~Sojung~ 

I got home late last night because I was trying to get some extra training now that school is close to starting again. Thank goodness I have a car, because the buses from campus to my house were all done for the day.

Relief washed over me when I found Eunha sleeping on the couch, and an unopened box of fried chicken sitting on the coffee table. I told her not to come because I was unsure of what time I'd be home, but she came anyway. It's not like my parents mind. They adore Eunha and basically treat her like another daughter.

She woke up despite my attempts at keeping quiet, and she would have jumped to me if not being half-awake. 

But I wake up disappointed when she's not by my side anymore. I check the time and see that it's almost 11, but Eunha surprisingly woke up earlier. Trudging out of my room, I see the back of her head with her short hair at the dining table.

"Good morning," she says without turning her head.

"Morning." I wrap my arms around her neck and dig my nose into the side of her head, taking a big sniff. She's used to that. She smells like a newly bathed baby, so I can't help it.

"You wanna eat the chicken from last night?"

"Why didn't you stay in bed with me if you're just sitting out here?" I change topics.

"I was watching anime. Didn't want to wake you up."

"But I got sad." I pout and turn on my aegyo.

"Sorry. I'll make it up to you." Eunha kisses my cheek before going back to scrolling on her phone.

I huff, but an idea comes to mind. Ever since Eunha cut her hair shorter, there's nothing in the way of her neck anymore— meaning I can tickle her anytime, or...

I plant a kiss right under her ear, then another on her pulse point. I lean closer and kiss , and she gulps subtly. Kissing her collar bone then going back up to her jaw, her head turns slightly, and our eyes meet. Her normally round eyes are closed halfway, and her lips are puckered and so close.

Not even three seconds, we jolt apart after hearing someone clear their throat from behind us.

"Eo-eomma," I shakily greet while slowly straightening up.

"You're lucky it was me and not your father." She grabs her keys and heads to the door. "I'm leaving for work now."

Once she's gone, Eunha and I exchange looks. "I should have told you your mom was still here."

Why do people always ruin our moments?

She kisses me one last time before going to the fridge and grabbing the chicken.

-

It was insanely hot yesterday, but the clouds decided to be kind today and put some shade over the city. The air is only a tad humid, and it didn't burn or make me sweat too bad. 

On our walk, Eunha spots a cat chilling along a wall. She never really pets strays because they always run away from her, contrasting Yuna who attracts any animal. 

"I've been into cats lately. I feel like our energies would match up better," she tells me. "You've always wanted a dog. What was your dream breed again?"

"A poodle. They're one of the smartest breeds. I'd like to be able to train them easily," I shrug. "I told you Eunbi got a puppy for her birthday, right?"

"You did. You forwarded the picture she took."

There's a pout on her face, and l can't tell if it's because she's sad or if she's thinking about something. "Should I have gotten you a cat for your birthday?"

"Of course not! My parents wouldn't approve of that at all! Well, it's not like they approved of the expensive beef set either."

"When will your parents understand that I'm not trying to bribe you? It's almost been two years."

"Someday, Sojung. I'm the youngest, with my older siblings already married. They're all just looking out for me." Eunha takes my hand and clasps it around hers.

A sudden thought comes to mind. "I need your advice with something."

"Sure."

I sigh out of mild frustration. "It's about  Eunbi."

"What about her?"

"Her and Yerin. It still doesn't sit right with me."

"I thought you talked to them," the shorter says with a tilt of her head.

"I did. I thought they were pretty okay that time, but Eunbi's reaction to Yuna telling her why she broke up with Yerin... It changed how I saw things." 

"How so?"

"It's like Eunbi didn't trust Yerin. And I thought I could overlook this after everything, but I still think it's wrong to date a friend's ex!" I exclaim. "Like, isn't that 'The Girl Code'?"

Eunha smacks her lips. "I agree with you there. But Sarang, you said so yourself that there's not much we could do regarding their choices. Yuna has insecurities, Eunbi struggles to empathize, and Yerin can't seem to figure out what the right thing to do is. I've known them just as long as you have. What you and I need to do... is help them see the objective truth." She takes both of my hands and swings them side to side lightly.

"I just wish I could understand— how Yuna is still in love with Yerin, how Yerin got over Yuna so quickly, how Eunbi really feels... and how this is going to play out."

There's so much I want to know. 

The objective truth is a difficult concept. I have biases, morals, opinions, and feelings too. There are relationships I wish to keep intact. If Eunbi and Yerin were to call it quits, would I have to choose? If Yuna and Yerin got back together, what would I do?

Why are feelings so difficult? They're all in our head anyway. 

And our pants too, I guess.

Sojung, get yourself together! That's a dangerous thought to have in public with your girlfriend so close to you.

My phone rings (thankfully). "Oh? Yuna's calling." I answer it, and she sounds down. "I'm out with Eunha, but we were just about to go back to my house. Everything okay?"

"I need to see you."

It sounded like a desperate plead, and Eunha could tell by my face that something was wrong.

When we get back to the house, I find Yuna sitting at the steps, holding herself tightly. She looks up at me, and I could feel my heart ache at the tears in her eyes and her lip quivering. 

"Yuna..." 

She walks up to me with slow steps, then practically falls into my arms as she cries into my shoulder.

-
 

I could say "I told you so."

I could tell her "That's what you get for letting her go in the first place."

I could go to Yerin and shoot an arrow through her heart just like I warned her.

But none of those are even close to the most logical thing to do.

It's a complex story that I just can't look at objectively. Yuna is my best friend. She is my number one.

(Eunha is 0.1, but that's not the point.)

Yuna's not the heroine.

Yerin isn't the villain, nor is Eunbi.

Yuna knows why Yerin did it. Heck, Yerin is just doing what Yuna wanted— for them to mature separately and learn how to love and be better people.

But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. 

My best friend didn't come to me to be lectured. She came to me because her heart is at its breaking point.

I excused myself to gather my thoughts before I could say something rash. Eunha's always been the calmer one in that sense. She's doing a better job at keeping Yuna in one piece.

I honestly thought Yerin would be the one, y'know?

She treated Yuna a lot better than her previous relationships, me included. Yuna was a lot happier. At least, that's how it seemed in the beginning. 

But sometimes, that chosen person is just not enough to fix our imperfections.

"I thought we could happen again," I hear Yuna say as I come back quietly to the living room. "I know kissing her and trying to win her back wasn't the right thing to do... but I wanted to try." She pauses as she lets out a shaky breath. "I was desperate."

"Desperate for?" Eunha asks carefully.

"For love." Yuna's voice broke a little. "To be loved by her."

And that's all I needed to hear. 

Everyone wants something.

Yuna? She wants to be loved. She wants to be someone's whole world, because she herself can do the same.

-----

~Yuna~

December

Who even started kissing people under the mistletoe?

Mistletoe is literally a parasite plant. The fruit, stem, and leaves of mistletoe are poisonous too, so I don't get how it's romantic. It's not even pretty compared to poinsettias which are also a trademark Christmas plant.

Yerin always looks at me a certain way after we kiss. Her eyebrows droop, and her ears get a little red. Her lips stay pouty, making me want to kiss them again. I smile when one of her pet names for me rings through my ears— she called me 'angel'.

She loves Christmas. As Christians, you would think we'd spend more time talking about the birth of Jesus. But as Koreans, ‬it's all about food, snow, and almost becoming a year older. 

"You okay?" 

My thought bubble pops at the question. I realize I've been staring at her blankly for too long. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Getting tired? Did you drink any alcohol?" Yerin grabs her empty cup and fills it with water for me.

"I wouldn't want to leave yet if you want to stay for longer."

"It's alright. Eunbi probably wants to leave too."

The said girl pops into my vision, but walks away. "Eunbi," I call to her.

She slows her steps and turns to us, somewhat awkwardly. "...yeah?"

"Are you staying? We're gonna head out."

Eunbi's eyes shift between Yerin and I before saying, "You can go ahead. I'm staying." Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she continues her path and ends up talking to a pair of teammates.

That was weird. Eunbi's an introvert. She doesn't want to leave a social gathering yet?

--

I don't know what came over me. Alcohol is gross, with the taste reminding me of gasoline. I could drink champagne and wine, maybe light beer, but party liquor... ew. 

But as my teammates drag me to play games, as my cup keeps getting refilled, as the new year is rolling around in the next hour, and as Eunbi is the only person who can accompany my lonely girlfriend, I couldn't stop letting the burning liquid flow down my throat. 

Sojung and Eunha are probably making out in a dark corner, with the taller complaining about her neck hurting. Eunbi didn't want to come initially, but Yennie somehow got her to join with just a pout and a 'please?'

My vision gets blurry despite wearing contacts, yet my eyes still find Yennie every few minutes. She's barely drinking, maybe because Eunbi keeps stealing her cup and chugging its contents. Why is Eunbi so close? Yennie is shifting in her place, but she keeps a smile while the other is swaying against the wall. 

Why is Eunbi smiling like that? She always smiles that way when talking to Yennie. She always laughs at her jokes. They're always talking about taekwondo. Is it