🧸❤️🧸

"Excuse me, another serving of mandu tuigin please!"

"I'll bring it right away~" Donghae softly hollers back at the customer, his feet already shuffling towards the kitchen window to relay the additional order.

It's Donghae's third lunch rush and he somewhat already has the hang of it. Well, he has to give credit to Haneul ahjumma for being such a patient teacher. 

Haneul ahjumma is the epitome of the ideal mother—loving, patient, and kind; everything Donghae had only dreamt of in a mother he yearned for. When Haneul ahjumma first met him, the older woman quickly took Donghae in her arms and hugged him tightly, and he would never forget the warmth and love that radiated from that momentary exchange.

When he was young, Donghae’s imagination could only take him so far as transport him to a much better place for a little while before reality violently pulls him out and throws him on the ground like a dirty rag doll. 

Long were the nights where Donghae would cry so much his head hurts, yet even that wasn’t as painful as the gaping hole his so-called have left him. Growing up knowing that your parents didn’t even bat an eye before tossing you aside, no child should have gone through such a painful heartbreak at such a young age.

Yet, why was faith so cruel?

Before his mind takes him to a place he isn’t ready to revisit, Donghae quickly wipes away the tears that have formed around his eyes and goes about what he was doing. He wouldn’t want the customers waiting.

“One more plate of mandu tuigin please!” Junsu hyung, Haneul ahjumma’s son and head cook throws him a thumbs up before carefully throwing in one serving of dumplings into the piping hot oil. 

While he waits for Junsu to call him up, Donghae quickly attends to the group of students that just came. Like clockwork, he places five metal cups and a jug of cold water, all the while mentally taking down the orders of the five college students. Donghae repeats their orders back at them and once he gets their confirmation, he kindly tells them to wait ten minutes and he’ll be back with their food. 

It doesn’t take long for Donghae to fall into the habit of his work: take orders, deliver them, clean the tables, and repeat. Soon his mind is filled with endless orders and requests that his body goes on autopilot the whole duration of the lunch rush. Unknowingly, maybe this was the reason why Donghae loved the lunch rush; it kept him from delving into the whys and what nows that continuously run through his mind. Because as much as he would like to know the answers he was looking for, as Selene had promised, there was still fear in his heart that what if they weren’t as he had hoped? 

What if there was a mistake and he wasn’t supposed to turn back so soon?

What then?

Was Donghae supposed to aimlessly roam the streets for the rest of his life, looking for answers when he didn’t even know what the questions were?

Where does he even begin when there are so many things he wants to know but couldn’t because they have all blurred together and it’s getting harder and harder each day to decipher which of those matters the most?

“Hae?”

A soft voice cuts through his thoughts and brings him back to the present where he’s staring at the kitchen faucet whilst holding a soapy metal bowl. He looks toward the source and finds Haneul ahjumma looking at him with a worried expression, the warmth of her left hand gently placed on his right shoulder feels comforting.

“Are you okay, dear? I’ve been calling for you from the kitchen window but you weren’t responding.”

“Yes, sorry. I just, just have a lot on my mind I guess.”

Haneul ahjumma coos at him and pull him in for a tight hug. The effect was immediate, he feels his mind clear up and his heart slowly calms and is beating its steady lub-dub, lub-dub. He’s also starting to get choked up with tears although this time it’s because of relief. That though Haneul ahjumma doesn’t know what is weighing Donghae down, she was empathetic nonetheless. 

And as much as Donghae would have wanted to meet someone like her way earlier, he’s thankful still that he got to know her now.

Haneul ahjumma doesn’t ask him nor does she pull away when she’s starting to feel her shoulder moisten from Donghae’s tears. She just continues to rub comforting circles along Donghae’s back while the latter pours out all the years of pent-up suffering.

When he had no more tears left to cry, Hanuel ahjumma cups his face gently and wipes away the stray tears. She doesn’t say anything still, just smiles that motherly smile at him as if trying to convey that everything will be alright.

And at that moment, he feels as if that is true. That everything will be alright. 

So he believes, once again. Only this time Donghae has and is hopeful.

Because if he didn’t have hope in Selene’s promise then, he wouldn’t be where he is now. It was a sliver of hope but it was there nonetheless.

So Donghae will hold onto that hope, nurture it and help it thrive. And as he waits for the day he’s finally free from the shackles of his past, he’s going to learn and try to live in the present. Because though the past is important, dwelling too long in it would let the present slip through our fingers.

He no longer wants that, not anymore. This time, Donghae wants to live. He wants to enjoy this life he’s been given; to love and be loved as much.

🧸❤️🧸

Donghae comes home bearing gifts with him. Hanuel ahjumma insisted that he clocked out early, even letting him go home with takeout enough for three. 

“I’m home!” Donghae calls out from the front door, “And I’ve brought home dinner.” he adds. Once he has successfully removed his shoes, he goes to the kitchen to set down the paper bag full of takeout. His stomach starts to rumble the second he opens the paper bag, the delicious smell of tangsuyuk, jjajangmyeon, and jjampong fills the room, and his mouth starts to water. 

Hyukjae and Kyuhyun come out of their rooms when Donghae is finished setting the table. 

“Wow, thank you for the meal!” Kyuhyun excitedly claps Donghae’s back, earning an embarrassed chuckle from the latter.

“Did you buy all this? You just started working, you should have saved it instead.” Hyukjae, however, doesn’t share the same sentiment. He warily takes his seat directly in front of Donghae with his hands clasped and gently resting at the table. Donghae reassures him that it was Hanuel ahjumma that gave him the takeout, and even mentions that the kind old lady wouldn’t let him leave without taking the paper bag home.

“Okay…” Hyukjae sighed resignedly, “thank her for us, she’s been nothing but kind to us from day one.”

Donghae and Kyuhyun perk up from Hyukjae’s answer and begin to delightedly dig in. It doesn’t take long for the dinner table to be filled with the sound of cutlery clanking on metal bowls and satisfying slurps and moans of appreciation for the delicious food. With the whirlwind of emotion that Donghae has gone through, he’s happy that he gets to end his day with these two people in front of him.

He’s got a long way to go but he’s taking one step at a time. And this time, he needs to start celebrating even the little victories in life, especially now that he’s got the right people to celebrate them with.

So today he’ll end the day with a grateful and hopeful heart. 

Grateful for the people he now has with him; hopeful for what the future has for him. 

And though it’ll be an uphill climb, he knows he isn’t alone this time.