Paubaya
Paubaya“Honey, your sons and I already have suits. There is really no need for us to buy another.” Their father said in his usual calm tone.
“There’s really no difference in an office suit or a formal one, honey.” His father replies, a light chuckle escaping his lips.
Their mother, in her usual loud tone, replied, “It’s your parents’ seventy fifth wedding anniversary, Yoonseok. You three are not going there in your bland office suits.”
Smack! Through the mirror, Yoongi watched as their father rubbed the spot their mother had smacked him. “If you don’t want to do this then jump out of the car!” She exclaimed, glaring at the man beside her.
Yoongi smiled, shaking his head as his older brother sighed. “Mom, dad, come on, that’s enough. Nobody is jumping out of the car, okay?”
“Don’t scold me because I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s your stupid father who you should scold.” Their mother scoffed, placing her handbag in between her and their father to serve as a barrier.
“I was merely stating my opinion.” Their father said.
“No one asked for it.”
“Still, we live in a democratic country and I am allowed to share my opinion whenever I want to.”
“You—,” A groan escaped their mother’s lips. “I’m going to divorce you when we get back home.”
“I’ll have the lazy boy chair.” Their father responded.
Yoongi and his older brother, Yoonhyung, shared a look and both shook their heads.
It was very typical and normal for their parents to banter like there was no tomorrow. They used to hide it from them when they were little but as soon as they were able to understand that their arguments were just petty and the “divorce” that the two of them would occasionally bring up was nothing more but an empty threat because even though they get on each other’s nerves—they were truly, madly, deeply and irrevocably in love and had been for almost their life.
Their story was truly one for the books—from puppy love to husband and wife. Of course it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and they had their fair share of downpours but they kept their promise which they imparted on Yoongi and Yoonhyung which was to never go to sleep with a heavy heart and it had been the saviour of their relationship for almost five decades now.
“Why aren’t we going to Auntie Sunmi for the suits, mom? Are you two fighting again?” Yoonhyung asked as he took a left turn.
“Your Auntie Sunmi and I are fine. She just has so many things to do—with the wedding season and all—and so she recommended her apprentice. She says he’s really good and very polite.” Their mother replied.
“Where is the event taking place again?” Yoongi asked, speaking for the first time since they started driving to their destination.
“Our Lady of Lourdes. It’s the same church your mother and I got married at and where you two were baptized.” Their father answered to which Yoongi nodded.
“Have you two cleared your schedule? Yoonhyung, what about Nari and the kids? Don’t forget that before the renewal of vows, we’ll also be celebrating your grandmother’s eightieth birthday.”
“I already did, mom. Nari also filed a leave of absence already. The kids are fine too. Don’t worry about it.” His brother replied, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. “Why is this tailor in the middle of nowhere?”
“Yoongi?” His mother tapped his shoulder. “Your schedule?”
Yoongi nodded. “Yeah, I had it cleared for the event already, mom.”
“No plus one?” His father inquired which earned yet another smack from his mother.
“You’re unbelievable!” She shrieked.
“It’s fine, mom and no, dad. No plus one.”
“Dad, can I invite a friend for dinner this Saturday night?” Eight year old Yoongi asked, peeking his head into his father’s studio. He saw him by his usual place behind the pottery machine, hands covered in clay.
Through the glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, his father looked at him. “And who might this friend be?”
Yoongi blushed, stepping into the studio and placing his hands behind his back. “Y/N.” He said, blushing even harder when he said your name.
A smile spread across his father’s smile. “I see. I’m okay with it, buddy, but you have to ask mom’s permission as well, okay? It’s her day too.”
“I already did, Dad. She said it’s okay too.” Yoongi replied.
“Well, it’s settled then. Y/N is invited. Have you asked her yet?”
Yoongi shook his head. “I’ll probably ask her tomorrow at school during recess.”
His father nodded. “Alright. Go to sleep now so you won’t forget about asking Y/N to come.”
Yoongi smiled, nodding. “Yes, Father. Good night.”
“Good night, kiddo.”
//-//
Yoongi’s palms were sweaty and they never did before. His heart was beating so fast and so loud that he could hear it with his own ears and they never did before. He knew what nervousness felt like because he always got them whenever they would have a basketball game but it instantly faded away when he was on the court. This, however, was very unusual. He told himself as he got closer and closer to you that this was just another basketball game—you both were already at the gym anyway and once he crossed the line of the inbound, the nervousness would fade away.
Wrong.
It only became stronger.
“Dude, I can’t do this.” He told his best friend, Namjoon, turning on his heels only for Namjoon to spin him back and place his hands on his shoulders.
“Yes you can and you will. I told you I heard Kim Hanbin is planning to ask her out for the Winter Dance and she’s planning to say yes when it happens. If you don’t ask her out now—you won’t be able to ask her out ever again.” Namjoon pushed him forward which made him stumble but Yoongi managed to catch himself and he turned to glare at his grinning friend, his deep dimples etched on his cheeks. He mouthed, “Fighting!” before gesturing to him to go.
Yoongi sighed, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants as he realized he had crossed—with the help of Namjoon—the inbound line. It was now or never. Swallowing the thick lump in his throat, Yoongi started making his way towards you.
Your back was facing him. Your hair was tied into a high and messy ponytail with strands sticking everywhere, the singular Hello Kitty pin on top of your head not helping with the case either. You were still in your PE uniform and happily chatting away with your friends. Once he was near you, your friends gave him a teasing smile which caused him to smile and they told you that he was there, standing behind you.
Yoongi remembered the story of his father when he asked what he felt when he first saw his mother. He said, the sun rays landed perfectly on her and his heartbeat started to increase. His mouth seemed to dry, drier than a desert and he was just completely gobsmacked at how someone could be that beautiful.
It was exactly how he felt when you pushed yourself off of the floor and faced him. You had a huge smile on your face, but winced and held your cheek which had a Spongebob bandaid plastered on it. “Hey Yoongi!”
“H-Hey Y/N.” He was so nervous, he felt like he was melting.
“Is everything okay, Yoongs? You don’t look so well. Do you want me to take you to Nurse Im? I can take you.” You grabbed his hand which made him freeze. You tugged on it but Yoongi just couldn’t walk. “Yoongs?”
“Do you wanna have dinner with my family and I this Saturday night?” He blurted out, eyes wide and cheeks flushed in deep red. His entire body felt so hot.
You blinked your eyes rapidly at him then broke into a grin. “Well, I have to ask my father first. But I would love to, Yoongi. Is your mom cooking?”
Yoongi nodded, eyes flickering on your intertwined hands.
“Awesome. Your mom’s cooking is the best. You better pray that my father allows me to go, Yoongs!”
The bell rang which signalled the end of recess. “Oh no! I still haven’t changed out of my PE uniform. Ms. Bae will scold me if I come into her classroom wearing this—I’ll call you later for my answer, okay, Yoongs?” You said as you gathered your things in your arms. Still, you managed to ruffle his hair as you ran towards the comfort room. “You better not have any other plus one’s, Yoongs!” You called out, looking over your shoulder with that toothy grin on your face.
Yoongi smiled, shaking his head. “I promise!” He called out.
You gave him a thumbs up and then you disappeared inside the girls’ comfort room.
He remained frozen in place, smiling at his hand—the one you held—like an idiot.
“Min Yoongi, why aren’t you in class?” Supervisor Lee’s strict voice made Yoongi flinch. He clicked his tongue. “You’re on cleaning duty for a week, Min Yoongi.”
Normally, that would make Yoongi freak out because he was a good student for the most part and never really got himself into trouble but at that moment, he didn’t really care. The trouble was worth it.
Hope’s Tailoring Shop along with various colored and sized handprints were painted on the door of the bungalow type house before them. Yoongi put on his black baseball cap and stretched his arms out, hearing his bones crack. Their mother was the first to approach the shop and knocked on the door, pulling her shawl closer to her body.
“Mom, are you cold? Here, take my—,” Yoongi started, however he was cut off when the chime on the door sounded off and a slender but lean man opened the door, a kind smile plastered on his face.
“Hi, may I help you?” He asked.
“Is Jung Hoseok here? Yang Sunmi told us that he was a tailor and we wanted to ask if he could make suits for a wedding.” Their mother explained as Yoongi placed his jacket over her shoulders. She gave him a thankful smile and he nodded.
“Ah, you must be Park Gaeul then, ma’am. I’m Jung Hoseok, the tailor.” He bowed respectfully and they returned it. “Please come in. I apologize for the mess. We just moved in and I’m currently working here at home because my studio is being fixed right now.” He stepped aside as he widened the door for them to enter.
One by one, they all entered the house, leaving their shoes beside the door. Hoseok closed the door behind them. “My wife will be home soon. She just dropped by the wet market.”
“Oh, you’re married. That’s so lovely. How long?” Their mother asked as Hoseok gestured for them to sit.
Yoongi settled on the lone chair across from Hoseok, taking his cap off. “We got married last year but we’ve been together for two years before that.”
“How old is your daughter?” Yoonhyung asked. “I’ve got two. Ten and eight. One is already a handful enough, right?” He chuckled.
Hoseok nodded, smiling and Yoongi could clearly see just how much he loved his daughter. “She’s seven years old.”
“Oh, that’s a beautiful age.” Their mother gushed. “But you seem like you’re around my son Yoongi’s age.”
Hoseok looked at him. “May I ask your age?”
“I’m twenty seven.”
“I’m twenty seven too. I had Gaeul when I was twenty.” Hoseok said. “Oh, where are my manners? Would you like anything to drink? Eat?”
“Oh, it’s alright, son. There’s no need.” Their father replied, shaking his head. “But I really need to pee. Do you mind?”
“No, not at all. It’s down the hall to your right.”
Their father nodded, rising from where he was seated.
“Sunmi says you’re a really great tailor, Hoseok and that’s a big deal coming from her because she’s so hard to please.” Their mother said, affectionately patting Hoseok’s knee.
He bowed his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes. Sunmi sunbaenim is someone that I look up to. That’s very flattering to know. I hope I can be of help. What kind of suits are you thinking about wearing?”
“Well, I just don’t really want them to look like they’re attending a company dinner. It’s my in-laws’ eightieth wedding anniversary and the theme they chose is nature since eightieth anniversaries are known as “oak”. Perhaps, suits from the shade of brown?”
Yoongi turned out their conversation and looked at his surroundings instead. There were still boxes stacked neatly on the side and the walls were still bare, his gaze following the cracks. The kitchen was fully stacked, plates and glasses neatly placed inside the cabinet and placed on the refrigerator door (held by a tomato magnet) was a drawing of what Yoongi guessed was Hoseok’s family.
The place really gave off the feeling of home and in the pit of his stomach—Yoongi felt envious. Despite being a successful lawyer and being able to live in a nice apartment, he never really felt like it was home. It was always cold even in summer time but it wasn’t because of the air-conditioning. As he basked in Hoseok’s home, the envy just grew more and more.
They were the same age but lived a completely different life. Hoseok was living the life that Yoongi had always wanted. A humble home with the love of his life and kids at a quiet town away from the bustling city. He felt bitter because he almost had it. He really did. Only for it to be brutally taken from him.
“Yoongs, hey. Earth to Yoongi.” His brother’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Hm?” He hummed in response. “Sorry, I was just thinking about a case. What was the question?”
“Your mother was asking if you preferred a three-piece suit or the classic is fine?” Hoseok asked.
“Oh, I see. The classic is fine. I don’t think I look that good in—,”
“Hobi? I didn’t know we had visitors. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Yoongi froze like he did all those years ago when he asked you out, only this time, you did too. It was like everything came to a stop and it was only you and him in the room. Your gazes held each other, basking in everything that changed and didn’t change. She was still just as beautiful and radiant as ever. She was also very much pregnant.
“Babe, you’re home. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you we had guests coming over. I wasn’t really expecting them to come until next week.” Hoseok walked over to you, grabbing the eco-bag in your hand as he placed a kiss on your temple. “Ms. Park, Yoonhyung, Yoongi—this is Y/N, my wife.”
“Auntie, Yoonhyung.” You breathed out, eyes widening at the sight of his mother and brother. Yoongi tore his gaze from you and placed it on his family. He could tell that his mother was keeping herself composed while his brother awkwardly smiled at you.
“Wait, you know them, Y/N?” Hoseok asked, genuinely sounding confused.
“Y/N, is that you?” That was their father. “You’re pregnant—well, I hope you are, otherwise I’m an idiot for assuming you are just because your belly is round.”
He saw the way your eyes glistened with tears at the appearance of his father. He watched as you hugged him, resting your head against his shoulder. His heart ached.
“There, there.” His father comforted you.
“Yoonseok,” Their mother said in a curt tone. “Let’s go.”
Yoongi shut his eyes, overwhelmed at the sudden situation he was in.
“Hon, it’s been four years—,”
Their mother scoffed in disbelief. “Are you really taking her side over your own son?”
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, hon.” Their father answered calmly.
“Really? Cos it sure as hell looks like it. Look at you—instead of being by your son’s side, you’re comforting the very reason why your son is broken!”
“Mom, that’s enough.” Yoongi finally spoke, rising from his seat. He held his mother’s gaze, pleading for her to stop. “That’s enough.”
She shook her head, wiping away the tears that escaped her eyes. She made her way out, Yoonhyung following her closely behind.
He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “.” He breathed out.
“Yoongi…”
There it was again. His stupid heart beating so fast just at the mere sound of his name rolling off your tongue. Four years had passed and you still had that effect on him.
“Don’t.” He said, his lips as he finally faced you again. He looked at your belly and —he felt like he was shattered all over again. He couldn’t help but to scoff, shaking his head as he rubbed his face with his hands.
“I’m so so sor—,”
“I don’t need an apology, Y/N.” Your name felt so foreign in his tongue. He never really called you by your name unless it was a serious talk. You were always “baby” or “sweetie” or “idiot” for nine years. It felt so wrong.
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Hoseok asked, eyebrows furrowed. “My wife is pregnant and this situation is not helping her at all. You’re endangering her health and our baby’s.”
“I apologize, Hoseok. We don’t—,”
“We’ll be on our way.” Yoongi cut his father off, placing his cap back on.
He grabbed his father’s arm, ready to drag him out when you whispered, “I’m so sorry, Yoongi.”
“He doesn’t even know,” He told you, sighing deeply. “Was I a bad memory that you wanted to forget? A memory not worth remembering?”
“No, no, you’re not. Yoongi, you’ll never be a bad memory.” You rushed out, hand wanting to reach for him but you recoiled—Hoseok wrapping an arm around your waist.
“Really? Because it sure as hell feels like it.”
Fifteen year old Min Yoongi opened the door only to be instantly hugged by you. He chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist while he grabbed your bag. “Mom, dad and hyung are out. They’re buying him things to bring once he moves to his dormitory.” Yoongi said as you took off your shoes and stacked them inside the shoe rack.
“When is oppa leaving again?” You asked, following Yoongi into the living room where a bowl of assorted chips, a homemade cheese dip and two cans of Coke were already set.
“Last week of August. His classes start in September. Don’t eat the chips for—Y/N, seriously. You need to wash your hands first.” Yoongi groaned out, placing your backpack on the sofa next to where you were already seated.
You flashed him a grin and Yoongi rolled his eyes, flopping down next to you. Instantly, you curled up next to him and he wrapped an arm around you. “Are you going to miss your brother once he’s in college?” You asked, looking up at Yoongi, resting your chin on his shoulder.
“I guess. He’s been in my life everyday ever since I could remember, you know? Besides you and Namjoon, he’s my best friend.” He admitted, smiling down at you. “Are you gonna miss him?”
“Of course. He’s my favorite Min.” You stuck your tongue at him which made him roll his eyes and playfully shove you off of him. He scooted away from you, which made you laugh out loud and God—Yoongi thought he never heard anything more beautiful. “Yooooooongs, you know I’m joking. You’re my favorite, of course!”
You had always been very strong so when you pulled him towards you, Yoongi ended up falling on top of you. Both your eyes widened and Yoongi immediately pushed himself off of you, feeling himself getting hot. He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to do or say.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize I’m that strong.” You said after a moment of silence.
“It’s okay,” He breathed out then cleared his throat. “Wanna watch now?” You nodded, bringing your legs closer to your chest and caging them with your arms. “You know, I’ve lost count on how many times we watched Narnia.”
“Then start counting again cos we’ll watch it again next week.” You replied, opening your can of Coke.
“Uh no, it’s my turn next week. Rules are rules.” Yoongi said, pressing the play button on the remote.
You motioned for him to come closer so he did. “It reminds me of her.” You told him in a hushed tone.
“Of who?” Yoongi asked as you rested your head against his shoulder.
“The one who gave birth to me. She used to read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to me as a kid. Reenacted it and all.” You explained, making grabby hands at the chips.
Yoongi reached for it and placed it on his lap while you held the dip. “Watching it reminds me that she had her moments where it seemed like she really did want me.” She smiled at you. “Sorry for being sappy.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Y/N. You can always be sappy with me.” Yoongi said, poking your cheek.
Your eyes glistened which took Yoongi aback. You really didn’t cry a lot and if you did—it was because you were laughing too much. “I love you, Yoongi.”
His insides twisted into the most beautiful ways. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered that made him feel like he was floating. He swallowed the lump in his throat, mouth parting to speak but it suddenly felt dry.
“, you don’t feel the same way, don’t you? It’s fine. Just forget about it. It doesn’t—,” You started to say but Yoongi cut you off.
“I love you, Y/N, ever since I could remember.” He said softly, reaching to touch your cheek.
“You’re just saying that because you feel bad and you’re a nice guy.” You pouted, pushing yourself off of him.
“What? I’m not! It’s true.” Yoongi exclaimed, eyes widening.
“Sure.” You snorted, placing the cheese dip back on the table and then crossing your arms.
Yoongi smiled, shaking his head as he scooted closer to you. “Y/N, I promise you that I’m not lying.” He placed his hand on top of yours that was resting on her knees. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
He noticed the way your cheeks blushed and you looked at him, biting your lower lip. “If you’re lying, Min Yoongi, I will kick you so hard in the face while you’re sleeping.”
“Let me prove it to you then.” He said.
“How?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Yoongi grinned. “Will you go on a date with me?”
//-//
“Where are you taking me, you idiot? What’s with the blindfold?” You asked, the irritation clearly evident in your tone which reminded him so much of his mother.
“We’re almost there. Be patient, Y/N.” He replied, leading you carefully towards the picnic he had set up by the lake (with the help of his mother, of course).
“It’s so quiet. This is exactly the place serial killers lurk, Yoongs.” You muttered.
“You really know how to spoil a moment, huh, Y/N.” Yoongi said as he took off your blindfold and stepped aside to see your reaction. He smiled when he saw your eyes widened in delight at the majestic view before the two of you—the city reflected onto the water, a dark purple hue coating the entire scenery. Tilting your head to look at him, you breathed out, “How did you? I mean, we’re not allowed here.”
Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “Dad knows the association’s chairman and helped pull a few strings. Said we needed to do a project.”
You laughed, throwing your head back. “Did you really make your father lie just so you could take me here?”
He flushed. “Do you not like it? We can—,”
“Yoongs, I love it. I really do. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” You rushed to him, wrapping your arms around your neck as you laid your head on his shoulder.
His arms immediately wrapped around your waist. “Anything for you.”
“Can we go eat now? I’m starving.” You mumbled which made Yoongi laugh affectionately.
“Of course. Mom and I made our favorites.”
“God, I love your mom.”
“She loves you too.”
//-//
“Do you ever wanna get out of this town, Yoongs?” You asked.
The two of you were now lying on the picnic blanket, empty dishes stowed away inside the basket. Your head was on Yoongi’s arm, while he was lying on his other arm that was tucked beneath his head. It was darker now and in an hour, the two of you had to go back but Yoongi dreaded it. He didn’t want to go—not just yet.
“I like our town. I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life here. Why? Do you want to leave?” Yoongi asked, facing you.
You flipped and laid across your stomach, elbows propped on the ground as support when you rested your chin on your palms. “The world is so big, Yoongs. The other day, Dad was showing me these pictures of him and Mom. They used to travel a lot because of work. They’ve been everywhere, Yoongs. The US, Australia, Africa, Europe—everywhere. When I was listening to him as he narrated the stories on every photograph, I realized that the world is big for a reason and I want to see as much of it as I can before my time is over.”
He loved seeing the way your eyes spark whenever you would talk about something that you love and were passionate about. He already knew you were beautiful but there was something about the way you looked when you were pouring your heart out. He reached his hand out to tuck the strand of hair behind your ear. “Can I join you when you finally get to travel the world? I promise I won’t be an idiot.”
You smiled widely, nodding. “Of course you can. We’ll start small—Seoul first then our neighboring countries before we set out on the Western world. I really wanna go to Greece.”
“Okay. Seoul, neighboring countries and then Greece. We’ll go to all those places when we’re older.” Yoongi promised. “But what happens after we visit them all? Where would we go?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t figured out that part yet.” You said, chuckling.
“I’m fine with everywhere as long as you’re there.”
“Me too.”
Then, he looked at you—really looked at you for the first time tonight. You didn’t really change the way you dressed up for your date which Yoongi understood because he didn’t really have a say in it and he loved you no matter if you were sweaty and dirty from playing soccer (even though you at it) or when you were covered in grease from helping your father at his auto shop. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?”
You bit your lip. “I might be bad at it.” You whispered and Yoongi’s heart beat so fast that he was sure it was going to jump out of his chest.
“Me too. Why don’t we be bad at it together?”
“Okay.” You breathed out, nodding.
Yoongi sat up, as you did and for a moment—the two of you just stared at each other, unsure of what to do which made the both of you laugh. “Let’s just wing it.” You said.
Yoongi nodded, holding your face in his hands as he leaned in and you closed your eyes, hands gripping the hem of your shirt. Then, he felt it—that same fluttering feeling in his stomach that made him feel like he was floating when Yoongi’s lips finally landed on yours. Everything felt perfect. Your lips were soft and tasted of the soda you were drinking just a while ago. He relied on his instinct as he moved his lips against yours and you followed, your hands moving to hold onto his arms. Everything felt so right about that moment and he never wanted it to stop—but when a bright light suddenly flashed on the two of you, the both of you jumped in surprise.
“Ah, well, if it’s Min and Y/L/N. Sorry to interrupt your date, love birds but you should get out of here before I detain the two of you for trespassing.” It was Mr. Do, the caretaker of the reservoir.
“But Mr. Do, we have a permit.” You whined.
“I don’t give a , Y/N. Gather your things and I’ll drop you both off to your respective houses. There won’t be any funny business happening tonight.”
The both of you blushed and did as you were told. When the two of you were now inside Mr. Do’s car, you would occasionally steal glances at one another and silently laugh. Moments later, Mr. Do parked outside your house. “Thanks for tonight, Yoongs. I’ll see you tomorrow at school?”
Yoongi nodded. “Yeah, see you tomorrow at school. Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night. Good night to you too, Mr. Do and thanks for the ride!” You leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek before you practically leapt out of the vehicle.
Yoongi hurriedly doved and scrolled down the window, peeking his head and arm out as he waved, “I love you, Y/N!”
He watched as you laughed, hugging your Dad who was also smiling at Yoongi. The night didn’t end the way he wanted it to—with him walking you home just to slip in more time with you—but for him, it was one of the best nights of his life.
“She’s married?” Namjoon’s eyes looked like they were about to jump out of his sockets because of how shocked he was at Yoongi’s revelation. Jungkook, on the other hand, looked so confused as he finished his ramen.
“Who’s married, hyung?” Jungkook asked, his doe eyes big and expectant of an answer.
“Who else, Jungkook? Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend of nine years is married.” Taehyung replied, placing the plate of pork belly on the table as he sat down beside Jungkook.
“The one who turned down his proposal?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.
Taehyung smacked the back of his head, glaring at the youngest. “You don’t know how to filter that damn mouth of yours, huh?”
Namjoon pressed his lips into a thin line, gaze lingering on Yoongi who was on his way to finishing his third Soju for the night in just under two hours. He gave Taehyung a look who instantly understood it and cautiously grabbed the bottle away from Yoongi’s grasp. The oldest sighed. “I have no plans on getting wasted tonight, Joon. I have a trial tomorrow.”
“Are you okay?” His best friend of twenty seven years asked, his tone calming but it made Yoongi’s throat swell.
He took a deep breath, gulping down an entire glass of Soju. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know, Yoongi. I’m not you, that’s why I’m asking.”
Yoongi lifted his head and held Namjoon’s gaze. “I feel like utter . A complete, ing utter , Joon. Four years since she left without so much as a single sentence why and then I see her after all this time—married and pregnant. I feel like absolute , Kim Namjoon.”
“She’s pregnant too?” Taehyung asked, shaking his head. “, hyung, I’m so—,”
“I don’t need anyone’s apology.” He snapped, slamming his hand on the table which caused the two youngest to jump on their seats in surprise. Yoongi suddenly felt bad. “I’m sorry. I’m just—I’m going to bed.”
//-//
But he didn’t.
Instead, Yoongi drove far away from the bustling city of Seoul and he really should’ve picked some place else but the reservoir in his hometown had always been a source of comfort for him even before he took you there on your first date. It was easy for him to enter the place now. Mr. Do was still the caretaker and he visited from time to time that he just let Yoongi inside without asking why.
Growing up in a small town, miles away from the main city, everyone knew everyone. It had its advantages and disadvantages, too. The advantage being the entire community feeling like they were one big family which Yoongi always admired. He remembered the times their neighbor, Ms. Ryu, would come over to their house and borrow their vacuum because hers was broken or when Mr. Yu borrowed one of his father’s tools to fix their sink. On the other hand, being in a small town also meant news spread fast.
When you and Yoongi officially became a couple just before the start of your sophomore year in high school, the entire town had one thing to say—they saw it coming. They likened your love story with that of Yoongi’s parents and they loved it so much. It was a fairytale, they said, and back then—Yoongi wholeheartedly agreed.
As if the two of you weren’t close before, when you became a couple—it was as though the two of you became one body, one mind and one soul. You did everything together, experienced highs and lows together. You saw each other through the best times and became witness of the ugliest, messiest and worst parts of your life. Through it all, neither of you left—keeping the same promise that Yoongi’s parents did all these years and that was to never go to sleep with a heavy heart.
The both of you were twenty four, fresh out of college and Yoongi started his second semester at law school already. He was accepted earlier than most—before he marched and got his diploma—because of his stellar grades and brilliant interview. He had been thinking about proposing since the beginning of junior year but since the two of you got busy with just college life and job prospects in general, the thought had been buried in Yoongi’s mind. Until, when the two of you went home to pay respects on your father’s death anniversary.
While the two of you shared an apartment in Seoul, back at home, his mother was still very much strict and did not let the two of you share a room. However, just like when you were teenagers, Yoongi would sneak inside his room where you slept and lay there until the sun rose when he needed to go back downstairs so you wouldn’t get busted.
That night, Yoongi held you in his arms, as always with your head resting on his chest and your fingers intertwined across his stomach. The two of you did it so many times before but that night—Yoongi could just think of one thing: I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman.
So, once you two were back in Seoul, with the savings he had, he brought Namjoon and his then girlfriend Somi to a jewelry store and bought an engagement ring—something that wasn’t flashy because he knew you didn’t like those kinds of things but something that was just you. Simple, classic and elegant.
He was going to do it on his grandparents’ wedding anniversary, and already told his family about his plan which they were very much eager to help out with. Yoongi didn’t feel an ounce of nervousness, if he was being honest, because at that time, he was so sure that you would say yes. So when he got down on one knee while the two of you danced in the middle of the town’s plaza where everyone was looking and asked you to marry him—he immediately grabbed your hand, ready to slip the finger into your ring finger but then you pulled your hand away and looked at him with a mortified expression on your face.
He remembered how your lips trembled, a single tear rolling down your cheek before you ran away, leaving him down on one knee, a collective gasp of everyone in your hometown and a changed man.
“You know if you weren’t a lawyer and I didn’t need your help, I would have hit you with my bat for drinking on my reservoir.” Mr. Do sat down beside Yoongi, turning his flashlight off and placing it beside him. “When people drink, it’s always either of these two things—you want to forget something or you just really crave the taste of it. Which one are you?”
Yoongi took a deep breath before shrugging his shoulders. “Can’t it be both?” He looked at Mr. Do. He was the only person in the entire town that didn’t say I’m sorry to him when you ran away at the proposal and the only person who didn’t say anything bad about you because you ran away at the proposal. Suddenly, he was overcome with emotions and he sobbed. “She’s married.”
“Y/N?” He asked, surprised. Yoongi nodded, the can of beer in his hand slipping from his grip and falling on the ground.
Yoongi shook his head, head hanging low as his tears fell on the ground. Mr. Do rubbed his back. “I just—I don’t understand. She—She turned me down but—but then she’s—she’s married and pregnant.”
He sniffed, raising his head and wiped his tears with his shirt before facing Mr. Do. “I don’t ing understand how she could do that. We’ve—We’ve been together for nine years and then—and then just like that, she was gone. No explanations. Nothing. For four ing years, I’ve been living like I’m already dead while she—she made a new life for herself, married someone and started a family with him. Did the thing that I pictured us to be.”
“I do not have the answers you seek, Yoongi. She does. Why don’t you ask her?” Mr. Do said, offering a kind smile. “You know, the length of the time that you know someone doesn’t mean that you know everything about them. Change is a constant and endless cycle. People change everyday. No one is ever the same person that they were yesterday.”
“I just love her so much and it hurts. It hurts knowing there was a point in our relationship where I was the only one holding onto the dreams, the plans that we made while she was slowly letting go.” Yoongi bit his lower lip, chest heaving.
“Talk to her, Yoongi.” He urged.
“I don’t think I can.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I can see her again.”
“One way or another, you are going to see her again. We don’t really lose the people we love, Yoongi. We just take different paths and someday, our paths will cross again. Would you rather face the truth now and then finally be able to move forward or prolong the ache until it’s too late?”
The plaza was beautiful during the nighttime. With the lights hanging above, several booths lined up on the street and the people of Gurim enjoying the time of their lives in the celebration of Min Yoonseo and Lee Kahi seventy seventh wedding anniversary. Little kids chased each other while blowing bubbles and music ranging from decades ago to modern ones filled the air. Now, Yoongi had just finished telling Namjoon that it was time and his best friend spoke into the mic. “Alright, people of Gurim, it’s that time—ladies and gentlemen, grab that special someone and make this night the most special night of their lives by dancing with them. Please make sure to make a room for our dear Min Yoonseo and Lee Kahi who are celebrating their seventy-seventh wedding anniversary!”
Instantly, the people who didn’t want to dance made space for those who did and in the sea of people, Yoongi made his way to you who was helping a little girl with her ponytail. Yoongi smiled and tapped your shoulder. You looked over your shoulder and smiled back. “Hey you.”
“Once you’re done, may I have this dance?” He asked, holding his palm out.
“Unnie, is he the prince charming you’re talking about? He’s very pretty!” The little girl said, giggling.
Yoongi smiled widely. “You’re very pretty.” He said, placing a hand on your back.
“There you go, Minji. You’re all set.” You said, patting Minji’s cheek affectionately.
“Thank you, unnie! Bye, prince charming!” She exclaimed before running off.
Yoongi stepped in front of you. “So I’m prince charming?”
You shook your head. “You’re an idiot.”
“But will you let this idiot have a dance with the prettiest girl in town?” He asked.
“If he promises to buy me ice cream then why not.” You shrugged. Yoongi laughed and you grabbed his hand. “I would love to dance with you, Yoongi.”
Yoongi led you to where the rest of the people were dancing. A song, Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley, was playing and Yoongi placed his hand on your waist while you placed yours on his shoulders. He smiled at you as the both of you swayed to the rhythm of the song which wasn’t really the first time the both of you danced to.
Late nights in your small Seoul apartment when neither of you couldn’t sleep, you would always put it on and invite Yoongi to dance. It was one of his favorite memories with you.
“Of all songs, this is the one Namjoon played. Funny, right?” You asked, shaking your head.
“Perhaps it’s meant to be that way.” Yoongi replied.
“Yeah?”
Yoongi nodded and pulled you closer to him, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much, Y/N.”
Your grip on his shoulders tightened. “Don’t talk. Let’s just dance, please.” You whispered, laying your head on his chest as your arms wrapped around his neck.
“Baby, I have to ask you something.” Yoongi said as the song picked up.
“Can’t you ask me later?” You asked with a sigh. “I just want this memory to be quiet.”
Yoongi pulled away, grabbing your face. “This can’t wait until later, Y/N. I have to ask this now.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. “Yoongi, what are you—,”
Yoongi got down on one knee and the people around them gasped. Your eyes widened and you took a step back. Yoongi smiled, pulling out the velvet box from his jacket pocket. “Y/N, I didn’t really prepare a speech because, well, I couldn’t really put into words just how much I love you and I didn’t want you to tell our kids that I persuaded you to marry me with my words so… I promise, I’ll make it up to you everyday for the rest of our life but for now, these are the only words I can ask you: will you marry me?”
Your eyes glistened with tears as he took your hand and about to slip the ring in your ring finger when you pulled it back, a mortified expression etched on your face. Yoongi felt like he had been punched. Your lips trembled, a single tear rolling down your cheek and then—you ran off.
Yoongi didn’t know how long he stayed kneeling on the ground, when the music stopped and the night ended. He didn’t know how he got back to his old room and eventually back to your shared apartment in Seoul where you were nowhere in sight—not even your clothes or toiletries.
You were gone and Yoongi was left with a ring and a shattered heart.
The weeks went by in a blink of an eye and before he knew it—he was back on the doorstep of your home and in front of your husband, Hoseok, with a little girl standing behind him, eyeing Yoongi curiously.
“Hobi, who is it?” He heard your voice and it took all the strength he could muster not to be weakened by it.
Hoseok pressed his lips into a thin line and widened the door, stepping aside so you could see him. You were wearing a pair of black pajamas and an oversized shirt but your belly was still visible. You looked so beautiful, face glowing and it hurt him so much but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from you. He missed you so much.
“Yoongs…”
“Can we—Can we talk?” Yoongi asked, his eyes flickering between you and Hoseok.
You looked at your husband who smiled and nodded. “Nari, mommy has a visitor and they need to talk so we’ll go to Uncle Jimin’s first, okay?” Hoseok picked up the little girl. “I’m just going to grab her coat and shoes. Come inside, slippers are in there.”
Yoongi nodded. “Thank you.” He told Hoseok.
Yoongi stepped inside your home, taking his shoes off and grabbing a pair of slippers. He looked around and saw the clear changes from the last time he was there. The walls were painted yellow, lights installed and boxes stowed away. Picture frames stood on top of the fireplace and above it was a portrait of you, wearing a simple white dress, Hoseok in a suit and the little girl, Nari, was standing in front of you, holding your hands as the three of you smiled in front of the camera.
“Do you want anything to drink? Coffee?”
He shook his head. “I don’t drink it anymore.”
You nodded. “That’s—That’s good to know. You always drank so much.” You walked towards the couch, a hand on your back.
“Do you need help?” Yoongi asked, rushing towards you.
You shook your head, smiling at him. “It’s okay. It’s just a couple of steps, Yoongs.”
He pressed his lips together and followed you closely as you sat down on the couch, letting out a sigh. Hoseok emerged from the hallway. “We’ll be at Jimin’s. Just call if you need anything, okay?”
You nodded. “Okay. Drive safe, okay?”
Once Hoseok and Nari were out, silence hung in the air. Yoongi felt so out of place, clenching his fists inside his pockets. “You can sit down, Yoongs.”
“It’s fine, I won’t be long. I just—,” He finally faced you. “I just came here to ask you why. I don’t want to hear an apology but an explanation because I—I deserve that much, Y/N, no matter how brutal your truth is.”
You placed a hand on your belly. “You’re right. You deserve an explanation, Yoongi. But I can’t say it without telling you how sorry I am because I know—I know just how much I hurt you that night. I’m so sorry.”
It was quiet, where you lived and it reminded Yoongi of your hometown. “When did everything change for you?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I just woke up one day and—and the scariest thing happened which was the realization that—that my love for you wasn’t the same as before.”
It was like a stab in the heart. “Why? Why did it change? Was I not good enough?”
“No! God, no, Yoongs. You—You’re perfect.” You said, closing your eyes.
“Then why? What did I do to make you love me less and then not anymore?”
“Everything just became too much, Yoongs. People’s expectations from our relationship was too much. I felt like—I felt like I was living my life for them… for us. I—I felt like my whole world revolved around you and it made me feel so trapped. Like I couldn’t breathe. Without you, there wouldn’t be Y/N. I was always your girlfriend, Yoongs. People didn’t see me as just Y/N.”
That felt like another stab. “Why—Why didn’t you tell me then? That it was how you felt. We could’ve talked about it, fixed it.”
You shook your head. “Because I was selfish, Yoongs. I know you. If I told you, you would go to the ends of the world to find a solution and if you didn’t find a way for us to be together. You would tell me that we should part ways, to let me live my own life apart from yours and I couldn’t—I couldn’t do it then because I needed you.”
“You needed me but you didn’t love me.” Yoongi stated and you didn’t refute. He placed his hands on his waist. “Did you already start loving him then?”
You shook your head. “I met him three years ago. We were volunteering at the same elderly home and he was making clothes and blankets for the elderly there.”
He didn’t miss the way you spoke about Hoseok. He knew it very well because you used to talk about him that way. And that was another stab.
“Why did you marry him and not me?” He looked at the picture frames and—another stab. He saw the various backgrounds of the photos. Seoul, neighboring countries, Greece. “, Y/N, why did you actualize our dreams with him and not me?” He laughed emptily because it was all he could do as to not let the pain take over him.
“I just knew that it was him, Yoongs. The moment I met him—it was like I’ve known him my whole life.”
“And me? Where was I your whole life?”
You didn’t speak.
He exhaled deeply. “Are you happy?” He didn’t want to ask but always, he knew he would care deeply about you.
You were crying as you nodded. “I am, Yoongs. I really am.”
Yoongi approached you and leaned down, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “I wanted to hate you but I couldn’t. I love you so much, Y/N, but if he makes you happy—,” He swallowed back the sob. “If he makes you happy then that’s all that matters.”
“I’m sorry, Yoongi.”
He shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize for falling out of love with me.” He pulled out the envelope in his coat pocket and handed it to you. “It’s grandpa and grandma’s eightieth wedding anniversary. They would love it if you could come with Hoseok and Nari.”
“Yoongi, I can’t—,”
“Then don’t go. But I’m telling you that you’re welcome.”
“Go on, Nari, Daddy will follow soon. Uncle Yoongi and I just need to talk.” Hoseok said, kissing Nari on the cheeks before the little girl ran towards their house. Once she was inside, Hoseok stood back up and kept a short distance from Yoongi. “I don’t know what happened between you and Y/N, not truly because only the two of you will ever know what really happened. But, I just want you to know that when I met Y/N—she was so broken. She pushed me away so many times and she didn’t just fall in love right after whatever happened to the two of you. I had to go back again and again to her grocery store and buy things I didn’t even need just to make her say yes on a single date.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “She didn’t replace you.”
Yoongi nodded. “Can I be honest with you?” He tilted his head to face the man. Hoseok nodded. “That doesn’t really make me feel any better.” Hoseok smiled, lowering his gaze. Yoongi swallowed the lump in his throat, furrowing his eyebrows. “Can you do me a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Take care of her.” Yoongi smiled. “Make her happy for the rest of the days you two will spend together. Don’t hurt her and make her cry because—because she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t want the world but she deserves it so much. And, here—,” He walked over to his car, unlocking it and then opening the passenger door. Yoongi reached for the envelope on his dashboard and then closed his door. He stood beside Hoseok, handing him the envelope. “They’re tickets for Greece, everything’s paid already and you guys just need to show up.”
Hoseok shook his head. “Yoongi, I can’t—,”
“Please.” Yoongi said, grabbing Hoseok’s hand and placing the envelope on his palm. “It’s her dream destination and she deserves it. If she ever needs to be hospitalized but God forbid it happens, it’s already taken care of too. Please, just do this.” For me. Just do this for me, please.
Yoongi patted his shoulder and he didn’t need to say anything else because Hoseok knew. So, he nodded.
Yoongi slid inside his car as Hoseok went inside his home. He watched as he greeted you with a kiss on the lips and a tight hug. His heart twisted at the way you looked at him. He imagined that Hoseok was him and it was him that you were looking at with so much love and so much adoration. Just like how you did before.
He started his engine and drove off, his hand consciously holding onto the ring that became the pendant of the necklace around his neck. He held it tight.
I’m now entrusting her to you.
“Babe? Are you still up?” You whispered, shaking Yoongi’s arm slightly.
He groaned, turning over to face you. One eye open, he asked, “I am now. Can’t sleep?” He asked, voice hoarse.
You shook your head. “Come with me.” You said, smiling down at him.
Yoongi shook his head as he let you pull him off the bed. “Wait, I have to put on my shirt.”
“It’s fine, Yoongs.” You said, leading him outside your bedroom and into the living room. “Don’t open the lights, just the blinds.”
Yoongi did as he was told while you went through the vinyl records that were once your father’s, tripping on the way. “Hey, you okay? We should really open—,”
“No, I’m fine, come here.” You laughed as Yoongi walked towards you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as you put on the vinyl on the player. Moments later, Elvis Presley’s voice singing Can’t Help Falling In Love played softly around your small apartment. “Dance with me?” You asked.
“Always.” Yoongi replied, spinning you around and making you laugh. You wrapped your arms around his neck while he placed his hands on your waist. “You look beautiful.”
“You do too.”
“Are you happy, baby?” Yoongi asked, leaning down to rest his forehead on yours.
“Very happy. Thank you for dancing with me.”
“I’ll dance with you if it’s the last thing I do.” He declared, moving down to capture your lips.
It was all he ever needed. You, Elvis Presley on the record, in the comfort of your apartment that was home. It didn’t matter if it was three in the morning and he had an eight am class. If dancing in the middle of the night was making you happy then he would gladly do it over and over again. He was willing to sacrifice everything for you if it meant securing your happiness because you deserved it—more than anyone else.
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