—

 

“You've been staying there all the time?” Heechul flinched when he heard that voice, he came back.

He was laying onto the floor and his body was in pain. He didn't even look up to meet the other's eyes instead he just chuckled and shutting his eyes tightly.

“Look at you! Get up and clean yourself” He commanded but Heechul, for the second time ignored him

Leeteuk knelt down and grabbed him by wrist that made Heechul cried.

“It hurts!” He yelled at him but Leeteuk ignored him and guiding him to stand up

Fresh bruises and dry blood could be seen on his pale body. Leeteuk beats him, again. They fought, cursing, screams can be heard inside of their apartment and Leeteuk ended up beating him.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Heechul said, trembling while his boyfriend was guiding him inside of their bedroom

“I told you i don't want to hurt you but you keep doing the things i didn't like. You're such—” Heechul cut him off and pulled away his hand

“Just say you don't trust me that's why you keep hurting me. You keep saying those things but you always ended up hurting me. You can't even keep your words so don't say those s ever again.” Heechul defended, went straight to the bathroom and locked himself.

He just wanted to be alone and clear his ed up mind. He was been trying to be good but the more he tried, the more pain he gets.

“I love him” He murmured, burying his face and tears started to fall again.

He was tired, ed up and wanted to be free but he couldn't—he loves him.

“I can't leave him”

Pain, bruises, harsh words were still visible and on his mind—it kept replaying as if those words from Leeteuk was a music. They never left.

“Chul, come outside and let's sleep. Let me ease your pain” Leeteuk softly said, Heechul could feel that the man was more calmed now.

“I'm not going sleep next to you!” Heechul spat, leaning his back against the cold wall.

“Chul, I'm sorry. This won't happen again” Leeteuk said

Heechul wants to believe but he'd been saying that for almost 2 years and nothing changed—Leeteuk couldn't keep his own words and it shows everyday.

“Just leave me alone” He softly replied, after all he stayed; staying with him as if there was nothing wrong between the two of them.

Every fight, there was always pain but Heechul ended up staying by his side—making himself to believe that maybe one day, Leeteuk would keep his promises and treating him better like he used to be.

“I'll wait, okay?” Heechul only hummed, as he heard footsteps outside and he harshly wiped his tears.

He stood up and walked towards the mirror, observing his body, there was a lot of marks, bruises and scratches.

His face was swollen and lips were in pain. It was dry and cracked—blood could be seen between the cracks and tried to smile but he failed.

Heechul inhaled deeply and once again, he looked himself while wearing his clothes again before rushing out to the bathroom. 

“You okay?” Leeteuk suddenly stood up and held his waist to guide him again 

“I'm okay” Heechul said, wrapping his arm around on Leeteuk's neck. 

Heechul could see how Leeteuk reacted but he already expected it. Heechul knows the beating would definitely last longer but here he was again, cuddling with him as if his boyfriend did nothing wrong tonight. 

“Heechul, I'm sorry” Leeteuk said and guiding him into their bed, Heechul just smiled. 

For the nth time, he was just always smiling—sorry? that word wasn't enough to ease his pain and everything what he'd done to him but again, Leeteuk's apology was accepted. 

“Ssssh don't be. I'm okay” Heechul said while caressing his face and Leeteuk buried his face on Heechul's hand. 

He lied, he lied again. 

“This won't—” 

“Don't say those words you never meant. Leeteuk, just don't say it and stop saying it. I'm not a fool” Heechul said

“I tried, okay? I know you trusted me but—” 

“But you didn't trust me at all that's why you keep doing this to me.” 

He helped himself to lay down and turned his back to avoid the other one. 

 

—

“I'm going now. How's your body?” Leeteuk settled himself between his legs while massaging his left thigh and the bruises were still visible 

“Still in pain but gonna be okay. You should go” Heechul replied and closing his eyes to avoid him but he felt the sudden touch was getting out of control. 

He cried out in pain and sat down to face the other one who was already looking at him, darkly. 

“Stop avoiding me!” Leeteuk yelled, tightening his grip that made him cried again. 

“! I'm not! Please let go!! It hurts!!!” Heechul tried to shake off his hand but Leeteuk pinned him down 

He was on top while him? trying to free himself and pull away his body but Leeteuk was stronger than him. 

“I said im sorry. Please don't be mad” Leeteuk whispered and leaned down to kiss him but Heechul turned his head away to avoid his lips 

“Get up! Im still in pai—” 

Leeteuk held his face and harshly kissing him;  down to his neck and leaving some marks, he whimpered. 

“Jungsoo—” 

“That's more better” Leeteuk smiled, he kissed him again and this time, Heechul responded.

Jungsoo? Leeteuk probably knew that his boyfriend wasn't mad anymore since Heechul called him by his real name. 

“Hmm~” He moaned between their kisses, Leeteuk softly touch his cheek and they both smile while looking at each other's eyes. 

“I'm sorry” Leeteuk said, tracing every angle of his face using his index finger while the other one was still looking at him. 

“I love you” Heechul sweetly replied and giggled, Leeteuk leaned down for another kiss; but this time the kiss was gentle and passionate. 

“I love you too” Leeteuk replied between their kisses, wrapping his arms around him and held Leeteuk so tight as if their relationship was depended on it because it was true. He keep holding on, hoping everything would be back and okay—He just need to wait; even though he, himself wasn't sure of it. 

Leeteuk was his medicine, after the fight—Leeteuk would definitely do everything to make him feel better but at the same time, he was also his poison—the poison who was slowly killing him. 

Pain, bruises, blood and harsh words were too much but Heechul always chose to stay and get back to him. 

He wanted more and Leeteuk was the answer for that. He would definitely stay than to leave him because he loves him even though his love was only causing him a lot of pain. 

He kept coming back, found himself cuddling with him and sharing sweet words to each other. 

For sure the pain would  last long but Heechul could handle it; probably a little longer. 

His medicine made him felt good but there was a mixture of poison; for sure the poison would last long and probably could be worse. 

He didn't mind as long as his medicine would stay at the same time.