Chapter Five

She appears to be distant to me.

The two girls soon became weary of sprinkling each other with water using their hands. They had already walked close to Sana's house without even recognizing it. The older one finally realized this after seeing a familiar SUV parked at the street's end.

"We're almost there," she had said Dahyun, who merely smiled pleasantly and bobbed her head. She slowed her steps so she wouldn't go further than Sana's place. "Uhm, hey..."

"Hmm?" Dahyun hummed, her gaze fixed on her sneakers as she walked.

"Thank you for today," Sana intoned sheepishly. "It was fun and... watery." And so, the other girl laughed. Playing in the rain is clearly not a part of the plan. But there is no lie. This had become the day's high point.

"I had fun too," Dahyun replied, showing Sana a big smile to support what she had just said.

"Ah, you always want to act cute, don't you?"

"It just comes out naturally," the younger one replied with a chuckle and a confident wink.

They arrived in front of Sana's house shortly after. Still, though, Dahyun almost walked over. Only if the other woman didn't grab her wrist and bring it closer to her. They stood there for a moment, both embracing themselves against the cold. 

Sana's heart was moved by a simple gesture. The pale girl reached out with one hand, wanting to tuck the wayward hair behind Sana's ear.

"There," Dahyun said quietly as she drew her hand back. She averted her gaze to the front of Sana's house as she felt a rush of heat on her cheeks. "Maybe you should go inside because it's getting cold...er. colder," she said.

"Yeah, it is," Sana said quietly, massaging both her arms with her palm. It didn't help as those hands were freezing as well. "Would you want to come in? I'll fetch you a towel and dry clothing," she invited the other.

"It's fine. My house isn't too far away; I'll be alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Certainly, ma'am."

Sana bobbed her head twice before taking a small stride on her side. "Good night, Dahyun," she greeted.

"Good night," Dahyun said before motioning with her hand for Sana to enter. "Go," she had to say again since the girl kept gazing back at her.

"Oh!" screamed the older girl as she reached for the doorknob. She turned around to face Dahyun, who was startled. "I need your phone number," she said.

Dahyun just stood there in wonderment when Sana finally went inside and shut the door. How is it possible to become so attached to someone so quickly? They'd only just parted ways, and she hadn't even taken a step away, yet there was already a void; a need for more of the time they'd spent together.

"This is insane," she told herself, later repeated “Crazy," she remarked, nodding her head as if she agreed unreservedly.

She began to recall each moment from this day now that she had turned her back and begun walking away. "She's adorable," Dahyun breathed, holding back a smile while knowing she'd fail.

When a car passed by, she had to stop pondering. The windows were barely tinted, allowing her to see who was driving. And it was a familiar face, one she couldn't mistake. "Doctor," she murmured, turning her head to see where the truck would come to a halt. It appears that the woman did not notice her walking by the side of the road.

It hit her hard.

The instant the car came to a stop in front of Sana's house, the reality hit her. She waited for the woman to step out of the car for whatever reason, perhaps to see clearly.

Dahyun realized she wasn't mistaken after a while. It was her doctor. It was Sana's mother at the same time.

"Why does it have to be you?" she mumbled to herself before turning away abruptly. The doctor cannot see her. Dahyun has to make sure that it is not going to happen.

Dahyun groaned as she pulled herself up the wall. She is now climbing back up the window to her bedroom, a bit unsteadily because her clothing is soaked. It doubled to her initial weight.

There is still a lot going on in her head. Only the fact that Sana's mother and the doctor are the same people concerns her. Dahyun just realized she had been emotionally attached to Sana, and she now feels the need to put an end to it. She doesn't know how to do it, and she's not sure whether she can.

She shoved the window panes wide with her thoughts still racing through her mind. But what greeted her upon her return was only another issue of frustration.

"I'm glad you're back."

For a brief minute, the pale girl froze, her heart practically thumping out of her chest. "Mom," she said quietly as she noticed her mother seated on the recliner in her room. Shifting her gaze to the person standing against the doorframe, she continued, "Oppa." And the expression on his face was as if he was sorry that she had to get caught. He just couldn't do anything about it any longer.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," the woman said before standing up and crossing her arms. "But for now, I need you to fix yourself. Take a shower and change your clothes, and we'll speak later," her mother continued before walking out of the room, leaving the two siblings dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry, Dahyun-ah. I couldn't stop her from entering your room," Taehyung apologized earnestly, but Dahyun seemed despondent. She couldn't help but feel that way. It was misery after all the joy.

"Have you been doing this for a long time?"

"Is asking still necessary?" Dahyun said, leaning back against the headboard of her bed. Her chin rested on a cushion that she was embracing. Even when spacing out, she continued to talk. "You already know. You caught me, and that should be the end of it. Why are you still asking questions as if what I did will ever change?" Her tone was harsh.

Taehyung merely stood there, listening to the two of them trying to talk. He opted to stay so that if things escalated, he could intervene and stop the two from arguing.

"Dahyun-ah," their mother said sternly, but knowing Dahyun, she wouldn't back down.

"What? Just ground me if you want. Or lock me up in here. Put a security camera so you can see everything I'm doing in here. I don't care," the girl remarked, as the older lady sighed exasperatedly.

"I simply want to know why you'd do such a thing," she responded calmly to Dahyun.

"You have no clue why?" Dahyun questioned, feigning a chuckle. Her nose had turned reddish, and tears welled up in her eyes. "I want to have the life I used to have," she said quietly. "I want to live the life I had before this ing illness." She gritted her jaw and tightened her grip on the cushion, attempting to stop the tears from flowing.

Taehyung and their mother huddled with their heads down, listening attentively to Dahyun. They knew the girl's intent; therefore, they couldn't just keep her from bursting.

"I completely lost everything once I found out about it, and you know that. Taehyung knows... Dad knows," Dahyun added. "And just in here, just lying about, telling myself that if I just rest and sleep and drink these medicines, I'd get well; if it's hard for you, it's the worst for me." She paused for a moment after her tears had rolled down her cheeks. "You don't know how it feels, none of you do," she said quietly. "You don't know how it feels to sleep every night, not sure if you'll see the sun again the next day. Being chased by death."

Taehyung couldn't stand it any longer and resort to going out the door. He didn't want to come out as weak in front of Dahyun. He vowed never to cry in front of her again.

"I just want to live normally," Dahyun said. "That is the reason, as I'm sure you know."

The older woman couldn't respond because she was trying so hard not to cry, even though tears were already streaming down her cheeks. She is a mother. Clearly, she wishes for her daughter to enjoy a normal life. It's simply a shame there's no guarantee Dahyun will.

"If you are already content with what you have heard, please see yourself out," Dahyun replied indifferently before fixing her position to sleep.

Sana had just exited the bathroom after having a shower. Her first thought was to check her phone for a message from Dahyun, but there was none. "Hmph," she grumbled as she typed a good night greeting. "No," the girl said to herself, deleting it once more. "Why should I be the one to text first? Shouldn't it be her? As soon as she comes home safe, she should have notified me. What's wrong with her?" She blabbered on, oblivious to the fact that she was still dressed in a robe with a towel on her head.

"But will she ever text me if I don't do it first?"

Sana then turned her attention to Ahri, who was also staring at her. He was probably thinking about what his owner had been saying. "What do you think, Ahri?"

Before sprinting towards the girl, the dog excitedly wagged his tail. When Sana mentioned his name, he may have assumed she was playing with him. He subsequently growled while attempting to climb the bed, so Sana helped him.

"You're so cute," Sana said as she scratched the top of Ahri's head. "When I think about it, you kind of look like Dahyunie; is that weird? She oftentimes looks like a cat, though." And her nonsensical ideas continue. It's interesting how Ahri seemed to enjoy hearing all of it while staring at the girl with absolute admiration. "Alright, lay down properly, and I'll snap a photo of you," Sana said before raising her phone. "I'll send it to Dahyun. Isn't that an excellent way to start a conversation?" she giggled as she pressed the shutter button.

Sana: Sent a photo.

Sana: Isn't he adorable? He's been sleeping next to me since he came here. Our Ahri is a huge fan of cuddling.

Dahyun: Sleep well, Sana.

After receiving a response, Sana pouted her lips and furrowed her brows. "That's it?" She mumbled. It's infuriating that she made an attempt to initiate a discussion, and the other person abruptly dismissed it. She had no option but to accept it. "Your mom may be a cold person at times," Sana said to Ahri before lovingly booping his nose. "Let's go to sleep!"

∙ ∙ ∙

It's been a week since Sana has seen Dahyun. They do exchange a few messages, most of which are just "good mornings and evenings." Sana couldn't help but be concerned since she had a feeling something was wrong. It's simply that she's not sure what it is.

She eventually had the guts to approach Taehyung and express her concern. "I haven't seen Dahyun anywhere this week," she said, instantly drawing the man's attention. "Is she okay?" she questioned, hesitantly.

Taehyung cleared his throat before turning to face Sana. "Yeah, why would you think otherwise?" he responded, smiling. However, no one can discern if it is sincere.

"Uh, nothing," Sana said quietly, but the other could hear her. "I'm not sure why..."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. She appears to be distant to me," Sana said, shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe I'm just overthinking."

"But, have you been contacting each other?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm?"

"I'm not sure why I feel like something's wrong, and it makes me sad," Sana admitted openly, leading Taehyung to smile but with a solemn expression in his eyes. "I'm sorry; maybe it is just me," the girl chuckled, suddenly ashamed about admitting it. Given the fact that this man is Dahyun's brother.

"Would you want to come over after work, Sana?" Taehyung offered suddenly, startling the other. "Dahyun has been busy recently, which is why she couldn't come around here; but, if you can and want to see her, you may come to visit later."

"But you said she's busy," Sana murmured. "Is that, really, okay? If it's for school, I'd think twice about pestering her."

Taehyung scratched the back of his neck. He recalled that Dahyun had told her that she was taking summer classes. "Well, it's not like she doesn't sleep, eat, or do anything other than whatever she's up to right now. Seeing her would be great," he assured Sana.

Later that day, Taehyung entered Dahyun's room and said, "Hey, Dahyun." Since the day she was caught slipping away, the door has been left open for good. "What are you doing?" he inquired, despite the fact that he could see the girl lying down on her bed.

"I'm wondering if the ceiling would collapse on me if a massive earthquake occurs while I'm sleeping," Dahyun said casually. "Why?" she asked. "What do you think I'd be doing if I wasn't gazing at nothing?"

Taehyung laughed and shook his head in disbelief. Dahyun is truly strange. "I'm not sure. Maybe thinking about more mundane things?" he pondered.

"Like right now, take a shower and put on your nicest clothes, maybe dust off the... stuff in here a little, and whatever, make it seem decent."

"What are you talking about?" Dahyun could only murmur, not understanding her brother's point.

"I simply assumed you'd want everything, including yourself, to look pretty good when Sana gets here," Taehyung responded with a chuckle. Dahyun sat up swiftly, her eyes widening as her brows wrinkled. "Bingo! Exactly the reaction I expected to see," he teased.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Sana is already on her way."

"WHAT?!"

"I'd guess you've got fewer than ten minutes left," he stated, glancing at his wristwatch.

"Less than ten minutes," Dahyun said again, and the other hummed in agreement. "To take a shower, put on my nicest clothes, and dust off the stuff in here. Well, thank you for your short notice, my beloved brother; I'm now having a panic attack."

"Hi," Sana said nicely as she entered the house. Taehyung mentioned to her that their parents aren't around, so she wouldn't need to be so formal.

"Make yourself at home," he added, beaming as he hurried back to the kitchen. "Uhm, Sana," Taehyung spoke loudly, wanting to make sure the girl could hear him. "Dahyun is in her room; go up and see her."

Sana didn't want to yell inside, so she simply followed the man to the kitchen. "What is she doing?" she said, still debating whether she should bother the girl or not.

Taehyung was so preoccupied with his cooking that he took a moment to respond. "Uh, cleaning, I suppose," he said, not even batting an eye at Sana.

"Cleaning?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"O... okay," was all Sana could say.

"You should go up; I'll be making dinner."

After all, it's not like Sana wouldn't go see Dahyun after walking all the way here. "Where could her room be?" she grumbled as she looked about. And there she noticed an open door, probably what she was trying to find.

Sana isn't wrong. She spotted Dahyun cleaning the furnishings in her room with a feather duster. Sana drew the pale girl's attention by clearing . "Hey, Dahyun," she said nervously, awkwardly waving one hand. There, she noticed how the other had finally changed her clothing. She was so used to seeing the girl in a school uniform.

"Sana," Dahyun whispered quietly before placing the feather duster on the end table. "Come in," she said, wiping her hands on the back of her pants. "Sorry. My brother didn't inform me you would come, so I... my room is sort of a mess," she explained.

"No, it's not," Sana laughed as she walked inside, observing the artwork about the room. "It's like you live in a museum," she said.

"Did you paint them all?"

"Yeah, I used to love art that much," Dahyun chuckled, gazing at Sana as she approached each of her pieces. "I still do," she admitted, her attention fully fixed on the girl.

Sana came to a halt in front of one of the artworks. As she looked at it, her eyes sparkled. "Lake Geneva," she said quietly, which the other overheard.

"How did you know that place?" Dahyun wondered, amazed that Sana had guessed correctly.

"I've always wanted to see this place."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful. Just looking at it is calming," Sana said, prompting the other to agree. "How about you? How did you know about this place?"

"I have an aunt who lives nearby, and I thought it was wonderful, so I painted it," Dahyun said immediately. "Now that you've mentioned it, I guess I want to travel there as well."

"Then we should agree to travel together," Sana replied, brightening the other's face.

"I'd be delighted."

"Dahyun," the older girl called out solemnly. Even her face appeared different than the usual jolly one. "You must fulfill it," she added. "I had someone assure me he would take me there, but then he broke his word."

Dahyun simply smiled at her and said, "Maybe it won't work if someone else promises it to you."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Perhaps it should have been the other way around," Dahyun responded. "You should make the commitment."

"To take you there?" Sana queried, merely making the other bob her head.

"Say you'll take me there, Sana."

"Alright. I promise."

"Good," Dahyun said, grabbing Sana's wrist and dragging her somewhere else in the room. "Let me show you my ideal cottage-style miniature."

Sana was taken aback by the sight of it. She suddenly remembered her dream. The miniature resembled the one she had envisioned.

"Dahyun," she mumbled, but the other didn't hear because she was too preoccupied talking about how much time she had spent on that project.

Dahyun felt exactly like the missing person in her dream.