it has been known that falling in love will be the most crucial and confusing feeling you'll ever feel. you have no idea how it really feels because no one can actually describe a feeling very accurately

they said it makes your heartbeat faster. it makes you go insane

it makes you smile at the most random time of the day.

They said if you love someone, you’ll see them in a slow motion even when they are doing absolutely nothing.

But those are still too broad to understand the feeling of ‘love’.

So how would I know? How can I say im in love if I ever feel it one day?

Mina closed her journal after writing her entry for the day. It has been her habit to write on it every morning before she does anything else. She read it somewhere that it’s healthy for your mental health and helps a lot with stress.

She got up and did her usual morning routine. She grabbed her phone as soon as it received a notification saying she has an unread mail.

“it’s probably just work again. It’s too early for this.”

She put her phone back on its place without reading the email. She chose to ignore it and continued to do her morning routine.

After cooking her breakfast, she finally grabbed her phone and checked her emails while eating.

Reminder: you have a scheduled shoot this afternoon. DO NOT BE LATE

Mina made a mocking face repeating the last capitalized words before finishing the last bite of her sandwich.

Her phone rang and she answered it right away after seeing the caller ID.

“Jeongyeon chan!”

“Good morning, Minari! Did you receive any emails? Because if not, I’m here to remind you about...”

“Yeah yeah, I know I have a shoot today. It’s not like I’m the forgetful one here.”

“Eeeeeh? Are you saying I’m forgetful?”

"I didn't say anything!"

“I’m being nice here and you’re attacking me? No Ice cream for you later.”

“Wait, what? What ice cream?”

“I was going to treat you out after your long day but…”

“Hey no! I was just kidding, jebal, mianhe, jebal.”

“Oh fine. Stop pouting. Good thing you’re cute. Take care with your shoot! Annyeong!”

The call ended and Mina didn’t realize she was smiling the whole time. Her jaw felt numb and her cheeks felt warm. She didn’t know what it was so she checked the weather and it seems like it’s about to snow. She was confused why her body was heating up for a moment but then she shrugged it off.

Mina arrived at the venue, she got prepped and already doing her poses. This shoot is for a magazine to be released next month. She enjoys her work. She feels amazing to be doing something she loves doing. The excitement never stops every time she received new projects.

She’s posing her and there, getting all the compliments from the staff and photographers.

“Looking really beautiful, Mina!”

“Good job!”

“Fantastic!”

All of these can be heard throughout the set but her head is wrapped around the idea of ice cream.

Cookies ‘n cream? Mint chocolate? Caramel? I want everything

Random flavors in her head, she’s craving even more. She wants to finish the shoot as quickly as possible so she can grab the promised treat from her friend, Jeongyeon.

While preparing for her last look for the shoot, she grabbed her phone and sends a text message to Jeongyeon.

“Is your wallet ready? I’m almost done here”

In less than a minute, she got a reply.

“I don’t think we can go because the other girls cancelled.”

“But you said, ice cream? I was looking forward to it ☹”

“Would it be okay if it’s just the two of us?”

“Why wouldn’t it be, okay? It’s not like we haven’t went out together alone?”

“You’re right, well okay! I’ll just stop by there since it’s near your set anyway.”

“Arraso, see you!”

Mina doesn’t understand why she feels even more excited than she was earlier. Maybe because it’s sooner now than earlier. Maybe because now that it’s just her being treated by Jeongyeon, she can order more flavors. Maybe.

She posed for another round and because she was excited, the photos came our absolutely amazing. The director approached her after the shoot and gave her compliments.

“You’re glowing, Mina. Are you perhaps, in love?”

“In love? I don’t even understand the concept of love.”

“You haven’t been in love?”

“I don’t think so? I don’t get how one person can be considered in love with someone just by feeling something out of the blue? I just don’t understand it.”

“Oh, it’s going to knock you off really bad. It’s inevitable, Mina.”

Mina let out a small laugh and shook her head.

“Nah. I don’t think it’s inevitable. I’ve been in this world for 24 years and I haven’t felt it. And I think, I’m doing okay alone anyways.”

“Oh Mina, you have absolutely no idea what you’re saying. Anyway, you did great today. Take care, and also your unbothered heart. Annyeong!”

They bid goodbye and Mina was fixing her bag when someone covered her eyes. She smiled because she recognized this person’s scent right away.

Coconut Lime

“Are you santa? Are you going to buy me ice cream instead of the annoying ostrich who promised to treat me later?”

Jeongyeon gently slapped Mina’s arm and complained while showing off her pout.

“Hey! Why are you being mean to me today?”

Mina couldn’t understand but she felt the urge to just pinch Jeongyeon’s cheeks and kiss it. She was just as surprised as Jeongyeon but she played it down by going back to fixing her bag.

“Ahm.. I was just teasing you! You’re really cute when you’re whinning.”

Although, she doesn’t know what exactly she’s feeling but she felt butterflies. She’s the one who gave a compliment but she felt butterflies.

What was that? What’s happening?

She was so confused with everything but keeps dismissing it. She keeps thinking it’s all about her excitement with the ice cream.

That’s right. It’s the ice cream’s fault.

Jeongyeon drove the car. It’s a more quiet than usual because it is usually all of them getting ice cream as a group. Chaotic as per usual, but at this moment, it is just the two of them. Mina the radio to break the silence.

The song playing made Jeongyeon smile. it's one of her new favorites. she was humming to the song while tapping the stirring wheel along with the beat.

Mina was just subtly watching Jeongyeon. from the bopping of her head to the fingers tapping.

And she recognized that it feels like her heartbeat was slightly going in sync with the tap of Jeongyeon's fingers. The tap of rhythm and beat of a song she doesn't even recognize.

as soon as she realized that thought, she panicked and it made her heart beat way faster. she can hear it. she can hear every thump.

she nervously looked at Jeongyeon and see if she can hear it but it seems like she doesn't have a clue because she's still humming and tapping to herself

Why can't she hear it? it's so loud. what's wrong with me?

Mina kept asking questions to herself the entire ride. She had to make a self-note to get a doctor's appointment about her chest.

"I didn't know you we're going to order 5 flavors! You might feel sick you know? you sure had a long day, huh?"

“Well, I’m the only one here so might as well get as much as I want!”

Mina let out a gummy smile and they went silent for awhile while eating their orders. She was eating 5 flavors all at once and Jeongyeon couldn’t help but stare in awe of this woman’s stuffed face. She wanted to try one of the flavors Mina ordered.

“Can I try one of your orders? The orange one”

Here goes my chest and stomach again. What is wrong with me?

Jeongyeon felt worried because Mina wasn’t responding and she has an indescribable expression. She guessed that she probably felt sick because of the amount of ice cream she just consumed.

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick? You look really weird.”

“Oh yeah I think I’m just tired from the shoot and I think I ate too much ice cream.”

“Well, what did I say? Come on let’s get you home.”

Jeongyeon offered her hand to help her stand. She thought Jeongyeon will eventually let go but she didn’t. They were holding hands on the way back to the car.

My hand is getting really sweaty. Self, please stop it. I don’t know what to do with you anymore.

It was a quiet ride on the way home. It wasn’t awkward to Mina, it feels safe. She feels secured. She glances at Jeongyeon once in a while and she doesn’t understand how can this woman make her feel so calm but at the same time insane. Jeongyeon glanced back at her and gave her a soft smile.

No. What is this? No. It can’t be. Is this it?

That smile made her world stop all of a sudden. That smile felt like it gave her assurance, that every burden she has in life is going to pass.

That smile. That smile made her heart skipped a thousand beats.

She doesn’t understand any of these feelings but she suddenly felt scared, terrified of what may happen or may come. Still so many questions but she’s scared. She knows but she can’t point it out and won’t admit it.

“Mina? We’re here. Minari? Hey. You, okay?”

She was caught off guard by Jeongyeon trying to get her attention by slightly tapping on her cheeks. She got startled by it. Jeongyeon laughed so hard, with tears and her eyes are barely seen. Mina on the other hand, didn’t laugh at all. She was just staring at Jeongyeon, not because she’s offended, not because it wasn’t funny but because her heart was happy witnessing this person’s happiness in front of her and it wouldn’t be enough to express it physically.

Jeongyeon accompanied Mina to her dorm and stopped in front of her door.

“What was that? We’re you day dreaming or something?”

“Yup! Something indeed.”

“What?”

“Nothing! Thank you for today. I’m sorry it was cut short because I felt sick.”

“Nah! Nothing to be sorry about. I just wanted to make your day a little bit lighter. I hope you enjoyed your ice cream. Are you okay now?”

No

“Yes. No need to worry. Thank you jeong, really.”

“Anytime, my Minari. I’m going now, okay? Text me if you need anything! Annyeong, sleep early penguin!”

My Minari

It has been 30 minutes since Jeongyeon left but Mina hasn’t left her spot behind her closed door.

My Minari

These 2 words kept on loop and she can’t seem to wrap her head around the idea of it sounding so good. It sounds like joy, it sounds like calm, it sounds like butterflies.

Butterflies.

Right there and then, she knew. She’s terrified but she knows. She knows exactly what’s happening.

She grabbed her journal and started writing on it. She never wrote twice in one day but this is something really important so she couldn’t let it go.

Love? Love is something you can never understand but that’s the most amazing part of it. You can never know how, when, where, or even to whom you’ll feel this with.

It’s the most terrifying yet exciting feeling you’ll ever feel.

Love is something you already felt for a long time but it could take some time for you to acknowledge it.

Love means a lot of things:

• It could mean being thrilled of something so shallow like an ice cream, but because it is with the person you love, it is insanely exciting
• It could mean just understanding her humor and her moods
• It could simply mean recognizing her scent

Love can easily be anything, anyone you least expect it to be.

SHE doesn’t know it yet but I feel like my world revolves colorfully when she’s around. It’s amazing how she can make my heart skip a thousand of beats just by hearing her hum to her favorite song or just holding my hand.

How it sounds so amazing to hear my name come out from . How I just want to record it and play it over and over.

It’s terrifying, it’s scary but it feels so damn good to be in love.

Love is absolutely confusing. There is no specific idea to understand how you love someone.

You never know, no one ever knows but all of these are inevitable.

I have no idea how
I have no idea why
all I know is by your side is the safest place on earth.

-fin-