A/N: I will be using a song on a part of this chapter and you can also play it as you read through this, might help get you in the mood lol 

- - -

Winter blankly looked out of the airplane window, skimming her eyes through the bright city lights below that were slowly dimming after they took off. Coming back to the country she hasn't stepped a foot on for four years was something she never imagined she would do considering the reason for her spontaneous decision to return, it was borderline suicide as even deemed by her friends.

Am I doing the right thing? I don't know, that much she knows as she sighed loudly. It was already too late for her to change her mind when she's already 40,000 feet above the ground and 15 hours away from Seoul. She closed her eyes and tried to get comfortable on her seat but no amount of luxury from the first class plane could make her heart at ease from the emotional turmoil she's fighting against.

Expertly maneuvering her way through her phone keys with her eyes still closed, Winter adjusted the music volume and she let her entire being be engulfed by the serenity that music has always brought to her regardless of how shattering their words sometimes were. Soon, her ears were filled by the blasting sound from her buds, totally blocking her from any outside noise, temporarily making her escape reality. But Kim Minjeong, the Korean superstar, ex-idol, and now one of the world's rising artist in the music industry, knew too damn well that she can never escape reality, that she can never run away even in many different versions of reality, not when every single one of them has her.

The lyrics filled Winter's head and she was again reminded of the decision - mistake - she made four years ago, of how she foolishly thought that she was sparing her from the inevitable pain, of how she stupidly thought that the price for their lucrative future was them.

It has been almost five years since their contract as a group expired and in contrast to most successful idol groups like them, the group of four girls composing aespa decided not to renew their contract. It was not because of an internal conflict nor was it due to their irreconcilable differences as they sure did get along very well for the seven years that they ran as a group. Eventually, after careful discussions, each one of them thought that seven years, their youth, was enough to showcase themselves as a group and it was time for them to move on, that it was already time for them to go after their own artistic colors.

Even after the disbandment, the industry still expected the group's Korean members, Karina and Winter, to stick together but news shook everyone as the latter announced her departure from the country to debut as an international artist based in New York. The news was so sudden that it spared no one, including Karina, who felt betrayed by the sudden and unannounced departure. Hurt was an understatement the moment she confronted Winter about it, worsened by the fact that the leave was indefinite and that the younger girl has no plans of returning back to the country, to her, anytime soon.

It's for the best, for the both of us, for you, Winter recalled what she reasoned and scoffed at how crappy that excuse was.

Opening her eyes, she stared at nothing but the dark night sky outside the thick glass, and for the nth time since she left Seoul, she berated herself for not giving Karina a proper explanation of her departure - the honest and painful truth that she had been carrying for years. Through the dark clouds, she can still picture the pain on Karina's eyes that fateful day.

"What is it Minjeong-ah? Why did you have to do this?"

"I-" a lump got caught on as she couldn't find the right words to tell the older girl in front of her whose eyes were now swollen and red from crying.

"Why do you have to leave me?" and a fresh batch of tears streamed down Karina's face.

"U-unnie.." she stuttered and saw the pained look on Karina's face from hearing what she just had called her. Winter has not called her with that privately ever since they got together and hearing that again now had made the sting more painful at least a hundred times, the unfamiliarity signifying their impending end. "..I-it's too big of an opportunity to let it p-pass" she lied gritting her teeth as the older girl knew her too well to believe her excuse.

Karina knew there was more reason behind the answer she got and she was not buying it. "Really now, Kim Minjeong?!" her voice raised. "Are you really that selfish to leave me alone after promising we'll stick together and figure things out after the disbandment?" she countered within her sobs, knowing too well that she's also selfish for not wanting to let Winter leave and miss out on that great opportunity.

Not knowing what to say as her heart just kept on shattering into million tiny pieces each second, Winter wiped her equally tear-streaked face, grabbed Karina by her hand, and pounced on her tight as if her life depended on it which surprised the taller girl.

"I'm s-sorry, I love you, I love you so much that I don't want to r-ruin you" Winter said in between her sobs.

"W-what? R-ruin me? W-what are you talking about?" the confused Karina asked as she returned the hug just as tightly, sensing how vulnerable and hurt Winter might also be at the moment.

"I love you, jagi-yah, I love you" Winter closed her eyes as she let her stream of tears fall, praying that she could freeze this moment and stay within Karina's arms forever. But she can't, she knew she can't so she savoured every second she still had with her.

Winter scoffed at her reflection on the window, you love her yet you still left her.

She shook her head, not wanting to go another round of self-debate on how she could've possibly told Karina the truth back then - How can I tell you that I was just foolishly scared I might not be able to stand up for us? How can I tell you that I was just not strong enough for the both of us? We were young, we still had so much to learn and to grow and the idea of our future scared me.

Winter sat back again, eased herself on her seat and tried to go to sleep. This will be an excruciatingly long flight, she thought.

- - -

Stepping foot on Incheon International Airport brought back so many memories that Winter had been trying to bury for the past couple of years but each step on the vast infrastructure hit her with a sense of familiarity and each memory trying to resurface brought back pain together with it.

She pulled her cap down to properly cover her face to obscure her identity as the media was the last thing she would wish to flock on her with her unannounced and impromptu return to the country. Her grip on her luggage tightened as she fought the urge to run and book the next flight back to New York. Her steps were becoming heavy as she neared the airport gates, starting to regret her decision of coming to her wedding.

A familiar face of a grinning man greeted her just when she exited the sliding doors and for the first time since she hopped on the plane, she felt relieved to come back.

"Mindongie" the tall man looking just like her opened her arms to hug her.

"Oppa," Winter embraced her brother, "it's been a while."

"It sure is but I'm glad you decided to come home" the man patted her back.

"You know I wouldn't miss this" she answered above a whisper.

His brother stepped back from their embrace and patted her capped head, "Always the masochist, Minjeong-ah" he smiled sadly, knowing the real reason for his sister's sudden return and he knew better than to argue. "Now quick, head to the car, someone might be able to identify you here."

They made their way to the parked car not far from them and drove out of the airport. After exchanging quick stories about anything, the older man let her sister fall in silence for the rest of their ride home as he knew too well what could've been going on in Winter's head at that moment.

The younger girl looked out of the car's window and into the bustling streets of Seoul and for the first time since she landed, she felt home. She gulped, trying to suppress the welling tears as a new batch of agonizing memories cloud her head. Why did I even leave? She gulped the pang of regret. She had lived with it and she had even paid for it. In fact, this wedding was enough payment for the price of her departure.

"You don't have to do this" her brother broke the silence.

Winter knew too well what that short statement meant, "I know, oppa, but she's still my b-best friend. It's the least I could do for her." Best friend - that's all I will ever be now, huh?

Her mind brought her back to that blue envelope she had received a month ago and in it was a traditional laid paper neatly folded inside and another simple bond paper with a short handwritten note that she had already come to memorize.

"My dearest Mindongie,

How are you? It's been a while since I last heard from you. Are you, perhaps, ignoring me? I miss you.

You've been away for too long and there are so many things between us now, including time, but you have always been a constant in my life. I know it will be cruel of me to invite you to my wedding but I need my best friend with me on that day, and I'm sorry for being so selfish to ask you this.

I will understand if you choose not to come but I need you to be there to share the special day with me despite the choice of us having a happ