word prompt: earths, save, choice.

 

“You have to make it..”

 

 

Walang kapaguran na tumakbo si Seulgi papunta sa natitirang lagusan papunta sa ibang mundo, papunta sa kaligtasan mula sa pang-apat na mundong hindi niya pa rin mapigil ang paggunaw at unti-unting pagkasira nito, pero may kaibahan sa sitwasyon niya ngayon.

 

She’s carrying one of its people upon her back, racing against safety kahit na hirap na hirap na siya sa mga sugat na natamo niya mula sa pagkuha sa babaeng ito galing sa panganib, at hindi maikakaila ni Seulgi Kang na parang hindi ata sila aabot, na parang kasama na siyang mamamatay sa lugar na ito—

 

“Let go.”

 

Narinig niya iyon, pero hindi niya ito pinansin habang patuloy siyang tumatakbo papunta sa kaligtasan, pero ramdam niyang unti-unti nang nagpupumiglas ang babaeng ito na buhat niya sa likuran niya, na para bang gusto niya talagang bitawan siya at iwan siya sa lugar na ito.

 

“Seulgi, bitawan mo ako.” She pleaded, but it fell upon Seulgi’s momentarily deaf ears, not wanting to hear any of those things.

 

“Seulgi, it’s okay—”

 

“Joohyun, hindi kita iiwan dito.” Galit na sabi ng babae habang patuloy siyang tumakbo, at nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang makita niyang malapit na sila sa lagusan, malapit na silang dumating at malapit na niyang mailigtas silang dalawa mula sa kamatayang pilit na hinahabol silang dalawa ng walang kapaguran—

 

“Malapit nang gumuho at mawala yang lagusang hinahabol mo, Seulgi. Hindi ka aabot… kapag buhat mo ako, mas babagal ka.” She says, gritting her teeth as she tried pushing herself off of the woman, pero hinigpitan pa lalo ni Seulgi ang hawak niya sa binti nito, never letting go.

 

“Hindi… hindi ko hahayaang makalimutan mo ako, Joohyun, dahil alam mong hindi ako magigising na si Seulgi sa mundong iyon—”

 

“Remember your job, Seulgi Kang.” She says, and you widen your eyes as you could feel her stab the hand that you’re using to support her weight, making you cry out with a sharp pain that seared from your hand up to every sense in your body.

 

“Find me.” She says, pushing herself off of you successfully this time, at hindi na niya nagawang tumingin pa pabalik, shouting at the top of her lungs as she ran forward with all of her strength, making it in the pathways just in time before it collapses, leaving everything behind.

 

Leaving her in that familiar white void, that white nothingness, and she could only shout at the top of her lungs while her features are slowly getting stripped away again, leaving her into this soul, this tormented soul that had never been able to be happy.

 

“in the end, you chose her, again.”

 

The voice reverbrated into the empty space, reverbrating through her system, pero hindi niya magawang tumingin sa may-ari ng boses na iyon, hindi niya magawang magsalita, dahil parang unti-unting sinisira ang buong pagkatao niya, unti-unti na siyang nilalamon ng ilanlibong emosyong tumatakbo sa isipan niya na hindi niya malaman kung ano-ano pa iyon.

 

She thought it was different.

 

That this Earth was different.

 

She thought the two of them could go into the void together, the two of them could go into another Earth together, both their memories intact, because that is what she had been trying to do in the four other chances that had led to that Earth’s peril.

 

She chose her. Over the expense of the whole world, she chose her.

 

The rules were written clearly in the beginning, ever since she had unknowingly woke up in that first Earth where everything seemed fine, where everything seemed in its place, pero yung boses na iyon—that mysterious voice that always welcomed her soul in the void—explained to her that she had only two choices.

 

Na bibigyan siya ng tsansang iligtas ang mundo—in exchange of her beloved, who she would recognize in every Earth that she’s in, losing her life.

 

This soul knows that this hellish loop would end kapag pinili niyang iligtas ang mundo.

 

Kapag hinayaan niyang mamatay ang pinakamamahal niya, matatapos na ang lahat ng ito, and she would never have to race through time again.

 

Pero bakit? Paano niya magagawa iyon?

 

How can she let the love of her life die to satisfy this wretched game that she didn’t even sign up for?

 

Makasarili siya, oo.

 

She would rather let millions—no, billions of people die in each Earth that she had waken up to just to try and save the soul of her beloved, just to let her cross into the void, just so she could carry over her beloved’s memories to its next life, just so she could remember her.

 

Eh paano na ngayon, na hindi niya nailigtas ang babaeng pinakamamahal niya?

 

She would have to start all over again, in this new Earth.

 

In this new place of torment.

 

Paano niya pipiliin ang kaligtasan ng mundo? Ikamamatay niya atang piliin iyon.

 

“May you find the peace that you attain to have,” that voice said again, at unti-unting nararamdaman ng kaluluwang ito ang pagkaantok, at alam niyang magigising nanaman siya sa ibang mundo, na ibang tao, and it would have to start all over again.

 

“…whether it be in the arms of your beloved, or in saving the world.”

 

“Rest in peace, Minjeong Kim.”

 

*

 

And there she wakes up.

 

Opens her eyes to a hospital room, with all these machineries strapped upon her, and momentarily she feels weak, like she can’t even move, but a second later she feels an irregular strength upon her veins, as it had always been whenever she wakes up in this new body.

 

Minjeong Kim.

 

She stares at nothing at first, because soon those things would come afterward—her memories from the other worlds, slowly mixing in with the memories this new body has, memories that would soon point her in the right direction, and there she saw her.

 

The woman she would have to save yet again, the woman that she would always be ready to exchange the whole world for.

 

But… but what is this?

 

Nagugulahan siya habang tinanggal niya ang kung ano mang nakakabit sa kanya, her footsteps taking her into someplace else before she could even think, before she could even dictate where it is she is going, as if she had already known this path for a lot of times, as if she had been here for so long.

 

The woman she had tried to save multiple times from every Earth, the woman she had given up everything for is now laying down upon another hospital bed in another hospital room, losing every second of this lifetime that she has, and how can she be saved?

 

How can you save someone who is already doomed to die from the very start?

 

“M-Minjeong.” She uttered, her voice weak and small, at naramdaman niyang parang binabasag ulit ng paulit ulit ang puso niya.

 

She has it all—strength, speed, the ability to retain her memories from each Earth that she had been in, but how can she possibly fight this?

 

How can she fight Death that is already sitting upon her beloved’s side, letting her life dwindle away so slowly?

 

“Hi.” Sagot ni Minjeong habang pinilit niyang ngumiti at lapitan ang babaeng pinakamamahal niya, and it kills her inside as the woman reaches out for her, her hand barely rising up an inch, at agad namang hinawakan ni Minjeong ang kamay ng babae, knowing that this is the extent of her strength.

 

“You’re out of your bed… papagalitan ka nanaman ng mga nurse dito, Minjeong.” Natatawang sabi niya habang ramdam mo ang mahinang pagtibok ng puso niya mula sa paghawak mo sa mga kamay niya, and you can’t help but grit your teeth as you feel it stuttering against both of your fingertips, like a fire slowly dying out.

 

Nararamdaman mong malapit na.

 

Matatapos na.

 

She’s fading—and this time, the poor soul could not do anything about it.

 

Even if she could heartlessly kill off the billions living in this world in exchange of her beloved, parang hindi niya ito magagawa ngayon.

 

Matatapos na.

 

Itong paulit ulit na sistemang pilit niyang gustong tapusin, itong sistemang ibinigay sa kanya ng tadhana—malapit na.

 

Part of her is happy that everything is over, but part of her stubbornly still wants to fight back—to go against all the odds again, to race through time and get her beloved into the void—

 

Wait.

 

Baka pwede nga iyon.

 

She knows that in a life threatening injury, the portal—the pathway to the void—opens right in the spot where she is, and she could take Karina Yoo there—take her soul to the void, and have her memories carry over to another Earth, to another chance to fight.

 

But this is the first time that she feels conflicted.

 

Dapat na ba siyang sumuko?

 

Dapat na ba niyang pagpahingahin ang sarili niya at itigil na ang patuloy na pagsira ng mundo para lamang isalba ang isa?

 

Because she knows full well that this won’t stop—that she would have to find more ways to bring her beloved’s soul into the world, to let the world fall into ashes, to destroy everything and leave everything behind, to assume another life—kaya pa ba niya?

 

But her hands find a chair and then throws it into one of the windows, picking up a shard that sliced into her hand immediately, blood pouring out without fail.

 

The shard she holds hover over her skin—hanggang sa dulo, hindi pa rin siya sure kung ito ba ang dapat niyang gawin, but nevertheless she puts it dangerously closer—

 

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang makita niyang hawak ni Karina ang kamay niya, preventing her from harming herself just so she could open the portal upon her.

 

Agad na binitawan ni Minjeong ang hawak niyang patalim at pilit na pinahiga ang babae, putting back the oxygen mask that helped her breathe and making sure that she did not get disconnected from any of the medical apparatuses connected to her that is keeping her alive, at bumuntong hininga na lamang siya nang maramdaman niya uli ang steady na tibok ng puso ng babae.

 

“Minjeong.” Karina utters, and Minjeong only hums in reply, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to execute her plan properly—

 

“Seulgi. Chaeyoung. Moonbyul.” She uttered, at nanlaki na ang mga mata mo dahil natatandaan mo ang mga pangalan na iyon.

 

Ang mga buhay mo bago ang mundong ito.

 

How the hell does she know that?

 

“Lisa.”

 

The single name sends memories hurtling through her mind, filling every crevice, every nook and cranny of her first life, of the life where it had hurt the most.

 

Where she had lost Jennie Kim, where she had lost her beloved for the very first time.

 

She was once Chaeyoung Son, saving Myoui Mina from drowning in the beach, and the world perished under sudden war, erupting upon their midst.

 

She was once Moon Byul Yi, saving Kim Yong Sun from a deadly gunshot, in exchange of the world perishing under perilous waters, engulfing every crevice.

 

She was once Seulgi Kang, saving Bae Joohyun from the people who had enslaved her, which in turn exchanged the world to burn in intense fire—

 

She was once Lalisa Manoban, saving Jennie Kim over herself.

 

It was then that the world crumbled before all of them as soon as Lisa took the gun from the woman—it was then that she realized that the rules were indeed true.

 

Na kailangan niya talagang pumili.

 

But how can she choose this time?

 

When part of her had already died permanently every time she goes inside that void?

 

Habang nakatitig siya kay Karina na hawak ang kamay niya, not even minding the blood that continued to pour through, dirtying the pristine white bedsheets of this hospital that they’re both in, hindi niya maiwasan ang mapangiti habang nakatitig siya sa pinakamamahal niyang unti-unti nang nauubos.

 

(She gets dizzier by the moment, pero hindi niya inalintana iyon dahil ang focus niya ay na kay Karina lang—na parang mawawala ang babaeng ito sa isang iglap na malingat siya ng tingin.)

“It’s alright.” Sagot ni Karina, but those words resonate deep within her, tapping through the other memories that had been mixed in with her own, as if this woman in front of her is also talking to the ones who came before.

 

“You can rest.” She says, as if it’s nothing, as if she isn’t staring straight into Death’s eyes.

 

Na para bang okay lang na tuluyan na siyang maubos.

 

Na parang tanggap na niyang hanggang dito na lamang siya.

 

Paano naman ako?

 

Paano naman ako mabubuhay na wala ka na?

 

For the first time in a very long while, a tear escapes the mask, completely broken by Karina’s words and the thoughts that run tirelessly in her mind, at unti-unti nang umagos ang mga luhang pilit niyang itinago sa lahat ng mga nangyari.

 

“How… how can I just let you die in front of me? Hindi ko kaya iyon, Karina—”

 

“I was already doomed to die from the very beginning.” She says, removing her oxygen mask kahit na pinipigilan siya ni Minjeong, who felt her heartbeats get faster, as if it had been geared to stay that way until the very end.

 

As if someone is giving her beloved final strength.

 

“Na kahit ilang beses mo akong salbahin, I would either die by the world dying because you saved me, or dying as you bring me into the void.” She adds, a smile settling upon her lips.

 

“This,” she says, a chuckle escaping her lips habang mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang kamay mo.

 

“…this needs to stop.” She says, and you grit your teeth dahil hindi ka sumasang-ayon sa sinasabi niya.

 

“What, for the world to be happy at ako hindi? Ayoko, pinangako ko sa sarili kong ililigtas kita ng paulit-ulit, no matter what the price—”

 

“For your peace.” She utters, the smile fading as she stares at Minjeong with such intensity, as if she could leave any moment.

 

Na kahit anong gawing paghabol ni Minjeong, hinding hindi niya ito maaabutan.

 

“Because you also need to rest.” She says, gripping one of the bedsheets and tying it upon Minjeong’s palm, but she’s too far gone to feel the pain.

 

Too far gone to care.

 

“But always know that I’ll still be there.” Karina says, weakly pointing upon the woman’s heart as if the borrowed strength that she had is slowly fading away, as if this chance is already ending even before she could decide what to do.

 

“Nandyan lang naman ako sa puso mo—unless you replace me.” Natatawang sabi niya habang napangiti naman si Minjeong for the first time ever since she steppend inside this room, something that feels too foreign for her after everything that had happened.

 

“Ang cheesy mo. Hindi naman kita papalitan.” She says, holding the woman’s hand tight, the energetic heart beats slowly going back into that weak rhythm—then slowly fading.

 

“Jennie.” A kiss upon her hand.

 

“Mina.” A kiss upon her temple.

 

“Yong Sun.” a kiss upon her forehead.

 

“Joohyun.” A kiss upon her nose.

 

And as the heart beats slowly faded against her fingers, she had finally decided to let go.

 

“Karina,” she says, kissing the woman’s lips as tears fell upon her cheeks, and for once she feels the woman kiss back—kahit na yun na ang pinakahuli.

 

Kahit na alam niyang mawawala na siya.

 

Kahit iyon na ang natitirang lakas niya.

 

“Mahal na mahal kita.”

 

The hand she was holding went slack. A loud beep reverbated across the room, the tears upon Minjeong’s cheeks cascading nonstop while she held her stare upon the woman she had loved, the woman who she had tried to save over and over again, and for once…she feels nothing.

 

No emotions. A blank slate upon her mind, all of her thoughts erased.

 

But then it came.

 

The nosebleeds.

 

The dizzy feeling at the back of her head getting even more prominent now, too much that she fell into her knees dahil hindi na niya kayang tumayo—at pinagmasdan niya ang telang nakatali sa kamay niya na nabahiran na ng pula at hindi matigil ang pag agos ng dugo na katulad ng mga luha niya; too much that it’s already dripping upon the tiles.

 

“Wala man lang nakapansin sa inyo na umalis ang anak ng chairman?!” rinig niyang sigaw ng doktor na pumasok ng kwarto ni Karina at ramdam niya ang pagkukumahog ng ibang mga doktor na ibalik siya sa kwarto niya, all of them getting even more alarmed that her blood is everywhere.

 

Hindi.

 

Hindi ko hahayaang hindi ako makasunod sa’yo, mahal.

 

In her remaining strength she grabbed the shard of glass lying down upon the ground and plunged it upon herself, expecting a sharp feeling of pain upon her system, pero walang dumating—

 

Because one of the doctors restrained her from doing so.

 

Joohyun held her hand, not letting her stab herself, holding it with such intensity in her stare as the other doctor grabbed the shard from her hands, escorting her towards her room habang ramdam niya ang hindi matigil na tingin ni Joohyun sa kanya hanggang sa makabalik siya sa kwarto at magamot ang mga sugat niya.

 

“Don’t die on me, Minjeong.” She said, pero hindi mo na mapigilan ang sumigaw.

 

“Karina’s gone. Everything’s over. Bakit ba hindi niyo na lang ako hayaang mamatay?!” she said, shouting at the top of her lungs habang ramdam niyang wala na ang lakas na ibinigay sa kanya ng boses na iyon mula sa void, at hindi niya mapigilan ang puso niyang basag na basag na at wala nang natira.

 

“Karina—my sister loved you so much, to the point that she was fighting because of you.” She says, sighing as Minjeong could see her stopping her tears from falling, from her façade breaking into pieces and shattering without control, na parang nagpapalakas siya ng loob sa harapan ni Minjeong.

 

“Deep inside, I always admired you because you were such a ray of sunshine. You were Karina’s sunshine—the reason why she had continued to live even after every suffering that fate had thrown at her.” She says, tapping Minjeong’s shoulder, the woman’s anger lulling down habang unti-unti siyang nakaramdam ng antok nang mapansin niyang may ininject si Joohyun sa kanya.

 

“This is your peace, Minjeong Kim.” Joohyun utters, and Minjeong widens her eyes because it’s as if that mysterious voice in that white void is the one speaking in front of her.

 

“May you have the life that you had always wanted, in your next life.” Joohyun says, at nanlaki ang mga mata ni Minjeong sa sinabi ng babaeng iyon, and it’s as if she’s in the void again, as if she’s a soul again, stripped of her features from the Earth where she had last been in, pero pagtingin niya sa sarili niya ay nasa ospital pa rin siya.

 

“Am… Am I dying?” Minjeong uttered, but Joohyun heard it just fine, giving her a faint smile that told a million emotions, mostly sadness, ripping through that otherwise cold exterior that she had since earlier.

 

“Yes.” Sagot niya, as if it was something light, as if it was something normal.

 

For Minjeong, it is.

 

Mahal, hintayin mo ako.

 

Malapit na ako.

 

*

 

She opens her eyes into new light, into a new Earth, but somehow she feels that this is different—that this is something else.

 

Na wala na siya sa paulit-ulit na sistema.

 

Na finally, she can rest easy in this Earth—

 

With the woman that she loves.

 

“Shuhua, matagal ka pa diyan? Aalis na tayo.” A voice said, ripping gently through the thoughts that she had, and she stares at the woman who she loves in this Earth, a woman that she would never lose over the world, a woman who she could finally choose without losing anything else.

 

“Malelate na tayo sa kasal ni Ate Jennie and Ate Lisa, susunduin pa natin sila Mina tsaka Chaeyoung. Tapos, pinapasabi nga pala ni Ate Joohyun sayo, sila na daw ni Ate Seulgi ang susundo kela Ate Moonbyul and Ate Yongsun, kasi nag-aalala ka daw na baka wala sila masakyan.” She says, and you can’t fight the urge anymore.

 

You hug her tight, without any warning, kissing her straight upon her lips, at mukhang nagulat naman siya but she hugged and kissed you back immediately, already used to the clinginess that you have, at hindi mo maiwasang mapangiti habang nakatitig sa kanya.

 

“Yeh Shuhua, anong problema mo?” Seo Soojin utters, a smile resting upon her red colored lips, and you shake your head, hugging her tight again.

 

“Wala lang, it’s just…” Shuhua utters, a smile unerasable upon her lips.

 

“Mahal na mahal kita.” She says, making Soojin laugh as she hugged the woman back.

 

“I love you too.”

 

In this earth or another, mahal na mahal kita.

 

No matter what it takes.