Chan blinked slowly.

The first thing he noticed was how great he felt. The pain he sensed previously had completely disappeared.

He groaned softly when another pain slowly ached his muscles and the back of his head.

He tried to sit, only to find himself struggling to just lift his head. His body weighed so heavily on the floor that he couldn’t find the strength to really move. He sighed a bit, now completely lucid and finally understood what happened to him.

 

He fainted.

 

And looking around, the staircase just in front of him plus the pain on his back, he understood he fainted and fell off the stairs, surely hitting his head on every step and explaining the small bump he had.

He waited a bit before trying again to sit, leaning his back against the wall and trying to process his situation.

Without a second thought, he took out his phone, looking at the time. He remembered leaving the practice room to go to the restroom at ten.

Approximately five minutes had passed, which meant he didn’t faint for too long.

He let out another sigh, more of relief, slowly standing up. The kids didn’t need to know, he clearly fainted because he forgot to eat, and their practice had gone longer than usual. And maybe because he hadn’t really slept those last days.

He didn’t feel anything terrible, his body was aching as if he had a rough workout and his head hurt a bit, but nothing too bothering. Other than that, he was fine.

He nodded at himself when he was sure he wasn’t going to pass out again, walking upstairs and decided to eat something from one of the vending machines. He wondered if the kids were hungry and decided to buy them some snacks.

Walking back into the practice room, they were all sprawled on the floor, using their phone or just trying to rest. He couldn’t help but smile fondly.

“I got some food,” He spoke, everyone looking at him and almost jumping on him.

“My favorite !” Jisung yelled as he took a bag of cookies, opened it and ate one with a grin, “thanks hyung !”

Chan grinned while the others were busy opening all the bags, eating with happy smiles, “Anything for you,” he replied softly because it was true. He would do anything for them.

They always told him he wore his heart on his sleeve and they were right, especially when it was about his family. Just seeing them smile and laugh together eased him and in those moments he would just forget about his struggles and worries.

 

He loved them too much.

 

“Time for practice !” Minho yelled.

Practice had been harder, his muscles burning in agony and the pain from his fall was not helping either. His movements were a bit more restrained, not wanting to feel the annoying pain pulling him back.

He hoped no one noticed, but of course, under the scrutinizing gaze of Minho he hadn’t any chance.

“Hyung, something’s wrong ?”

Chan smiled, shaking his head, “Nah, I think I’m just tired,” he answered, half honestly, he was tired. But they didn’t need to know the real reason.

Minho nodded with a frown, Chan didn’t like it at all, Minho was better with always a smile on his face and his typical teasing trait, “We just have a few songs to do, think you can try harder ? Your moves were a bit shallow.”

Chan nodded, too bad for his muscles begging for some rest. “Yeah, sorry.”

They all got back in position before Minho the music, and they all fell silent as they danced, only small pants and groans and sometimes loud cheering to hype up everyone could be heard with the music.

Chan got a bit used to the aching, only wincing and grimacing a few times, hoping the others saw it as being too much into the performance.

The last song finished and they all groaned, slumping on the floor and panting.

“Oh god, I’m so dead,” Hyunjin complained, yelping when Jeongin threw at him a bottle of water.

“Tell me we finished,” Felix cried out, staring at the ceiling, completely soulless.

Minho snorted, “Yeah, but who’s going to clean the practice room ?”

“Not me,” Seungmin replied, scrolling on his phone.

“Let’s do rock, paper, scissors,” Changbin told them, already fist in the air, the others agreeing as they huddled closer.

“Two people will clean the place,” Chan added, looking at everyone and smiling at how cute they looked, all serious about avoiding such a chore.

Everyone nodded before starting. They had to do it a few times and finally the two losers were chosen.

Changbin and Jeongin lost, the others cheering happily.

“Why did I even ask for that game,” Changbin complained while Jeongin sighed dramatically.

Chan laughed softly at their distress, the others already scurrying to leave and finally have the sleep they deserved.

He still had to go to his studio to work on some of their songs despite the headache starting to really bother him.

He took his bag, patting their backs with a cheeky grin and left them at their own sufferings, ignoring their begs for some help.

 

 

 

Chan looked at the clock, blinking dumbly when he noticed he had spent more than six hours working non-stop, despite the pain. He carefully touched the bump at the back of his head, grimacing at the sharp pang shooting.

He should maybe press some ice on the area ? And take some painkillers ?

He turned off his computer, slowly putting away his belongings in his bag before leaving the place.

He didn’t feel his state worsen, which meant he was alright, right ?

Just some rest and he would feel better. But they had to prepare themselves for their next comeback after finally having finished Kingdom.

That was fine, he could take it.

He opened the door quietly, taking off his shoes and walking to the bathroom to take a quick and cold shower.

When he stepped out, the dorm was silent, everyone sleeping in their rooms. Chan couldn’t help but carefully open each door to be sure they were all sleeping before closing back slowly with a fond smile.

He went into his room he shared with Changbin and Felix and took off his shirt like usual, draping himself with his blanket and sighing contentedly. He listened to the soft snores of his roommates before closing his eyes, letting sleep take over his consciousness.

 

 

 

“Oh my god—”

“Hyung ? What happened ?”

“I’ll call Minho hyung—”

Chan stirred in his sleep with a frown, groaning softly as he buried his face in his pillow, trying to sleep.

Why was everyone so loud today ?

He turned himself, leaning on his elbows, blinking to get used to the light outside and finding Changbin staring at him with concern, “What ?” He asked hoarsely before laying back on his bed and hugging his blanket.

“What happened to you ?” Changbin asked worriedly, making Chan frown in confusion.

“Nothing, why ?” He replied mildly interested, why did he sound worried ? His need for sleep just almost made him fall back into unconsciousness. If Felix hadn’t brought Minho in.

“Chan hyung, wake up,” He told him, voice firm and mood shifting.

Chan was more lucid after hearing the urgency in his voice. He sat, rubbing his eyes before looking at them, “Yeah, what is it ?” What was so important for them to cut his sleep like that ?

Minho was frowning at him, quickly sitting next to Chan who blinked dumbly and turning him a bit, fingers tracing his back, making the older hiss when he felt a sudden pain. “What happened to you ?”

Chan didn’t answer right away, hand clumsily touching his own back, completely and utterly confused.

“Hyung, your back is covered with bruises,” Felix spoke for the first time, a hint of concern dripping from his voice, “and your spine’s all scratched.”

Chan parted his lips, color draining from his face. He didn’t even think of the possibility of having bruises from his fall.

 

.

 

He glanced at the three of them, all staring at him waiting for an explanation, an explanation Chan didn’t want to give knowing they would worry even more, and they didn’t have time for that.

“I…” he needed to find a lie quickly, “it’s nothing to worry about,” he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck.

“Don’t you dare lie, hyung,” Minho’s voice had a hint of frustration, staring at him with fervor, “explain what happened, or I’ll call our managers.”

Chan swallowed thickly, “I just fell off the stairs, nothing much.”

“You what ?” Changbin asked in disbelief, “And you didn’t tell any of us ?”

The older smiled awkwardly, “Yeah it wasn’t—” he yelped when Minho suddenly touched the back of his head, shoving his hand away before pressing his own hand on the bump.

“You fainted,” Minho stated.

Changbin and Felix stared at him with wide eyes while Chan shook his head quickly, a bit panicking, how did he even find out ? “What ? No, not at all—”

“If you were awake when you fell, you wouldn’t have hurt your head and maybe you would even have managed to stop your fall,” he retorted with a frown, “you’ve got good reflexe.”

Chan stared at him, lost for words, before looking down, a bit ashamed to be read this easily. He forgot they knew him so well after spending years together.

“What’s going on ?” Jeongin asked as he entered the room with Jisung, noting the heavy mood.

Chan bit his lower lip before nodding slowly, avoiding their gazes, why wasn’t he careful ? “Yeah.”

Minho stared at him, having no mercy, “Say it.”

 

No please.

 

The older whined a bit, hoping to brighten the mood only to not be effective at all with how Minho glared at him. He glanced at everyone, staring at him with worried eyes and tensed shoulders, he made them worry.

“I fainted,” He murmured weakly, looking down at his failure as a leader.

They shouldn’t have known, they didn’t need to worry for them, they weren’t even supposed to take care of him, he was the leader. But now their roles were reversed and he felt a crippling shame clawed at his heart.

 

Please, don’t be worried for me.

 

Jeongin and Jisung looked startled to hear that when Seungmin and Hyunjin came in after finding no one in the other rooms.

“Why’s everyone here ?” Hyunjin asked while Minho stood up, taking his phone out.

“I’ll call our managers,” He told them, leaving the room, Chan knowing he hadn’t any chance to make him change his mind.

 

Why did I sleep without my shirt ?

 

Felix was sitting next to him, gently brushing his bruises and kissing his bare shoulder tenderly while Jeongin was at his other side holding his hand to comfort him and leaning his head on his shoulder.

“But I’m alright,” He complained weakly, not daring to look up and find their disappointed looks.

“When did you faint ?” Changbin asked him, Hyunjin and Seungmin sharing a look.

“You fainted ?” Seungmin asked, sounding worried.

 

Oh no please, don’t tell the others.

 

Jisung nodded for him, “Yeah, he fainted and fell off the stairs.”

Hyunjin’s eyes went wide in shock, kneeling in front of Chan and raising his face, “You alright hyung ?”

Chan nodded like he could, giving a small smile to ease their worries, “For real, just my back hurts, nothing else.”

“And your head,” Felix added with a frown.

“His head too ?” Seungmin mumbled with a growing frown, “we need to bring him to the hospital—”

Chan shook his head, gently moving Hyunjin’s hands from his face, and finally looking up at them. He shouldn’t have, they all looked worried, his guilt sat on his chest comfortably while he struggled to just not worsen the situation, “I’m fine, I don’t have a concussion or anything.”

“How can you be so sure ?” Changbin asked, crossing his arms, “the symptoms could come later, like in the middle of one of our perf.”

Chan shook his head, parting his lips to retort only to be cut by Minho coming back in the room, “The managers are going to take you to the hospital,” he spoke, the others looking relieved but Chan wasn’t.

“I’m fine, for real—”

Minho cut him harshly, “When did you faint ?”

Chan hesitated and before Minho could threaten him, he sighed, “Last night, when we were practicing.”

Felix seemed to understand, looking at him with big eyes, “It’s when you brought us snacks, wasn’t it ?” It was the only time when no one was with him.

Chan nodded wordlessly, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. And it was only the beginning of their day.

 

Good, you’re a complete failure as a leader.

 

Jisung stared at him, “Why didn’t you tell us ?”

“I didn’t think it was that serious, I was fine—”

Changbin scoffed, “Are you for real ? You fainted and fell off the stairs, and you thought it wasn’t serious enough ?”

Chan groaned in frustration, burying his face in his hands, please just stop worrying about me— “But I’m telling you I am alright.”

“I don’t care,” Minho spat, glaring at him, his anger bubbling out, Chan parted his lips in shock for his sudden words, “go to the hospital first and we’ll see after.”

Everyone was silent, his words abrupt and venom-like. He had never raised his voice, especially not to the oldest.

Great, you managed to upset Minho.

Chan could only hang his head low in defeat, nodding, “Alright.”

 

 

 

Like he had expected, he didn’t have anything serious, just bruises and a bump at the back of his head. The doctor taking care of him had prescribed a few days of rest and his managers had scolded him for even trying to hide something this serious.

He just didn’t want to worry anyone. And he wished they didn’t find out, it would’ve been so much easier.

He sighed as the manager dropped him at the dorm with a bag with medicine and one last pat on his back, telling him to rest or he would force him by tying him up.

Chan just nodded begrudgingly before going into the elevator, an anxious feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

He hated worrying them.

The older stepped out when the door opened automatically, stopping in front of the dorm’s door.

He took a deep breath before exhaling and opening the door, readying himself from the stream of scolding. He took off his shoes, looking up at Jisung who was just in front of him with a pout.

“Five days of rest,” Chan spoke first, putting his coat on the coat hanger with his black cap.

Jisung hummed, “Good, we already hid your computer,” he finished before pecking his lips and dashing away, leaving Chan blinking for a few seconds.

“Hey !” He yelled when he understood. He had wanted to work a bit even though he wasn’t supposed to, hoping to at least be useful. He sighed as he went into the kitchen where Seungmin and Felix were trying to cook something, it didn’t look like anything he knew. He just hoped it was something edible.

“Hey hyung, how do you feel ?” Seungmin asked as he focused on the pan in front of him, not wanting to miss when his pancake would be cooked perfectly.

“I’m alright, I just have five days of rest,” He told them, shame and guilt weighing him and he smiled gently when Felix engulfed him in a hug, “for real, I’m alright.”

“Maybe you are now, but if you fainted in the beginning it means you weren’t,” Seungmin retorted.

Chan grimaced, “I— yeah, I guess,” his kids were too smart, he should’ve known there was no point in hiding it from them. They would’ve found out sooner or later.

Felix tightened his hug, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it now, just, we’re there for you too,” he pulled away just to peck his lips, Chan humming softly.

It always took him by surprise when they would do the first step to kiss him and sometimes he wondered if he really deserved them. But for now, he would kiss back and melt in their love for him.

 

They’re your family, don’t forget that.

 

When he pulled away he looked at him with such big and worried eyes and an encouraging smile that Chan felt bad, god he really didn’t like worrying them.

“I may or may not have forgotten to eat ? And I didn’t really sleep well too,” He confessed on the spot, avoiding their gazes because he knew what he would find.

Just worry and concern.

“Did you eat today ?” Felix asked worriedly.

Chan shook his head, just after waking up he had been bombarded with questions before having just the time to shower and then he went straight to the hospital.

“Sit, we’ll cook you something,” He obeyed, sitting on one of their chairs, staring at nothing in particular or maybe just at his incompetence laughing at him.

Hyunjin came into the living-room, hugging Chan from behind, “What are we eating ?”

“Pancakes,” Seungmin answered as he smiled proudly, showing his perfect pancake that he put on a plate just in front of Chan who gratefully thanked him.

Hyunjin sat next to the oldest, leaning his head on his shoulder, “How did it go ?”

The older sighed, just thinking of the disappointment coming from their managers had put a sour taste in his mouth, he would just have to work harder from now on, and Felix answered for him, “He has five days of rest.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin held one of his hands, hoping to comfort him.

“That’s good, you need to rest for our comeback,” he grinned making Chan smile instinctively, “I’m finally coming back, I don’t want you to be forced to rest longer because you thought it was nothing too serious,” he pouted before smiling again, “I want everyone to be in good health for our comeback !”

Chan smiled a bit, patting Hyunjin’s knee, “Right, Stays are going to cry when they’ll see you,” they all were so glad to finally have Hyunjin back with them, they had felt so incomplete without him.

They weren’t Stray Kids if one of them was missing.

Hyunjin smiled more, “I’m so excited !” and without a word, leaned to kiss him, Chan couldn’t help but smile, laughing softly when Hyunjin kissed his cheek a few times aggressively before hugging him tightly and making him yelp, his body still aching from his fall. Hyunjin seemed to remember, shyly pulling away and apologizing.

“Eat hyung, before it’s cold,” Felix told him as he started washing the dishes.

Changbin came by, stealing a piece of pancake from his plate and eating happily before going into the living-room and turning on the TV. “Hyung !” He yelled childishly to brighten the mood, the others snorting at his antics, “Don’t worry us like that !”

“I’m sorry,” Chan replied with a smile, munching his pancake, before giving some to Hyunjin who kept drooling, “if I get hurt, you’ll be the first to know,” he added, knowing he would not do that at all and feeling maybe a tiny bit bad for lying to him like that.

But it was for the best, he would try to be a better leader even if it means collapsing again.

“You better !” He yelled as loud as he could, laying on the couch comfortably, satisfied by his answer.

Chan snorted, quickly finishing his pancakes before standing up, “Where are the others ?” He needed to reassure everyone about his state.

“Inie’s in his room, Jisungie’s surely with him and I don’t know for Minho hyung,” Seungmin told him.

Chan nodded before going to Jeongin’s room, slowly opening the door.

Jeongin looked up at him, Jisung playing on the Switch ignoring him. “Hey hyung.”

“Hey Inie,” He spoke softly before opening his arms and embracing the younger in a hug.

“You got us worried,” He said weakly and honestly, sighing a bit.

Chan smiled sympathetically, Jeongin was so young he didn’t need to worry about something this trivial. He wanted to cheer him up and decided to roughly ruffle his hair, making him yelp dramatically, “I’m alright, I just need five days of rest.”

“Nothing too serious ?” He asked with a tiny voice, eyes glinting with apprehension.

The older smiled fondly, why was he so cute ? “Nothing too serious,” he slowly leaned to peck the youngest, Jeongin smiling in the kiss. When they pulled away, he looked more relaxed and Chan grinned at him. At least he did one thing well.

Jeongin nodded slowly, “You should find back Minho hyung, he was really upset,” and before he could ask, Jeongin answered, “he went to practice.”

Chan nodded patting his shoulder before Jisung looked up from his game, “Hyung, you’re not alone,” he trailed, Chan stopped in his tracks, “you can’t expect us to not care about your wellbeing when you’re a stickler on how we take care of ourselves.”

Chan didn’t look up, Jisung smiled a bit, “We’ll always be by your side, you just have to lean on us.”

 

But I shouldn’t, I’m the leader.

 

He nodded, flashing his signature smile with his dimples showing, “Promise.”

He hadn't even noticed how mature his kids grew up to be. He was proud to say the least, and maybe adored them too much.

 

I promise I’ll be a better leader.

 

 

 

Chan opened the door of the practice room, music bursting loudly, staring at one figure dancing feverishly in the middle.

He walked towards the computer, turning off the music before looking back at Minho who was finishing his last move. He panted a bit, wiping the sweat of his forehead and Chan handed him a bottle of water he bought.

But Minho ignored him, taking his own bottle and drinking from it, going back to the computer to turn on the music.

“You’re really mad at me,” Chan stated just before Minho could turn on the music. He wasn’t really surprised. Minho had every right to be mad at him, he wasn’t a good leader at all—

“A bit,” He answered truthfully, all of his anger completely disappeared after dancing for a few hours, “I’m more mad at myself.”

Chan frowned, “Why would you—”

“I should’ve noticed,” He cut him, frustration evident in his voice, looking back at the older with a pained gaze, “I should’ve understood the moment you couldn’t dance correctly.”

Chan smiled sympathetically, bringing the younger in a hug, not caring of the sweat, “Even the days before, I noticed you were more tired than usual, you—” he slumped a bit in his embrace, shutting his eyes at his incompetence and groaning a bit, “— I should’ve talked to you.” Did they always care that much about him ?

 

Yes you idiot, they’re your family after all.

 

Chan shook his head, replacing his bangs gently with a fond gaze, “You know how I am, I wouldn’t have let you help me anyway,” he said truthfully, they all clearly knew about it and Chan wished they didn’t, it made it harder for him to keep his negative thoughts buried in his mind with how they would cast worried glances towards him.

Minho sighed, “It could’ve been so much worse, do you even imagine that ?” He took a sharp breath, “You got us really worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Chan apologized honestly, “I’m not good at taking care of myself—”

“I noticed,” He cut him sarcastically, Chan pouted, “but seriously hyung, please, just please,” he sighed heavily, “be honest, for the love of god, be honest with us please,” He begged weakly, “if you hide something like this from us, how are we supposed to know— you didn’t even go to the hospital right after, you just— you just didn’t do anything about it,” he stared at him with too much anxiety, “please, talk to us.”

Chan stared at him, surprised and overwhelmed by how distressed he sounded.

 

Have I really been hurting them like that ?

 

Had he been doing it wrong since the beginning ? Why didn’t he notice anything ? He had been hurting them—

He snapped out of his thoughts when Minho cupped his face, staring at him with a sad frown, “Stop overthinking, stop keeping everything to yourself please, we’re there, we’re always there for you,” he murmured softly, voice faltering.

Chan nodded, his words hitting home a bit too close and he swallowed the heavy feeling, trying to not sound choked up, “I’m not sure if I’ll ever manage to tell you everything, but I’ll try, I promise,” He mumbled wondering if he should really tell them. He looked up to find Minho’s eyes glassy and making him slightly panic, “Minho—”

“Chan hyung, you’re the leader, how do you think the group will do without you ?” He asked seriously, “if we lose you, we’re losing everyone.”

The older didn’t expect his words, Minho hugged him letting a shaky breath, blinking away his tears, “We’re in together, if something happens to you, it’s going to touch everyone in the group,” Chan hugged him back tightly, he didn't even think his state could worry his family this much, “never forget that we’re a family, a family you decided to have. So please, tell us when you’re hurt, tell us when you can’t take it anymore, when you’re tired, when you just want to cry,” he mumbled with a quiver, warm hands rubbing his back, burying his face on his shoulder.

 

My family.

 

Had he really been that blind ?

 

Chan chewed on his lower lip, “I’m really sorry.” He hadn’t thought of it, of how it really could’ve been worse. If he had been on the brink of death or if he had fallen into something unsure, the group would have been greatly touched.

He should never let them go through something this painful. He would never forgive himself for hurting them like that ever .

Minho exhaled a long breath, “You’ll tell us for now on, right ?”

The older hummed, his eyes glassy and he quickly blinked his tears away, grinning, “I promise.”

“Good, how’s your back ?” He asked now that he was calmer, pulling away from their hug.

Chan smiled, “Just got some bruises, it doesn’t hurt—” he yelped when Minho slapped his back hard, “— what was that for ?!”

Minho smiled sweetly, “It doesn’t hurt, you say ?”

Chan pouted, smiling internally after finding back the younger’s smile he loved too much, “Don’t be mean,” he whined.

Minho laughed, deciding to turn off the computer, “Let’s go back,” Chan nodded at his words, startled when Minho held his hand.

“Just, don’t ever forget, we’re there for you too,” he told him honestly, staring at him with a thousand words but not voicing any of them. Chan understood this gaze.

 

We love you.

 

And for a moment he felt stupid. Completely stupid to think his family shouldn't care about him. Because they loved him.

Because they couldn't live without him, and he couldn't live without them.

“I know,” he smiled, heart warming up from how cute and caring they all were to him, “I know.”

But he yelped when Minho slapped his , laughing as Chan rubbed the sore spot, “Don’t do that, I got bruises there too,” he whined in pain.

“Even there ?” He asked in disbelief before he laughed even more, “I love seeing you suffer,” he winked at him and Chan chuckled a bit, adoration filling his gaze.

“Love you too Minho-yah,” and he stopped him from walking, pressing his lips against his gently, just for him to know his heart belonged to them, had always belonged to them.

Minho grinned slowly, eyes in crescent shape and looking so delighted and Chan was in love.

 

I’ll sacrifice everything for you.

 

 

 

They arrived back at their dorms and he was startled to find everyone in the living-room with all of their mattresses pressed together and taking all the place, “What’s going on ?”

They just ignored him and Minho shoved him on the mattresses, yelping as he toppled over Seungmin who whine in pain.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized and yelped when Seungmin forced him to lay down, hugging him tightly and pressing his face against his shoulder.

“It’s okay, but we need to talk,” He spoke seriously and Chan could feel them ready to scold him.

Well, he deserved that, clearly.

“About what ?” He asked dumbly with an innocent smile making most of them roll their eyes.

“Your leader syndrome,” Jisung replied with a frown.

And Chan just smiled sweetly, “I don’t know what you mean,” he knew too well and he didn’t want to have that conversation at all . He sat, ready to stand up, “I’ll just go—”

“There’s only one way to make him docile,” Minho said loudly with a smirk and everyone seemed to understand, looking at the older with matching smirks.

“Wha—” he got cut off by Seungmin first who stole a kiss with more ardor than usual, making the older gasp in surprise.

He closed his eyes as he kissed back, relaxing and feeling his heart burst warmly in his chest. But he tensed up when he felt someone else kissing his neck, taking a sharp breath.

“Wait—” He couldn’t finish his sentence, Seungmin looking ready to devour him, biting on his lower lip and a moan slipped from his lips when someone bit on his earlobe at the same time.

He could faintly hear someone snickering at his misery and he cursed Minho for even giving such an idea to them.

But the amount of love he was receiving was too much for him to handle, gasping softly, eyes filled with love and adoration and so much more, he loved them so much it drove him insane.

“Guys, I think hyung’s enough of a mess,” Felix said with a soft chuckle.

When they all gave him some space, he couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands, ears completely red and wanting to disappear, “Don’t look at me,” he whined.

Some laughed at him and he looked at Jeongin slowly taking his hands with a fond smile, kissing his palms with such love that Chan held his breath for a second, hoping no one could see the blush taking place on his cheeks.

“Will you listen to us ?” He asked gently and Chan could only nod, his mind a blubbering mess of love and love and just love.

 

Anything for you.

 

He could hear Minho laughing a bit and he flushed even more. Hyunjin talked first, just on his side, fingers caressing his arm, “We had noticed you were more stressed than usual,” he started, his smile falling into a bitter one, “and yet we didn’t do anything to help you.”

Chan wanted to protest but he was shut by how every one of them looked remorseful. He could only part his lips, completely lost for words. Why did they feel bad for him ?

Jisung nodded at him, “We wanted to apologize for not doing anything and for— for letting it go worse,” smile sad and Chan’s heart broke.

They shouldn’t blame themselves for something they couldn’t do anything about. It was his own fault for not taking care of himself.

“It’s not any of your fault,” he told them with a worried frown, making sure to meet everyone’s gaze, “I’m the only one to blame, I didn’t take care of myself—”

“No hyung,” Changbin cut him, sounding pained, “we’re a family, we take care of each other, it’s not because you're the leader that we shouldn’t take care of you.”

Chan was ready to retort only to be cut by Felix who quickly hugged him, “Let us take care of you, leader or not, you’re allowed to be human.”

And Chan just stopped, something finally clicking in his brain, by keeping everything to himself he had forgotten about this simple fact. “I… I want to take care of all of you,” he retorted weakly.

They nodded at his words and Jeongin added with a smile, “And we want to take care of you, we know it’s hard sometimes, that’s why we’re there, we’re all in together, right ?”

Seungmin gave him his puppy-like smile, his heart warming too much and ready to melt into a puddle of affection, “You keep forgetting about it, we’re a family before being an idol group.”

“We’ve always been by your side,” Minho added softly, wiping something from his cheek and he finally noticed he had been crying, “and I think it’s time for you to realize it.”

He couldn’t help the shaky smile spreading on his face, sniffling weakly, “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“That’s okay hyung,” Felix said with a bright smile, burying his face on his shoulder, “we’re worrying you all the time, it’s only normal for you to return the favor,” the others laughed and Chan smiled even more.

“I love you all,” He told them and they would answer back with kisses, Chan laughing softly.

 

 

 

Chan took off his shirt and laid on his mattress they put knowingly in the middle, sighing contentedly. The others were already on their mattresses, others still brushing their teeth, whispering to each other or playing some games on their phones. He turned himself on one side, coming face to face with Changbin who smiled at him, “Hey.”

Chan grinned, “Hey,” he answered back, humming softly when he kissed him.

He took a sharp breath when sudden lips pressed on his back, precisely on his bruise then on the others and he groaned softly when the kisses trailed on his hurt spine gently, just brushing the place lovingly.

“You’re going to drive me crazy,” Chan whined, Changbin kissing his jawline then down to his neck.

“Good, because you’re driving us crazy all the time,” Jisung told him, before continuing to kiss his back tenderly.

The others snickered and Chan sighed, losing himself in the love they kept drowning him with no mercy, the others slowly joining, kissing him and making sure he knew how much he meant for them.

He smiled, fond and loving and there weren't enough words to describe how much he loved them, how much he cared about them and he knew they thought the same about him.

And he could only try to show them, knowing it would still not be enough because they deserved so much more, so much that Chan couldn’t manage to gift them with even if he was giving his everything to them.

But that was okay. They loved him just as much and just being there for each other was enough.

With that thought in mind, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be loved, hugging his family close.

 

“We’ll do anything for you too, hyung.”

 

~~~

The idea had been buried in my head for a few months and I decided to give it a try, I literally wrote it in one day. The fainting part is based on my own experience :D, which was a bit weird to say the least. I was lucky I had nothing too serious.

I'm a er for angst around Chan UwU, and I love their family too much.
Hope you enjoyed it as much as I wrote it ! <3