- JiHo
- Not now,I’m working.
- JiHo, there is someone here for you…
-  I said not now Kyung. I’m busy.

He could hear his friend sighing behind him, but didn’t even bother looking up from the lyrics he was writing. There was no need.

- JiHo…
- What the… Hyung?

That was really what he had expected, when he looked up from his sheet. No, not really.

- Wh…What are you doing here?
-  I’ll leave you… JiHo don’t forget to eat…
-  I’ll make sure he will. Thank you Kyung.

JiHo glanced at his friend leaving the studio and thought that he should maybe have been nicer to him. Kyung probably thought it was a good idea to leave him alone with YongGuk. It wasn’t.

- Why are you here Hyung?
- We’re done with our promotions so we’re having some time off… I came to check you were okay… Things have been quite chaotic for you so…
- I don’t need you. We’re doing fine.

YongGuk raised an eyebrow, and looked at him deeply for a moment.

- If you say so… How is JiHoon doing?

JiHo tensed at the name of the maknae, and turned back to his desk, head bent over the sheet of lyrics.

- He’s fine.
- JiHo, you know… You don’t have to do everything on you own. Always. You know that right?

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had slept more than a one hour nap.

- If you’re here to nag at me… There’s no need, Kyung already does that perfectly.

YongGuk smiled tiredly and sat on the couch in front of him. It’s been so long since they’ve seen each other, JiHo thought. Quite weird for people who use to spend their days and night together. Rapping, writing, composing, recording.

- I’m here as a friend JiHo… We… We’re friends you know.

JiHo sighed, letting his head fall backward.

- We haven’t seen each other in ages Hyung…
- That was your choice.

He opened an eye, glancing at YongGuk. The blond was sitting comfortably on the couch, his hood back on, allowing only a few stray of blond hair to be seen. YongGuk looked way different from back then, he thought. The time when they were both rapping underground, meeting in clubs for concerts where people came for the lyrics and flow, more than for their faces.  YongGuk looked thinner, and more tired. His voice raw from all the practices.
JiHo wondered if he had changed a lot too. He probably did.

- I need to go back to my dorm… We’re planning on celebrating our first month after debuting.

JiHo nodded.

- We should go out and have a drink someday…
- We’re not done with our promotions. We have to work even harder you know. We’re not the Best, nor Absolutely Perfect you know.

YongGuk winced, and glared at him.

- Don’t lash out on me. I have nothing to do with anything that happened. I’m here as your friend. Not another singer. Not a rival.
- We’ve always been rival Hyung. Always.

They stared at each other for a moment before YongGuk turned away and left the studio.
JiHo let a heavy sigh out, and sank back into his chair. Bang YongGuk. That had been unexpected.

~*~

- I’m in a bar right now… Want to join me?
- JiHo?
- Come On Hyung, don’t try to sound surprised. You have my name on your phone, you know it’s me who was calling. Now come here. You said you wanted to have a drink so come on.

YongGuk arrived about 20minutes later. Hoodie, cap and huge glasses on. JiHo wanted to laugh, but said nothing.

- Why did you call me here?
- You said you wanted to have a drink…

JiHo smiled and glanced around. The bar was crowded, people talking, laughing, dancing, everywhere. No one seemed to actually care about who they were. Which was quite great. He couldn’t risk to be seen in clubs. Not at the moment.
They moved to an empty table, drinks in hand, silent for a moment.

- Do you miss it…? Sometimes?

YongGuk asked, looking the crowd absentmindedly. JiHo raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

- I don’t know…
- You can’t not know JiHo.
- Do you?
- What?
- Miss it.
- I don’t think so.
- But you never really wanted to become an idol right?

It was YongGuk’s time to shrug.

- It was becoming boring. I guess I needed to change. And I had a great example.

JiHo snorted, and looked up from his glass.

- Yeah… What an example…. Look at me now. Head shaved, my members not able to smile, and JiHoon in the hospital.

YongGuk shook his head, and took a sip from his drink.

- It’s not all your fault. Everything went way too far.
- I should have done things differently. As usual.

There fell silent. Too busy thinking.

- Why did you decide to leave the underground?
- I… I don’t know. I was sick of having to fight to stay upright I guess. I wanted everyone to know my songs. My flow, my rap. Everything.
- So you just left us there…
- I received a really good opportunity. I took it.

YongGuk nodded. The song changed in the background, and JiHo realized that he didn’t even know anything about YongGuk anymore. Did YongGuk like his song? A few years ago he would have been able to know. Now… Now he didn’t know anything anymore.
It was weird he thought. That YongGuk was here in front of him. In the end YongGuk was always there when he needed someone. Even now.
It had always been like that back then. When they were coming back from late performances, and JiHo was too tired to go back home. YongGuk would drive him to his own flat, and they would fall unceremoniously on the bed, tangled into each other. They would wake up cuddling, and laughing at how stupid they looked. But none of them was actually moving away.

He remembers the time YongGuk had knocked at the door of his flat, face scratched and lips bleeding. He had nearly closed back the door in surprise, but YongGuk hadn’t waited, and had entered his flat. They hadn’t talked about anything this evening. Just lying together, close enough to hear the other breathing. At some point someone had taken the hand of the other. Who, and how, JiHo couldn’t remember. But he could recall the warmth of YongGuk’s hand in his, and how reassuring it felt at the time.

- Do you think that…? We could have worked?

YongGuk looked at him, a frown on his face.

- Why are you asking me that now?
- I… I don’t know. I just… wanted to know I guess.

YongGuk nodded, and looked back at the dance floor. Eyes scanning the crowd.

- I don’t know. I think it could have been good.

YongGuk looked back at JiHo with a small smile.

- It’s too late isn’t it?
- JiHo…
- I know. I know…
- Sometimes opportunity appears and you have to grab them at the moment. If you don’t… It’s too late.
- We’re too late.
- You decided to take other opportunities. It was your choice JiHo.

JiHo nodded.

-I know. I know it’s me.
- I’m not saying it’s your fault. I did hate you for leaving everything without a word back then. But I do understand now.
- Thank you.

YongGuk smiled and JiHo chuckled. YongGuk’s smile was one of the most beautiful and ridiculous thing he had ever seen. Half teeth, half gum.

- So… Kim HimChan right?

YongGuk laughed, and nodded.

- Yeah… He’s something.
- He looks fine.
- He is. It’s not you… But he’s great.

JiHo smiled nodding. He couldn’t blame anyone else but himself after all. And even if sometimes he asked himself how it would be, if he hadn’t left, if he had stayed rapping in clubs, he wouldn’t trade his place for anything in the world. Not even for YongGuk.

- We’re quite similar right?
- What?
- We have the same background, same skills. We both decided to leave rapping in scruffy clubs to become idols… And we both end up with the ulzzang of our group. Quite funny right?
- Wh…What? I... No…
- Don’t lie to me JiHo… I know you and JaeHyo have been together for a while…
- Oh…
- Kyung keeps me updated. We call each other once in a while.
- You keep contact with Kyung and don’t call me…

YongGuk shrugged, and finished his drink.

- I think I should go back home now.
- Yeah…
- It was nice seeing you JiHo.
- Yeah… Thank you.
- No problem.
- Let’s do that again another time… I’ll bring Kyung too, or else he’ll be too jealous.
- And bring JiHoon too. This kid has potential.
- Yeah but he’s still underage.

YongGuk laughed, and nodded.

- You’re right. Take care of them well then. And you too.

They smiled, and it felt like the old times. The only difference was that they were all going back home to their own ‘family’.  At different places, with different persons.
YongGuk waved to him as he left the place.

~*~

The living room’s light was still one when he entered the dorm. Kyung and JiHoon were watching TV. Kyung on the couch, and JiHoon on the floor. He smiled as he sat next to the maknae.

- Where were you? Asked Kyung.
- Had a drink with YongGuk Hyung.
- Oh…

He couldn’t see Kyung’s face, but he could easily picture him raising an eyebrow in expectation.

- And?
- And what? Nothing. We just talked. It was okay.
- That’s all?
- Yeah that’s all. What could happen?
- I don’t know.

JiHoon looked at him with a grin.

- Hyung next time you have to bring me along, I want to meet him. You always talk about him…
- Yeah… Me too. I want to see him… I haven’t…
- Don’t start Kyung, you call him every week. And didn’t even tell me.
- I don't call it once a week! Just... Sometimes...That’s…
- Leave it. I’ll bring both of you next time.

He stood up and walked to his room. JaeHyo was lying on his bed, watching something on his laptop.

- Oh you’re back?
- Yeah…
- Had fun?
- It was nice.

He changed in his pajamas and walked to JaeHyo, pushing him lightly in the shoulder.

- Move.

JaeHyo chuckled, and moved a bit, leaving enough space for JiHo to lie down next to him.
It was nice to be able to be with JaeHyo. Different from YongGuk, very different, but nice.
He moved closer, letting his head rest on JaeHyo’s shoulder

- I saw YongGuk today.

JaeHyo glanced at him.

- Oh…
- We talked a lot.
- How is he?
- He’s fine. They just finished their promotions so they’re having some free time.
- That’s nice.
- Yeah.

JaeHyo shifted closer to him, holding JiHo tightly against his side.

- We talked about… us. I mean… him and me.
- Oh….
- I just wanted to know what he thought about it… We never really talked about it. But… Seems like we made the right decision in the end.

He looked up to see JaeHyo staring at him, and smiled.

- Seems like he’s with HimChan now.
- Oh… HimChannie. He’s a nice guy.

JiHo nodded.

- Come on let’s sleep, I’m exhausted.

JaeHyo pushed his laptop away, and shifted to his side. Facing JiHo.

- You don’t regret it…
- What?
- Leaving him, them… your life before.
- No…. I wouldn’t change my place for anything in the world. I’m happy here.
- Even when… things like that happens? I mean… I know you’ve been very affected by what just happened… All this mess, your hair, JiHoon needing to go to the hospital.
- It’s ok…. I don’t mind. I want to do it.

JaeHyo nodded, and smiled.

- Ok. You know you’re not alone right.

JiHo smiled, and kissed him lightly.

- I know.