Yujin doesn’t understand the universe, doesn’t understand why the world just somehow decided to give you someone who’s half of your heart, half of your being and half of your soul. How does it make sense to have someone who has the same mark as yours glow when you meet each other for the first time? She thinks as she’s sprawled on the bathroom floor, leaning against the door.

For a brief moment, she remembers how she first met her soulmate. It was her sophomore year and she was passing by the hallway then the next thing she felt was a pull, like a tug in her chest, a sort of pull that made her want to get closer and a part of her instantly knew it like an instinct. She was right because she saw the mark on her wrist glow with a faint pink color and she clearly remembers how happy he looked while talking to his friends, so happy that his smile was almost contagious even if they were mere strangers. The first thing that came into her thoughts was he has a beautiful smile, a very beautiful one that radiates and feels like sunshine. He must’ve felt the pull too because he stopped talking to his circle of friends and moved to shift his attention towards her direction and when their eyes met, god, it was a burst of mixed emotions she never felt before.

All of a sudden she can feel her own heart racing, hear it ringing against her ears and as if time stopped for a moment because there is nothing else that she can see or hear. But it didn’t feel like butterflies, like how they describe in books or stories. There was a mix of nervousness and curiosity because she didn’t know what to do but mostly, it felt like he was someone she wanted to know. He was a stranger but it felt comfortable. The corner of his lips curled up into a tender smile and her breath hitches, snapped back into reality but she felt like she was drowning, drowning in his deep, brown eyes, drowning in the overwhelming feelings.

Everything was still so vivid. She still remembers when she saw the mark on his wrist glowing too, faint pink like hers but the thing is, his fingers were intertwined with someone else, holding it gently like it was his world.

Another wave of nausea hits her making her double over and retch, wincing at the feeling of her chest tightening. Good thing she was quick enough to grab the trash bin, delicate white petals immediately escaping her lips as she hunches. She groans when she feels more rising through . Her eyes water as she coughs up more and it keeps coming, filling nearly half of the bin. It’s starting to scare her now because it’s lasting longer than usual and she’s worried that she’ll end up choking on these petals, probably end up dying alone.

Her eyes are blurry with tears, hands turning clammy both from throwing up and from panic and she absentmindedly dials someone from her phone, praying to all the gods that whoever she called would pick up. The four walls of the bathroom get filled with the ringing sound and she spits out a few more petals again. A wave of relief fills her when it stops and the other line crackles.

“Oh, you called. What’s up?”

She leans against the cold wall, sweat dripping down her brow, panting heavily as she feels another twist in her chest.

“Yoongi...” She tries, breathless, struggling to breathe in because it feels as if there’s no air. She feels her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen and another wave of petals push past her lips “H-help… c-can’t— can’t breathe.”

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She ends up in a hospital that day, with an extremely sore throat and a glaring Min Yoongi.

“It’s been going on for months and you didn’t bother telling anyone? Didn’t even bother telling me at least?”

“Give me a break. I just woke up.” Her voice is hoarse as she speaks, throat still scratchy.

“This is dangerous, Yujin! They’re roses, ing roses, and the doctor said that it could potentially grow some thorns and puncture your organs.”

She rolls her eyes, sighing. “It’s not like it’s gonna change if I tell anyone.”

“And then what happens next? We’ll find you dead god knows where because you choked on those damn petals.”

“Quit it, Yoongi. You already know about it, stop making it a big deal.”

“I’m making it a big deal?! This is… you’re...” He looks at her incredulously, unable to form coherent words because of his frustration that makes him want to yank all his hair out and Yujin looks away, feeling the guilt creep in. She knows for sure that her friend is only worried but she just hates being reminded of it. “Sorry.”

“Who is it? Who’s neck do I have to snap?”

“As if you’d do that to Taehyung.” She scoffs at him and she sees him drop glare.

“Oh… i thought you two we’re—”

“Platonic soulmates? Yeah, I thought so too but here I am throwing up so much rose petals that it could be used for a ing wedding.” The moment she says that, Yoongi's eyes transform into something not quite sad, but close to pity and she hates it because this is the very reason why she didn't tell anyone.

She doesn't want to hear the 'oh poor girl, the person she loves doesn't love her back’ or the classic 'it will be okay soon' because it's not okay. How will it be okay? Again, she hates the universe for this because why the hell does it seem like a punishment if the person you love doesn't love you back.

“Continue looking at me like that and I’ll gouge your eyes out.”

Yoongi opens his mouth and closes it again, still unable to find the right words because what the hell is he supposed to say? It almost seems like nothing else could comfort her in this kind of situation. "I told him…" He blurts out instead. "If only I knew, I wouldn't… but I was panicking and your parents were not answering my calls a while ago so…"

"It's fine… just…. just don't tell Taehyung it's him."

"You've gotta be kidding me, Lee Yujin."

"Do you see me laughing?"

"But—"

"Don't. Please"

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 [start of flashback]🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Soulmates were bound to meet each other, that’s what the elders used to say. Fate somehow has its own ways of making their paths cross even if they’re miles apart, even if they refuse to believe that their other half exists in this crazy world. Despite how impossible it seems, there was always a way because that’s how things are supposed to be. One way or another, you will meet the person the universe chose for you.

The second time they met each other was when Yujin saw Taehyung taking photos of a painting in an art gallery. It was a quiet day and it was only the two of them in the room and she briefly wonders why he’s alone today.

She shook her head, what a trouble maker, she thought because first and foremost, taking photos was not allowed in this exhibit and he’s clearly taking advantage of the fact that there were no curators in this room. But alright, people do that all the time, being sneaky with the rules. She noticed him trying to get a better angle but as he moved a step back, he accidentally tripped on his shoelaces causing him to lose his balance and was also about to elbow an artifact on his right.

Yujin quickly rushes by his side to stop him from possibly breaking an ancient vase that probably costs hundreds of thousands or maybe even millions and it’s a relief that he regained his balance when she reached his side. Both of them looked at each other with wide eyes, Taehyung clutching his chest, panting, as he moved his gaze between the vase and Yujin. As if on cue, the two of them looked over the doors where the curators were standing and he let out a breath of relief because none of them seemed to notice and the CCTV cameras were on a different angle. He opens his mouth to say something to the lady standing in front of him but she cuts him off.

“I won’t tell a single soul.” She said abruptly.

“You won’t tell a single soul.” His voice is deep and still laced with a hint of panic as he repeated her words to confirm and she nodded immediately to reassure him. It was like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders so he thanked her with a sheepish smile.

She only replied with “Make sure you leave this place without breaking anything.” and a smile before exiting the room.

Taehyung didn’t even have the chance to get her name.

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Yujin dreaded 7 AM classes. It didn't matter what subject it was. It’s just that she’s a night person and for some weird reason, her brain only starts working after 10 AM. She stared blankly at the whiteboard, seated on one of the stools inside the laboratory as her professor goes into details about the proper way of collecting blood from patients. Her chin was propped up against her palms, trying to fight off her heavy eyelids from closing. Everything was just fuzzy, the lecture sounded like a foreign language to her basically because the only thing going on her mind at that moment was sleep, get some more sleep.

The professor set the marker down and looked at her class “That’s all you have to know. Now’s the time to show me what you’ve learned from my discussion. I’ll be doing a demo first then I’ll be grading you based on how you extract blood from your partner.” Yujin’s eyes shot open at the announcement. . She didn’t listen to a single word. Her eyes followed the professor who walked out of the room saying something like she’s just going to get her things from the faculty room so Yujin made use of that short span of time to cram everything that’s written on the board in her mind.

She made her way to her friend, shaking her hands to get rid of the nerves. “Is she seriously giving us a surprise practical test? Right now?”

“Apparently she is.” Yoongi replied, too tense.

“That’s just unfair to grade us on our first try.” She said as she grabbed one of the sealed syringes, angling it on Yoongi’s arm, trying to visualize how in the damn world was she going to do it properly.

The sound of the opening door made her jolt and the students in her class stopped shuffling around. “I can’t monitor all of you so I invited students from the other class since they started learning blood extraction last week. Now, gather around, I’ll demonstrate. Who wants to volunteer, I’ll be giving extra credit?” Several students eagerly raised their hands while the others had their skin going pale at the thought of a needle puncturing their skin.

Yujin positioned herself beside the professor to get a good view of it, watching intently as the important points to remember were emphasized but it happened so fast. The blood flowed with ease and there wasn’t any sign of pain in the expression of her classmate who had her arm laid on the table.

“Find your partner. I’m giving you 30 minutes to practice. Save your other arm for the practicals. Draw 3cc of blood for 10 points and if you don’t get any, then you have no score. Any questions?” Did her professor wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? At this point, Yujin was more afraid of hurting her partner than failing this test and she inwardly groaned when another concern popped out of her mind.

“Ma’am, I’m uh… left-handed.”

She looks at Yujin, considering her concern “Well, it’s pretty much the same, just use your left hand and oh, wait.” She said and proceeded to scan the room, “Kim, good thing you’re here, can you assist Miss Lee here. She’s left-handed too.”

She turned her head to look at the person her teacher was referring to and that feeling of familiarity was back once again. It’s that piercing dark brown orbs and the soft smile. She only heard a brief ‘let’s sit over there’ and she followed him as she led her to the back part of the laboratory where it's less crowded and quieter. That’s when they met for the third time.

He sat in front of her as she gathered the materials she needed and set them on the table.

“It’s you right? The girl in the hallway and in the museum?” He broke the silence, trying to start a conversation but Yujin only nodded in response, avoiding eye contact on purpose. Pretending to keep herself busy because hell, his eyes were making her feel things and she’s not good with conversations, especially with strangers.

“That’s great. I didn’t expect to meet you here.”

“Likewise.”

"Kim Taehyung, Class B." He casually introduced himself just as she was about to tie the tourniquet and she couldn't help but look up to meet his gaze.

"Lee Yujin, Class A." She replied and the awkward air dissipates when both of them break out into a smile. It's an instant connection, something she can't explain, and no matter how cliche it sounds, it feels as if things were falling into place.

She continued to prep his forearm, tying the rubber tourniquet firmly with trembling hands to make the veins more prominent, and thank heavens his veins are so visible. It won’t be that much of a struggle, she thinks as she untied it and disinfected the area with an alcohol pad. She unwrapped the syringe from its seal and used her left hand to uncap it but Taehyung quickly reached out.

“Wait, wait,” he grabbed her hand to stop her and took the syringe, “You’ll end up stabbing yourself if you uncap it like that, do this instead.” he said as he proceeds to use his thumb to push the cap up and she sees it pop up with ease. “It’s safer this way and you can use the cap of your pen to practice getting used to it.”

Yujin muttered a quick thanks and she got more self conscious when she felt his soft gaze on her, observing her every move and this only made her hand tremble more.

"My hands are uh, shaking, sorry if I...”

“Don’t worry it’s normal for first timers.”

She positioned the needle against his vein, trying to recall how it was done awhile ago but it feels like everything was inverted, to be left handed.

"Use your right hand to anchor the vein, then use your left to insert the needle." Taehyung instructed when he saw the obvious confusion in her expression, watching intently as she placed the needle against his skin. "Do it quickly so you won't hurt the patient but make sure it doesn't go too deep or else you won't get any blood." He guided her through it and Yujin noticed how he talks softly, far from his intimidating features.

The blood flowed through the hub. That's a pretty good sign and with shaky hands she gently pulled the plunger, watching the syringe fill with the thick red liquid. It might sound creepy but it was satisfying to see.

Her hands were already visibly trembling when she untied the tourniquet and removed the syringe. The combination of both nervousness and adrenaline made her let out a shaky breath.

"Not bad for a first timer. I didn't feel a thing."

"Flattery gets us nowhere, Taehyung."

She heard him chuckling as he gave her an amused look. "I'm serious, though. You did great."

On the fourth time, Yujin was scanning the cafeteria looking for the table where her friends are seated but instead she sees a familiar mop of black wavy hair on the table adjacent to a stall. Their eyes locked and Taehyung instantly waved at her, lips curled up into a soft smile. She returned the gesture before continuing to find her friends.

She found Yoongi with his eyebrows furrowed, squinting his eyes on her as she arrived at the table. "I didn't peg you as the person who'd flirt with someone who's already taken."

Her jaw nearly dropped at the accusation, puzzled and bewildered, not knowing where all of this was even coming from. "Me? Flirting? Who?"

Her friend gestured towards Taehyung's direction then eyed her suspiciously. "What's with the two of you?"

Yujin rolled her eyes at him and plopped down on one of the chairs. "I think studying has fried your brain to the point that you think greeting someone is flirting." She deadpanned but Yoongi didn't buy it. She knew, because he still doesn't drop that suspicious look so she sighed, showed him her wrist and his eyes suddenly flickered with interest. His fingers hovered around the mark and it just occurred to him that it's kind of familiar because he's seen it in Taehyung's wrist too.

"That means you and my other friend are soulmates…" He mumbled. "But how is that going to work? Taehyung has a girlfriend?"

"So?"

"So?!" He repeated her words confusedly. "So, you're just going to snatch him away?"

"What?! No, I'm not. Do you actually think I like him or something?"

"Isn't that what soulmates are supposed to be?"

"I didn't peg you as the hopeless romantic type." Yujin returned the remark sarcastically. "I barely know him and seriously, do you think that every person who ends up together in this world are soulmates?"

"You have a point."

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As if fate is not contented enough, it really went its way to make the two of them classmates for the next semester and that's when Yujin got to know that Taehyung does tiny dances when he's too happy. He bites the tip of his pen when he's nervous and rambles a lot like a child when he gets too excited. He has a deep, raspy voice but he's very soft spoken and when he smiles, his lips form into a boxy shape. He loves art, he enjoys musical and theatrical plays, silent walks and things that involve silence and peace but he's the typical social butterfly that everyone loves.

It all started when Taehyung came up to her one hectic morning. They were pulled out of class to help with the university event and as tempting as it sounds to be exempted from class for the entire day, it was actually tiring to help out with the stage design. He had a sandwich and coffee at hand, casually giving it to her which earned him a confused look. "I know you don't eat breakfast, you told me once." He starts. "At least have something to fill your stomach before we decorate the stage." She thanks him shortly before accepting the food and honestly, she didn't expect him to remember.

"That's not poisoned." He points out sarcastically when he notices her staring at the drink like she’s contemplating on her life choices.

"O-oh, it's just that I don't drink coffee, sorry."

"Oh, my bad. I should've asked you before buying." He stands up. "I'll be right back." Yujin followed his direction and saw him at the vendo machine. Ever since that day they became the best of friends and ever since that day Taehyung made sure to bring her hot chocolate every morning, especially on days when they’re too busy to even care about eating.

Yujin also found out that he's a night owl like her and his thoughts can get so random, too random that it makes her roll her eyes at the absurdity of his ideas but it somehow makes her smile. Just like that one night when he texts her.

Taetae

You know sometimes I feel like you don't sleep at all.

Yujin

What?

Taetae

Can I call?

 

As soon as she agrees, his contact I.D. pops up on her screen.

"See, you never sleep. I message you at any time of the day, even at the crack of dawn and you still reply." is what he instantly told her, voice soft and hushed since it’s already late and this only made his voice sound deeper.

"You called me at 2 freaking am to call me out on my sleeping habits?"

"No, it just popped out of my head that maybe you don't sleep at all so I tried testing out my theory and here you are, replying so fast."

"That doesn't mean that I don't sleep, . It's just that you catch me awake at the right time and I don't like leaving people hanging or on read."

"Is that a soulmate thing?" She can almost see the way he tilts his head as he asks the question, eyebrows probably knitted with his lips slightly parted.

"I dunno. Maybe?"

There was a few seconds of dead air, hearing faint shuffling sounds from the other line. "Do you think cereals should be considered soup?" He asks out of the blue.

"You can't be asking me that question at this hour."

She hears Taehyung giggling. "I'm asking a real question here."

"Soups are warm and are supposed to be cooked, Tae."

"Hey, naengmyeon has cold broth and that's soup too. Besides, cereal is eaten like soup."

"Still doesn't make it soup. You mentioned broth and milk isn't broth and my point still stands that soups are cooked."

"It has a solid and a liquid ingredient though and the dictionary says that anything that has the same consistency with soup is soup.”

Of course, Taehyung would open the dictionary or any kind of reference he has just to prove his point.

“You know you mentioned soup a lot of times and now it sounds weird.” She responds and she hears him let out a light-hearted laugh, sounding satisfied and relaxed. She can picture him on his bed, lying on his stomach with a wide grin on his face and this makes her smile too. Honestly, she wouldn’t mind listening to him talk all day long because his voice is so gentle, so smooth and one wouldn't think that he gets too loud sometimes. She wouldn't mind because his presence is so comforting. It feels like home.

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"What's wrong?" Taehyung asks as the two of them walk to their locker.

"What makes you think that there's something wrong?"

"You're quiet."

"I'm naturally quiet, Tae." She says, dismissing his idea but he moves to stand in front of her and tilts her chin up with his finger.

"You look like a walking corpse, a miserable one."

"Wow, thanks for pointing it out." Yujin says with a detached and sarcastic tone.

Taehyung still felt bothered so he placed both of his hands on her cheeks to cup her face, giving it a light squish just to get her full attention. "You're not gonna be sad under my watch. If you don't want to talk about it, I’m going to distract you from it."

She pulls away with a sigh and turns to her locker to leave her things but the moment she twists the key inside the lock, she hears a snap only to see it broken into two and it makes her inwardly sob in frustration.

Yujin leans her forehead against the cold metal and bangs her fist into it as if it will magically fix her broken key. God, she really wished that it could be fixed because she doesn't want to carry all this home.

Taehyung lets her have her moment of despair though. They had a long day today, tons of quizzes, exams, due dates so he stands beside her, silently watching her have an internal breakdown. She leans against the locker, looking up at the ceiling, taking in deep breaths as she bites on the inside of her cheeks.

When his best friend finally looks up at him, he doesn't miss that hint of bitterness in her eyes before she speaks.

"Last night, my mom kicked my dad out because she caught him cheating and I barely slept because she was crying the entire night..." Her voice was shaky and the air was filled with tension when she paused. "She was still crying when I left for school."

No words were needed to be said because it seemed to be an automatic reflex for Taehyung to have his arms wrapped around her tightly in a warm, comforting hug after he heard what she said. He stays silent as his best friend leans against his embrace, holding her tight.

Hugs make everything feel better is what Taehyung always said.

"You can put your stuff in my locker in the meantime." He offers and she only nods in response. Yujin doesn't have the intention to let go because he makes her feel safe. She feels vulnerable but at the same time secured.

"We have one last class and then we're done for today. You can get some rest." He says gently while brushing his fingers through her hair and this time she pulls away from his arms.

It's quite distracting to have her thoughts scattered as she sits through one last class and the constant vibration of her phone isn't helping her either. Her professor is strict with gadgets but what if it's an emergency, she thinks. She fishes out her phone in secret, hiding it under the desk, and scrolls through the notifications only to be disappointed when she sees messages from her father.

Repetitive apologies, asking favors to talk to her mom, explanations that she isn't even interested in.

"Miss Lee Yujin," She flinches, frantically shoving her phone into her bag, when she hears her name called sternly. Now, all eyes are on her. "Since you seem to be busy with something else, I think you should answer the question I have in mind. Stand up."

Yujin winces, trying to calmly collect herself as she pushes her seat back and stands up with jittery legs.

“If you notice the patient having an adverse reaction to blood transfusion, what would you do? Should you call the doctor in charge and report the situation? Double check the blood being transfused? Or call the blood bank?”

The room was silent, everyone was waiting for her answer and Yujin’s mind turned blank from the pressure. “Tell me, Miss Lee, what should you do?” Her teacher asks impatiently this time.

“C-call the doctor in charge and report—”

“And while you’re busy reporting, you could’ve killed the patient. Sit down.” The professor says condescendingly. “You have to remember that thinking quickly as well as having common sense can save lives. It is a skill you have to develop and you won't be able to develop it if you're too busy looking at your phones. So, if you see a patient having an adverse reaction, the first thing that you should do is immediately stop the transfusion before you go ahead and report what happened. Sometimes the answers are not always in the choices given to you.”

Just when she thought the professor was done ranting, he shifts his attention back to her. “And Lee, I expected more from you.” Yujin blurts out a quick apology, feeling her skin crawl as she hears murmurs from her peers around her.

“That was unnecessary, what the hell?” Taehyung scoffs in disbelief beside her. "If we're only allowed to hurt our teachers, I'd punch him in the face." He mutters quietly.

"Shh. Just let it go." She hushes him and she sees him roll his eyes.

“Are you okay though?” Yujin only nods in response then gives him a tight smile.

Five more minutes before class ends and the world seems to hate her because it turned into five more agonizing minutes that seemed to pass slower than it should.

"You're not going home?" Taehyung asks her when he noticed her remaining seated while their classmates were already scrambling to head towards the door.

"I'd rather be somewhere else than home." She replies without even looking at him and continues to scroll past the messages, staring at her phone blankly when the caller with her dad's name appears. She stares at it until it stops vibrating.

"I can stay with you."

"I'm fine. You can go home. We barely have free time so go out on a date or go home and sleep."

"She's busy today and you need a friend."

Her phone lights up once again and the bulk of similar messages made her groan exasperatedly. It somehow convinced her to hang out with Taehyung for now.

The pedestrian light turns green and as they walk, the wind turns chilly and Yujin feels a drop of water against her cheek one after another. She curses under her breath when she realizes it's from the sky because ing hell, her umbrella was inside her locker. They start to quicken their pace but the rain gets heavier almost immediately so Taehyung wraps his hand around hers, tugging her to run towards the nearest convenience store.

The cool air from the air conditioner instantly hits her, making her shiver, barely noticing Taehyung nudging her to look for a spot to stay and wait for the rain to stop.

The pair finds a vacant seat in the corner of the store and as they wipe off the drenched parts of their uniform, everything hits Yujin all at once. Her father probably isn't coming back. He's trying to make up for his mistakes but she isn't interested at all. Her mother's been crying. She barely got any sleep. Her schedule was packed. The locker key broke. She got called out in class. She's drenched from the rain. She's tired. She's damn tired and god, she feels miserable.

Yujin shoves her face against her palms and as if on cue, tears start to stream down her cheeks. She chews on her lower lip, body quivering as she tries to contain her sobs and she feels an arm around her waist. Taehyung pulls her closer and allows her to lean against him while she cries all her frustrations out.

"I w-wish my mom d-didn't… didn't have t-to find out.." She says in between sobs. "I-if she didn't find out, e-every… everything would be fine." Yujin pauses to wipe her tears away only to have more roll down her face and she probably looks like a mess right now but who cares?

"I hate this. I-it hurts… everything hurts, Tae." She cries and he lifts her chin up to look her in the eye.

"Yujin, the truth hurts sometimes. It stings but it's better than being blinded by lies." He says softly, wiping her tears with his thumb before pulling her back into an embrace. She clutches his uniform, leaving creases as she hiccups. It pains him too when he sees her like this. Taehyung hates the mere thought of her being sad and he feels like he's willing to give everything just to see her smile again.

When her sobs die down, he asks her to wait so he can grab something to eat. It takes him a little longer to come back and when he returns, he places an entire plastic bag of snacks on the table. There’s a bunch of them, chips, sweets, crackers as well as water and other drinks. She finds a note inside with a ‘We’ll be stress eating today. I hope I can see your smile soon.’ written on it and it made her feel a bit better, a little less alone, a little less distressed, and a little more loved.

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Yujin happens to run out of sugar while baking so she goes down to the fourth floor and heads to Yoongi’s unit because he always has his cooking stuff on stock. She presses on the doorbell and the door opens almost instantly, not expecting to see her soulmate greet her.

"Why are you here?" Yujin blurts out with an equally confused expression as his.

"Why are you here?" He questions back, eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I live on the 7th floor and I ran out of sugar.”

“You live in the same building as Yoongi?”

“Yes. Can we do the explaining inside so I can ask our friend if he still has sugar?”

“He’s in the kitchen.” Taehyung says and steps aside as he realizes that he was blocking the entrance, still bewildered at how everything seems to pull the two of them closer. “It’s weird how I never saw you before and now you’re suddenly everywhere.”

“Right? I’m starting to get tired of you.” She retorts playfully while heading towards where Yoongi is. “ it up, sweetie. Universe says we’re together forever.”

Yoongi tells her that the sugar is in the cupboard, but doesn't tell her which cabinet it’s in as he’s busy with his cooking so Yujin opens them one by one. She still doesn’t find any and she proceeds to open the one right above Yoongi, standing on the tip of her toes.

“Are you sure you still have-” Her words got cut off when an arm encircled around her waist. “Do you always stand this close to people when you ask for sugar?”

"W-What the hell?" She turns around and realizes that they're too close and Taehyung doesn’t miss that stutter, taking the opportunity to for it. "What? Did I make your heart flutter?"

Yujin’s expression contorted into a grimace and shook her head. "Gross."

"Yes, it's gross. Now, will the two of you get out of my kitchen? And what the hell, Taehyung? Just break up with your girlfriend if you want to do gross stuff with Yujin."

"Hey! I love my girl, why would I do that?"

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Yujin met his girlfriend one day because Taehyung was too excited to introduce her and if she remembers it correctly, her name was Jia. She’s nice, so nice that it’s almost impossible to hate her, not that Yujin wanted to hate her. There was just this instance that she wasn’t so sure when it started. She doesn’t know when it started to feel different. She doesn’t know when her heart starts beating fast when Taehyung is around; when she holds her breath every time he gets too close. She doesn't know when being friends suddenly felt like it wasn't enough. She doesn't know when she started wanting more. She doesn’t know when it started to hurt when she sees them together.

She wonders when she started wishing to be the person that makes him happy, to be the person that makes him feel complete, to be the person that he wants to be with at the end of the day.

It keeps her up at night, making her chest tighten as her thoughts spiral into false hope. What would it feel like to have Taehyung in love with her?

Because if love was a person, it would be Kim Taehyung.

At times, she closes her eyes, counts to ten, and wills for all of it to go away. It does go away.

But it comes back.

It always comes back because when Yujin came to class with a burning fever, Taehyung just couldn't take his eyes off of her. He kept on tapping his foot on the floor, occasionally stealing glances as he answered the test and as soon as it was over, he immediately made his way towards her, dragging an empty seat beside her.

"You shouldn't have come to class today."

"I can't miss--" She paused to turn away from him when she felt the tickle on that made her cough. She felt his hands rubbing her back through it. "I can't miss this test."

"Your health is more important than this. I can bring you to the clinic." He says as he tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear to get a good look at her face.

She pulled away from his touch and shook her head. "They'll send me home."

"Well, in fact, you need to go home."

"W-we have one last class. I’ll go home right away after that. I don’t wanna miss anything.”

Taehyung slumped against his chair, arms crossed in frustration, knowing that there’s nothing that can convince his best friend. She’s stubborn and quite competitive and at this point, the only way to make her go home is if she passes out. There’s this unsettling feeling at the pit of his stomach that makes him want to keep an eye on her to make sure she’s fine so he sits beside her in their next class.

He ended up taking her home that day after strings of convincing and insisting, refusing to even leave her alone in her apartment.

“I’m a grown woman, Tae. I can take care of myself.”

“Really? I didn’t know that overworking yourself ‘till you're sick is your way of self care.”

“I’m fine, seriously.”

“The fact that you’re fine means I can’t leave you alone because I know for sure that you’re gonna start doing schoolwork again.” He says while pouring a glass of water.

“Lie down on the couch for god’s sake, Yujin. Which part of ‘get some rest’ don’t you understand?” Taehyung snaps, voice raising a bit when he sees her on the way to the kitchen counter.

“What are you? My dad?” She replies with a snarky remark as she takes the glass but as she turns her back to him, her vision suddenly spins. She takes a step back to lean against the counter to ground herself, putting the glass back down with trembling hands, and closes her eyes for a brief moment. He holds her arm to support her, watching her closely in case she faints.

She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly and everything was back to normal. Taehyung guides her back to the couch, running his hands through his hair as his frustration morphs into concern.

“I’m not your dad but I’m your best friend. I’m allowed to be worried.” His voice is back to his natural, mellow tone. The gentle voice that she finds so endearing except at this moment, his words sting.

Best friend, huh? Yeah, right. The truth stings.

“Where’s your room? I’ll get you your blanket.” He is just as stubborn as she is so she gives in, telling him the direction to her room.

He comes back, draping it over her, and seats right next to her. Taehyung puts his arm around Yujin, moving closer and shifts so she’s leaning on his chest. Her breath hitches, feeling heat rise up to her cheeks. Her heart pulsates through her chest and she thinks Taehyung could feel it with how close they are. She isn’t sure if it’s because of her fever but either way, he’s too close right now. Too close that she hopes he wouldn’t figure out how she feels.

“You’ll get yourself sick,” Yujin says as a poor excuse to make him move away because she feels too comfortable that it scares her. She doesn’t want to get used to this but then he only shrugs.

“Free pass to do nothing.”

The two of them sit there in silence. It was peaceful, like a break from their hectic schedules, and Taehyung would’ve liked it better if she wasn’t sick because he kind of misses hanging out without having to worry about the things they have to study or submit. He turns his head to check on her and he finds her sleeping, not even caring about the way his arm feels a bit numb from her weight against his. He carefully places the back of his hand on her forehead to feel her temperature and he’s relieved that it seemed to go down. She doesn’t feel as feverish as it was a while ago.

He slowly fishes out his phone, afraid that he might wake her. He smiles to himself as he sneakily takes pictures of his best friend, even taking a video that he could use soon for blackmailing purposes. Taehyung knows that she’ll surely chase him down until he deletes them but that’s not part of his worries for now.

A message notification pops up while he was scrolling through his gallery and it was from Jia, asking if he has time to grab some dinner with her. He agrees of course and as much as he doesn’t want to leave Yujin, he has to.

Just as he was about to wake her, the door opens and a middle aged woman enters which causes her to stir from her sleep. Yujin rubs her eyes groggily, noticing that the sun has already set.

“Sorry, sorry. I guess I interrupted something.” The woman says sheepishly and Taehyung stands up when he recognizes her as Yujin’s mother, from what he saw on the family pictures in the house.

“It’s fine. I just stayed with her because she’s sick. I was about to leave anyway.”

“That’s so kind of you. Are you by any chance my daughter’s boyfriend?”

“No, no. It’s not like that.” Taehyung replies while waving his hands in front of him, clearly flustered by the question. “I’m not.”

“Not yet?” She questions with an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“She has a girlfriend, mom. We’re just friends.” Yujin interrupts the two but her mother only looks at her as if she’s going to pry out any information.

“Soulmates, actually,” Taehyung says with a grin, lips forming into a boxy shape and this seems to delight her mother even more. She asks him more questions and they soon start having a light conversation. Yujin thinks her mom is fond of him.

She hears him chuckle at one of her mother’s remarks and honestly, she isn’t

“Thanks again, Taehyung. You can drop by anytime you want. I can cook for you on weekends too if you’d like.”

Taehyung nods with a content smile and thanks her too before turning to Yujin. “I have a date,” he says while waving the phone in his hands. “Don’t come to school tomorrow if you don’t feel well.”

“Have fun.”

With that, Taehyung exits their apartment, leaving Yujin with her mom. “He’s such a sweet boy, isn’t he?” She comments fondly and Yujin nods in agreement. “He is.”

for her, Taehyung belongs to someone else.

She closes her eyes once again, counts to ten, and wills for all of it to go away.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Taehyung pretty much shows up at Yujin's place more often than before. He stays over when he’s free, when he has this movie in mind that he wants to ramble about, when he wants to rant about his ty day. And because he already kind of made Yujin’s mother adore him like she’s her own son, he earned that right to come to their place unannounced.

Right now, Yujin is leaning against the headboard while Taehyung hums a sweet melody as he lazily rests his head on her lap and she picks it up easily. “What song is that?”

“Oh it’s, uh, a song I wrote...” He replies, voice trailing off when he starts to feel a hint of self consciousness but then he sees her eyes light up in interest.

“Can I listen to it? I mean, if it’s’ alright with you, of course.”

Taehyung scrolls through his phone and taps on the screen once he finds the file. “Here.”

Music fills the quiet room, starting with soft strums of guitar strings, a calming tune, and soon comes his singing voice. It’s deep but at the same time it’s warm and he raises the pitch too into a kind of falsetto note and Yujin thinks it’s magical. It’s magical how his singing can make her feel certain emotions.

Taehyung looks at her expectantly, studying her features to gauge her reaction but she seems to be so engrossed in listening to it. She stared at him in awe when the song ended, at a loss for words because of how good it was. “That’s so beautiful.” is the only coherent thing she came up with and he only smiles sheepishly, lips forming into a boxy shape.

“You like it?”

“You should write more songs, Tae. You have talent in it and your voice... your voice is angelic.”

“Really? I only get to write when I’m in the mood though. It’s like, you know, just a random spur of an idea, not something I can do freely.” Taehyung scoots up beside her, now lying on his stomach. “But, that one, I wrote that while thinking of you. ”

“Me?”

“Yeah, well, I was down that day and I kind of want to go here just to drop by and talk but you said that you wanted to rest. I didn’t want to bother you too because we really had a packed schedule for the past weeks so I just decided to stay in. When I picked up my guitar, it just came out. We click so well, you know. It’s like you get everything I say, you listen to everything and yeah, sometimes hanging out with you really does make me forget that I’m having a bad day. That’s just how Winterbear was made.” He speaks without pausing, feeling giddy that someone takes interest in something he crafted on his own and Yujin just sits there, gaping at him with pure astonishment.

She falls for him even more, falling even harder this time around.

“That’s… Wow, I don’t know what to say.” Yujin utters, completely captivated by the way he talks more about music as his form of escape in their restless world of med school, about how he wanted to try performing but he just doesn’t feel confident about it. She just lies in bed, listening to every thought that comes out of his mind. It’s endearing, so endearing that she can’t stop her lips from curling up into a smile.

Taehyung leaves after dinner and as soon as she closes the door she feels a sharp pain in her chest then it gradually becomes heavy. She sits down, taking in deep breaths, hoping that it will go away but she’s only met with a dull ache, wincing in pain every time she inhales. A lump forms in as panic and nausea washes over her and downing a glass of water only made it worse. She feels something rising, stomach twisting that makes her want to throw up.

Yujin scurries to the bathroom, rubbing her chest in an attempt to soothe the pain but it’s no use. She hunches over the sink, breathing shallowly when she feels like something is lodged in and it burns. It burns when she tries to forcefully cough it out, muscles tensing as another wave of sharp pain courses through her chest.

Tears are prickling at the corner of her eyes as she retches until three white petals spill from her lips. All of a sudden she’s breathing fine, the pain in her chest is gone but she stares at her sink with wide eyes, horrified and dejected all at the same time.

She picks up one of the petals, staring at it in disbelief and slowly, she realizes that she’s damned. She is very much aware that Taehyung doesn’t feel the same way as hers but for the first time ever, she cries. She cries her heart out, covering with her palm to muffle her sobs, because this one hurts even more. It’s like a punch in the gut, like someone just splashed ice cold water on her.

It’s like a nagging reminder of her unrequited love.

And as stupid as it sounds, Yujin loves Taehyung, regardless.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

The streets look gloomy today. The sunlight gets covered by dark clouds, air heavy and tight. A flash of lightning illuminates the gray sky followed by a clap of booming thunder that makes Yujin flinch on her seat.

Classes are canceled because of the storm warnings but she’s on her study table, finishing up her tasks that are due the next day so she can sleep peacefully. She shudders at another loud roar from the sky, large droplets of rain start to patter loudly against the roof that disrupts her focus. Yujin does love the rain as it gives off a cold breeze and a calming sound but what she hates is the loud clap of thunder. It startles her so much that endless thoughts fill her head like their building would be struck by lightning or the streets will flood so much that it would rise up. Thunderstorms make her feel unsafe and anxious but it’s not like anything she can control. She plugs in her earphones, increasing the volume to block the sound, and breathes deeply, swallowing the fear that’s rising up in the pits of her stomach.

The tip of the pencil moves swiftly across the paper and she ends up sketching a rose out of boredom. The sky is darker this time as the downpour becomes heavier, accompanied by the gushing of the wind that makes the leaves of the trees sway. Her movements stop when her phone lights up and vibrates, picking it up with her free hand to check the message.

Taetae

I'm outside… open the door

She sets everything down, rushes towards the entrance, immediately opening the front door. She's greeted by a smiling Taehyung, wearing a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans with a backpack slung on one shoulder. He's holding a wet, folded umbrella in his left hand and a phone on his right.

"It's raining so hard, what in the world are you doing here?" Yujin asks as he makes his way towards the couch.

"I can see that. I'm not blind." He responds which makes her roll her eyes. She's about to say something witty but a bright, white light flashes across the sky and she knows very well that a loud thunder will follow it so she closes her eyes tightly, covering her ears with her head ducked down out of instinct. It started as a crackle and turned into an explosive noise that made her wince despite her ears being covered.

She opens her eyes when the sound dissipates and she sees a pair of brown orbs staring at her. A hand wraps around her wrist and she's pulled down to the couch.

"And that is why I'm here." He points out while looking at her terrified expression and rubbing her arms in a comforting manner. "I'm surprised I didn't get a 'Taetae the thunder's so loud i'm scared' text yet." He adds with a mocking tone.

"I’m going to kick you out and leave you soaking in the rain," Yujin says with a glare.

He puts his chin on her shoulder, face only a few centimeters away and she feels the familiar twinge in her chest. The first instinct is to pull away but she can't. His soft gaze draws her in and her heart melts when he flashes a cheeky grin.

"I know you won't."

“You’re impossible.” Yujin brushes him off, rushing to the sink when she feels the familiar tickle on along with the tightness on her chest. She isn’t surprised when petals fall from her lips as she coughs, quickly throwing it somewhere he won’t notice.

It increases as the days pass by but no one needs to know, thinking that it will go away soon.

“I’m sleeping over.” Taehyung casually says when she returns to sit beside him.

“Why?”

“I’m suddenly unwelcomed?”

She leans on Taehyung comfortably while opening the bag of chips. "Something’s off so just tell me what really brought you here."

There was silence between them and Yujin just sits still because she’s sure that there is certainly something wrong. Taehyung is a ball of energy and yes, he can be quiet sometimes but right now it’s different because he fidgets a lot. He avoids her eyes, fixing his gaze on the ground, forming his lips into a straight line.

"We broke up."

"Oh… ”

"I really like her, actually, I love her..." He starts and Yujin gives him his full attention, waiting for him to tell her the full story. “I’m at my happiest when I’m with her and I want to believe that it was the same for her too but then two weeks ago, she told me that she wanted to end things between us. Because she met her soulmate and fell in love with him instantly.” He says, low and quiet, but as he goes on, his voice starts to quiver.

“W-we p-promised each other you know? We promised t-that…we won’t let the universe dictate our destiny… We said that we’d stay together e-even if we met our soulmates. B-but s-she… I don’t understand. Am I not worth staying for? Am I not enough?”

Yujin doesn’t realize that she’s been clenching her jaw. She’s seething with anger because Taehyung doesn’t deserve to question himself like this. He doesn’t deserve any of this. All he deserves is love, all the love in the world. But this  has the audacity to make him feel this way.

“No, Tae. Listen to me, you are more than enough. You are precious.”

“Then why?!” He breaks and the more she watches him tear apart, the more she wants to shred that girl into pieces. “It doesn’t make sense. How can she… how can she throw away three years for someone she just met?! Make me understand it because it’s driving me crazy.” Taehyung aggressively runs his fingers through his hair and looks up at the ceiling to stop his tears from spilling but it was a futile attempt.

“Maybe she never loved you at all. Maybe she isn’t worth it.”

“I’m not going to be like her, Yujin. I want to fight for her, fight for us.”

“Tae-”

“No!” She flinches when he raises his voice. “Why are you like this?! You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to take my side.”

“I’m on your side. That’s why I’m telling you this!” Yujin raises her voice as well, standing up to prove her point. She knows that her best friend is too emotional to process anything but she still hopes that it sinks into him.

“What you’re telling me is to throw away everything! Throw it away like it’s nothing and give up.”

“Is there even something left to fight for? Seriously, Taehyung?! You come here because you wanted somebody to talk to but you’re lashing out at me? You’re a smart person, Tae! You’re not stupid so use your damn head. She clearly left you for someone else. What are you even holding on to?!”

“What am I holding on to? Love, Yujin! I love her.”

“But does she?”

He turns quiet at her question, looking away to avoid her gaze and it just makes her blood boil even more. “Fine, have it your way but don’t come back to me and complain about this girl because I don’t want to hear any more of this crap.”

She immediately feels bad when she sees his eyes b with tears and she hates the fact that he’s crying over someone who didn’t even care about how he felt. “Tae, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve just listened to you instead of giving unsolicited advice but I just can’t stand it. I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt by Jia all over again.” He only nods with his head hung low as tears continue to spill from his eyes.

Yujin hugs him from the side, combing his hair using her fingers to calm him down. “I’m sorry.” She apologizes once again because she’s weak for him just like that. The two of them sit in silence, the room filled with the sound of the heavy, pelting rain and Taehyung’s sniffles.

“Are you mad at me?”

Taehyung looks at her, eyes red and puffy. He shakes his head and smiles bitterly. “It’s just that truth hurts sometimes. It stings.”

Oh, it doesn’t only sting. It cuts you deep and slaps you awake.

And Yujin knows that no matter how much she wants to give him the entire world, he’d still be looking for someone else.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 [end of flashback]🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Yujin gets discharged from the hospital and it was all awkward silence until they arrived home after her mother tried to convince her to get the surgery. She even went as far as using her friends to talk it out of her but Yujin’s decision remains the same.

The surgery’s side effect is losing all memories of the person you love and Yujin isn’t up for that because it’s unfair. It’s unfair to leave one person to remember as the other carries on as if nothing between them ever existed. Plus, Yujin also cherishes every moment they had together. She holds them close to her heart and she doesn’t want to lose them which is why a surgery won’t happen.

"Can you all stop treating me like I'm terminally ill. I'm not dying, I'm alive." She snaps when her friends come over to visit and treats her like she’s fragile glass. "Well, you could die." Yoongi says as a matter of factly and of course, it just irks her.

Yujin crosses her arms to her chest. "We're still having this conversation?"

Taehyung stays over the weekend to help her catch up with all the work she needs to do. Senior year is as draining as it can get and now she has this disease that the life out of her. He lies next to her, pressed closely as he mindlessly plays with the strands of her hair. At one point she just slams the book shut and lets out an exasperated groan.

"Can I just drop out, live somewhere no one knows me and be a stripper." She whines, rubbing her face with her two hands and her best friend only laughs at her.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Taehyung shrugs. “But hey, if Yoongi's fine then we're fine. If he thinks he's ed then it's our end."

Yujin hits him with her pen on his forehead and he rubs it with a pout."It's not like you were absent for a week and you come back with backlogs."

“True, though.” He chuckles but his smile drops when he sees her her chest as if trying to soothe the pain.

“Does it hurt?” He asks, making Yujin stop her movements. She nods slowly, lips curling up into a smile that doesn’t even reach her eyes.

I love you so much and it hurts so bad.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Taehyung says and he grabs her hand to fiddle with her fingers and Yujin can’t help but look at the way their hands almost fit perfectly, like it was intently made to be like that. “You know there was this legend in our province about Hanahaki,”

Taehyung looks back at her fingers, caressing them gently as he speaks. “There was a witch who had her soul tied to a human and when they found each other, she fell in love with him. He, too, seemed to be very much in love but then the people found it odd, so odd because it was like something that’s not supposed to happen. A human’s soulmate was a witch, how strange does that sound?” Yujin keeps her eyes on him as he tells the story. It’s calming, relaxing.

“The witch gave nearly everything to that man only to find out that he was only using her for her abilities, for who she was and she was so heartbroken that she cursed the entire human race. A disease will fall upon anyone who experiences unrequited love so that they’d get to feel that heart wrenching pain that the witch felt.”

“That’s so ed up, Tae," Yujin chuckles dryly. "I mean, why would you want someone to be miserable even if it isn’t their fault?”

He hums in agreement. “I know it’s pointless logic.”

Their eyes lock and Taehyung snuggles closer, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. For a short moment it's like the two of them are wrapped around their own tiny bubble. “Go out with me?” He says, almost a whisper and Yujin’s entire world stills.

And when she thought all this will finally be over, she feels the petals rise back on . Her heart has already been shattered into pieces on the first time she coughed up petals and this time it felt like someone stepped on the broken pieces of her heart to tear her apart into shreds until nothing is left.

She agrees, nonetheless, because for now, this is enough. It feels enough.

They go out together more often than they used to, filling their galleries with photos of each other, capturing fond memories they have.

Yujin learns to enjoy the long walks with Taehyung. His presence is so soothing that it takes her mind off of nonsense thoughts. Sometimes, they stop by the park, eating their favorite ice cream and it just feels right even if nothing seems to be right.

Yujin takes him to her apartment's rooftop and Taehyung beams in awe with how the sky is littered with countless stars that glimmer against the dark. He positions himself behind her, tugging her closer until she has her back against his chest and he wraps his arms around her waist with his chin placed on her shoulder.

The pair gazes up at the sky silently, a kind of silence that she grew to love. They stand there quietly admiring the stars, basking in the cool night breeze and she hears him sigh, shivering at the feeling of his breath against her neck.

"That guy you love is stupid, so stupid he doesn't see you."

"I bet he is." Yujin chuckles mirthlessly.

"Do you think he's in love with someone else?"

"Either that or he really is stupid."

In a blink of an eye, a streak of glowing light shoots across the sky and their eyes lit up in excitement. "Let's make a wish!" Taehyung says abruptly with pure excitement and the both of them close their eyes.

Yujin feels a turmoil starting on the pit of her stomach as she wishes for something more than this and Taehyung stands there, tightening his hold on her waist, hoping that they can stay like this for a little longer.

"You didn't make a wish and you're staring at me." She mumbles with eyes still closed when she feels a pair of eyes on her.

"And?"

"It's weird."

"Is it?" She feels a peck on the corner of her lips that makes her quickly open her eyes and turn her head to look at him. She sees Taehyung with a cheeky smile on his face.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. It just feels right." He replies, resting his head on her shoulder. They stay silent for a while and Yujin places her hand against his, Taehyung moving his own to interlock their fingers.

"What are we doing, Tae? The lunch outs, the long walks, late night talks, studying together, you hanging out in my place. This. What is this?"

"I don't know but whatever it is, I like it. It makes me happy and being with you makes me forget about a lot of things. Are you happy?"

She moves her gaze back on the stars and sinks back into his arms. "I am happy."

"Then that's all that matters. I like making you smile. It makes me happy too."

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Yujin ends up at Yoongi's place a week after, telling him about what's been happening and she hears him huff in annoyance.

"He said that to you? Taehyung said that?" He asks in disbelief while leaning against the counter, making sure he's heard the right thing and she nods with tears in the corner of her eyes.

"I'm gonna bury him alive." Yoongi says furiously. "Your soulmate is a walking red flag."

"I don't want to see him anymore." She blurts out and his head rapidly shoots up.

"So, you're getting the surgery?"

"No."

"The doctor said Hanahaki can go away when the feelings go away."

"And you think you'll magically get over him?"

"Maybe? I hope so."

"Has anyone ever told the two of you that you're both stupid?"

Yoongi is right because when summer break comes, Yujin and Taehyung become practically inseparable. He hangs out frequently in her place with the excuse of he has nothing to do and the boredom is going to make his brain shrivel up so she just welcomes him with open arms.

The two are seated on the couch, watching a sappy romance movie while munching on popcorn and suddenly a piece gets caught up on Yujin's throat, turning her into a coughing fit. Taehyung shuffles to pass her a drink but he freezes midway when he sees a few petals escape from her lips, falling down her lap.

Yujin immediately stands up and dashes towards the bathroom, squatting down to level herself with the toilet and spits it out harshly. The white petals keep spilling from her lips uncontrollably and she feels them pool in , making her wheeze as it blocks her airway.

She hears frantic footsteps and she remembers that she left the bathroom door open so she moves back to close it, causing the petals to spill down the floor but she’s too weak to fight Taehyung who’s forcing the door open.

He stands in front of the mess, jaw nearly dropping at the scene before him. ", what am I gonna do?" He mutters under his breath, distressed and anxious and he doesn't even want to touch her because she looks like she's in so much pain.

He hears her choke and it makes him quickly scramble down to her side, pulling her hair back so she can get some air while rubbing at her back to alleviate her pain but she turns away from him. She grabs at his wrist to shove him away but he's much stronger than her right now and he doesn't budge.

"Yujin, stop fighting me!"

She still tries to pry his hands off of her but all the strength leaves her body when she feels a burning pain down . It hurts so much that she lets out a broken cry, gasping for air as her stomach twists in pain.

The next wave of petals are streaked with crimson red, staining her lips and leaving a metallic taste on her tongue. Tears come out of her eyes in panic when more slip out of , barely noticing Taehyung's hand on hers. He holds her tightly, terrified that he might lose her right here.

She throws up a few more until everything stops. She spits out the remaining blood in , grimacing in disgust and soon, the sound of her sobs fill the four walls of the bathroom. She nearly doubles over but Taehyung was quick to catch her, making her lean against his arms.

Her entire body quivers and he moves in front of her, cupping her face with his hands. "Hey, hey, Yujin, look at me." He whispers and Yujin struggles to get herself to focus, as she continues to cry until she feels lightheaded because why are there still so many petals? Why is there blood? Why does he have to see this and why does everything hurt?

"Yujin, breathe with me. Come on." Taehyung says with a trembling voice and she tries hard to understand his words despite her fuzzy brain. “Just focus on me, listen to my voice and take in deep breaths.” He tries again and Yujin picks it up but her chest only tightens with every inhale, struggling to get some air into her lungs.

“Breathe in.” He instructs, taking in a deep breath which she follows. “And out.” She desperately needs something to hold on to so she clutches his wrist firmly as they repeat the process until her breathing comes back to normal and the tremors of her hands start to decrease.

"S-sorry you had to see that." She croaks out, face contorting in pain as she speaks.

"You're okay?" He asks, voice laced with pure worry and Yujin nods, feeling a wave of exhaustion take over. "Oh, thank god." He pulls her in a tight hug, letting out a shaky breath and they stay like that for a few minutes, with her face buried on his chest. He holds her close because it feels like she’s slipping away.

Taehyung helps her up, wiping the stains of dried blood on her lips and guides her to sit down in the dining area. He hands her a glass of water and she winces at the burning sensation when she swallows. It feels like is wounded and it suddenly registers in her mind that it might be the thorns that the doctors warned her about.

"Yujin," he starts, ever so gently. "Why don't you just get the surgery so you won't have to suffer like this anymore?" He looks at her and all Yujin sees is sincerity, pure concern and worry instead of pity because he never looked at her like that.

She just shakes her head, hesitating to speak with how much hurts. He moves closer, caressing her hair.

"I get it that you love whoever that person is but this is bad. This is literally killing you while he's out there living his best life. This isn't fair for you."

How ed up can this get? She thinks.

Yujin gives him a sad smile and Taehyung hates it. He hates it that he can't even do anything for her.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

"You know, I've been thinking about it for a while, my ideal date... just simply hanging out on a quiet rooftop under the moonlight, maybe a slow dance to soft music. I never got to do this, you know? But it's romantic isn't it?" Taehyung says dreamily, leaning against the railings of her room’s balcony while admiring the mixed hues of orange as the sun starts to set. After what happened, he just doesn’t want to leave her side anymore. "What's yours?" He asks, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

Yujin sits silently, trying to piece her thoughts together and taking into consideration what Yoongi told her back then. He sounded so sure that Taehyung has feelings for her. He said it’s because of the way he looks at her, the way he cares for her, the way he almost abandons everything when she needs him. That’s what he said so she thinks that maybe it’s worth the risk.

"Maybe have that slow dance with you."

She sees how he tenses as the color drains from his face and she instantly regrets the words that left . He's completely taken aback because how the hell was he so stupid, so stupid for thinking it was someone else. Taehyung looked at her and for the first time she hated his eyes, because those eyes that she loved the most, the ones that hold a deep gaze that drowns you, are now looking at her with nothing but guilt and pity. "Oh god, it's me. You're sick because of me."

He cups her face gently, as if she's going to break. "Why me, Yujin? This can't be... I'm... you know I'm in love with someone else."

"You're still not over her?"

"I thought I was.” He his lips and runs his hand through his hair. “But I tried. I swear, I tried—" Yujin cuts him off, laughing bitterly at his remark. "Really? You tried?”

"I thought I was over her but I saw them together last night. She was pretty, stunning as ever and you know what's ty? They look so good together, like a perfect match and despite that, I still wanted her back."

We’re a perfect match too. We could've been.

"Tae, she left you." She says through gritted teeth and Taehyung only rolls his eyes. "Shut up."

"Why? You don't want to hear it? Well for you because you have to open your damn ears and listen to me. She doesn't love you, Tae-"

"I said shut up!" He shouts but it only infuriates her even more.

"No! You, shut up!” Yujin yells back at him, fuming with anger. He’s so blind. How can he be so ing blind? “She doesn't love you enough or maybe she didn't even love you in the first place. You just can't leave your boyfriend all of a sudden just because you found someone else. You don't do that to people! Why can’t you see that she doesn't deserve you—"

"And you do?" He sneers. "You think you're the one who deserves me, right? Because you're the one who's always been by my side. Because you're in love with me and you badly want me to be yours so you want to keep me away from her."

Yujin steps back, hands trembling as a fresh wave of rage courses through her veins. She looks at him incredulously, refusing to believe the words that left his lips because this isn’t the Taehyung she knew. He surely doesn’t mean it.

He won’t do this to her.

Or so she thought because he tilts his head to the side and mocks her silence, lips forming into a cruel smirk. "What? Truth hurts? Does it sting, Yujin?"

Yujin's expression hardens as she stares at him straight in the eye, void of any emotions, with her fists clenched by her side. Blinking back the tears that are prickling on the corners of her eyes, not wanting to give him any ounce of right to see her break in front of him.

“Thanks for letting me know that this is how you think of me.” She says flatly, voice threatening to break.

.

Taehyung realizes and he’s horrified by what he just did. He absolutely feels horrible. “I… I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please. I didn’t mean to say that.” He rapidly reaches out to her, grasping her wrist but she only tugs her hand and pushes him away harshly. Yujin turns her back to him without a word and he rushes to hug her from the back, clinging to her tightly and god, it’s so tempting to just succumb into his arms and go back to how it was before.

He tightens his grip around her waist and she just stands there, refusing to give in. “You know me, Yujin. You know I don’t mean those words, please.”

“I regret meeting you, Taehyung.”

He shakes his head, voice cracking as he speaks. “No. No you don’t.” All her resolve nearly crumbles down when he rests his head on the crook of her neck and she feels the tears spilling from his eyes.

“I truly do because my life would’ve been peaceful if our paths didn’t cross.” She says, apathetic, and Taehyung only pulls her closer. She probably felt this way when he said those words to her but then he knows that Yujin doesn’t mean any of this because at this point, they’re just throwing insults at each other. Carelessly spitting out things that would hurt the two of them.

“I can’t lose you, please. I can’t… I love you.”

“Now, you love me?” She scoffs and pulls out of his embrace to turn around and face him. “You love me as what, Taehyung? What am I even to you? A best friend? A soulmate? Or a replacement?” He only gives her a conflicted look, like he’s struggling to get his words out and this is what makes everything so wrong.

"You think I didn't notice it? That everything you do with me are the things you couldn't do with your damn ex. She thinks museums and art galleries are boring. She’s a morning person but you’re not. She doesn’t get your music taste. Heck, she even told you that you ramble a lot." She roughly wipes the single tear that rolls down her cheek. "But then you found me. You found someone who understands you and I was fine with being your best friend, Taehyung. I was ready to accept that but you still crossed the line. You ing crossed the line. You kissed me just because you felt like it? you!"

Taehyung dares to move closer, running his hand down her cheek but she turns away from his touch. "I'm sorry I just... "

“Stop being sorry and just go away.”

“Yujin, please." He pleads one last time and he’s so close that she can clearly see how his eyes are red with tears and filled with guilt. Push him away she repeatedly tells herself because she’s starting to feel weak for him once again. She’s always been weak for him. "Leave me alone."

He finally drops his gaze, nodding in defeat. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, Yujin, you’re half of my soul so I hope you’ll still forgive me.” Taehyung says and the moment he leaves, her facade instantly breaks. Her knees buckled as sobs wracked her entire being, unable to stop her tears.

Nothing about what Taehyung said was wrong. He was right because she always wanted more and she did believe that she was the right one for him because this damn universe gave them each other. They were supposed to be the one who’s meant together, not someone else, because that’s how soulmates work and that’s what makes her feel worse. It hurts so much everytime she thinks about how she’s hopelessly in love with Taehyung.

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Yujin stops talking to Taehyung, they lose communication for weeks and to him, it feels like months. How did they fall apart that fast? He misses the sound of her voice, misses the way they talk about all sorts of things, misses hugging her and teasing her. He misses Yujin so much but he knows that he should give her all the time she needs.

“I feel like .” Taehyung finds himself seated on Yoongi's couch, wallowing in regret, with his friend giving him a disapproving look. Seemingly annoyed at how he's caught up with the mess of his friends that he isn't even involved in. "Feel free to call me names but I honestly think you deserve that because you completely acted like an ." Yoongi tells him bluntly and Taehyung doesn't take offense.

"Did you know that the last time I talked to Yujin, I told her that I'm going to bury you alive." He adds and Taehyung just looks up at him blankly. "I might as well just walk to my grave." He mutters.

"On a serious note, Tae, are you really that dense? Because anyone can tell that you're madly in love with her. You look at her with hearts in your eyes for god's sake. You talk about her almost all of the time, about how you love her smile, about how she’s the best person in this entire world, and you even wrote songs for her, not just once. You take her out on dates so now look at me in the eye and tell me you never had feelings for her."

"She's my best friend, Yoongi. Those were friendly stuff." Taehyung sighs. "The two of you are close too, so you get what I mean right?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean. Sure, I go out with my friends to watch movies, hangout or grab some lunch together but I definitely don't kiss my friends, Tae." Yoongi says with a hint of mockery and shakes his head when Taehyung groans in frustration.

"Okay, let's say she's special to me but…" He trails off and Yoongi arches his brow at him. "But?"

Taehyung pulls at his hair and whines. "I don't know. I really don't know."

"Look, I don't intend to invalidate how you feel but I think that you're only holding on to memories. I mean, your feelings for Jia aren't even that strong because if that's the case, you would've gotten Hanahaki like Yujin did. Try to take your thoughts off of everything for a moment and think about who you can let go, who you can live without.” "

"You think she'd still want to see me?" Taehyung asks rhetorically and his friend shrugs.

“You know her better than I do, Taehyung. Talk it out, properly, maturely, without yelling and insulting each other, please. Because I swear if either of you comes to my place again, I’m not going to open the door. I’m going to let you both rot outside my apartment until the two of you sort this out.”

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Taehyung stares up at the ceiling, feeling empty, like a part of him was torn apart. His thoughts are cluttered and he briefly wonders how Yujin’s doing right now. Is she as messed up as he is or is she handling things better than him?

His eyes catch a polaroid photo of the two of them clipped on his study table. They looked so happy, eyes crinkling into crescents as they smiled while holding their hands up to form a peace sign and Taehyung is willing to give anything just to have them back like this again.

The short buzz of his phone makes him jolt up from his bed, scrambling to unlock it and check the message and his heart only sinks when he sees that it wasn’t from Yujin. It was from his ex, asking to meet up with him because apparently she misses him and it dawns upon him that he was expecting someone else, that the person he truly wanted was Yujin and not anybody else and he’s ing stupid.

He’s so stupid and he just wants to smack himself for being too naive.

Taehyung hurries to her place, not wanting to waste more time because he needs to see Yujin now before he actually loses her, before she finally decides to let go. The nerves hit him when he arrives, fingers shaking as he presses her floor in the elevator. His eyes constantly shift from the door to the screen that displays the current floor and he’s never felt an elevator ride to be this long.

He lets out a shaky breath to relieve some tension when the elevator dings at his stop. His legs are jittery, hands turning clammy as he gets closer and his body just doesn’t want to cooperate with him. Everything makes him want to just turn around and run away, far away, stomach clenching when he stands in front of her door but his eyebrows suddenly knit in confusion when he notices the door slightly ajar.

Taehyung slowly pushes it open, carefully, to avoid any disturbance and he stumbles back, gasping when he sees Yujin’s unconscious body lying on the floor. There are white rose petals scattered all over the floor, most of them smeared with blood and his mind turns blank. His ears are ringing, heart pounding loudly against his chest as he stares with wide eyes, trying to rack his brain.

He finally comes to his senses, calling an emergency and tells the details while entering. He kneels beside his friend and his hands visibly tremble when he gives her cheek a gentle tap. “Yujin,” he lets out shakily and nothing happens. He taps her with more force this time but her eyes remain close, without any hint of consciousness. “D-don’t do this to me, Yujin.” Taehyung’s vision blurs with tears as he tries to shake her limp body awake, begging her to wake up but there’s still no response and his entire being aches down to his very core.

I love you. I love you so much, he wanted to say as he pressed his lips against hers, wishing she’d magically wake up like they’re in some kind of sick and twisted fairy tale. The petals crumple beneath him. How could something so delicate cause this much pain? If only he realized he loved her sooner. If only he wasn’t so in denial of his feelings…

“Please...p-please,” Taehyung pleads to the heavens, pleads that he isn’t too late, pleads as he places his fingers down her neck and tears of relief pour down his face when he feels a weak throb of pulse. “I’m so s-sorry.” He sobs as he hugs her tight, not caring if blood was smeared across his shirt, and intertwined his fingers with her cold ones. Stay with me, please.

Taehyung holds her close until the ambulance comes to help. He stares into space, still in shock, when they hook her up to the machines and he can see that her vitals are unstable. He’s been studying this for years and never in his life did he imagine that he’d see this happen to someone dear to him and it makes him hate himself even more.

A mass of guilt hits him like a truck when he sees Yujin’s mother enter the hospital lobby, clearly crying as her eyes are red and puffy and Taehyung just wants to get down on his knees to apologize when she asks him what happened.

“T-the roses… it’s… it’s too much for her body and they said… t-they said that if we were a minute late s-she’d be gone by now.” He says, grimly stuttering as he tries to explain the situation and she audibly sobs. She immediately rushes to the nurse’s desk when he tells her that they needed her consent for the surgery and in all honesty, Taehyung doesn’t care if Yujin loses her memory after this. All he wants is for her to come back, to make it out alive and maybe it’s better this way, if she wakes up without remembering anything. At least she’ll be free from pain and heartache.

They sit silently at the waiting area, grief stricken and Taehyung feels like he’s going to explode. “It’s all my fault. T-this is all my fault. It... it was m-me.” He breaks into tears, helpless as the pain eats its way into his heart. “It’s not your fault, darling. We can’t command the heart so don’t be too hard on yourself. You found her and brought her here which means you saved her and I’m thankful for that.” She says considerately while rubbing his back to comfort him.

“It’s just that my daughter loved you too much.” Taehyung aches at her words like he’s been thrown into a bed of thorns instead of roses. “I love her too and I should’ve realized it sooner.”

The doors of the operating room open and the two of them stand up as the doctor approaches. “The surgery was a success.” The surgeon says and Yujin’s mother starts sobbing again. “We managed to take out all of the roses and the thorns made the surgery a bit complicated but thankfully, it didn’t cause any major injuries. had a few scratches but she should be speaking fine. We also found that the roses were not growing anymore which means that the Hanahaki is cured and most probably, her body was just trying to get rid of the flowers which is why she was throwing up a lot of them.”

She thanks the doctor profusely with tears in her eyes and looks at Taehyung with reassurance. “If the Hanahaki is cured, does that mean the surgery won't affect her memories?” She asks the surgeon before he leaves and he gives her an uncertain look. “As for her memories, we would only know once she wakes up.”

Taehyung gently her fingers while he watches her sleeping form. He’s never seen her this fragile and vulnerable before and he can only imagine how tough it must have been for her. He stills when he feels her fingers move against his own and when he glances at her face, he sees Yujin’s eyes slowly flutter open. He moves back to give her mother some space, allowing her to have some time with her daughter, waiting until the woman looks back at him and gestures at him to come closer.

“Yujin,” he starts carefully in a hushed tone but ends up wavering when he’s met with bewildered eyes. Fear strikes his being when he remembers that she might not have her memories of him. Taehyung knows that he’s been selfish and he wants to be selfish for one last time so he prays to all the gods out there that his soulmate recognizes him. Yujin blinks slowly, fixating her eyes on him.

“P-please tell me you know who I am...” He says quietly, nearly a whisper and he silently waits. He waits for a reply, even a single nod is fine to make him sleep peacefully at night. “Will it matter if I don’t?” Yujin questions him, her voice still weak and frail. No. This can’t be. There has to be some other way. Taehyung knows that he said he doesn’t care if she loses her memories but he does care. He cares about it so much that it hurts to see her look at him like he’s a stranger and things won’t turn out this way if only he sorted out his feelings earlier

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I had to put you in so much pain. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to figure things out.” His eyes turn glassy with tears and Yujin’s eyebrows furrow in an attempt to give the effort to understand his words. “I love you, I really do and I know it sounds so selfish but I can’t bear the thought of losing you. So please give me one more chance and I’ll show you...”

“You can’t be telling that when I’m high from sedatives and painkillers, Tae.” She mutters with a slight slur and Taehyung’s heart leaps up, eyes widening when he hears his name leave her lips. “Y-you remember me, right?”

“‘Course, I do.” and that’s all that matters right now. “I feel tired, Tae. Will you be here when I wake up?”

Taehyung drags the chair and sits right beside her bed. “I’m never leaving your side again.” He says and presses a kiss on the back of her hand.

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It took nearly three weeks for Yujin to be able to fully recover and pretty much nothing changed between her and Taehyung. They take things slowly, one step at a time until they’ve cleared everything up.

He asks her to meet him at the rooftop on the night before their graduation and when she’s about to open the door, she hears a soft piano playing behind. La vie en rose. This is so Taehyung, she thinks to herself. To her surprise, she sees the ground decorated with fairy lights that illuminate the place just like the stars in the sky. There’s a picnic mat on the floor with a small bluetooth speaker on the side and Yujin can’t keep herself from smiling

“I thought you’re going to ditch me.” He says jokingly while approaching her. “How romantic.” She teases him with a grin on her face and Taehyung only shrugs.

He reaches out for her hand, squeezing it lightly. "I believe I still owe you a dance under the moonlight." His other hand moves to unlock his phone, and after a few taps, the song switches and she recognizes it. At last by Etta James.

Taehyung’s eyes twinkle in delight when she wraps around his neck and instinct, he places his own on her waist as the two of them move their feet along the rhythm of the soft music. For the first time in months, the ache in Yujin’s chest is replaced with calm waves of bliss and tears start to pool at the corner of her eyes.

“I always make you cry, don’t I?

Yujin shakes her head and smiles at him fondly. “You make me happy.”

Taehyung brushes the back of his hand on her cheek with his deep, brown eyes gazing into hers. “I love you.” He whispers before closing the gap between them, lips pressed softly against hers into a gentle kiss.

“I love you too.” Yujin breathes out when she pulls away and this time around, the both of them are sure that things are slowly falling into place because soulmates are bound to find each other despite how crazy things can get. One way or another, they’re meant to come home to each other’s arms.

 

-end-

 

[a/n: I hope you enjoyed reading!! leave some comments, it motivates me]