Whenever Seungwan feels sad, she remembers playing hide-and-seek with Seulgi.

They used to play the game all around the neighbourhood when they were little. There was this one time that she hadn’t been able to find Seulgi for such a long time that she feared the worst, so in her panic, she did what any seven-year-old would do. It was late in the evening by the time police finally arrived. Her mother held her crying daughter in her arms while a few men and a frantic Mr. Kang searched the area. It was over in minutes because they found Seulgi near a riverbank where a small portion of the ground had collapsed under her. Crystal dew-drops dried the instant Seungwan saw her best friend finally rescued. How scary it must’ve been to be alone and trapped for hours on end was something she couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

When one of the policemen offered her his hand to hold while asking if she was alright, little Seulgi simply nodded and brushed it to the side. Seungwan watched in awe.

“Ddeulgi!” she cried out, throwing herself at Seulgi and holding her tight. “I was so scared, I thought something bad happened!”

“Don’t be scared, Wannie, I’m alright!” Seulgi gently pries the sniffling nose away from her dirt-smudged Pororo T-shirt and gazes over glassy, tear-filled eyes. “Ah, you know why I wasn’t scared?”

“W-Why?”

Seulgi plants a cheeky kiss on Seungwan’s head. “Because I knew you were coming to find me!” Despite having been so cold and alone, Seulgi’s grin seems to get even warmer. 

Seungwan looks down at bruised, ruddy knees, the stinging cuts strewn across wounded palms, and at that moment she decides that her childhood friend is the best actress she’s ever known.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And this is still true.

When they’re at school, Seulgi is exemplary. Every day, her character becomes more polished; she’s courteous and generous in offering to help their teachers carry workbooks to the staffroom, she’s the star of the volleyball team and hasn’t been late for attendance once. When she returns home, her mask of gold gets even shinier during the grotesque domestic wars her mother and father concert at dinnertimes. This particular night, their dining room feels like a theatre; dramatic chaos and darkened rage exploding onstage, seeping into everyone’s faces. Seulgi observes her father’s muddy tears, the quivering fist clenched by her mother’s side and her brother’s disconnected stare before sighing and calmly picking at the plate of pickled radishes.

It’s been so long in the making, she can’t remember when her family began falling apart.

“How could you be so selfish!” Their father screams, “You promised you weren’t seeing him anymore!”

“Why shouldn’t I?” The woman retorts defensively, slamming her hands onto the table and rattling the dishes. “Do you think I haven’t tried to stay away, hm? You have no idea how long I’ve tried! I’m keeping this family from sinking, do you know how much pressure I’m under? But I can’t keep pretending to care when all of you drove me to this!” She paces up and down like a tyrant, glaring maniacally at Seulgi, then her brother and father. 

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