Infuriating as it is, Mina still cannot understand the fact that Chaeyoung keeps on saying no to her, even in just the simple things.

It went on for a whole month already ever since the younger girl got a high fever that made her apply for a leave from work to just rest in their apartment.

"Are you okay, Chae? Do you want me to cook some soup for you and buy you some medicine at the nearby pharmacy?"

"No. I'm okay, Mina. Don't worry about me."

The girl sighed and immediately puts the back of her hand on Chaeyoung's forehead and felt that it is still terribly hot.

"Do you want to go to the hospital, instead? It's been 2 days and your fever is still not going down. I'm really worried, you know?"

"Don't be. I can handle this."

"Are you sure? Just don't forget that I'm always here to take care of you, yeah?"

"Of course. You can go to work, for now. You'll be late, love"

"Alright, love. I'll be right back. There's some rice in the kitchen already. I hope you'll be fine when I got back home later. I love you."

The whole day passed quickly and Mina and Chaeyoung is already in their bedroom after eating dinner as Chaeyoung needs to rest right away.

"Would you like to share anything you're feeling right now?"

"No"

Chaeyoung straight up said with a soulless tone and Mina doesn't know if she will be angry or sad or disappointed or understand the current situation, but it surely made a tug in her heart because she totally did not sign up for that whole thing just to get a consecutive "no" from her girlfriend.

As much as it gets to her nerves, she still decided to just make her patience longer as the girl is currently sick and she needs attention, care, and love more than ever.

"Okay... I'm just here, Chaeng. I hope you'll feel better now. I love you."

She kissed her forehead before she pulled the blanket and hide her whole body from it, letting Chaeyoung face her back as she doesn't want her tears to start falling with such a shallow reason.

That's the first time Mina felt an ache in her heart when she said 'no' from her favorite person. And the second time it happened, it almost breaks her heart.

It's a casual Friday evening and Chaeyoung got back to normal, she supposes, as she got rid of high fever already and went back to work.

Usually, they either have a movie marathon or cooking sessions or playing legos or dancing in their living room during Friday evening as they do not have any work the next day and it's finally the weekend.

However, that night when Mina was about to put the vinyl in their turntable, Chaeyoung just rested on the couch and stare at their terrace and the blowing wind outside that makes the curtain swing with it.

The music then started playing. It's a romantic one that gradually wraps the whole atmosphere with red hearts and some mood for a red wine. It made Mina smiled sweetly and look at her girlfriend, no matter how she feels like she's suddenly not in the mood for anything.

She did not pull herself back and walked straight to her, not removing the sweet smile on her face and the sparks in her eyes, somehow trying to insist something to Chaeyoung.

"Are you okay, love?"

She doesn't even know why she often asks that repeated question that she thinks makes Chaeyoung annoyed with the question and with herself, as well. However, she cannot help it, something really shifted when she had a high fever and her aura and whole being suddenly became cold and reserved.

"Yeah."

Mina cleared first and acting like wiping her hands first before she offered her to Chaeyoung and asked something to the girl.

"Would you like to hold my hand and dance with me?"

She is clearly nervous when she asked that question, even if she doesn't even need to ask it anymore because Chaeyoung is usually the one who just suddenly grabs Mina in the middle of their living room once she settled with their turntable already and they will dance the night away together with some romantic song and their giggles surrounding the whole atmosphere.

That night, however, it's only the romantic song and Mina's sweet smile—nothing else.

"No"

And there she was again. It totally gave another pain in her heart that she feels like it's breaking already because how come a one word, one syllable, two letters can hurt her already? She tried to stop her tears once again and gently get Chaeyoung's hand and put it in her waist.

"I miss you, Chaeyoung"

She did not wait for a response anymore, instead, she just buried her face in Chaeyoung's neck while both her arms are in Chaeyoung's shoulder. She closed her eyes and feel everything in her surroundings, wanting it to be stored in her memories. It's still painful.

The third time it happened, they were currently at the beach as they were supposed to hang out with their friends, but all of them cancelled their trip at the last minute where they are all set and prepared to go to their destination that made them end up in an island that is a 3 hours car drive away from the city.

They think it's still a win-win situation for them because their friends already paid a down payment for their accommodation and they do not need to worry about anything anymore, just the fuel for their car.

It was almost sunset when they arrived at their destination and it is obvious in Mina's eyes that she is amazed with the view that reflects in her eyes and that explains the big 'O' in , literally in awe.

"It's really amazing here"

They stayed at the, they guesses, parking lot for a while as they watch the sunset unfolding right in front of their very eyes and just cherish that moment they never know when they can go back and experience again.

Once they were settled and satisfied the amount of amusing experience they had with the wonderful sunset and the magnificent blue sea, they went to their hotel room and changed their clothes. They ate their dinner together right after just beside the lobby and decided to go at the seashore to spend the night before going to sleep and face a lot of water activities the next day.

The sea waves are calming and the sea breeze is just right for it does not give some shivers in their skin. It's a serene night and Mina is totally loving every piece of it, adding the fact that the bright moon is on their sight accompanied by a bunch of stars. It made her smile.

"Would you like to kiss me under the moonlight and the sea of stars above us?"

It's sudden that sounded like a casual question, more like her demands something from her girlfriend that made her chuckle at herself because she didn't even experience being a hard-to-get kind of girl. However, she thinks she doesn't have any reasons to be that kind of girl when a Son Chaeyoung was literally the one who asked her to be her girlfriend, who she is to say no to her, right?

It's probably the reason and the drive she had for her to just casually ask that kind of question.

"No."

It was supposed to be a relaxing day for the both of them, but Mina suddenly felt uncomfortable, heavy that it made her erase everything she has been thinking about that romantic night and feel like just crying all night. She totally hates that feeling, she totally hate the feeling that Chaeyoung is currently making her feel. It's unfamiliar and sad and painful and she doesn't want to take any piece of it, doesn't want to feel any of it ever again.

The fourth time it happened, they were just staying in their apartment because Chaeyoung got a high fever again and Mina doesn't want to risk in letting her go to work, so she let the girl stay in their apartment and just rest.

She thinks that her girlfriend works too hard that makes her sick, also thinking it can be with the changing of weather that affects the girl's health.

She cannot help, but feel worried because she doesn't get just a normal fever when she gets sick, but always a high fever that totally changes her mood, and that is why she tries to be understanding and acceptable of anything, as much as possible. Though, it may seem like she's overreacting, but she hopes, she really hopes that nothing bad will happen to the both of them, to her.

When they just finished eating dinner and Mina immediately went to wash the dishes and dry them as well, she went to their bedroom right away to check if the girl's temperature went down, as if she's a Mom who is afraid of her child's fever.

It's still the same temperature she had for almost 12 hours already, no matter how the girl just keep on sleeping and resting, and Mina not letting her watch the television or touch her phone because of radiation that can cause a headache and can affect her fever.

They were comfortably just lying on their bed side by side and staring at the ceiling, hugging the not-so-comfortable silence in the atmosphere when Mina suddenly asked her girlfriend something.

"Would you like to just cuddle the whole night while I sing you some lullabies?"

Mina stares at her girlfriend while the latter is just staring blankly at their ceiling.

"No"

It's the same soulless tone with the one syllable, one word, two letters answer and Mina doesn't know what to do anymore.

Chaeyoung just keeps on saying no to her and she doesn't know what she will still do just so she can have the girl's yes in almost anything she asks her.

She still decided to become the understanding girlfriend as she can be. Respecting the girl's personal space and maybe it can also be the fastest way so she can eventually let out from being sick because it's been three days and there's still no improvement.

That night, she slept with a heavy heart.

The fifth time it happened, Mina was so exhausted with work that she just wanted a month long break because her supervisors just keeps on being a pest in her life by giving her a bunch of workload when it's not even part of her position in work anymore.

She was so tired and stress from work that she just wanted a warm, comfortable hug from her favorite person.

When she went back to their apartment, she saw Chaeyoung already preparing their dinner and guessed that the latter went out from work early like she usually does.

"Hey, welcome home. Tired?"

The younger put the utensils down the table and went to Mina's direction right after she put her shoes on the rack.

"Yeah. Hug, please"

Chaeyoung, thankfully, was in the mood to be sweet to her girlfriend and gave her the warmest hug she could ever give to Mina that it made the latter melt in her arms.

It is the only thing she needs to calm down and let go of stressful thoughts. Her hug totally removes all the pain, tiredness away from her system and she is very grateful for it.

When they decided to just stay in their living room and let the television play some historical Korean drama after they ate their dinner as they cuddle that Mina truly miss the most, she asked her girlfriend yet again another question that she hopes she can get a yes this time.

"Would you like to travel the whole world and escape reality with me?"

Mina glanced at her girlfriend who is currently lying at her lap as she brushes her hair. The latter's eyes are focused on the television while playing with Mina's free hand.

"No"

The older was so close to lightly hit her girlfriend because she keeps on saying no to her and it made her heart heavy once again.

For Pete's sake, she just wants to relax for a while and the first thing she thought of was to be with her girlfriend yet the latter seems like she's not interested with her anymore.

The sixth time it happened, Mina just wanted to burst into tears and break down and ask what is wrong with her, if Chaeyoung still loves her and such because it made her doubt in herself and in their relationship.

It was a lovely night and they decided to eat dinner outside at their favorite restaurant overlooking the whole city and they can have the whole rooftop by themselves because they are already close to the owner.

Both their day was great so far and there's nothing stressful that happened to the both of them that gave them the reason not to be sad or exhausted in their dinner.

The view was a breathtaking one, almost feel like they are in some kind of mountain and there's a restaurant built atop of it because the city lights are just so beautiful to look at and the mood of the night is just calming, adding the fact that it was Friday and they have something to celebrate for because it's the weekend and they do not need to go to work in the next 2 days.

It's the short break Mina needs as she thinks of calming, sweet things to ease her nervousness.

She doesn't even know where the idea came from—all she knows is that she has all the love she wants to give to the only person she wants to keep on seeing in her everyday life.

She kept thinking about it for about 4 months already and came to a conclusion that 5 years is not enough, so she decided to give her a lifetime.

While thinking about that, she cannot help, but smile to herself because it just feels so nice to be in love and feel so loved by the person she only wants to have in her whole life.

The atmosphere suddenly became serious when Mina cleared and reached for Chaeyoung's hand.

She's not asking the million-dollar question yet, but her other hand in her pocket is already shaking.

"Chaeyoung"

"Yeah?"

"I have a question, can you please say yes?"

"Depends on what your question is all about. Tell, me love."

The fact that Chaeyoung did not straight up said 'okay' or just 'yes' gives Mina some anxiety. However, it can still be worth a shot (she knows everything is worth it when it comes to Chaeyoung) so she still went on with her plan.

"Chaeyoung, would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?"

She asked sweetly with her voice so soothing and a warm smile on her face. She was about to get the velvet box from her pocket when Chaeyoung said her answer without any second thoughts.

"No. Sorry, Mina."

The world stopped moving for a while for Mina. It suddenly became dark and blurry that Mina suddenly felt she's alone and unwanted.

She swears it's the most painful 'no' she got from Chaeyoung, in her whole life because she already see her future with the girl, she can already see a lot more of better days because she's with the girl she loves, but it breaks her heart knowing that the girl doesn't want that kind of future, seems like she doesn't want to be with her anymore.

And what hurts her the most? Seeing Chaeyoung's eyes, saying the opposite, opposing what she just said, because Mina truly knows what Chaeyoung's heart wants.

She wants to know the reason why, but the girl already left her there, alone and shedding tears.

It's not a lovely night after all.

Those were the six times Chaeyoung keeps on saying 'no' to Mina that almost made the latter insane because it's just too painful her heart keeps on aching.

She thinks of giving up in those six times, but she thought of one last question and she wants a genuine question for Chaeyoung.

When they were settled with their emotions and have to meet in a hospital room because Chaeyoung got a high fever again and this time, it's dangerous and a serious case, Mina doesn't have any second thoughts, but to be with her girlfriend and take care of her.

It was also the time of confrontation, of telling of truths, and not turning back to anything. Just pure honesty from the bottom of their hearts.

"Chae?"

Chaeyoung just hums as holds tight to Mina's hand.

"Can you tell the reason why you keep saying no to me?"

The younger gave her a serious look and the sadness reflects in her eyes. Mina doesn't care if she will burst into tears after that conversation, all she wants is the truth and nothing but the truth. They both deserve it, after all.

"Thank you for your deep understanding, warm love, and tender loving care, Mina. Really, I appreciate it all and God knows how I love you so much that I immediately regrets that I have to say no to you."

"Tell me, Chaeyoung"

"I keep on saying no because of this pain, of this whole condition. I don't like to share anything I'm feeling because I don't want to burden you anymore and cause you much more pain than I'm currently giving you. I don't want to hold your hand and dance with you I can't promise to keep on holding your hand until the end. I don't want to kiss you under the moonlight and the sea of stars above us because I don't want you to reminisce something that will cause you pain in the future. I don't want to just cuddle the whole night and do anything we want because I hate the fact that I'm leaving you any sooner without giving you the time, support, appreciation and love you need. I don't like to travel the whole world and escape reality with you because I can't be with you anymore. Even if I really want to spend the rest of my life with you, I had to say no because I can't stay with you any longer. "

It feels like a whole essay has been memorized by Chaeyoung that never fail to give Mina an extreme pain in her heart and in her whole being. While listening to her girlfriend's answer, she keeps on tearing up no matter how she stops herself from sobbing. She cannot help it, she cannot stop the pain she is feeling because seeing her girlfriend lying in front of her with a serious condition is already a different kind of pain, and the things she just said, adding a lot more pain in her system and she thinks she will go numb after that conversation.

"I'm sorry, Mina. I'm sorry I'm just telling you these things just now. I'm sorry I have to keep on saying no to you because it's the only answer I could think of that would be the best for us. I'm sorry I can't be with you any longer, love. I'm sorry I can't stay."

Mina shushed Chaeyoung who is already crying with her and assured her that she's okay, she will be okay in no time.

"There's no need for you to be sorry, Chaeyoung. I understand, I truly understand. I still love you no matter what happens. You have me, you always have me. Hmm? It's not your fault. I will be with you no matter what."

"I love you, Mina. I really do. Until the end"

When the sad atmosphere gradually went down, Mina gathered all her courage just to ask the final question she thought of.

"Chaeyoung, I have another question. Could you please say no?"

"What is it?"

"Would you like to take a break now and let go of everything, for good?"

Please say no, Mina whispers to herself.

Selfish as she may seem, it's the only no she will accept from Chaeyoung because the pain she is currently feeling is too much to handle and she feels like dying from that extreme pain already.

"Yes"

It's the first time for a long time that Mina heard Chaeyoung said 'yes' to her and she, personally, totally just want to cry and scream and ask the Gods above 'WHY'.

It's not the answer she is expecting from the girl, it's not the time Chaeyoung should say yes, because it means she doesn't want to continue anymore, she wanted to put a period in everything already and Mina doesn't want that, Mina doesn't want everything about that.

Mina was a crying mess once again because Chaeyoung's tone when she said was a relieved one, as if it's the question she has been waiting for from Mina that she is glad to say yes because she already gave the reasons, already explained herself and doesn't want to prolong the agony, the pain, and the longing.

Six times Chaeyoung said no to her, Mina was so stressed, sad, and regretful. And that one time she eventually said yes to Mina, it still made her feel all of those things, but on a more serious note as she cannot handle the pain anymore, as she let herself be eaten by it, she let her whole being be eaten by the pain.

When she felt how Chaeyoung slowly loose the way she holds her hand, it brings another batch of tears for Mina, moreover when she glanced at Chaeyoung who is smiling and already close to closing her eyes, as if it's for good.

"Thank you for everything. I love you, Mina."

Mina holds the now cold hands of Chaeyoung, putting it close to her heart as her tears fall nonstop. She keeps on saying 'no', that it's just a dream, and there will still be a lot more of positive questions she could ask and she can finally hear Chaeyoung say yes again.

But no, fate is not siding with her because no matter how she tries to revive her, she had already stopped breathing and Mina can no longer receive another yes from Chaeyoung.