Eric glanced at Minwoo who sat on passenger seat beside him and kinda busy with his backpack for a moment, they sat in silence. It’s still so early in the morning—and for God’s sake, Eric wouldn’t do this if it’s not for Minwoo—his best friend who in another 36 hours or so, gonna leave him to another side of the world. 

“Bong-ah..”

“Umm?”

“If Dongwan won’t give you a second chance, then—“

“No.” Minwoo smiled a bit, “I won’t ask for second chance, I won’t ask anything from him, Ric. Whatever his decision, I’ll accept it. He should’ve make decision that best for him, without my intervention.”

“Ahh, Minbongie being so matured suddenly,” Eric said playfully. 

Minwoo just rolled his eyes—after made sure he had everything he needed on his bag, he turned his head and facing Eric.

“Are you sure you don’t want to greet Dongwan or something?”

Shook his head, Eric pets Minwoo arm, “We’ll still meet each other when he’s back to Seoul, Bong. It’s your time with him.” 

It’s true. Minwoo and Dongwan just have today. A limited time—a numbered hours.

“Thank you for everything Ric.”

“Don’t be freakin sappy with me at this hour Lee Minwoo,” Eric shook his head again, but still received Minwoo hug, “you’re stupid but you’re my special stupid, you know right.”

Laughed, Minwoo nodded his head. 

“Just go, don’t waste your time,” Eric urged Minwoo to exit from his car, “I’ll pick you tomorrow.”

.

.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” 

Minwoo asked, moved Dongwan’s bag to the corner of the bed and gesturing Dongwan to sit next to him. He gave Dongwan smile, a warm one. Hyesung said Dongwan wanted to talk something with him, tell him something.

Dongwan who just changed his clothes, returned Minwoo’s smile and sat beside him. He thinks about the talked between him, Hyesung and Eric last night, and both of them supported him. He already made his mind for now, and he just need to delivered it to Minwoo. 

“Minwoo-ya..”

Minwoo turned to look at him.

“I’ll back to my mom’s,” Dongwan said quietly, and he knew—it shocked Minwoo, “I need to move from here, for a while.”

“Wan..”

“I need to learn to live my life without you, Min.” Dongwan chuckled bitterly and looked into the distance. “You too.”

Minwoo lost his words, he just have—three weeks? And Dongwan wouldn’t be here—physically. For these past months, after their break up—when everything was hard, at least Minwoo could always found Dongwan inside their flats or he could just saw him from a far.

And it’s damn funny, because it was part of his plan before, left Dongwan without goodbye. Yet, when universe granted his wished—he didn’t want it anymore. He despised it.

“But, I want request your last days to be with me,” Dongwan broke the stillness between them, “I think, I can’t go to the airport and face the separation, Min. So, can you give me that? Your last days, can we spend it together?”

Minwoo warm hand covered Dongwan pale hand, kinda relieved. He knew, Dongwan not forgive him yet, and he deserved it. Minwoo need to explained a lot of things, but they’re not ready yet. They’re exhausted. What happened between them was disaster—drained them a lot. Dongwan was right, they need to be apart from each other—need to learn, need to rest, need to have time with their own self.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Meet me at my home, let’s spend it like the old time, how?”

Nodded his head, Minwoo rubbed Dongwan’s hand with his thumb. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

“I should be the one who said thank you tho, thank you Wan—for giving me chance. I messed up.”

Dongwan stayed quiet but looked at their hands instead—and found some Minwoo’s fingers being wrapped with bandage.

“Did you hurt?”

“Just scratched.”

“What happened?” Dongwan asked curiously—touch the bandages, and remembered something. “Was it because the mug that I broke?”

“Nah, I didn’t really realize it yesterday, just wanted help you fast,” Minwoo answered honestly, “not your fault.”

“You saved me, and I give you chance. Now, we’re even, Min.”

.

.

It’s been weeks, twenty-four days to be exact, since their last met. Since Hyesung dropped Dongwan off on train station—and Minwoo just said bye from their flats door. So he thought, it’s gonna be awkward.

But Dongwan welcomed him with his dimple-smiled and sparkle eyes—looking so good at this hour with his brown jacket. His bangs was longer, and the hair looked so soft—Minwoo really wanted to touch it and it. His cheeks was chubbier too, so cute—he wanted to touch and pinch it so bad.

“You look healthy,” Minwoo opened his mouth, “I’m glad.”

“Mom’s food.” Dongwan answered cheekily. “She won’t let me out of the door if I’m not eat up all the food she made, and you know right, she cooked a lot.”

Nodded his head. Minwoo glanced at Dongwan—who walked beside him with a small distance between them. 

Dongwan was getting better and lively. 

“Mom also prepared all your favourite food, she’ll cook it for you, we need to back before lunch!” Dongwan talked animatedly. Using his hands—and smiled a lot.

“Your mom still so nice to me,” Minwoo replied quietly, making Dongwan stopped and eyeing him, “I broke his only son’s heart, made him sick, and failed to protect him. Asked Eric, I prepared myself to be scolded.”

“Silly Minbong!” Dongwan flicked Minwoo’s forehead and laughed. “Mom knew, of course. But she won’t love you less, and—we did hurt each other, Min.”

“I was hurting myself because I hurt you,” Minwoo stared at Dongwan, “what you did to me was nothing, Wan. I deserved it.”

Let out a big sighed, Dongwan just stared back—but his eyes looked so tender and kind. “Your hand please?”

Confused, but Minwoo still gave his hand without asking much, and Dongwan entwined their fingers instantly. 

“Let’s talk later,” Dongwan dragged him to walked again, “now, do you still remember the direction to Dad’s place?”

“Of course I do.”

“Lead us then. He must be miss you too.”

.

.

“Did you come here before?” Minwoo glanced at Dongwan, while his hands still removed some weeds in front of him, “it’s clean.”

Dongwan who also busied himself with plating the fruits and tteok they brought after prepared the mat on the ground, answered without looking at Minwoo. “I did come the day after I arrived here, and promised Dad, you’ll visiting too. Glad you fulfilled it.”

“Of course I’ll come.”

“I know.” Dongwan saw Minwoo’s back, hunched over—cleaning every inch of his Dad’s graveyard. It reminds him of the old days. “Enough Min, you said it too, it’s clean. Come here, let’s do our bow.”

After spent another half minutes to assure himself, that yes—it’s clean already. Obediently, Minwoo back to Dongwan side, let Dongwan dust off some dirts from hoodie that he wears and dab his sweats with the palm of Dongwan’s hand. 

They just did it. It just happened without both of them realized it. Like the days when they’re still together.

Minwoo too—after did his bow, still do his pray, much longer than Dongwan—always. Allowed Dongwan to steal a look at Minwoo. Saw Minwoo with his closed eyes and clasped hands, serious and sincere.

And when Minwoo opened his eyes, he still turned his head to Dongwan’s direction and smiled at him, then kneeling—took the bottle of Soju that he brought, and pour it over.

For a while, it felt like nothing has changed.

“Here, your turn.”

Dongwan took over the Soju, and pour it too. “Don’t drink too much Dad, you’re not getting younger even you’re in heaven.”

Chuckled, Minwoo draped his hand around Dongwan’s shoulder. Just made him closer, just strengthen him.

Silence filled them for a moment, and they let it. The fresh air, the birds sounds—the stillness but comforting feeling around them, were more than enough. They sat side by side on the mat, with their knees touched each other—like what they used to. 

When Minwoo met Dongwan, his Dad already left him a year before—and when his mom decided to moved back to their hometown a year later, every holiday—Minwoo would always be the one who accompanied Dongwan to visited his Dad.

He was there since the day, Dongwan would cried his eyes out till he become the man he’s now. But deep down, Minwoo knew, Dongwan always longing the days he and his Dad spent together.

“What did you tell him? It’s much longer since the last time.”

“Everything. Your good result, your internship, my scholarship and of course my dumb action,” Minwoo smiled bitterly, “I asked his forgiveness, I hope he forgive me.”

“I told him too before,” Dongwan looked into his Dad’s grave, “and asked him not to scold you.”

“Why?”

“Because—you must have the reason to did what you did to me, right?”

Dongwan whispered. Unsure with himself, suddenly. Back to his Mom’s hug was helping him a lot, but it would be entirely hypocritical of him to said he already forgive Minwoo or himself, or even fully knowing what the hell happened between them, because he didn’t. Not yet.

“I did mad at you that night, Wan.” Minwoo admitted quietly. “I just so mad at you, cause you’re always ready to help other without really thinking about yourself, you know right? I don’t really like that side of you.”

Dongwan nodded his head but stayed quiet.

“And the morning after, I read that email, I got the scholarship,” Minwoo frowned—it was a good news, but it was a starting point of the whole mess that he created. Not a pleasant memory. “I was happy, Wan. Almost running to your room, but—I stopped myself, because I was afraid. What if, I’d be the reason for you to sacrifices yourself for me. It just came to me, I promised myself to always here beside you, but I also want this opportunity. I was being selfish, and use you to justify my action towards you. I was bad person, right?”

Dongwan swallowed the lump inside his throat—he spend his days prepared to listening this, but it still not easy, not at all.

“I don’t even know you apply scholarship Min. And yet you’re the one who accompanied me when I applied to my internship. It hurts.”

Being honest. That’s what his Mom said to him, and that’s what Dongwan wanted between him and Minwoo right now.

“My professor was the one who did the application, he has the connection—yes, but I never thought I’d got it. So it just slipped out from my mind.” Minwoo heaved a sigh. “But no matter what, you’re right. I was being unfair.”

“It felt like, you don’t trust me.”

This was what has been bothering him a lot. Trust. They built their relationship from zero—from two teen guys being friend, best friend and then boy friend. For some or outsider, their stages of relationship may looked in rush. But no—Minwoo was there when Dongwan didn’t trust himself, asked Dongwan to trust him and made Dongwan to trust himself—again.

Yet. He didn’t do the same. Or looked like that.

“I always wanted to protect you, Wan. Before we met, Hyesung said he had a very cheerful friend and wanted me and Eric to met you. And yeah, you’re so cheerful, noisy, and clumsy too. I told Eric, you’re all over the place—not my style.” Minwoo smiled at the memories, for him it felt like happened just yesterday, “did you remember when we met on library the next day? you looked so different, serious with your book and the thing that you like, yet when I approached you, you’re being you the day before again, so talkative like we’re already friends since kids.”

Of course Dongwan remember. It was precious for him too.

“But I saw sadness in your eyes, and you tried so hard to hide it from everyone,” Minwoo eyeing Dongwan who still looked at the front stubbornly, “I asked Hyesung, and he told me about your Dad, his sudden passing hurt you a lot. And I just—I wanted to know your real smile, your real pain, everything. The real you.”

“He promised me to life long life, Min. He promised me would be the one who taught me how to drank Soju when I passed the age. He promised me would always be there on every my graduation. He promised me a lot—yet, he didn’t fulfill any of them.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Carefully, Minwoo rubbed Dongwan’s back. “I made promise too, right. Here, the first time I came. I said to your Dad, I’d take over his promise, to be the one who always stay beside you—no matter what.”

Minwoo sounded sad. But Dongwan not brave enough to turned his head. His heart broke a little with every words that Minwoo’s said. It was not easy for both of them.

“I love you so much, Wan. I know you’re not fragile, I trust you to always make me happy because you never failed it before, not even once. But that time, I didn’t trust myself. I need to broke my promise, so I choose what I thought an easy way. Walked away from your life. Junjin was right, I was being coward. I didn’t want to admit that I failed to protect my promise. But it costs us a lot.”

Exhaled deeply—Dongwan could taste the saltiness from his tears that streamed quietly on his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry. So sorry. I’ll begging for your forgiveness for the rest of my life if it needed, I don’t care. But please—don’t hate yourself. You did nothing wrong. I was happy when I’m with you, my happiest days were the days when we spent it together, I swore Wan. You’re my happiness.”

And without words, Dongwan just hugged Minwoo—put his head on Minwoo’s shoulder and sobbing quietly, circled his hands around Minwoo’s body and tighten his grip. Minwoo too, returned the hug. Kissed the top of Dongwan’s head over and over, smelled the vanilla shampoo that Dongwan used and he missed. 

At last, they found peace. They knew, it was temporary. But for now, it was enough.

.

.

After had lunch with Dongwan’s Mom—with Minwoo once again apologized and asked Dongwan’s mom to scolded him. They spent the rest of the days being glued to each other. Like what Dongwan requested—his last day on Korea was reserved for Kim Dongwan only.

Like the days when they spent their holidays here, they went to the market, bought Dongwan’s favourite snacks and Minwoo’s favourite local’s drink. Played around the stream behind Dongwan’s home—and splashed each other face with water like kids. Also ate the watermelon with milk and ice—Dongwan’s recipe. 

And when the night came, they sat quietly on Dongwan’s backyard. There was no moon, but the sky sparkling with a thousand brilliant stars. Cicadas around them, filled the silence between both of them.

“Be great there and make us proud, Min.”

Dongwan broke the silent, glanced at Minwoo then looked back at his own hands.

“Be happy too. That’s what matter the most.”

Minwoo was listening intently, so he nodded his head. He also gathered his courage, lifted his hand and caressed Dongwan’s face, put his thumb on Dongwan’s plumped lips and it softly.

“Dongwannie, do you mind if I kiss you?”

Dongwan was laughing with his eyes—amused at the sudden request and situation.

“You never asked for permission before.”

“You’re not mine anymore,” Minwoo answered with a gentle smiled, “and I took it for granted, never knew how much it meant before.”

Dongwan stayed on his place, quiet. So Minwoo leaned his body and face to be closer. Their lips brushed fast—and it surprised Dongwan a little, but then he returned the act. Soft, light—but comfortable.

Not in hurry. Not in full control or tried to dominate each other.

Maybe it was a good bye kiss or maybe not. But neither of them mind it. Their wounds were still raw, red and hurt. They need time—maybe years after today or for the rest of their life.

They have a limited time for now, so they just wanted to be happy. Smile a little longer, and be alright.

.

.

When the sun light creeped from the behind of his windows and wake him up—Dongwan just stared quietly at the empty spot beside him.

Minwoo was there. But not anymore—and it’d be for a long time.

Sighing, Dongwan tightening his grip on his blanket, wanted to cover his face and just spent this day to have a pity party with himself, when a folded paper came to his vision. 

Unsure, yet he stil opened it. Breathe in breathe out, sat himself up, tugged his knees to his chest, leaned on the wall, and—

Dongwannie,

 

I wrote this while you’re sleeping—and gosh! you look so cute. I also snapped some pictures, let me yeah? For the last time.

 

Well, I’m going now. If you’re still wake up early (like always) maybe right now I’m inside Eric’s car, on my way to Airport.

 

When November come, remind Hyesung about your present from me, and yes you deserve it, so please accept it. And when December come, I’m sorry—I won’t be there to hug you on the snowing days, or going with you to the ski resort, ask Junjin instead, okay? Please don’t go there alone.

 

On your Birthday, Chritsmas, or New Year. Please don’t drink too much. I won’t be there to pick you up, so don’t call my number like you used to, just replace my number with Sikyung’s, yeah? 

 

Go on with your life. Ace that internship, I’m sure they’ll offer you permanent position. You always like super-car, make that later and make yourself proud, deal? And I swear I’ll save my money to buy whatever you make!

 

Ah, I should’ve treated you better when you’re still mine and I’m here. I regret a lot of things—till the last time too, we were focusing so much on me, and I still made you cry. 

 

I’m sorry Wannie. I’ll carry this feeling till the rest of my life.

 

Please don’t be hurt, and eat well (Don’t ever skip meal! Ask Andy if you don’t want to eat alone). Please live well. Please be happy.

 

My heart never left you, Wan. I’m sure of it. But, if along the way you find your happiness that’s not me, it’s okay. Just go with him (or her). 

 

For me, as long as you’re happy, then I’m okay.

 

Thank you for everything, Kim Dongwan.

 

I love You.

-from the one who always be happy when he was with you-

He closed his eyes and sat with tears streaming down his face, clutched the papers tightly to his chest—tried to breathe in between his cries. 

“Wan,” a hushed voice followed by a hug startled him, “Sshh, it’s okay—we’re here.”

“Syung?”

“And me hyung.”

“Jinnie?”

He felt someone nodded his head on his left shoulder, and tighten their hugged around his body.

“Wh—what’re you—“

“Eric and Andy dropped us here, while they’re picking up Minwoo,” Hyesung whispered softly, “we still have time, are you sure you don’t want to go to the airport?”

Shook his head, Dongwan just whimpered a quiet no under his breathe.

“Okay hyung, okay. We’re here. You’re not alone.”

.

.

Airport was a strange place indeed. Some of them displayed their happiest face, ran into the arms of their beloved. While the others, hugged each other tightly—saying good bye with lot of tears. 

And here was Minwoo waiting his flight alone, sat on empty bench at his still closed gate, with a cup of hot Americano on his hand. Left his entire life behind—left his half of heart, to start something new in a foreign country.

Andy was the one who hugged him for a long time outside, while Eric just pets his head over and over, with a sad face that broke Minwoo’s heart a little, or a lot. But his heart already turned into pieces, anyway.

He put his hand to the pocket of his hoodie, when he found something inside, took it out—and saw a small folded paper, with a familiar hand-writting.

Hi,

 

It’s me, Dongwannie.

Looking at you help mom to cook, it’s funny—she likes you a lot, Minu. Not as much as me, of course, hehe.

 

Ah, you’ll leave tomorrow, huh? T.T

Thank you for granted my wish, I’m happy Minwoo. Very happy! 

And all the happiness that you gave me when we’re together, I treasured it a lot! For being the shoulder to lean on, a shelter to rest, and place to back—thank you so much! 

 

I was lacking a lot, yet you complete me, Minu. For that too, I thank you.

 

Don’t forget your meal, don’t injured yourself (ah, I won’t be there so please be careful!) don’t overwork! 

 

And, I’m so proud of you Lee Minwoo! 

 

Maybe you’ll comeback or not—but no matter what happens, please be okay. We will both be okay, promise me yeah? (and don’t break this promise :p)

 

Have a safe flight, Minu.

 

ps: please forgive yourself too, you deserve it.

pss: living without you was hard, but I’m okay and will be okay, don’t worry too much.

 

.

.

END.

Ahh, finally!! It was probably the hardest chapter that I wrote for this story, I typed and erased it over and over. And it kept getting longer too, so hopefully, it was a good ending.

I choose an open ending, because I think, that's what the best for both of them, I'm gonna be unfair to Dongwan if he just forgive Minwoo, right? :p and maybe, someday I'll write some bonus chapter about them or their squad hehe.

Thank you a lot to @seungchan-s @fifi21 @Babybandit92  and of course @missstery  to leave a good comments and supporting me and this story, and to everyone who read it too, thank you so much, it means a lot to me <3

See you on another update or maybe a new story ehe, please be safe and stay well!!