Ryujin hadn't tried to collect her thoughts since the fight with her. She had just spent the rest of February at home, engrossed in movies and series and with her cats, paying little or no attention to her networks. Now that she no longer had anyone to talk to about the little things in her day-to-day life, she was more active on Bubble. Talking to her fans helped her feel a little better.

Yeji called her on the night of the 14th, asking her what the hell had happened. Ryujin just said:

“You don't have to worry about us getting caught anymore.”

When it was time to return to JYP in early March to prepare for the next comeback, Ryujin felt the despair grow inside her. April came in the blink of an eye, and with it came Guess Who. Ryujin poured herself completely into the new mini album, not wanting to think about anything else. She was congratulated for recording her parts in the new songs in just a few tries.

“All it took was a heavy heart,” Ryujin thought. It was kind of funny: others didn't work well after a breakup, but she was still just as productive.

Yeji had tried to cheer her up when it was mandatory for them to stay in their shared room, which was almost every day in March and April. The leader had made a single attempt to broach the subject directly, but seeing how Ryujin was abstracted and refused to speak, she gave up trying, so she was looking for subtle ways to cheer her up.

Ryujin was silently grateful for Yeji's concern towards her, but the short-haired girl just wanted to be alone, which was impossible for her, for reasons already stated. So, she had to pretend: when they recorded the songs, when they practiced the choreographies, when they recorded a behind the scenes. Sometimes fiction became reality for a few moments, and Ryujin had fun more than once talking to Chaeryeong, Jisu or Yeji in front of the cameras.

However, her smile twitched when it was her turn to talk to Yuna. They wouldn't talk if they didn't have to, if there was no one recording them. Ryujin kept her distance from the maknae. Chaeryeong spent a lot of time with Ryujin, or sent her messages and memes when they were in their dorm rooms. Ryujin wondered if Jisu would do the same with Yuna. Perhaps she would, as neither knew what had happened in depth; they only knew that Ryujin and Yuna were no longer together.

Ryujin remained strong during the day, but the night wreaked havoc on her. When she lay down to sleep, she couldn't help but think of Yuna, as she lay in the dark. The first month she went to bed crying more days than she would like to admit. An overwhelming sadness came over her in those moments, in the face of which she could only shrink back and hope to be pummeled by it. And even in those moments she couldn't fully unburden herself, as she had to hold back her sobs and snot so as not to wake Yeji. She didn't want to worry her leader any more.

In early May, Ryujin and the rest of ITZY arrived at the new dormitory. Ryujin arrived first, and soon after Yeji and Chaeryeong arrived. She and Jisu arrived last.

Ryujin was sitting on the couch in the living room of the new dorm, thinking about how great it was to have living room, when the front door opened. Her thoughts were reduced to focusing on the approaching footsteps.

Yeji and Chaeryeong came out of the kitchen to greet their roommates. Ryujin didn't get up from the couch. She turned her head to look at Jisu, and her eyes couldn't help but roll to her tall partner.

Yuna was still as gorgeous as ever. That was Ryujin's first thought upon seeing her, and she hated that it was so. Yuna returned her gaze, and Ryujin felt forced to look away. Another part consisted of Jisu.

“Hello, Jisu-unnie,” she said. She looked at Yuna and bowed her head slightly. “Hello, Yuna.”

Jisu waved at her. Yuna tilted her head to one side, and Ryujin thought she would ignore her, but she ended up greeting her:

“Hello, Ryujin-unnie.”

The formal tone sat horribly with Ryujin. She turned her focus back to the television that was left in front of the cabinet, even though it was turned off.

Yeji coughed.

“We have three rooms at the end of that hallway,” she pointed to a hallway in the living room. “Kitchen, three bathrooms and living room with TV,” she reported. “The staff told me it was our reward for such a good work all this time.”

“Wow, that's really great,” Chaeryeong said. “How will we decide on our rooms?”

“Rock, paper, scissors?” suggested Jisu.

“I'm horrible at that,” Yeji said. “Better the ladder game.”

“Okay,” said Chaeryeong.

“Fine,” Jisu said.

“Well,” Yuna said.

“Great,” Ryujin sighed, getting up from the couch.

“Whoever manages to fall into the crown gets the room alone,” Yeji said when they had the sheet in front of them.

“As long as it's not with Yuna, I'll be fine,” Ryujin thought. The presence of the maknae spurred her to get out of that living room as soon as possible.

They played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would play first. Ryujin won, so she picked up the pencil. She deployed all the mental agility she could and began to descend down the lines. She ended up at the crown. She sighed in relief as she listened to Jisu, Chaeryeong and Yeji protest their fate. Yuna remained silent.

That was how she ended up here, sitting cross-legged in the lonely room.

She was tempted a couple of times to talk to Yuna. Sometimes she opened her chat with the girl, who had been dead since February 14, 2021, and tapped the bar to type messages. She never got around to putting any letters.

Once she spotted her sitting alone in the living room. Ryujin had come out of her room and headed for the living room. Noticing a shock of black hair, she silenced her footsteps. Yuna could only see it if she stretched her neck back and turned her head, but she seemed to be concentrating on whatever the television was broadcasting. Ryujin wanted with all her might to go and sit next to her, take her hand and talk to her. However, she ended up heading for the kitchen. Yuna looked at her as she passed towards the kitchen (Ryujin noticed it thanks to peripheral vision), but Ryujin didn't make any gesture to go with her. Yuna didn't say anything to her either.

Back in their new apartment, with her feelings cooled, Ryujin spent the days when she had no schedule thinking. Why would she have to talk to Yuna? Why? To apologize to her? She hadn't done anything wrong. The push was overdone, she admitted to herself, but the truth was that Yuna shouldn't have tried to kiss her on that wall. And that in the ensuing conversation Yuna had refused to listen to her made it worse for Yuna, in Ryujin's eyes.

If the girl wanted to fix it, Ryujin thought she would listen to her. If not... With her heart in a claw, Ryujin supposed she would have to bury her feelings.

 If such a thing was possible.

---

Nuguilkka mafia?

The beat died down. Yuna kept her breathing as normal as possible until they shouted cut! then gasped. Another performance was done. She thanked the staff and headed with her team to the dressing rooms. Yuna was left behind at the back. In front of her, Jisu and Yeji were talking, and in front of them Chaeryeong and Ryujin were doing the same.

Ryujin. Yuna couldn't believe it had been three months without proper talking. She would often become engrossed in remembering the - rare - times when Ryujin and she had been a normal couple: the sleepover at Yuna's house, the date in December. Those moments lurked at the edges of Yuna's mind, attacking her at random moments. She could be watching TV and suddenly remember being in Ryujin's arms as they both watched Your Name. When she came to reality, she had lost the thread of whatever she was watching.

Yeji turned her head and looked at her. Yeji's eyes were sharp. Yuna cocked her head to the side, wondering why she was looking at her so seriously. Yeji looked straight ahead, at Ryujin, and looked back at Yuna. She peeled back her lips and moved them very slowly.

Yuna wasn't an expert at reading lips, but Yeji made it easy for her: fix your problem.

Yuna pursed her lips and averted her gaze. She didn't want to, because she hadn't done anything wrong. Ryujin being cautious (as she liked to call it) to levels bordering on the ridiculous wasn't Yuna's fault. It was irritating to see her always on her toes during the times they hung out together. Couldn't she relax? If she couldn't even hold her hand, why did she bother asking Yuna out?

Yuna just wanted them to be like the couples in the books she read, happy and carefree. Was that so much to ask?

Yeji's gaze was getting more unbearable by the minute. To her relief, Yeji resumed her talk with Jisu.

---

Yeji was sitting on one of the couches in the living room (there were two small ones and one big one), looking at her phone. Yuna was sitting on the large couch, changing the batteries on the TV remote control.

The front door opened and closed. Ryujin appeared in the room. She looked at Yeji, gave her a nod that Yeji interpreted as a greeting, and then saw Yuna. The maknae stopped her company and looked back at Ryujin. As always when they looked at each other, two impenetrable expressions appeared on their faces. Ryujin shook her head slightly again and walked off down the hallway of rooms. Yuna resumed her work as Ryujin left the room.

Yeji liked to take things slow, but the situation was playing dirty on her nerves. She didn't know who she wanted to pull her hair out more: Yuna or Ryujin. Despite the time that had passed, neither of them had told her what happened the day they last went out together, so she didn't know who to talk to. She was leaning towards the assumption that it had been Yuna who had screwed up, but she wasn't sure.

“Yuna,” Yeji said.

Yuna grunted, indicating that she was listening to her.

“Look at me.”

Yuna did.

“What?”

Yeji used the look they said scared people

“Fix your problem with Ryujin.”

Yuna grimaced. She pursed her lips into a thin line. She shook her head.

“There's nothing to fix,” a click sounded as she put the cover back on the remote. Yuna stood up.

“I'm not finished,” Yeji said, not taking her eyes off the maknae.

“I am,” Yuna said.

“Insolent,” Yeji said, annoyed.

If Yuna heard her she didn't show it. She disappeared down the hallway of rooms, leaving Yeji angry and frustrated.

---

Jisu walked out of the room she shared with Yeji, her head feeling dull. She had told herself she would take a short nap, which ended up lasting three hours. Yeji wasn’t in the room and the apartment was silent. Night was just creeping in, but it seemed like they were all out.

She went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She didn't feel like going out, so she went back to her room. She heard a noise in the hallway that made her stop. It sounded like it was coming from Ryujin's room. She leaned her ear against the door. She was grateful for the silence that reigned in the apartment. She pricked up her ear, hoping to hear something else.

She heard a sob.

Jisu peeled herself away from the door and looked at her, not knowing what to do.

“Shall I go in? Or should I leave her alone? Jisu struggled.

She grasped the knob, noticing that, judging from her sob, Ryujin didn't seem exactly calm.

“Ryujin?” she said, half-opening the door.

“Go away,” Ryujin replied.

“I'm Jisu,” Jisu didn't know what else to say. “Let's talk, okay? Or let me come with you.”

Jisu opened the door further and, as Ryujin didn't say anything, she went inside. She closed the door behind her and looked at Ryujin's bed, who was wrapped in sheets.

“Oh, honey,” Jisu murmured when she saw her glassy eyes, “What's wrong?”

Ryujin wiped her eyes, wordlessly. Jisu sat on the edge of the bed.

“It's about Yuna, isn't it?” Jisu said softly.

Ryujin nodded.

“You want to talk about it? Say whatever you want.”

Jisu understood what it was like to feel horrible about love. Luckily, she had been given someone to vent to, but that didn't seem to be the case with Ryujin. Or maybe the rapper didn't want anyone to talk to, even if she needed to.

“Don't keep it all to yourself,” Jisu muttered. “It's no good.”

Ryujin looked at her, hesitant. She sighed.

“Well,” she said softly. “The day that we… We went to Namsan Mountain. A couple of uncomfortable things happened, but they seemed to be quickly forgotten. We went up to the wall. There were a lot of people, and that made me nervous. I didn't want them to see us together. You know, because of the whole "trouble could break out" thing. Well, you understand. In the end, Yuna wanted to kiss me and I pushed her away. We were in public! It's a miracle that at that moment no one was passing by. Yuna got upset, even though I repeated the same old thing. She refused to listen to me and...” Ryujin had raised her voice. She stopped when she noticed it, and spoke again in a low voice. “She said it's preferable that we just be coworkers.”

“Are you for real, Yuna?” Jisu thought.

“Uhm,” Jisu said, “And you haven't talked since then.”

“Mm-hm,” Ryujin said. She curled up in the sheets. “I don't want to talk anymore.”

Jisu, not knowing how to proceed, merely patted Ryujin's head. She got up and left the room. She waited for a while leaning against the door, but to her relief, she heard no more sobbing.

---

“Yuna-yah,” Jisu called when they finished practicing. “Let's go to the cafeteria.”

“You're buying?” Yuna said.

Jisu rolled her eyes, but ended up smiling.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Then yes.”

Jisu chose the farthest table in the place.

“Yuna,” Jisu said, playing with her drink.

“What's up, unnie?”

“How have you been doing these past few months?”

“Fine,” Yuna answered.

Seeing that she didn't add anything else, Jisu spoke again.

“Really? You've been distant,” Jisu paused, hesitating whether to get into it all at once. She decided to do so, “especially when Ryujin is around.”

Yuna stiffened.

“Are you going to bother me with that too?” she asked quietly.

Jisu shrugged.

“Honey, the tension between you two is bad for the rest of us,” she said. “Yeji often gets stressed out because the interactions between you and Ryujin on camera are rare and awkward. Chaeryeong is absent if you two are present (I guess the heavy air it creates makes her uncomfortable), and I... I miss the meetings the five of us used to have.”

Yuna didn't respond, but she didn't just walk away either, like Yeji said she had done with her.

“I heard her crying in her room recently,” Jisu said in a low, soft voice.

Yuna turned to look at her.

“What?” she blurted.

Although she tried to appear calm, Jisu knew it had caught Yuna's attention.

“Yes,” Jisu said, not taking her eyes off Yuna. “And it's your fault.”

Yuna threw her head