2013

   Seungri walks and walks without knowing where he is heading to but of course, he reaches home. he told his mom, his aunt send regards and expecting her to come over next weekend. He takes a shower, longer than usual before flops himself on the bed.

   He never knew that the dinner will make he feels this way. The dinner make he feels exposed. He feels bare.

   His heart hurt. He can’t say that he’s piss off. Nor he can say he is frustrated. It’s more to disappointment.

   The dinner went well until Jaehyuk, his cousin said that Jaebum, know his phone password. It might look like a simple thing. but, his phone is his safe place. Everything he hides from the real world, is in there.

   What would they say when they know how he really is? Will they judge him? will they tell his parents?

   His tears flow down without he wants them. They can’t tell his parents. he’s not ready yet.

   He’s not sure yet. He needs more time. He can’t decide yet what he is. And, he can’t face yet the disappointment from his parents, and people around him. 

   He's not ready yet....

   ///

   2018

   “Did you saw the smile on his partner during the last scene? Not only during the last scene. Even from the start. The way they look at one another. So much of love.

   I think they might be dating in real life. I can feel the chemistry and the love flowing through the screen. Oh my God! I want to buy another ticket.” Seungri goes all out talking about the movie that he and Jiyong just watched.

   Jiyong smiles looking at him and nods to whatever he is talking about. He fastens the seatbelt when Seungri stills too focus on talking about the movie.

   Today is Saturday which means to be movie day for both of them. Jiyong picked Seungri up at his condo. They had lunch before the movie. Usually after the movie, Jiyong will send Seungri home, but for some reasons, he doesn’t feel to send him home yet.

   He wants to spend more time with Seungri. He can control the need to spend time with Seungri before this, but lately, he just craved for more. It feels like he wants to spend his 24/7 with Seungri, which is not far from being the truth.

   “What’re we doing here?” Seungri asks as Jiyong stops the car at a park. He just smiles and reaches for the snack that he bought before the movie.

   Seungri looks around the parks. People are having their leisure time. Some jog, the other cycles. Some just laying around having picnic with their family.

   “You got this planned, aren’t you?” Jiyong narrows his eyes as if he is thinking which makes Seungri laughs. He handed the opened drinks to Seungri.

   “I just want to spend more time with you.” Jiyong comments then sips his drink and munches the chip. Seungri laughs him off.

   “Why would you? we work at the same company, remember? Besides, don’t you have anyone else to play with? What a poor soul. Do you want me to help you find someone else to play with? I’m a busy person. I won’t have much time to go and play with you, mister.” Seungri laughs as he teases Jiyong.

   “Why would I want somebody else when I have you?” Come the serious reply with Jiyong looks at Seungri.

   “Hello, I’m a busy person. You might need someone else to replace me.” Seungri waves his hand to Jiyong.“What kind of person you like? Let me help to recommend. Cute one? Sm…”

   “Marry me.” Jiyong says, looking at Seungri seriously. Jiyong narrows his eyes when Seungri laughs it off. “I’m serious Ri. Marry me.”

   Jiyong takes Seungri hands and makes he looks at him. “Ri..” he called out softly, hoping that Seungri to hear him out. Seungri stops laughing at that tone. 

   “Are you out of your mind? We both are guys! Why are you doing this?” comes the reply from Seungri. He pulls his hands from Jiyong’s. 

   “So what if we both guys? What's wrong with it? You know why I’m doing this. ”

   “You know I can’t do this.” It must be a lie if Jiyong says it doesn’t hurt him. But stills, it doesn’t mean that he must give up. 

   “Why? Do you care to remind me?”

   “I don’t do relationship. I don’t do commitment.” Comes the reply.

   “But why?! why you can be do well with your work, but not gives yourself a chance to love? After all the time we spent together. After all the dates. After..”

   “We are friends and those are not dates. Don't forget that we are guys. We were just going hang out together.” Seungri says as if it is crystal clear. 

   “Hang out? That is not what frie..”

   “Please. I can’t.” 

   “You’re not trying.”

   “I just can’t. I’m begging you, Ji. Please don’t force the idea on me. Please. Just find someone else. Find a girl to be precise.” Seungri pleads to Jiyong and Jiyong being himself who always goes weak on Seungri begging. 

   ///

   Jiyong rushed to the CEO room. Not even care to knock the door, not when he heard the news.

   “Noona, is it true that Seungri is resigning? Where is him? What did he told you? Am I the cause of this? Did you approve his resignation? Tell me you’re not.”

   “Ohh, hi Jiyong. I’m fine, thank you. I had a great weekend, yes, thank you. we’re at the work if you forget.” Dami smiles sarcastically at Jiyong.

   “It is a yes to your question. Also, let me remind you that our employees do not need our approval or permission to resign.” She says as she walks from her table to Jiyong. She was revising the contract before signing it when Jiyong came.

   But, that can wait.Jiyong sighs and flops at the chair in front Dami. Jiyong bits his nails and takes out his phone to call Seungri but Dami snatches his phone.

   Dami studies Jiyong expression, “Yes, Seungri did gives me the resignation letter. He didn’t told me the reason of his resignation, but I can give it a guess from your expression. We had a talk, I pursued him to not leave. He is one of the best employees after all. He will not resign. Besides, he can’t immediately resign, he must give atleast 1 month notice or else he will be charged.”

   Jiyong face lit with hope, “Please tell me there’s no but..”

   “But, he will be move to the new branch. And, no, you will not be transfer too. You’ll stay.” “Noona, please I must transfer too. The new branch needs me.”

   “No Jiyong, that’s the deal. Seungri, himself said that. If you insist to be transfer, I’ll approve but Seungri will resign, even without that one month notice and without the charge. It is your choice.” Dami smirks at Jiyong frustrated face. He rubs his face with a loud groan.

   “But, who will manage the new branch?” As if it is on cue, comes a knock at the door, revealing the manager for the new branch.

   “Speaking of the devil.” Dami said. She glances at Jiyong and reaches for her handbag. “Let’s have a cup tea. Do you want to come?” Dami wiggles her eyebrows to Jiyong.

   Jiyong knows what Dami is doing by putting Hanseok as the manager at the new branch. Everybody in the office knows that, Hanseok has a little crush on Seungri.

   But does he have any other choice? He don’t want Seungri to quit because he knows, if the younger quit, it will be hard for he to see him. Maybe they can meet up after work. Maybe he can go and see how’s the work at the new branch.

   He’ll make excuses, afterall, he’s the chairman son.

    ///

   The company gives Seungri special leaves as a return not resigning. Seungri handed the resignation notice on Monday. 

   Maybe being one of the best workers make the company doesn’t want to let him go. or maybe because of Jiyong. Maybe Dami knows something about his little brother.

   After the little argument and silent treatment on Saturday, Seungri distances himself from Jiyong. The older keep on calling and texting him, but he returned none of it. Just imagine how Jiyong will react when he knows Seungri resigning.

   The thought of him makes he sighs heavily.

   He drives without knowing where he’s heading to. His phone has been ringing. Without looking at the caller, he’s sure that it is Jiyong who is calling. 

///

Sitting there all alone might be a normal routine for him. it would be a lie if he doesn’t feels lonely, but he can’t bring himself to have people around him when he can’t handle all of it.

   He wants to cry, but he can’t. It feels like he has forgot how to. Or, he has never been allowed to. Why? because he is a boy. A man. He can’t be weak.

   “I know I will found you here.” Daesung says as he approached Seungri. He takes the sit next to Seungri and can’t avoid from feeling hurt from the emotionless Seungri’s face.

     He takes a glance at TOP who is standing at the car park not far from the bench that he and Seungri are sitting. TOP gives his encouragement smile to him which he smiles back.

     He needs to do this. “So, what happened?”

     Seungri looks into Daesung eyes. He knows Daesung knew what had happened or else he won’t be here. Jiyong must had call him.

      But, he also knows what Daesung wants. He wants Seungri to talk. Like really talk. Like normal people do. 

    “Really?” He asks and Daesung nodded. “He proposed me.” Seungri says to Daesung before he shakes his head and gets up from his seat.

     “Where are you going? You know you need to talk about this, Seungri.” Daesung holds Seungri’s arm, stopping him from walk away.

     “Maybe later hyung.” Which Seungri said as he pulls from Daesung.

      Daesung knows better not to force him. He watches Seungri nods to TOP and drives his car away. 

///

   It is the nth times Jiyong comes to the new branch and try to send Seungri home after work. Which of course, Seungri rejected.

   There are days when Seungri leaves early so that Jiyong won’t meet him. There are also days when he volunteers to meet the client, along with Hanseok.

   But he guess, today just not one of those days. Jiyong comes and drags his hand when he was talking with Hanseok at the entrance of their building. Jiyong tries to push Seungri inside his car and ignoring whatever he was saying.

   “You can’t change my decision. I will never say yes to any of your crazy ideas. If you think by forcing me like this will make me agree, you’re wrong.” 

   Seungri snatches his hand from Jiyong hold.

   "It was so hard for me to have this job, to be where I am today. I'm begging you not to make me get fired for making a scene.

   Yes. I know that you're the one who recommended me to your father and for that, I'm grateful. 

   So please, don't make me lose my respect to you because of your behavior.

   Act professionally please. You're the chairman's son."

   Jiyong look at Seungri, he can't believes that Seungri can be so cold. These are one of the days he regrets for proposing to Seungri few weeks ago.

   They must still can be friends if he didn't do that, right? But he just can't denied it anymore. The urge to be with him make he did it.

   But,look at where are they now?

   He fights the tears from falling. Seungri pulls away before Jiyong manages to take his hand.

   "Can't we be friends? Like we used to?"

   Seungri scoffs, "Can you really think of me as a friend? Like, really a friend? Like you and Youngbae?"

   ///

   The story complete, but I have to divide them. See you in the next part.

Thank you :)