I will never forget how you found your way into my life. I was in college back then and part of the music department, a little secluded but not lonely. I had a couple of true friends but I enjoyed my time with them. Sooyoung and Yuri were the ones who always made me do strange things with them as I was a bit of the quiet type. It was fun, I enjoyed my classes without meddling in others’ businesses. My family was caring and loving, yet I loved to be alone most of the time. It was always hard for me to express myself and often found it troublesome, that’s why I preferred to say nothing at all. Love, gossip, all of that weren’t part of my routine. In fact, I found love to be just a distraction, some bacteria that ate up your life while you remained ignorant of it. Don’t get me wrong, I was never a Grinch, I loved to fool around and be a dork, I just loved to do it in private.

Well, back to you. I don’t think there was someone in the entire college who didn’t know who you were. You were the famous Ice Princess from the Fashion Design Department, known for her cold personality and beauty. I saw you once and was terrified, you were glaring at me and I felt like going numb. From then on, I never looked your way again. There was something in you that even gave me nightmares, you might find it funny now but I was like a little kid back then after seeing a horror movie. Actually, I wasn’t the only one who feared you, there were more like me who were left traumatized after meeting you. Even your voice was scary, somber, and always lacking of any emotion. Were you even human?

Back to the topic, I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was walking back to my class, thank Yuri who got me late just because “she didn’t want to walk alone to hers”, that brat. As I was saying, I was walking with heavy steps as I knew the professor was going to give a lecture about my tardiness. I was playing with my phone inside my pocket, tapping it while humming a song just to ease my mind when it happened. I bumped into someone so hard that I fell on the floor with a thud, that hurt like hell, and with a painful grunt I got up. I was about to apologize when I felt my soul leave my body. There, in front of me, were you standing up. I found it hard to gulp due to the shock and even felt my legs giving up on me anytime soon. You were glaring at me. That. Freaking. Glare. I never thought I’d see the day when it would be directed at me again, but I did. I began trembling and you were just standing there with arms crossed waiting for me to say what you were expecting, an apology. I knew I had to apologize but I couldn’t, I lost my voice with just one glance at you. You looked like Satan’s daughter in my eyes that moment, I think only the horns were missing but I could care less.

I felt regaining control of my body and did what I could do best in that position. I ran away. Yes, I ran away from you. I couldn’t even look back afraid of seeing your murdering gaze. I was in such a bad state when I arrived at my class, that my teacher sent me directly to the infirmary instead of lecturing me. I was so afraid of bumping into you that I became a ninja on my way there. Luckily, you were nowhere to be found, so I laid down while the nurse checked my blood pressure and decided to play some games on my phone in the meantime, but how surprised I was when I found no phone in my pocket. I started having cold sweats and my blood pressure skyrocketed making the nurse worry, so I had to explain the reason for my sudden lost of calmness.

She told me to calm down and try to remember where I could’ve lost it, I began thinking and realized that it was probably when I ran away or when I was doing a circus to keep myself hidden from you.

I skipped my last 2 classes in hopes of finding it, asking everyone around the area if they had seen it but it was futile. 4 hours, drenched in sweat, almost getting insulation, famished, thirsty, and no phone whatsoever. All hope just vanished. I decided to sit on a bench to have a small talk with my own self. Like, what did I do wrong? My day had been the worst of all my 21 years of existence. My parents were going to kill me. So, there I was, letting my frustration out while tapping furiously on the bench, a habit that I had when nervousness got the better of me, or when those freaking giants laughed at my height. I’m a small girl, you know, but my body proportions are quite amazing if you may ask. I was feeling the sun burn my skin with the intention of making my parents have a little mercy on me after seeing how hard I had tried to find it. I loved my white skin but I would put it on the table if it was to save my neck. I didn’t want anyone to see the state I was in, so I kept my head hanging down just staring at the grass beneath my feet. It was all “fun” until I caught the sight of an unidentified shadow. After staying there for a while, I decided to greet the owner. I hope I hadn’t done it because it was your face the first thing I saw, looking quite evil with the sun shining right behind you. I couldn’t believe my luck. Was I going to die this way after all? With you being the one to send me up to see God? I didn’t have the energy to run away anymore, I was too tired to do so, and I decided to receive my death with open arms. You were probably going to destroy me for leaving you like that without a proper apology. I lowered my gaze because I couldn’t make out your factions due to the intense sunlight but I was imagining them. I was waiting for you to deliver a punch to my fragile self but it never came. Instead, your hand appeared in front of my eyes, and I almost jumped back out of surprise. I looked at the thing you were holding and a hurricane of emotions took over my body, it was my cellphone. Your hand opened and I slowly took my precious from you accidentally touching your fingers, it was si electrifying that I couldn’t help but cringe at the feeling which I guess you took the wrong way as you moved your hand away. I won’t deny it, your skin felt like silk, the softest thing I have ever touched.

I was blinking quite fast, inspecting my phone just in case you had done something to it. Maybe that’s why I felt that shock when I touched you.

“You dropped it when you ran away.” I looked up in a haste. Your voice was soft and feminine, a total contrast with your cold façade. I couldn’t help but stare at those eyes that used to give me nightmares. I refused to see them before but now I was aware of how deep they were, so deep that I felt myself getting swallowed by them. I used to think they seemed evil and empty but now I know I was missing out on that tiny spec of kindness in them with a tiny bit of golden rays that made them shine if you looked closely. Unable to think or talk, I decided to get lost on your face for a while, and that’s when I finally understood how alluring you were. From your almond-like eyes to your small and pointed nose, and all the way down to your perfect small lips. I felt the air being out of me fearing the possibility of having a heart at any moment. There were a lot of things that I feared but you weren’t one of them anymore. You stood there, scanning my face probably as I could see your eyes moving subtly around.

“I looked around for you but I couldn’t find you until now.” She was looking for me? Gosh, I wanted to slap myself on the face. While I was running away, she was trying to find me just to give my phone back to me. I felt like the worst person on earth. I swallowed hard, thinking that it could help me voice out my gratefulness but it didn't, I just sat there staring right at you. You looked away for a bit and your blonde hair shone brightly under the sun. Was it always this mesmerizing or was it just me? Maybe it was the heat. I was so caught up in your beauty that I didn’t realize the moment you began walking away.

That day I didn’t stop thinking about you, I felt my heart flutter and I was worried that it was what I feared the most. Thinking that I would forget about it while sleeping was a fool way of thinking, I couldn’t sleep at all and that was just the start of it.

I began to grow conscious about you. Looking for you instead of hiding, trying to see you in the hallways, and pacing around your department just to see you once in the day. I wanted to thank you but I knew that I couldn’t. Believe me, I tried approaching you once and I chickened out a second before you walked my way. My mind was a mess and so was my heart. You. You. And you. 24/7. How was I supposed to endure it?

My friends eventually found out about my feelings for you, don’t ask me why or how because I don’t know either. Those bastards came to me one day, making fun of my crush on the Ice Princess. I seriously wanted to kill them but I stopped when I caught your eyes on me while I was trying to choke Sooyoung. You looked a little surprised but diverted your eyes to your friend afterward. In fact, ever since that day you never looked my way, that was the first time you did and I didn’t know if I should’ve been thankful or ashamed of being seen in that position.

Days passed and my feelings kept on growing more and more without stopping. I was scared, terrified of everything, I shouldn’t even like you but here I was, loving you, stalking you. I had a secret folder in my gallery with pictures of you that I looked at every day just to keep me sane.

“You should confess to her, midget