He wants to collapse. He wants to just fall over on the sidewalk and sleep. He wants to stop. He wants to rest forever. He can't even breathe properly. Sungjin stumbles over to their house and just wants to lie down on the porch and sleep through the cold winter. His eyes were giving up on him, his body, his mind, everything. Everything was falling apart around him, inside him, but he remains standing by himself, soulless. He wants to stop, drop everything, leave everything and go.

But he can't. He can't stop. He can't do it even if he's tried to. Something keeps on pulling him back. Something keeps on reviving him. Something keeps on bringing his soul back to him. Something urges him to stumble, crawl forward if he has to. Something wants him to endure it and move on. Something. Some — someone. Someone keeps on giving him reasons to go on. Someone keeps on giving him reasons to move forward, someone keeps on pushing him forward. Someone keeps on catching him whenever he falls.

Someone. Someone keeps on bringing a candle to the dark, endless pitch he kept on falling into. His dark surroundings disappear in a second with that small candle. Someone kept on encouraging him without them knowing. Someone kept on supporting him. Someone kept on pulling him with them, not leaving him behind. Someone kept on waiting for him no matter how long. Someone. Someone kept catching his tears. Someone kept on giving him bright smiles.

"Yah," Jaehyung smiles softly at his weary appearance.

Jaehyung steps aside and lets him in, grabbing his shoulder and squeezing it as he walked past him.

Wonpil looks up from where he was playing with Dowoon, "Oh, hyung! Welcome home!"

Sungjin smiled ever so softly, so tiredly. Dowoon blinks and looks up at him with a frown.

"There's food in the kitchen, hyung," Dowoon still pulls a small smile.

Sungjin nods.

"Go wash up and go to bed. You look like you're gonna collapse," says Jaehyung. "How was the meeting?"

"Bull as usual," mutters Sungjin as he walks to the kitchen.

The clock hits 11 PM.

"Boss still giving you paperwork?" Jaehyung walks into the kitchen as well, leaning onto a chair.

Sungjin hums, "They won't give me a ing break. And the paperwork they keep on giving ain't easy."

Jaehyung watches him prepare his own food, "But… you can do it, right? We can help you."

Sungjin pauses and looks back weirdly at him, "What are you saying? The boss will kill you if you help me. You know he hates me to my bone marrow."

Jaehyung frowns. Sungjin takes his food to the table and sits down with a heavy sigh.

"You might get fired if you even talk to me. That's why everyone left me," mutters Sungjin.

"It wasn't your fault that his wife hit on you!" Jaehyung argues.

"Well according to him, it was," Sungjin mumbles.

" him. I'm going to resign if he doesn't lay it off on you," says Jaehyung.

"You can't resign, you're the head — "

"I can and I will," says Jaehyung, stepping a foot down.

Sungjin kept quiet. Jaehyung sighs, his eyes softening as he watched the younger eat silently.

"Stop watching me eat," Sungjin complains.

"I'm going to talk to him," says Jaehyung.

"Why?" Sungjin furrows his brows.

"Because! Look at you!"

"I'm working, Jaehyung, it's normal to — "

"So you're telling me I ain't working?!" Jaehyung cuts. "Wonpil and Dowoon. You're telling me they're not working? Brian."

Sungjin looks down.

"You know Brian will resign if the boss won't stop right after he talks to him," Jaehyung says.

That's right. Yesterday, Younghyun had told him that he was gonna talk to the boss if Sungjin came home tired still the next day. The next day came and alas, here he was, wishing to just be swallowed up by a hole on the ground. Younghyun is gonna be so pissed.

"And Brian works directly under the boss. He's second in command and the boss relies on him," says Jaehyung. "He's the greatest asset the company has because of his skills and if he resigns, there's a great chance that the company will crumble. The boss won't let him resign, Sungjin."

Sungjin sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"He's doing this on purpose," Jaehyung's voice softened. "You know, Sungjin."

Sungjin finishes eating. His lifestyle was changing. He was eating small portions lately.

"Where's Younghyun?" he asks.

"In your room. I think he fell asleep waiting for you," Jaehyung replies.

Sungjin nods as he finishes washing the dishes he used. He heads to his and Younghyun's shared room, the other three following him with their eyes and a frown. Sungjin smiles softly when he sees his partner sleeping peacefully on the bed, sprawled out. He changes out of his suit and into a pair of pajamas before slowly and very carefully crawling onto the bed.

He freezes when Younghyun's eyes open, eyes flicking to him. Younghyun smiles sleepily and reaches a hand to hold his face.

"Long day?"

Sungjin settles beside him and he sits up, taking him into his arms. Sungjin looks up and stares at him.

"Is the boss still being a to you?" Younghyun grins.

Sungjin chuckles, "He's making me redo everything, and added some more paperwork. You know, just the usual."

"Hyung," Younghyun sighs. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"But Younghyun-ah — "

"What? I will talk to him. I'm not gonna let him treat his employees like this," Younghyun says. "He drains them and then he gets mad at them if they didn't do things right or if they didn't pass on time. It's not just you, hyung."

Sungjin leans his head to his shoulder. The clock hits 12 and Sungjin bursts into tears. For once, everything seemed right. Everything seemed alright, everything seemed fine. And Sungjin buries his face onto Younghyun's chest.

"I'm so tired, Younghyun. I don't want it anymore. I want to stop," Sungjin sobs.

Younghyun embraces him tighter and rubs his back, "I know, hyung. Just… hang in there a little more. Hold onto me a little more. This is the last time, please hold onto me until tomorrow. I promise this is the last time."

Sungjin grabs a hold of his shirt tightly and for the first time, he lets himself go. For the first time, he holds onto something other than himself. For the first time, he relies on someone. For the first time, he lets himself fall apart. For the first time, he lets everything go and desperately grabs hold of a single thing.

Younghyun smiles and repeatedly runs his hand through his hair soothingly, calmingly; while his other hand still rubbed his back. Younghyun tugs him closer and hums softly. Sungjin still cries, muffling his sobs against his chest.

"Deep breaths, hyung," Younghyun reminds and smiles wider when Sungjin, between his sobs, inhales deeply. "That's it. You're doing well. Whatever anyone says, you're doing good, alright? You're good."

Sungjin sniffs, tightening his grip on his shirt. It felt like minutes, hours to him but when he looked at the clock, only a minute had passed. Younghyun pulls back a bit just to look at him.

"Have you eaten?" Younghyun asks.

Sungjin nods, "Yes."

Younghyun smiles wider, brighter, and Sungjin slowly calms down. He gains positivity from that smile and he takes deeper breaths.

"That's it, breathe," Younghyun continues pushing his hair back.

"Younghyun-ah, I love you," Sungjin whispers ever so softly.

Younghyun giggles, "I know. I love you too, hyung. Let's get some rest."

"Sorry I woke you up — "

"You have nothing to apologize for," Younghyun says.

Younghyun lies down, letting Sungjin lie on the right half of his body. He wraps his arm around his shoulders and pulls him in, smiling.

"Sorry," Sungjin croaks out, sniffing as he wipes his tears.

"Why? For crying?" Younghyun chuckles when Sungjin gazes up at him with a pout. He looked like a child. "I'm glad you trust me enough to come to me. You rarely show any emotions other than staring deep into their soul."

A giggle bubbles from Sungjin's throat, "First of all, you're my boyfriend. I'll go to you whenever, for whatever reason. Second, I do not stare like that."

"You do. Especially at Dowoon. You look at him like he's your kid," Younghyun grins lopsidedly.

"Well, you take care of him like he's your kid," Sungjin retorts.

"So, are you saying it's fatherly instinct? If I treat someone like my kid, you tend to do, too?" Younghyun teases and laughs when Sungjin glares at him.

Sungjin snuggles his head to his neck and wraps his arm around his waist. He presses a soft kiss on his jaw and his shoulders lighten. At 12 AM, the world holds his breath for a while, and that was the time Sungjin was able to breathe. And he feels like everything was going to be fine — he knows everything was going to be fine, as long as he has Younghyun on his side; as long as he has his resting place, his Zero O'Clock, then he'll be able to breathe.

 

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