Nayeon regretted kissing the back of Sana's hand that day, when they met up at a café, and she begged for her to help her with Physics. Okay, maybe not so much, because her hand was soft and magical and truth be told, Nayeon loved how it felt. But the whole meeting was a decision she was forced to make (not really), given that Sana and herself weren't exactly on friendly terms—not when she spent most of her days getting on Sana's nerves. 

Well, to be fair, the other girl also got on hers. The difference was Nayeon had to actually put in some effort to it, while Sana... Sana only had to exist and be beheld by Nayeon's eyes to ruin the latter's day. And eventually, when Nayeon realized that Sana was beginning to be a huge part of her day, the single outstanding piece that could complete it, it annoyed her too. More than Sana herself ever could.

Things were going so well for Nayeon. She was part of the cheerleading squad; people loved her smile and her face and the way she would take the whole space of the corridor, making the others instinctively go to either side of the place in her presence. Any student, girl or boy, could faint if she did as much as gaze across their direction. They loved her attention, no matter how little it was, and more importantly, they loved to give her attention. And truthfully, Nayeon loved it, too. So much. It felt like a reward considering she worked her off all junior year to get where she was, honing her confidence better and better and to receive this admiration from different people, she felt accomplished. Apart from that, there were other benefits, such as occasional free lunch, presents and letters on random days, whenever she needed a favor, all she had to do was call anyone, anyone at all , and that favor would be considered done. One of her favorites was how she didn't have to bother with homeworks and projects. Why would she? When all the other students would pay to do these things for her. The only catch, though, were the exam seasons. She couldn't ask someone else to answer her test papers for her—well, she would sometimes get lucky and get her hands on the keys, but it didn't guarantee to help her survive every time.

Regardless, Nayeon tried her best to live her senior life to the fullest. Exam seasons? They only came a few times a year. She didn't have to stress out about it everyday. She just had to believe and know that it was going well, everything was going well, but that's until Sana made her existence known to Seoul High School at the very beginning of the second semester.

Minatozaki Sana. Doe, hazel eyes. Pointed nose that would always stand out. And lips that intrigued people because they always formed just a thin line. She was, without a doubt, beautiful and engrossing, as if all the Gods had taken turns and taken their time to hone that very face, and the very skin, the very figure inhabited by such an intriguing soul. And the very first emotions she ignited within Nayeon were envy and fear of being replaced.

"Sana-ssi, why the sudden appearance here?" Nayeon asked one time, finding herself alone with the girl in the restroom 2 weeks after her transfer.

Sana, washing her hands, only looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her gaze didn't force fear into Nayeon, but one could tell it wasn't devoid of power and confidence.

"Oh, sorry, has my wording there offended you?" Nayeon spun so she could lean back against the sink, her arms crossed, her gaze stayed lingering on Sana. "I mean, why did you suddenly decide it's better for everyone if you continued studying in Korea? It just gets me wondering, especially considering that this is the last semester of senior year." 

Were you that eager to ruin the rest of my senior year? Nayeon wanted to say it aloud, too, but found it best not to.

"It wasn't my choice," answered Sana finally. Despite the gravity of Nayeon's stare, she was able to take no regard for it—she hadn't even looked back at her.

Sana ped her bag and pulled out a clean cloth. Silence occupied the whole space between and around them, and Nayeon didn't realize, but she had begun observing the girl as she dried her hands so carefully, so gently, taking her time with it, that it hurt Nayeon somewhere inside knowing that she moved with grace, too, just like Nayeon herself did. But unlike Nayeon's grace, Sana's wasn't loud. It was subtle, and it made one want to see more. 

Nayeon cleared , and she didn't intend for her voice to sound so deep after, but it did when she asked, "what do you mean?"

"It was my father's choice."

Nayeon scoffed at this. "Don't tell me it's because of his work because I won't believe you."

"It is because of his work, and I don't need you to believe me."

Sana exited the restroom without another word, leaving Nayeon fuming over the last 7 words she had said.

"I don't need you to believe me."

Who did she think she was? She's just some random Japanese girl! She was too proud of herself. How come she didn't need Nayeon's validation in a place where everyone needed it?

Sana's presence was easily Nayeon's most disliked thing in the school from the very first time she showed up, but this was the day Nayeon officially declared to herself that Sana really was to be her enemy, and if Sana could spoil the rest of her senior year, she definitely could do the same to her, too. 

At first, Nayeon genuinely thought it was under her control; Sana only really sparked the students' (and even the teachers') interests because she was from Japan. A Japanese. A foreigner, for now. They would get used to her, too, until they forgot she was a foreigner without even realizing—once they got used to her, the attention would all come flooding in Nayeon's path again. But her thought proved to be false when it turned out Sana wasn't only a foreigner—a beautiful foreigner—but also excellent in academics. And the longer she stayed, the longer everyone loved her—the complete opposite of Nayeon's expectations.

*

"Ah, there's a rumor that Sana and I are dating?" Nayeon asked casually, looking at the screen of her phone. It had only been 2 minutes since she went live on their school's official website, and she had to face such a question.

She was aware it all began because of the photo that had spread among the students. Nayeon and Sana in that café. Nayeon holding Sana’s hand, kissing it. Apparently, someone who went to Seoul High School was at the café that very day, too. Not to mention they had been spending quite a lot of time together because she needed Sana’s assistance in studying.

Despite it sounding ridiculous to her, mainly because she knew that the reality was far from that, she couldn't help the giggles that just escaped her at that moment.

"Right, I know about that, too," her dorm mate Momo, who was preparing dinner not too far from her, chimed in, and she was probably heard by the viewers, too.

You knew? Nayeon wanted to ask, and for a while she was just gazing up at her friend, hand on . As she dwelled with disbelief, she also contemplated if she should actually ask that question. But when Nayeon opened , words that flowed out of her were ones she didn't expect she would ever say.

"Well, I don't really want to reveal that, so I'll just leave it to your imagination."

Momo made a noise of disagreement, and Nayeon just knew she probably grimaced, too, so after the live, she felt the need to make things clear to Momo.

"It's a silly prank. No one would actually think we're dating. We're not even friends."

"Nayeon," Momo began, and by her tone Nayeon could tell she had a counteract ready for what she had just said. "Two people don't have to be friends to date. Plus, you're often seen at school tailing after her."

"But that's because I'm pestering her, and well, these days it’s because she’s tutoring me."

"But that's not what everyone knows. What they know is that you've been spending quite a lot of time with Sana, and so it would make sense to them that you're dating her." Momo put a hand on her hips. "Also, she's not tutoring you. At least not yet. Maybe not ever. And if she really doesn't want to, you have to respect that. It's not like she owes you anything."

This had Nayeon thinking. And she thought about it as she ate dinner, washed the dishes, and even as she took her quick shower before going to sleep. When she finally lay in her bed, facing the ceiling, the image of Sana wearing her usual poker face and rolling her eyes whenever Nayeon was around flashed in her mind. 

If her response to the rumor really was bound to make it bigger (which it probably was), it'd be good for Nayeon, as it would direct the students' attention to her again. Yes, she still had to share with Sana, but perhaps this way she wouldn't feel so replaced anymore.

But there was a question at the back of Nayeon’s mind. A question she did her best to ignore, fearing the answer she had for it.

Is this all still about the fame, or am I genuinely enjoying Sana’s company?

Sleep didn't come easy to Nayeon that night. All she could think of was her moments with Sana, and, well.. Sana.

*

Deciding that Sana was her enemy gave Nayeon a newfound reason to look forward to every day.

("Another chance to ruin Sana's day", she would say mentally whenever she stepped a foot inside the school. This time, the sea of attention and admiration she would gracefully swim through in school looked so little to her compared to Sana's reactions and responses to her teasings. Oh, how she loved it when Sana rolled her eyes, and whenever she grunted because she was always forced to move, because Nayeon would always appear next to her wherever she went, and moving was the only way she could get some peace—well, a few minutes of peace. Because Nayeon would always find a way to appear next to her again no matter how hard she tried to avoid her.)

One time, Sana just heaved a deep breath, rolling her eyes again (which Nayeon loved to see) as she rummaged through her bag. Few seconds later, she brought out her white and pastel pink earphones, plugged it in, and played music through her phone. Nayeon raised a brow at this, not happy at all about getting ignored for, what—Nayeon looked down at the book Sana was reading—for Physics ?!

Her temper taking reigns, Nayeon attempted the first thing that occurred in her mind: freeing Sana's left ear from the earphone. And she wasn't very successful. Because before she could even touch the thing, Sana's fingers were already tight around her wrist, preventing her hand from getting any closer.

"Don't even think about it," Sana said without tearing her gaze off of the book. Quietly. She said it quietly but it still sent chills along Nayeon's spine.

A gasp, and Nayeon felt dizzy. She wasn't entirely sure if the chills were caused by fear, or by surprise—she hadn't felt Sana's skin against hers before, let alone her fingers around her wrist.

Nayeon pulled her hand away, her usually unwavering stare at Sana wavered for once, and she rubbed her wrist that had been touched. She didn't know which feeling to deal with first—the fast beating of her heart, the heat that settled in her cheeks, or the butterflies in her stomach that were suddenly set free again?

For the rest of the break, Nayeon just sat there, next to Sana, in the field under a tree. The wind blew sometimes, and it would bring some strands of Sana's hair in the way of her face. Nayeon wasn't supposed to like it. The mere view of Sana, hair dancing in the wind, pointed nose peeking as it always did, wasn't supposed to make her feel things—Sana, on whatever occasion, wasn't supposed to make her feel things, but her beauty and everything that she was was so quiet and gentle and it hurt whenever it struck Nayeon, because it always did so tormentingly slow that Nayeon felt every bit of aching delight that came with it, with the fact that she was lucky enough she could look at her, and it took her breath away. 

Nayeon knew she had better get on her feet and walk away, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, because while she wasn't supposed to stay and feel this way, she couldn't deny that, at that very moment, that was the only feeling that seemed right. 

Eventually, it wasn't just Sana's reactions that kept up Nayeon's anticipation, but just Sana herself. 

*

Remembering all this had her heart leaping and rolling down to her stomach, startling all the butterflies there that had been nothing but tamed for the past three years. There was a burning sensation that came with the gentle ruckus in her tummy, and when it eventually crept up to her cheeks, she was convinced she's actually going insane.

*

"Are you actually insane?" Sana asked, finally letting Nayeon's wrist go the moment they reached the school parking lot. "No, actually, forget I asked. You are actually insane, Im Nayeon."

"Wow, you sound hot when you say my name like that."

Sana dodged her attempt at flirting, and instead asked again, "what the heck were you thinking?"

"Uh... Nothing?"

"So you randomly just thought that giving other people a reason to believe we're dating was a good idea?"

"Mhm," Nayeon hummed and nodded, her face looking nothing but innocent, and this made Sana sigh out of frustration.

"Jesus Christ- why are you so hell-bent on trying me?"

Sana was pacing back and forth now, hands settled on her hips, as though she was trying really hard to find a reasonable answer to her own question but there just wasn't any. Nayeon had never seen her so aggravated, and she was silent for a good while, not only because she didn't have an answer either, but also because she liked what she was watching. She tried biting back her smile, but a little of it still showed, so she lowered her head.

Too late; Sana had still caught her.

"Oh, you think this is funny? I didn't come here to play your games, Nayeon."

Nayeon shrugged, lifted her hand near her face before fiddling with her nails. "Well, it seems you have no choice but to do exactly that." She wanted nothing more than to chide herself that moment. Because here she was, alone with Sana. The fuming Sana, which was her second favorite Sana (the first one being the Sana that met her that day at the café), and she couldn’t even bring herself to look at her.

“You are the absolute worst. Don’t you have anything better to do? Like, I don’t know, actually try harder in Physics? I heard you really have low chances of graduating because of that single subject.” Sana nagged, and Nayeon wanted to be annoyed. She would be, if it hadn’t been for the genuine hint of concern that she found lying between Sana’s words.

“That’s the main reason I keep tailing after your , remember? I need your help.”

“No, Nayeon, you’ve been tailing after my even before this whole Physics thing.”

Silence was the only thing that stood between them for a moment, reminding Nayeon of that time in the restroom, their first time actually talking to each other; reminding Nayeon of the first time she really was able to see Sana’s grace, the time she had it all to herself. Just like this time. 

Sana’s exasperation was easy to tame, and finally, Nayeon was able to look at her.

Not just look, but stare. She couldn’t help it, not when Sana turned out to have been looking at her, too. She held her gaze, and with it, her own breath. She didn’t know it was possible, all this time she thought it only happened in books or films, but right now, all Nayeon could see was Sana, everything around her became a blur. Sana. Her hazel doe eyes and pointed nose. Sana and her subtle beauty that grew on you gradually you wouldn’t even realize it’s already ingrained in your brain. Sana was all she could see, and all she could think of was, please, Sana, I hope you see only me, too.

Nayeon rolled her eyes, almost an excuse to look away. “Well, what do you want me to do? It’s already out there.”

“What I want you to do is to go on live again and take back what you said.”

“Take what back? I didn’t confirm anything. It was a silly response.”

“Oh, was it? Because now almost everyone believes we are together.”

Sana kept going, something about Nayeon needing to practice thinking first before saying anything. Something about her being selfish. But it was hard to focus on those as Nayeon could see a group of students approaching. She needed to think of a way to shut Sana up. And she needed to think quick.

“...just tell them the truth, Nayeon. Tell them we’re not really da-”

Nayeon resorted to the first thing that came to mind despite it not making any sense: pulling Sana close by her hand, so close that her lips touched the corner of Sana's. And honestly, Nayeon impressed herself. The action was out of pure impulse, and pure desperation. If she had completely done it without any deliberation, without the word "consent"  repeating at the back of her head, she wouldn't have gone only for the spot she'd gone for.

Both girls’ eyes were widened, but Nayeon was first to close hers, and as the bunch of students approached nearer—each of them seeming to have forgotten they had one another as a company as they watched the two queens of their high school kiss (or so they believed), in completely to the world the two ruled—she felt the urge to even rest her arms upon Sana’s shoulders. She had no choice then but to make it seem real. And she wanted to have the other students see that this was Minatozaki Sana, the Japanese girl everyone hovered around. Minatozaki Sana whose attention was practically gold to everyone, and Nayeon was kissing that very girl.

Minatozaki Sana who was hers.

Sana pushed her away just the same time the students had passed by. The first thing she did was brush the back of her hand against so harshly as if she believed that doing so would erase what had just happened, and Nayeon’s heart sank as she witnessed it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

But Sana did not really wait for her answer. She walked straight out on Nayeon, gritting her teeth, jaws clenched, and her eyes, those gentle eyes that reflected her forbearing nature, never had Nayeon seen them so full with disappointment, confusion and rage.

Nayeon admitted, although silently, that she went a little too far with that stunt. Even she herself had a hard time understanding her own action. She sighed as she slammed her back against the car behind her, and without being able to stop herself, she began thinking back to how this all began.

It was Mr. Kim that’s at fault, and whoever the hell invented Physics.

*

“I’m not going to beat around the bush. You are failing Physics, Ms. Im.”

All Nayeon could hear at that moment was a high-pitched ringing. In her ear. In her head. Her face crumpled into the embodiment of puzzlement. “What? I always pass my homeworks.”

“Which is suspicious because you never seem to be present in my class.”

Mr. Kim reclined on his desk that sat at the very front of the classroom, one foot over the other with his arms crossed. His regard stayed focused on Nayeon. Nayeon who was sitting on the arm of a chair, still in her pink cheerleading getup as she was in the middle of practice when the instructor demanded her presence.

“Yes, but I pass my homeworks,” Nayeon still insisted.

“Ms. Im, excuse my language, but I am not stupid. I know you have other students doing them for you.”

“What?”

“Not to mention the scores of your homeworks and exams don’t really match up.”

“Well, of course, you give us different items to answer for homework, and another different set for an exam. You can’t expect me to have the same scores on them.”

Mr. Kim did not even bother. Just shut his eyes, his lips thinning into one line, and Nayeon also saw how his jaws tensed for a bit, as if having a hard time mustering tolerance for the 17-year-old girl in front of him.

“You know what I mean, Ms. Im.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” 

He stood up straight, reminding Nayeon of how tall he actually was, and walked over behind his desk, dismissing Nayeon just like that. Nayeon heard the noise of a drawer being pulled out, and next thing she knew, Mr. Kim had dropped a set of bond papers, creating a soft and subtle thud against the surface of the desk. Nayeon immediately reached for it, and if she thought her face couldn’t have been more distorted than it already was, she was absolutely wrong.

“A problem set?!”