “It won’t be too different from what we always do, only that instead of staying with us only on the weekends, it will be every day.” She tried to explain, finding it hard to pick the right words to convey how much they wanted Chaewon to be part of their family, without burdening her with it and forcing her to accept them. “And we’ll be your moms, not aunties…But you don’t have to call us like that if you don’t feel comfortable. We will still treat you like we always did, we are still friends.”

“Every day forever?” Chaewon spoke for the first time that day, her voice trembling as she looked at the adults in front of her. As the couple nodded and waited patiently for what she would do next. Chae wiped away the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand, nodding once more. “I want to go home.” She gave them a smile through the tears that now they knew were happy ones.

Not having to hold back her own tears anymore, Luda stood up and offered Chaewon her hand. “Let’s go home, darling.”

Taking Chaewon’s free hand, even though she had to contain the urge of hugging her favorite girls, Jiyeon only stared at them fondly. “Welcome to the family, Chae Chae.”

 

 

Chaewon’s first week at home was surprisingly quiet – Chaewon herself was always quiet, but even more than usual. She seemed a little more observant now, as if she was discovering everything all over again and was afraid of doing anything that could ruin it. The adults noticed, but they allowed her the space and time she needed to adjust, taking some time off to be with her and just enjoy this new start.

“Do you think she will like the new school? I don’t like the idea of keeping her out of our sight the whole day…but maybe that’s how all parents feel when their kids start school.” Jiyeon commented from her seat in the living room where she and Luda had been working on their laptops after having put Chaewon to bed. The school in question was an academy for hearing impaired kids where Chaewon would be able to learn at her own pace and with the right methods to support her.

They didn’t want to send her to a new environment so soon, but since Chaewon’s education had been somewhat neglected before, she needed to join a good school that could help her to express her full potential.

Luda looked up from the document she had been reading, focusing on her wife’s pretty face behind the spectacles that couldn’t hide her always smart eyes. “Hm, I think she will like it better than a common school, easier to make friends…It will be good for her, it has to be. That place is damn expensive!” And she would make sure it was worth every penny, Chaewon deserved the best and she – maybe the two of them were becoming helicopter parents already.

Bona’s chuckle and any reply she could give, were cut short when they heard the sound of something breaking – glass breaking, followed by a familiar voice’s exclaiming in surprise and horror. Jiyeon looked at Luda, but her wife was already out of the couch and ready to check on their kid – she did the same, following her down the hall.

They found Chaewon trying to pick up the pieces of glass on the floor, her eyes wide open as she looked up from it to observe the adults. She panicked and tried to pick up the pieces faster, only to end up cutting her hand with one of the sharp remains of what was once a flower vase.

“What the…Chaewon!” Jiyeon ran to pick her up in her arms before the kid hurt herself even more with that stupid flower pot. “God damnit, I told you we shouldn’t keep that hideous thing here.” She complained to her wife, patting Chaewon back lightly.

“Bona, shut up.” Luda dismissed her complaints. The vase was a gift from Sojung and even if none of them was particularly good at watching over plants, she had kept it as a decorative item. It wasn’t important at the moment though. Chaewon looked small and fragile in Jiyeon’s arms, nervous eyes and pale face as she tried to hide her hand from them. “Chaewon, let me see your hand, please. Is it hurting?”

Luda tried to reach for her hand, but the kid pressed it against her body, shaking her head. “I’m sorry! So sorry! I didn’t think it would break…” She looked at the broken pieces on the floor and her lips quivered, denouncing she was about to break into a sob. “I’m so sorry!”

“Chae…Hey, look at me.” Luda insisted, this time touching her face so the little girl would look at her and see she wasn’t angry, just concerned. “It’s fine, it was an accident. The vase doesn’t matter.” She reassured, gently trying to convince her to show the wounded hand. “Are you okay, honey?”

“There, there, sweetie. It’s all good, no need to cry over it.” Jiyeon tried to help, still holding the kid in her arms and gently patting her back until her body stopped shivering. It was just a stupid vase, but for Chaewon to react like that, she must have experienced something similar before and the consequences must have traumatized her – they would make sure she knew things would never be the same with them. “It was an ugly vase and accidents happen to everyone, so don’t worry about it. Now let your mom see your hand, will you?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, whispering another ‘sorry’, Chaewon hesitated for a moment before doing as requested.

There was a small cut on her index finger, blood smeared on the palm and on her pajamas now. It wasn’t something serious and Luda could finally breathe easy. “It doesn’t look too bad, but it will stink for a while if not treated.” Giving the kid a smile, she kissed the back of her hand, before instructing: “Jiyeon, bring her to the bathroom, the first aid kit is in there. I will clean up here and meet you there.”

A few minutes later, Chaewon looked much calmer, holding onto her favorite plushie as a brand-new Pokémon – Charmander more specifically, by Chae’s choice – band-aid decorated her finger, all thanks to Luda’s overzealous side that had bought two whole boxes of it that would be put to good use.

“Do you feel better now?” She asked once she was done with her nursing work, the kid giving her a soft ‘thank you’ and a nod in reply. “Good. Next time something like this happens, just call us instead of trying to clean up by yourself. Okay?” Offering her pinky for a promise, she encouraged Chaewon to accept it with a smile.

“I will.” Chaewon smiled as she noticed Luda had placed a band-aid on her own finger, so now they were matching, sealing the promise.

“Don’t I get one?” Bona said playfully, before softly ruffling Chae’s hair. “You don’t have to worry, we won’t get mad at you for things like that. But it will make us sad if you get hurt, so just call moms and we will be there.” She also received a pinky promise – and a ‘rabbit’ Pokémon band-aid that made her glare at Luda and Chaewon nod in approval. “Enough of my puppies clowning me, let’s get you back to bed!”

It was their second time putting Chae to sleep that night, the kid slipping under the covers with her eyes heavy and a smile on her face – her trust in her parents growing a little more after the little incident that no longer reminded her of bad memories, but of cute Pokémon band-aids and loving moms caring for her.

“Good night, Chae Chae, dream of cute tigers and your cute mom Jiyeon…I mean, your cute moms plural.” Jiyeon said lightly, winking at her wife and making Luda roll her eyes at her with a smile. She gave Chae a kiss on top of the head, patting her hair lightly – and this time she didn’t need to worry about her flinching in fear, knowing that Chae was comfortable around her now.

“Just knock on our door if you need anything, okay? I will help you take it off for the night, but I will leave it right here.” She helped Chaewon to take off the hearing aid, placing it on the nightstand where she could easily reach it. Like always, she run her fingers through her hair, fixing it nicely. “Good night, baby tiger.” Just like Jiyeon did, she left a kiss on Chae’s head.

“Good night…” Chaewon said quietly now that she no longer had the hearing aid to hear herself. She gave them a small smile, but there was a nervous expression on her face before she shyly gestured for the adults to get closer and only then she reached out to give them a hug – the first one ever she ever initiated, which was gladly accepted and returned. “Thank you, moms. Sleep well, too.”

 

 

They only left Chaewon’s room once she was sleeping soundly, the hug lasting for a long moment before her body gave in to the sleep and the child was once more tucked into bed by her loveling parents who struggled to contain silly grins of true happiness.

“Did she just?” Jiyeon said once they were outside the bedroom, her voice quiet, but full of excitement.

There was no need to specify what she meant, Luda knew it because her smile was caused by the same thing. “Yeah, she did! Can you believe it?”

They embraced each other, bodies light with the liquid happiness – Chaewon was theirs, not because a piece of paper said so, but because she had accepted them as her family, and there was nothing else that mattered. “I guess we aren’t doing so bad as mothers after all.”

Bona’s eyes were curved into half-moons as she kissed her wife with a proud smile on her face. “Actually, I think we are doing great!”

And as time would tell, Jiyeon was correct. As time passed and the weeks turned into years, in many ways Chaewon became theirs, just like they became hers – like a family is supposed to be, not tied by blood but by genuine love.