"What do you think, Na?”

Madam Kim asks you as you examine yourself in the huge mirror set infront of you. You were in a showroom boutique, shopping for your engagement gown.

“It’s a little too—” The older lady looked at you expectantly, “much.” You finish, not knowing how to say the dress was flashy and not at all your style without hurting her feelings. The dress that you were wearing was her choice. It looked gorgeous when it was on the rack but when you wore it, you just seemed to have ruined it.

“Okay, what do you like and don’t like about it?” The sales assistant who had been appointed to help you, pries, “Do you like the color?”

“Yes, I like the color…” You take a breath, “But I don’t like anything else.”

“Do you have a specific style in mind?”

“I do, but I’m not sure if it’s.. appropriate for—” You say, shooting a glance at the lady standing behind you, listening closely.

“Oh honey, you are the Don’s daughter-in-law,” She assures you, giving a light chuckle, “If you want it, it’s appropriate,” She shrugs, “Now tell us, what were you thinking?”

“Jangmi and I were talking last night,” You start, smiling a little when Madam Kim rolls her eyes playfully. You and your best friend had spent the better part of yesterday and night looking at your options for a dress and you had some ideas.

“I was thinking something a little ier,” You say, elaborating your ideas, “You know, maybe a thigh slit or a little more cleavage, or a figure hugging gown?” The sales assistant smiled, listening attentively as you described further about the kinds of dressed you’ve liked in the past and what you were comfortable wearing. When you finished, she grinned.

“I think I know the perfect dress for you,” She said and rushed away to get you the dress. She drags out a filled rack of clothes to you, grinning excitedly. “These are your options,” She gestured to the rack, “You can take a look and see what you like,” She says, “But, I personally think this is what you are looking for.”

She pulls out a gorgeous gown with intricate detailing all over the bodice and skirt. Madam Kim lets out a tiny gasp at the beautiful piece of clothing and looks at you to watch your reaction. The gown was probably one of the more dramatic and fancier kinds of dresses you’ve seen.

“Can I try it on?” You ask tracing the material with your hand. The sales assistant nodded excitedly and quickly dragged you to change into the dress.

The fitting was expectedly little off, you might need to fix it to fit you right but the color looked beautiful against your skin. There was a thigh high slit and with the right fitting, the bodice would cinch in and the skirt would to show off your curves and your shoulders would be on display for the on-lookers. There was an overskirt which mimicked a ball-gown look and it only added to the gown’s grandeur.

It was a beautiful gown nevertheless, extravagant and subtly y.

“You look heavenly, dear.” Madam Kim said in awe, “Namu’s lucky to have you as his wife.”

You smile shyly, “Thank you,”

“We’ll take this one,” Madam Kim tells the excited staff, “Have it ready by next week and we’ll send someone over to pick it up.”

“Yes, ma'am.” She nods, “Would you like to look at the shoes we have?”

After getting your measurements taken and buying a few pairs of shoes to match your dress and a few other things, you and Madam Kim were out of the place.

“Where do you want to have lunch, sweetheart?” Madam Kim asks, when you are finally in the car with your purchases, “Is there something you are craving?”

“There’s a fusion place that serves amazing food,” You say, starting the car. You had requested to not get chauffered on your shopping trip. You had picked her up in the morning and had driven her around the city. “Would you like to go there, ommo-nim?”

“Fusion place?”

“Yeah,” You nod, driving out of the parking lot, ignoring the cars that followed you. You had specifically requested to not get chauffered, not without bodyguards, so you really did get what you asked for. “The chef trained in traditional Korean cuisine and now he serves them with a more modern, more western take. I enjoyed the food last time I ate there.”

“Do you eat there often?” She enquires and you indulge her in the conversation.

“Not very often,” You shake your head, “We take our foreign clients there. If they are adventurous, they enjoy more traditional flavours and if they are picky, something there usually satisfies them.”

Madam Kim nods in understanding, “Have Namu and you been talking?” She asks, taking a glance at you, “I know you haven’t really met again after the dinner, but I hope he atleast has your number and that you are talking and getting to know—”

You keep quiet, your mind wondering at the last encounter you had with him; him pushing you against a wall, talking nonchalantly about taking you against it, his kisses and his ridiculous deep voice.

Even days after the incident, it still flared a sort of thirst within you. You had let your mind and hands wander away that night and let shame take over the next morning, but the thirst hadn’t vanished, merely subsided for a short while.

Madam Kim takes your silence as a no, and clicks her tongue in disappointment. “He hasn’t, has he?” She sighed, “I don’t get what is wrong with him?” She shakes her head, “I hope he is not hurting you with his actions, sweetheart. He’s just a shy boy,” You give a understanding nod, though you disagreed with what she was saying. The man wasn’t shy, not in the least. Your last interaction was evidence to that. He was just an who wants to make sure you know what you are signing up for.

“Please take care of him, Nari. I know he isn’t a prince charming and his actions aren’t exactly swoonworthy, but he’s not a bad man.” Madam Kim tells you sincerely, “A little slow in the matters of heart, but he knows what’s expected of him and he will try his best to be the best husband for you—”

“I understand, ommo-nim.” You smile tightly, “I will try to be a good wife for him too.” You cut her off, as politely as you could, masking it with sincerity.

You didn’t want to have the conversation of him being a good husband to you. Being a husband was duty to him and you didn’t want him to be duty bound to you. You wanted him to do things for you, care for you, be with you because he loved you or atleast because he felt something for you in his cold heart.

Madam Kim smiled at your words, but stayed silent from then on till you reached the restaurant. You wondered if she picked up on your discomfort at the subject or if she just felt heard and had gotten busy with her own thoughts. You had reached your destination, gotten a table at the open terrace that overlooked the city and had ordered for the food. It was then, Madam Kim picked up the conversation again.

“I get scared sometimes you know,” She said, making you perk up curiously. What could possibly scare Madam Kim, the strongest woman you know? “What will happen if we died suddenly? Joonhyung and I?” You blink confused at the sudden remark.

“Ommo-nim, I think you are worrying for no reason!” You laugh lightly, trying to ease the air. “I’m sure the two of will live a long, healthy and lively life!”

“You can’t be so sure about that, Nari-yah,” She pats your cheek, “You never know with life and death, and with the kind of life we live, it wouldn’t be a surprise if we are killed.” She laughs, almost carelessly and cheerfully. You wonder if the carelessness was something she had grown accustomed to.

Living in constant fear for your and your loved ones’ lives must do something to you.

She had been married into Bangtan against her wish, decades ago from a perfectly law-abiding, poor family. Her family had a run-in with Bangtan and had been blackmailed into helping them commit crimes. Madam Kim, a then twenty year old had put up a fight and ultimately led to the goons getting captured by the police.

The goons were out within hours though, but the former Don found out about her and was impressed with her courage and skills in being able to put his son and his other men behind bars, in a country where the police were basically Bangtan’s uniformed goons.

He asked for her hand in marriage to his son and her parents accepted, because they had no choice. Madam and Don hated each other in the beginning apparently, so much that they didn’t cosummate their marriage on the wedding night. It was blasphemy at that time and it had caused a whole issue for them.

Not many knew the intricate details of their early years of marriage but you knew the first few years were very hostile. Your father said if anyone saw them then, they’d never dream that they’d be this happy, in love and with two kids years down the line. They never pretended to even tolerate each other, until the Don brought home a new born baby girl, Saera.

The new born had apparently marked a new start or change in their relationship, while they didn’t have their own child yet, the Don had basically adopted the newborn when he picked her up. The newborn had brought them closer as a couple and eventually led to them falling in love, as hopelessly as they are now. They had Namjoon and Jangmi later of course, but Saera was their first child.

The Don and Madam’s love story was something that’s often told and repeated to all the young girls of Bangtan, so that they expect a mafia prince that’s chosen by the Don, to come and swoop them off their feet.

It was a fantasy of course, not everyone was lucky. You would be one of the unlucky ones. But it served it’s purpose well. It gave young women hope in the culture of arranged marriages, in the beautiful lie that everyone found love and in the sand-grain sized chance that you will find love in your partner even in the deepest ocean of hatred you held for them.

“Bangtan will go on of course,” She chuckles, “All of us could die and yet, Bangtan would remain strong. Everyone would be fine too.. but what about our kids?” You stayed quiet, knowing she had more to say. “Who will look after Kook-ie? Will he return to the dark place he was in when he lost his parents? How will Jimin and Tae feel about being orphaned again?” She continued, her eyes looking far away at the cityline. “Will Hoseok choose violence to remedy his sorrow? Will Yoongi grow more quiet and far apart from the others? Will Namu cry and wreck everything nice in his life? Will Jin be strong enough to hold everything together? Who will look after my darling Jangmi?” She laughs lightly, exhaling loudly. “Saera will do fine, I think.” She looks at you, eyes glassy. “Can you believe it, my most clingy child who refused to let go of my skirt for years into her teens is the one who barely needs me now..”

“Ommo-nim, you know that’s not how it is.” You try to console her.

But it didn’t seem like Madam Kim was listening. “Saera doesn’t need me when I’m alive, forget after my death.”

“Unnie loves you and Abeo-ji.” You state firmly. You knew she did, just as much she was by them. “She’s just.. angry and… hurt. Not only at you, but at everything. Life hasn’t been fair to her and she’s just trying to navigate through it quietly.”

“I know she’s hurt and angry at the world and I hope she’s angry at us too.. We failed her,” Madam Kim replies, “Not only as parents but as the Don and Madam.”

“Ommo-nim, it’s not your fault.” You are firm as you hold her hand across the table. “You couldn’t have stopped him. We know Youngho oppa was headstrong and he did what he did because he was a selfless man who loved his friend. It wasn’t your fault.”

Madam Kim was looking away now, eyes filled with guilt and shame. Everyone could tell her a million times that what happened wasn’t their fault, it was the way of life for Bangtan and Youngho was happy doing what he did, but it didn’t change the fact one careless decision on their part had ruined a young woman and her child’s life.

“The food’s here,” Madam Kim clears , discreetly pulling out a handkerchief to wipe her tears and smile brightly at you. The food and a coversation diversion had been served. “It looks delicious, Nari-yah. Tell me, which is your favourite?”

The engagement party was at a city’s Grand Hyatt hotel, one of the nation’s most expensive venues. You had arrived at the venue early morning to get ready because you had to outshine the luxurious decorations and at the same time, not look like a christmas tree.

You had arrived with your family and had settled into your suite for the day. You had spent your time till the glam team arrived, eating your stress away and watching reruns of running man and taking full advantage of the exquisite jacuzzi situation your suite had.

Once they arrived though, everything was a haze.

There were atleast three people working on your hair and make-up, two working on your nails, two fixing your engagement dress, taking care of your shoes, jewelry and a photographer in the back who was trying to make everything look as gorgeous as possible for a frame.

When your mother-in-law arrived to your suite, you were more or less done for the day. Your make-up was flawlessly done, your hair perfectly curled and set to show off your uncovered shoulders.

“What do you think, Nari-ssi?” Haera, the make-up artist asked, watching you inspect your look in the hand-held mirror.

“You did a fantastic job, Haera-ssi.” You smile at her in appreciation. “I would’ve never thought I could possibly look this pretty.”

“Make-up only accentuates what’s already there, young miss.” She says good-naturedly, “But, I’ll take the compliment.”

“Shall we get you into the dress?” Sungah asks and you nod, it was about time. You had been stuck to this chair for hours now. You stood up, dropped the robe you were wearing and put on the dress with help from them.

The dress fit you like a glove, the times of the seamstress coming to you to get the fit right finally worth it. With the proper fitting, you really couldn’t ignore how stunning you actually looked.

There was none of your softness pudging out, instead all settling into pretty curves. The thigh-slit showing off your freshly-waxed, smooth leg and the bodice cinching and skirt flaring to make you feel as gorgeous as you looked.

“Omo! Did an angel come to visit us today?” You hear the giddy voice of Madam Kim and you turn to her and blush shyly, not being able to stop yourself from giggling.

“What do you think ommo-nim?” You ask, twirling around in your spot, the overskirt train following you.

“An angel for sure!” She laughed, hugging you. “You look so beautiful, sweetheart!” You giggle out a thank you, “Where’s Sook?” She asked, looking around for your mother.

You wanted to be honest and say that you didn’t know and that you didn’t care where she went as long as she didn’t disturb you but refrained for the sake of putting up a front, “She’s probably with Appa or out socializing, ommo-nim. Both of us are in our high spirits and it gets exhausting, so she must be out somewhere relaxing.”

“Oh I understand, sweetie,” She shakes her head sympathetically, “Marriages and everything related to it is always stressful. I wish I could run away from all weddings and it’s aftermath I’m supposed to handle too.”

In Bangtan, the marriages were handled by the Don and Madam. The Don began the process by announcing and getting the couple engaged and from there it’s all Madam’s job —the wedding preparations, the bride and everything after the wedding till the couple’s death. Their well-being as a couple was the Madam’s responsibility, making sure that they are happy, making sure that the women are not abused, their kids are well looked after and all.

“But I’m not here to vent,” She gives a mischievous look, “I’m here to deliver something.” You look at her curiously. She opens up the dark blue velvet box in her hands. The box held a beautiful diamond necklace, with matching earrings and a bracelet to complete the set.

“What do you think?” She asks, ignoring the gasps and mutters of appreciation from the others in the room.

“It’s gorgeous, ommo-nim.” You say and she smiles proudly.

“I’m glad you like it,” She grins teasingly, “—and I think it’ll look even more gorgeous if you wear it.”

Your engagement party was simultaneously the most boring and eventful party for you in a long time.

The party started officially with your families joining the guests in the party hall. You walked in with your father, arms linked with his and a bright, happy smile plastered over your face. You greeted a few familiar faces, your uncles, aunts and a few cousins.

You were escorted straight to the Kims who were at the center of the party, surrounded by the Elites and Jang Yeojin, Jin’s wife. All of them looking particularly good, but your eyes still managed to stay stuck to Namjoon.

It was a black-tie event, so you were expecting his suit to make an appearance but what you didn’t expect was him to look as good as he did. The dark suit made him look so much more authoritative and intimidating. His hair is slicked back and his sharp eyes roaming over your body hotly.

There’s a part of you that revels in the lustful way his eyes are eating you up but the larger part of you that’s not used to blatant attention from a made-man is flustered, making you blush which brings a smirk to his face.

You talk to the others present, pointedly ignoring him and his teasing smile. The Elites con