I was too tall, I was too weird, I was too shy, I was too thin, I was too weak, I was not popular, I had no friends, I didn't like the most popular kids like everyone else, I was nobody in my school but I was okay with it. I was the nerd of all nerds. Not that I was especially smart or was a talent in music.

I liked my computer. That was my or better their problem.
It was not normal for a middle school student to be interested in anything which was not mainstream. It was not normal, that a boy was liking to read about boy groups and bands or to like their style, their music or anything about them. That was something only the girls were allowed to. The boys in school had to like the girl groups more and had to show off anything they had. Their muscles, their new girl... they were soulless creatures for me.
I was in my own small world listening to the newest singer I found.
It's not boring to stay on the laptop for the main time of the day if you know what you want. Of course it would be boring if you were a hyperactive person. But for someone as quiet as me, it was perfect. I didn't have to share everything I did with someone. I was able to keep things to myself and I was okay with it I never missed anything. I was not interested in being friends with people that will never understand me. I wasn't interested either in changing my whole life and interests for people that want me to be like they were.
They were all the same. I knew it even though they all thought that they were special to themselves.
No one in this annoying school or in this annoying city was interesting. They were all gray. I didn't like it. I was blue so I was in the way for the most of them. My parents always told me that they were only jealous that they were all nothing special.
I knew it even if they didn't tell me. They all wanted to be someone special but they weren't so I was in the way and their only way to make me shut up was to isolate me. They all turned their backs on me and annoyed me with lines like 'Oh did your best friend run out of battery?' or 'Are you even trying to communicate with human?'
To be honest no, not with people like them.
I didn't hate me or my life, I hated them. One day I was sure I would disappear from this city and I would leave them all speechless, looking at me on TV. I was sure I wanted to become a professional.
Singing, OK if you want. Dancing, yeah why not. I like dancing. Even though no one knew I could sing. And yes I could dance but I never showed anyone. Not even my family. I was trying harder from a unknown time on. I always sang in my room and danced I was more than happy when no one was at home so that I could practice. I would dance but never any specific dance I just danced a mix of all dances I saw somewhere before. When I sang, I did it with as much feeling I could even though I were not that good in that task.
I was attending castings and auditions one after another until an Entertainment finally wanted my parents to sign a contract with them. My parents were confused as they didn't even knew I attended anything but they eventually signed and I became a trainee.
I had to move and of course everyone in school and in the whole city was not believing me at first but as they saw my luggage and that I brought one box after another in a transporter, they realized that I wasn't joking.
I moved in the big big big big BIG city where probably none of my classmates ever was before.
I moved in, in a small apartment in the middle of Seoul. It was really small but it was big enough for me alone.
I went to practice everyday and my parents and teachers were e-mailing me everything from school everyday too. I practiced from 10.00AM to 7.00PM and then I learned for school. But of course no day was passing without me listening to the newest news about any of my idols.
I was not an idol yet but I would become one once my trainee years would be over.

One day while I was dancing in the Entertainment's dance studio, I was feeling as if someone was watching me. I turned three times and looked in the mirror in front of me of I could see anyone but there was no one. It went on like that for about four days but then I went with big steps to the door and opened it with a big thud punch.
In front of me a small boy stood with widened eyes stuttering a “Sorry...” and disappeared again. 'He... isn't gray...' I thought, 'he is... blue...'
The next day when I practiced I looked for the small boy but didn't see him again.
I continued looking for the boy the next days but he never showed up.
'Why am I so interested in that boy...' I asked myself before going to sleep after the seventh day looking for him without a success.
The next day I stood up but was tired as hell. I was befriended with some other trainee's but none of them could help me as none of them seemed to know the boy. I had to confess, I didn't have a real good picture or anything from him I knew that he had black hair a stylish hairstyle and brown eyes that nearly looked as if they were black. But... in Korea most of the people had dark hair and eyes... not that it would've helped me that much with my search.
I asked the strangest people to get information about the boy but no one could help me. I wanted to see him again. His face, his voice, his eyes... yeah especially his eyes made my heart spin and I didn't know why.

One day I fell during practice but I was too tired to stand up again.
“Where are you...” I said out loud accidentally.

Another two weeks passed without a sign of the boy but then on a Sunday afternoon, on which I wanted to give up, my dance teacher brought a new trainee with him to practice.

“His name is Myungsoo, he's a new trainee and really hard working for becoming like the idols. You guys will train together from now on.” he said and looked at the other. He ruffled his hair and went away.
“You...” I whispered and looked at him with wide opened eyes but also with a wild going heart.
“Yeah... me...” he said blushing and scratching his neck nervously.
I took some steps towards him and touched his hair, he flinched.
“Are you afraid of me?” I asked carefully inspecting his hair, face and body with my eyes.
“N-not really...” he said stuttering.
“Why are you flinching then?” I asked without really paying attention to the conversation.
“Uh...”
“My name is Sungyeol.” I stated, “we'll train together from today on.” ended my sentence with a smile and he smiled back. 'What a sweet smile...' I thought looking deep in his eyes.
“Do you mind showing me how you dance?” I asked feeling a little awkward.
“If you want me to... but I'm not as good as you are...” he whispered. And on that point I realized that he was the one who was watching me that day and that out first meeting was when he ran away mumbling a 'Sorry'.
I grabbed his arm as he wanted to turn around and looked at him again. He looked back, scared like a deer.
“Why were you watching me that day?” I eventually asked.
“I... uh... well it was like that...” he began to stutter but stopped as I suddenly hugged him tight. 'What are you doing Sungyeol?' I asked myself but couldn't answer.
“I'm sorry.” I said.
“Huh?”
“For scaring you that day. I didn't want you to be afraid.” I began, “to be honest... I searched for you.” I ended my sentence smiling a wide smiley smile, loosened my hug and looked at him.
“Why...?” he asked blushing like a high school girl, confessing her love to the most handsome boy of the school and then looked down at his hands. He noticed that he held on my shirt and let go immediately.
“I think I like you.” I said it and it felt oh so right.
“But you're a guy... and I'm one too... you can't like me, I don't know you, you don't know me either...” his blush got crimson and his bangs hung in front of his handsome face.
“Do I look as if I would care? I only said 'I like you' not 'I love you'.” I chuckled and he suddenly looked shocked into my eyes with his mouth half opened. I chuckled again and pulled him closer.
“You're one cute boy you know that?” I stated laughing warmly.
“...”
“Your name was Myungsoo right?” I asked as I let him go and walked to the big music player on the side of the room, turning on full volume.
I began to dance and looked at him the whole time.
“Dance with me.” I said smirking.
“...” he did not answer but began to dance. We danced together and afterwards we made a little competition between ourselves, who could stretch more. I was kinda flexible but he was a little stiff.
He eventually showed my some tumbling and laughed as I tried to do the same he had shown me before but failed... hard. I blushed and his ice melted every minute we spent together. I turned off the music and we both panted from dancing and training. Even though I knew I would probably destroy the nice atmosphere between us but I had to ask....
“Why were you watching me that day?” I asked again.
He looked at me and bit his lip. He gulped down his water and laid flat on his back hiding his face behind his hands.
“I like you.” he said, his ears were getting red so I think he blushed too.
“I hoped so. As I said before I like you too.” I answered. He then took his hands away from his face and shut his eyes tight. His whole face was red.
“That's not what I meant...” he said sitting up and tugging on my shirt. He looked up and opened his beautiful eyes.
“I'm in love with you.” 'Did he just really say that..?' I thought looking at him, not really believing his words.
“But...”
“I love you Sungyeol and I'm sorry for being a creepy stalker.”
“WHAT?!” I shouted terrified. I mean how would you react if your new partner who you searched for the last weeks told you to be your stalker?!!
He flinched but tugged on my shirt even tighter.
“I was following you to your dance practice everyday and watched you dance. I saw you when you moved into your apartment and I kinda fell in love at first sight... by the way, you're my neighbor.”
“Uh, and I thought you really were my stalker. Like a STALKER. But if you're my neighbor it's normal that you see me everyday isn't it?”
“And so it's also normal you never saw me?” To be honest I didn't think of that but he was right...
“How comes that I didn't?” I asked.
“I hid... I wanted to stalk you.” he said nervous.
“What the.... what are you talking about?” I asked. I was more than confuseb by this boy. What did he mean with he wanted to stalk me?
“I wanted to be near you. But I knew it was false to love a boy. I knew you'd be disgusted by me...” a wet drop fell on the floor from behind his bangs that hid his eyes.
“At first I didn't know why my heart is beating so fast... I didn't know why I wanted to be near you so I followed you to this studio everyday. I didn't know I was already stalking you. I wanted to see you. But I … don't laugh but I googled this feeling I had, and it said love. Then I googled what I did and it said stalking so... I think I'm in love with you and I'm stalking you.”
I laughed warmly and hugged him.
“If I could choose my stalker I would always choose you.” I said placing a small kiss on his head.
“Eh?”
“You're so cute. How can you google your feelings? You just had to tell me.” I said pulling him on my lap.
“I'm not cute...” he mumbled blushing and bit his lip, never letting go of my shirt, “I'm creepy. Everyone on the interned said stalkers are bad people. They said I was scary and creepy.” he sobbed after saying that.
“YOU are NOT creepy nor scary. And that sort of stalking is something shy fools in love would do sometimes. Shy people can not just walk up to the people they like and tell them. I know because I am one of those people. I also 'stalked' my first crush.” I his arm. it felt so good. To have him so near... it felt so good.
“You... Are you still in love with that person you stalked?” he asked innocently and stopped sobbing for a moment, it seemed like he was really worried about that. 'How adorable!!!!' I nearly shouted that out loud but held it back.
“No I'm not. I was not in love for almost seven years now.” I said inhaling his hair's scent. Shampoo.
He relaxed a bit in my arms and sighed in relieve. I smiled.
“But I think I'm in love again. Since I caught a boy watching me dance once... you have to know that I searched everywhere for him.”
“Really?... I thought I had to disappear for a while so I stayed home for the last weeks... Why... why did you search for me?” he babbled in one breath.
I put my finger on his mouth. “Shh! I did not end my story yet.” I breathed in and he nodded shyly.
“Well I didn't find him anywhere and no one knew him. I nearly gave up as that boy came in my studio one day and I blurted out my feelings for him. He seemed to be shocked so I tried to talk them down but as he told me that he felt the same after some time, my heart paused a beat and afterwards it felt as if it would jump out of my chest. I'm in love with that boy and I'm happy he feels the same.” I ended my mini story about 'that boy' and me and looked at him, bringing him closer towards me, if that was even possible.
“We don't know each other....” he said with worry in his voice. I took his hand and laid it on my chest. He felt my fast heartbeat and smiled. He took my hand then and laid it on his chest. His and my heart... their beats were the same.
“Our hearts do...” I said and leaned in, closing the gape between our lips.