The sun slowly drifted across the sky as it got ready to rest its weary head. It was a long day, and all Jennie could think about was heading home, dropping herself in her bed, and sleeping until next week. With her eyes barely taking in the scene around her, she walked along to the path of her dormitory. Although, if she were, to be honest with herself, she wished she could have forgotten the whole college experience and headed back home.

Her feet ached from her shift at the diner. Maybe it would not hurt if she took a little seat on one of the benched lining the walked way. She dreaded heading back to her room. She needed a few extra minutes before she found her way back to her dorm where the loneliness hunted. No movie nor music ever succeeded in chasing it out as the hollowness of the room could still be felt.

Jennie knew not to expect college to be easy. The thought of it alone sent chills down the spine of those in high school. But she always thought it would be easier than this. There was no escape for her. Her life consisted of being shouted at by her boss for her clumsiness, drowning in lecturers and assignments by her classes, and being rejected by everyone she tried to introduce herself to. Every day she rose from the bed and forced a smile. She told herself repeatedly it would get better. That sooner or later she would catch up to everyone and the things she struggled with would no longer hold her down. After three months there was no change, however.

She took a seat, rested her head back on the bench, and allowed herself to be soothed by the cool air of the approaching evening. Lifting her gaze to the orange sky, she felt the beauty of the world fill her lungs and she breathed it in. Jennie's soul is always lifted when surrounded by mother nature. Whenever she was stressed or just needed a break from the world, she would always come outside and lose herself to nature. It was the only time in her life she ever connected with something. It reminded her that no matter how bad things were or how much she wanted to run away from everything, the world was truly bigger than her and all her problems.

Things would get better she thought to herself. Jennie had never been good at fitting in, but she was never on to give up. It was just the beginning, and she was not about to count herself out before she made it anywhere. This was college. It was a time to explore what life had to offer and to learn more about who she was, and she knew she was one to leave halfway through an act. No, she thought to herself, she would stay and fight her way through.

She soon lost herself in her thoughts as her mind began to sort through all the things she had planned out, the assignments she had to do, the lectures she had to attend, and the job that gave her the chance to prove herself as an adult. However, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the presence of a stranger.

She could not tell how she knew there was someone with her for the person made no sounds nor did they make any movement to make their presence known. Yet she knew. And when she opened her eyes, her gaze found the warmest pair of light brown eyes staring back at her, mystified. The tall stranger stood two feet from her, her black hair flowing freely in the wind. Jennie knew she should have been freaked out. She should have run away screaming, but she could not. There was something about this woman that held her where she sat and made her feel.... safe.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." The stranger placed both her arms up to show she was harmless. "My...My name is Lisa. I just wanted to say hi."

Jennie watched as the woman stared more at the ground than at her. With both her hands in her pockets Jennie found the woman cute in a child-like way.

Jennie smiled mischievously, "You snuck up on me to say hi? You could have waited until I didn't have my eyes closed and relaxing."

To her dismay, she saw the woman's hopeful expression drop from her face and was replaced with one of disappointment. "I'm sorry. You're right. I was always weird when talking to people." Lisa said as she turned to walk away.

Maybe that was not the best thing to say, Jennie thought to herself. She did not know the woman but there was already something they had in common. Neither one of them said or did the right thing around people.

"No," Jennie called out to her. For reasons she did not understand, keeping this woman around her seemed to be the most important thing. Whether it was due to the lack of social skills or something else, Jennie wanted to find out. "It's okay. I was trying to make a joke. But I guess I'm not so good around people either."

Jennie 's insides lit as Lisa gave her the sweetest and gentlest smile she ever saw. "That's okay. You were right anyway; I should have picked a better time. For all you know I could be a serial killer. I just really wanted to say hello for a while, but I was always got nervous when I came close to you" She looked up to Jennie hopefully, waiting to see how the effect this piece of information would have on her.

"You wanted you to talk to me? For how long now?" Jennie 's curiosity was getting the better of her. Though her social skills were lacking she found it hard to believe someone as nice as Lisa had any interest in making conversation with her.

Lisa began to edge closer to her, slowly at first, afraid she might be pushing too much. Jennie moved a little to make room for her. Seeming happy with the invitation, Lisa took the space beside her like a puppy meeting its owner after a long day of work. "Since the first day of college." She replied happily.

However, upon seeing Jennie 's shocked expression, she quickly tried to undo the damage she thought she already committed. "Not in a weird creepy way of course. I came in the diner on my first day and...well you were there. You just seemed so...hopeful. It got me thinking. Well wanting....to say hi."

Jennie thought back to that first day at the diner. Back then she was hopeful. She was starting a brand-new life going after the life she wanted while doing the thing she enjoyed the most, photography. However, little by little that hope she had for the future drifted away until she dreaded every day and the struggles they brought.

Lost in her thoughts she was pulled out of it by Lisa's voice. "It made me hopeful. School was not an easy thing for me, and college is no different, to be honest. But seeing how happy and excited you were made me feel the same way. Your smile is Contagious by the way."

Jennie was taken aback by the honesty. She never met someone who spoke so freely of their thoughts and emotions. People often showed a small part of them. They showed the pieces of them they thought were socially acceptable. While this was a good thing for most situations, it meant others never truly saw the real them, only the image they created. Lisa on the other hand had no problem with that. She was true to her feelings.

"Are you always so forward with what you feel?" Jennie chuckled.

She feared this question would have made her shy away again but instead it had the opposite effect. Lisa strengthened her back and spoke with confidence she did not have before. "Why not? I have never been good at reading people or situations so being honest is the easiest thing for me. I don't have to fight to understand what is happening around me and people would not get the wrong impression from me. Everyone wins."

"Jennie shifted her gaze from Lisa to the walkway in front of them. By now the sun barely showed its head beyond the horizon. The crowd was beginning to thin. Closing her eyes, she thought back to all the times in the past few months when she wished things had been that simple. Life would have been easier. There would be no misunderstanding, no second-guessing yourself and no wishing she knew what people were thinking. Life would not be so messy all the time.

"I wish a lot more people were like that. It would make things easier." She replied.

"Maybe," Lisa replied, "but I think most people are afraid, to be honest with each other. The front they place for people to see is like a wall of protection they have for themselves. Without it, it would be easy for them to get hurt. And isn't that what everyone tries to do, protect themselves?"

"But you're not afraid of getting hurt? What if someone tries to take advantage of your honesty? There are a lot of people like that out there you know."

Lisa thought about that for some time. As the silence stretched on, Jennie thought that would be the end of their conversation. Finally, just when disappointment began to make its way through her, Lisa replied.

"You have a point. But what about all the time it goes right, and I meet the right people because I was honest?"

Just like everything in life, it was a risk. There was no going around it. Some things are just meant to get complicated Jennie thought. But this moment, with her taking to Lisa was not. It was honest and free and for the first time in a long time, she found herself wanting to keep the conversation going. However, as she took notice of the time on her watch, she realized she would need to get up early or she would miss her morning class.

"I was thinking," Jennie started. Now it was her turn to be shy. "It has been a while since I enjoyed a conversation with someone. Would you like to have lunch tomorrow? I have a class in the morning, but I'll be free from 11."

A smile as wide as the campus lit up Lisa's face. Giddy with delight she quickly responded, "Yes!" she shouted, "be free. We could meet in the cafeteria."

"I would love that," Jennie replied. There are events in a person's life when one moment could change the course of their entire life. Sometimes we know things will never be the same again and sometimes we don't. Sometimes it could be as big as graduating from medical school or something as simple as reading a book that inspires you. Jennie was not sure how, but she knew, the moment she met the woman next to her would forever alter the rest of her life.

................................................................................................................................................................

Present day

With her fingers twitching over her clothes, Jennie paused at the front door of her house. Her heart pounded madly against her chest. She took in a few deep breaths trying her best to soothe its fears. She was just being paranoid thinking of the worse possible scenario. Then again, the last two days have consisted of nothing else. Ever since that night, every minute of her life had been spent looking over her shoulders and thinking every gaze cast at her knew her shameful secret. Two terrifying days of thinking the moment had finally reached when her wife knew of her betrayal.

She sniffed at her clothes and took one last glance at her attire before opening the door. Upon swinging the door open she was left perplexed at the darkness which consumed the apartment. Normally when she arrived home at ten in the night, she would be welcomed by the hallway lights and the sound of her wife's cheerful greetings. Tonight, however, the only sounds which greeted her were the vehicles and music drifting up from the streets below.

"Elizbeth? Are you home?" she questioned into the hallway. Her body relaxed at the thought of having the house to herself for a little while longer. As much as she missed her wife, she was constantly in fear when around her. Having the place for a few hours would give her the extra time she desperately needed to prepare for another night lying to the love of her life.

"I'm in the living room." a voice responded. She released a sigh. Disappointment mixed with joy at the sound of Lisa's voice. She threw her things to the right of the hallway and made her way to the living room as she traced her left hand in the wall beside her. Years down the road, looking back on that memory, she would come to see it as a walk leading her to the darkest times in her life. If only she had known, it then. She would have turned back the hands of the clock and stopped time right at that moment.

With every step she took the guilt started to seep through her consciousness once again as memories of that night flooded her senses. She recalled the way the star lights shone above them as she held his hands and stroll through the park. The scent he wore drifted through her as he hugged her at the entrance to his apartment building. She felt the impression left by his body while in her arms. That night, everything had felt so right. She felt a high she had long since forgotten. Yet the minute she woke up the next morning, her thoughts were filled with Lisa and what she had just done to their marriage

Her chest tightened as the guilt-filled her from her chest and spread through her body, sending chills to her hands, her feet, and closing . Breathe, she remained herself, just remember to breathe and everything will be fine.

Arriving at the end of the hallway, she turned the corner genuinely believing tonight would have been like any other. To the far end of the room, facing her was Lisa. Her soft brown eyes were closed, and her shoulders were slouched. In her right hand, she held a bottle of whiskey and sat near a lamp, the only source of light in the apartment.

At the sight of Elizabeth, the light inside her came alive. The love Lisa gave her for all those years blossomed in her heart and all she could think of was how foolish she was to ever turn to another for what she already had in abundance. So then why did you? The guilt questioned her without mercy. Do you think you deserve her love after what you did?

"Why did you leave the lights off? I thought you weren't home" She asked instead to block any unwanted thoughts.

She stood there for a few seconds waiting for a response. When she received none, she moved closer to her and asked in concern. "Are you okay? You looked like you had a tough day."

Again, she waited, but Lisa simply kept her eyes closed and slowly took a sip from her drink. Something was wrong. This was not the warm loving person she had grown to love. This was someone else, someone cold and numb of emotions. Someone who may have discovered a secret that was meant to remain hidden.

Fear gripped her and held her where she stood. She fought against herself to move and when she did she found she trembled with each movement. "Lisa? Is everything okay? Are we...?" However, before she got her chance to complete her question, Elizabeth's cold sharp voice hit her in the chest.

"How was your date?" It was four simple words, yet they stopped her heart when she heard them. Her mind went blank, and her body grew cold. She knew it was coming yet she could not believe it. This was impossible. Fear gripped and made it impossible to speak. She needed to stay calm. Maybe it was just her paranoid state. Maybe it was something else Lisa referred to.

"Tiring," she simply stated with as much joy as she could muster, "But it's so much better now that I'm home here with you."

"I asked about your date! Not your day." Lisa's voice resonated through the apartment. The outside world fell away, leaving them trapped in that time. The silence and isolation intensified. It gripped her and left her speechless. Never in all their years together have Lisa ever spoken to her in such a manner. Chills shot down her spine. Despite venturing out on unknown territory Jennie knew it was not going to be easy.

"How did you find out?" her voice soft and barely audible as she forced herself to speak. Lisa's eyes slowly opened. She gave Jennie an intense gaze that seemed to set her body on ice. Though she looked very much like her wife, Jennie no longer felt she knew the woman in front of her. This was the moment she feared most ever since they met. Not the moment Lisa would look at her without love in her eyes.

With great effort, Lisa rose from the chair and wobbled over to the other woman.

"Is that all you care about? Finding out where you failed in covering your tracks?" Her usually soft brown eyes was now replaced with a fierceness that cut through Jennie 's walls and made her grow weak.

Jennie was taken aback by her words. For a few seconds, she struggled to speak. "W..what? No..no that's not true." She stumbled upon her words with each attempt, "the..that's...not wh..what...I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Lisa replied, "because you sure as hell didn't give a damn about how I felt." Her grip on the glass tightened. The entire apartment was filled with Lisa's fury. Jennie stumbled as she moved back. She had pictured this moment a hundred times since the affair happened and yet standing there with Lisa in front of her, she knew nothing could have prepared her for this. The person who had done nothing but loved her now looked at her with anger and hurt mixed and it was all Jennie 's fault. She had bought this storm into their lives, and she had nothing else to do but face the consequences of her actions.

She reminded herself to breathe as she slowly took a step towards Lisa. "Of course, I cared but..." her words were failing her. She desperately tried to recall the speech she had planned out but the only thing her mind kept coming back to was the anger written on her wife's face.

"But what? But you didn't love me enough? But you thought you could have him and still come home to me? But you thought I was too stupid not to realize what was happening right in front of me!" in one swift and unexpected moment, Lisa threw the glass against the wall to the left of Jennie , staining the wall and the ground as it shattered on one attempt. Jennie jumped and whimpered in fear as she brought both her hands up to her face in a defensive movement.

Jennie felt herself shrink little by little as Lisa came towering over her, glaring directly into her eyes, her teeth clenched.

"How long?" she demanded.

Her body shrank under Lisa's intense gaze. "It was only once" Jennie 's eyes pleaded with Lisa. She hoped she would understand it was just a mistake. It meant nothing to her and at the end of the day, Lisa was the one who held her heart. She wanted to say those words and many more to express her love, but she could not even begin to form the words. The damage was already done. Her actions would speak louder than anything she had to say.

"Only once. It was only once." Lisa repeated Jennie 's words out loud. "One time may not have seemed like a big thing to you, but for me, one time is more than enough. In that one time, you took everything we build over the last few years and threw it away. It meant that our marriage, that I, did not matter to you. And let me guess, I wasn't important enough for you to tell me."

"No, of course not," Jennie found her voice at hearing how broken Lisa was. "You mean everything to mean. And I wanted to tell. The minute it happened I wanted to come home and tell you the truth but..."

"But what?" Asked Lisa at seeing the hesitation in Jennie .

"I couldn't. I was afraid of this. Of seeing your reaction. I couldn't handle the thought of doing that to do." Tears rolled down Jennie 's cheeks.

Lisa chuckled to herself. "But that's just it. You already did it. It was done the minute you kissed him. You did this. And for what? One night of fun? Or was it more than that? Did you love him?" Lisaforced herself to ask that last question. Her heart bleed to know the answer, but she needed to know why she was now losing everything that mattered to her.

"No! I didn't. I never did. It's always been you." She desperately tried to make Lisa understand.

"Then why did you do it?" Lisaasked again.

Jennie started to respond but then realize she did not have an answer. It was something she asked herself repeatedly since it happened. She knew it was not any affection she may have felt for him. Her feelings for him did not go beyond that of a friend. Yet, she could not name the cause for her actions. That thought bothered her just as much as her behavior did.

The seconds ticked by dividing her life into two, life with Lisa and life without her. Her heart pleaded with her to stall the moment but what right did she have. Then again, she knew she would regret it if she did not try at least one last time.

Without every part of her soul, she slowly made her way to Lisa and held on to her hands. Bringing it up to her chest she placed them on her heart. "Lisa. I know I messed up. You have no idea how sorry I am. If I could take it all back, I would. But I know we can get through this. We can get through anything as long as we stay by each other's side. So please, don't give up on us."

Jennie 's eyes were glazed over with fear as her hands tightened around Lisa's. She dared not let go, knowing if she, did it might be the last time they would ever be in the same room together. She hoped and prayed her regret would reach its way to Lisa. She needed her to know she meant every word she said. And more importantly, she needed to know how much she loved and cared for her.

However, after a long stretch of silence, Lisa closed her eyes and shook her head. Slowly, she pulled her hands away from her. Jennie 's heart sank. No, please no, she silently pleaded. Little by little she felt pieces of her fall away as Lisa grew further and further away from her.

Staring at the floor. Lisa spoke in barely a whisper. "There is no us anymore. You made sure of that when you cheated on me. You can keep the apartment and everything in it. I'll send someone to pick up my things soon."

"Lisa no." Jennie reached out once again for her but her gesture was quickly dismissed when Lisa pushed her away.

"Don't touch me. Don't come near me. Don't.... just don't." Lisa responded as she raised her hand to stop Jennie from moving closer to her.

Helpless to do anything, Jennie watched with tears flowing down her cheeks as her wife walked around her and grabbed her jacket and car keys from off the counter. Part of her told her to stop her, to scream out to her, to grab her hand, to block her way, anything that would keep her in her life for even a second longer. However, she simply watched, feet unable to move, while Lisa walked out of the apartment and out of her life. The pressure in her heart intensified at the slamming of the door. When the shock wore off, Jennie wrapped her hands around herself and fell to the ground. Tears gushed down her cheeks and onto the clothes. Her cries resonated through the empty apartment. There was no one to hold her now, no one to wipe her tears. There was no going back despite how much her heart ached for another chance to be with her.