Someone Like You

It's been a minute since we met
But I still think you're out of my league
I could never understand how
Someone like you would love
Somebody like me

It feels like I’m dreaming. It doesn’t make sense at all. I keep running around all this time, but it just takes that seconds for me to discover my deepest emotions for you. Feels like I’m floating; gravity seems to fail me, and I keep thinking I might be building castle in the air.

Yet it is true. Love finds me. In the easiest way possible. With just emails; coming back and forth; waiting daily; impatiently by the phone. If I’m dreaming, please don’t wake me up. If this is just how I should feel for you, I will want to do this forever.

Can I keep you?

I don't know why you put me first
Introduced me to my worth
Showed me how to love myself
Make me feel like there's nobody else
You say its all a part of love
That we don't ever need to rush
See it's supposed to be easy and I know that
I'll always be keeping you close

Love used to scare me. I used to run away from it. I got exhausted keeping up conversations and I would just drop it like it did not matter at all in the first place. Friends used to tell me. I could probably lose all the opportunities that I should have taken advantage of.

Honestly, I find myself unworthy. Love hurts me. Love breaks me. I used to hate to even look at myself in the mirror. I would ask, “who the hell is that in my mirror’s reflection?” Broken and completely lost faith in this emotion called love.

I used to find it tiring. I thought friends would be a better choice. I was resigned to my fate of being all alone in this world. And it is not sad or pitiful.

I was just protecting my heart from breaking again.

But not this time. Not anymore.

You make me feel.  And I continue to search for it.

So, will you stay with me?

I'm feeling like I'm always dreaming
I don't know how you're just my type
Do what you're doing I can't get enough
I'll try to measure up

I was afraid to let it show. Each time I received your email, I would sit down and think. Think really hard if I should or should not. If I should follow this feeling? Or should I just ignore it totally? Should I just be nonchalant or just shrug this crazy feeling inside?

After some time, I become like a little child; waiting anticipatedly for his mom to return home after work. You just turned me into this needy, big kid who wants your attention even if it was just from an email.

So, it got worse when you suddenly did not reply to my email. I thought I made a mistake. I thought I could have offended you. Did I show you too much? Was I too eager? Maybe you found me pushy, and you did not like it.

101 questions went through my mind and after some time, when you did not reply at all, I became helpless. In fact, the moment I started chatting with you, I deleted the dating app. I could not even remember my ID and password anymore since the day you started emailing me.

I became lifeless. I started to sink into my own loneliness, and I kept staring blankly. And then I was convinced.

Maybe love is never meant for me.

It's been a minute since we met
But I still think you're out of my league
I could never understand how
Someone like you would love
Somebody like me

I don't wanna leave this bed
My heart is beating out my chest
Something I never asked for
You give it all you give more

Surprise, surprise. You took the initiative to text me. I was taken off guard when I saw your text on my WhatsApp. Pardon me, I thought you were just another scammer, you know that was possible. All the thoughts running across my mind and I’ll never lie. I had that thought in my weakest moment.

But when you texted me and asked me what have I been doing and why didn’t I reply your emails, I was stunned. I swear! I did not receive any emails from you. You even thought I blocked you. I felt upset by the way. I was a little disappointed that you would think that way, but hey I could never blame you at all.

Internet’s a . Everyone was pretending to be someone else; scamming people out of their feelings, emotions and even money.

But, no. You came back for me. You took all efforts to track me down. You came looking for me. Yeah, you probably were mad at me for thinking that I blocked you or ignored you. However, the thought of you, wanting to find me and seek for reasons why our communication just stopped; that was impressive.

Whatever emotions I felt before; the final bit of affection that I shrugged aside for that second came rushing back. Then it struck me.

Am I? Am I really falling for someone like you?

But the question keeps burning in my heart.

How someone like you like someone like me? Is that even possible?

Can someone like me, like someone like you?

I'm feeling like I'm always dreaming
I don't know how you're just my type
Do what you're doing I can't get enough
I'll try to measure up

Days went by and we just continued where we left off. Our questions got even personal; asking each other likes and dislikes. What we enjoy doing; family; friends; even sharing our deepest concerns and everything we could share with each other.

We get to know each other more. That forgotten emotion rushed into my heart. I felt warm for the first time. I thought I have lost it. I thought I could never fall in love again. But it happened and it feels so magical.

I got a little braver and then I asked you.

“Is it too early to let you know my feelings?”

I was sweating bullets and I regretted sending that email out. What if you don’t feel the same way? What if you think I’m being too much? Or being too easy? Or I’m being desperate?

Geez, I wanted to kill myself.

But then you replied. My heart almost fell out of the socket. I swear I never felt so nervous before.

“No, it’s never too late. I feel the same way too.”

You took my heart and I was willing to die in your place.

It's been a minute since we met
But I still think you're out of my league
I could never understand how
Someone like you would love
Somebody like me

Love. It’s easy. I forget how simple it can be. I don’t need anything else. Just you. Just you and your heart; your soul and everything that you can offer, I’ll take. Even if you have a knife right now and stab in my heart, I think I’ll just willingly let you.

You become my everything. You shine as my sun in the sky and you are my light when darkness falls. I can only see you. I think if I have gone blind, I will still see you.

I have nothing else to offer but my heart. My love and my attention. If you ask me to sing, I would. If you need a listening ear, I’ll listen to everything you need to say. If you need someone to hold, I’ll reach out my hand and grab yours. I’ll let the spaces between my fingers overlap yours and I’ll protect you with whatever I have.

I just need to tell you. I need to show you.

Someone like me, wants to love someone like you.

You could be with someone else
But you still wanna follow my lead
I could never understand how
Someone like you would love
Somebody like me

Today, today would be day that I need you to fully understand me. I’m getting greedy. I want more than just email. I want to hear your voice, I want to talk to you, I want to be able to dial your number and hear your voice saying “hello” at the other end.

I want to text you whenever I feel like it. I will behave like a child and annoy you over the phone and over the messages. I’ll go to you when you feel down. I’ll let you hit me if you need to vent your anger. I wish I could hold you while you read your notes. I wish I can poke your cheeks and irritate you and then you will turn around and hit me with your thick notes.

I’ll then smile gleefully and give you the cheekiest grin. I’ll then lean closer and kiss you. Just a soft peck on your cheek before I whisper I love you.

So, let me ask you one more time.

Can someone like me have all these moments mentioned above with someone like you?

-

“What are you doing?”

I was awakened by the sudden intrusion. I looked over my shoulder. She raised her left eye-brow.

“Nothing!”

I closed my diary immediately and hid it under my pillow. She kept staring at me; before her frown was replaced with the most beautiful smile that I can never get tired of. Her dimple was perfect.

“Are you reading our old story again?”

“What do you mean by old story?”

“Ok, our love story.”

She grinned widely before she scooted closer towards me. Her arms reached out for my waist and she was hugging it tightly. She placed her head on my lap; my heart exploded with emotions when I saw her shining eyes.

Her beautiful eyes – her deep dimple; her perfection and her sweetness; honestly, I could never get enough. I leaned closer and kissed her forehead. My lips stayed for a while longer before I planted soft kisses on her nose; her cheeks and lastly, her lips.

Soft. Sweet. Perfect. Mine. She’s all mine now.

“What did you do to me?”

I whispered softly. She smiled.

“I did nothing. I just wrote you an email.”

“But how? How did you end up clicking on my profile on the dating app? I don’t think I have an impressive profile or introduction.”

“I don’t know. I was just browsing through and I spotted your profile. Your introduction was simple, but I felt so much sincerity in that. You wanted to know more friends. I wanted to know more people too. I thought why not?”

“And you asked for my email?”

“Yeah, I know. It was weird. Usually, people asked for phone number. I just wanted to be casual at first, you know, be email buddies or something.”

Her honest reply moved me. I never thought anyone would ask for my email. But I gave to her when she asked me for the first time. Yeah, it was weird, but it was like a cutely weird kind of feeling. I just wanted to have friends.

But how does a simple email lead to many things? And the most importantly, how it led us to love. I still remember the first time she called me, (she promised she would, but it just lasted for like what, 2 minutes?) but it was good enough.

She was nervous, I could tell. She called my name.

-

“Byulie?”

“Hey.”

“Um, I promised I’d call.”

“Yeah, it’s a pleasant surprise.”

I waited for her call until I fell asleep. I was like a lovefool, waiting by the phone. I wasn’t too sure if she would call but yeah, I just took the gamble.  If the call never came, then I’d just tell myself maybe it was too early to do so.

But hell, she called. She really called. And I almost kicked myself for falling asleep. Lucky thing, she called me back when I texted her.

“Sorry, I disturb your sleep.”

“Er, no. I just love to sleep a lot.”

She giggled softly. Her voice was just exactly what I had imagined.

“Wheein ah.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for calling. I really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, but I need to go now. I just called because I promised I would.”

After the 2-minute call, I immediately opened up my email. I sent her a long email. I had to tell her how I felt and what the call did to me. She was more responsive over the email; more expressive. She got out of her comfort zone just to call me because of a promise.

Your voice warms my heart.

She replied.

I was so nervous that I couldn’t think of anything to say. I heard your voice, and it made my stomach filled with butterflies. And now I cannot forget how you sound now. I’m gonna miss you even more.

You were not the only one. I almost cried when I missed your call. But now, all I could think of you is your voice.

-

She was fast asleep. We spent our time lying in bed; snuggled and I tucked her under my chin. She buried her face in my chest and as soon as I heard her soft breathing, my heart swelled. I watched her as her eyes fluttered, a soft smile on her lips. She was probably dreaming of something sweet; something nice. I hope she was dreaming of me.

She’s my someone. I’m her someone. I was out of her league. I can assure you that. But she came into my life without warning; took me out of my depression and loneliness. She took my heart and held me close in her world.

I could take cover in her world forever. I can love this girl for the rest of my life. I want to marry her. I want to give her everything that I could.

“I love you, Jung Wheein.”

I whispered softly; with my sincerest heart; my deepest emotion. I could cry easily; I’m so scared that she’d leave.

But she did not.

Because she once said to me.

“Someone like you can love someone like me. Someone like me need someone like you. So, be my someone and I’ll be your someone. I want to love you. That’s all I’m asking.”

I cannot ignore that.

Because someone like me wants someone like you, forever and ever.

-