"You want the world to accept, but you don't accept yourself. "

Karina Pov:

I woke up in the morning trying to sort out my emotions within myself. I wouldn't think these emotions are right considering I fell in love with my best friend and even my classmate. I have no idea how I should handle this feeling, because we meet every day, I have no way to avoid it. Even if I had a chance, I wouldn't live with it because it makes me happy whenever I meet him. I often wait for the mornings because then I can meet him again at school time. In the meantime, I also started preparing because I shouldn't be late. How should I handle this? I'm not even sure how he would react, because there's no guarantee I won't get stuck on my confession if I even stood in front of Soyoung. Ahh ... I have no idea what to do, and besides, I can't discuss this with anyone. I would tell anyone what I really feel, I would just make people look at me in disgust, condemn me. This is the situation I definitely want to avoid. I also can't talk to my mother about this. He works a lot for the two of us, so I don't want to burden him with that, as he certainly has his own problems. I try to help her in whatever I can, so when I can get home on time I help her do the housework instead so that it is no longer her job after work.

I was on my way in the meantime, but my thoughts didn't let me down. I found a social media site last night where people of my age discussed their gender. Many are in a similar situation to me, and that has given me some strength. I am not the only person struggling with such emotions. I read the comments and also found one where the girls would ask each other for advice on how they could make the right decision. It will be best for now that I do not say a word to anyone about this, so it will remain my secret. No matter how many books and mangas I read, everything happens and is solved so easily. Unfortunately, this is not so simple in reality. In fact. Soyeong and I have been friends since elementary school, but I never thought I would ever have such strong feelings for her. At first I thought a friend might have these feelings because when I'm happy with him, I feel good and can always make me laugh. However, I would not have thought at all that this inexplicable feeling was love.

I didn't think about it, it didn't even occur to me that this was behind things, but the more I read about these things, the clearer it becomes to what I actually feel. And that scares me. All I keep hearing from people's conversations is that it's not right, you shouldn't feel that way, or how disgusting it is. It will simply be the best solution possible to keep this to myself and not tell anyone what is going on inside me.

-Karina. Karina wake up — I noticed a pleasant sound. -You shouldn't sleep here. You know that, don't you?

-Hm? I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well in the evening. "He put an awkward smile on my face as I didn't think Soyoung was standing in front of me.

-What about?-It's lunchtime, so I thought we could eat together and talk. What do you say? "He smiled at me so kindly and sweetly. I would have been unable to say no to him, so of course I took a seat opposite him and we started having lunch. We were able to talk about quite a few topics for hours, and it always went very well for me. I felt I was important to someone, not neglecting, watching me. I usually try to behave the way I always do, but unfortunately I never paid attention, so I stared at Soyoung for a long time.

"... so we're there now that my weekend is free," I just noticed at the end of what he said. I felt quite uncomfortable for explaining poor to me, and I only got my head up at the end of the sentence. I think here's our chance to be a little more together.

"My weekend is free for me, too, and since you're not a good student, I thought maybe I could help you learn." What is it ?! I swear I couldn't be stupider than that. I got my hands right in front of my lips and I could only blink. Soyoung looked up at him and presented him with the sweetest smile in the world.

"I'll go over to you this weekend," he laughed. "You don't have to overreact to this." You just invited me to yourself, but your reaction takes everything. "He started laughing out loud enough, and I had to laugh at myself. I guess how much gas I can paint, but I tried not to show what I was feeling.I feel this weekend will be very defining. I couldn't limit why I think this, but my inner intuition suggests something good will happen. I am confident that this will be the case and nothing will go wrong. I can't wait for the weekend.

Thanks to those who read my writing. :) I'm sorry if you find a lot of mistakes in it, but English is not my native language. I will do my best to read my writing. If you liked it, write it in a comment and wait for the next part. :)