Waking up for school was a pretty easy task for you, oddly enough. You’d spend an extra hour every morning getting ready (mainly because you had a crush on a certain someone and slightly wanted to impress said crush) but once you had actually made it to school and started the classes, your willpower to keep the energy and stay awake slowly faded a bit. 

For the classes you enjoyed, you had the focus and didn’t feel much tired but for the classes you didn’t like… poof, all energy gone. The grades you got in school were great, for the most part. An honor roll student so teachers weren’t ever hard on you but in a few subjects, your grades took a hit. Luckily your other high grades were always able to pull your overall average up, bringing you right at the 90% mark but math and science were just impossible for you to get high grades in.

Especially math class; where snoozing away came to you a lot of the time. When it came to this class and hearing the teacher’s confusing lectures, you just wanted to shut off. No matter what, it just wouldn’t click for you even with extra help classes.

What also didn’t help was the fact that your crush just had to be seated right next to you. 

———

Jeon Jungkook, one of the most popular guys in the school and your crush since middle school. Many girls had a crush on him once he started high school. Every year, he kept glowing up and changing in good ways. You both were juniors in high school now and shared several classes together throughout middle and high school. Somehow Jungkook was always seated near you which you were thankful of secretly, although you became a frozen mess around him once high school started.

In middle school, you two were teasing each other quite a bit. Back then, Jungkook wasn’t as popular as he is now and you were more outgoing. He would bully you slightly but not in the mean way, just in a dorky or playful way. Some days you two would be chasing each other in the halls, literally. Both of you being fast runners and somewhat competitive. He played a few harmless pranks on you because he loved your reactions. Expressive was a good word to describe you as your face couldn’t hide emotions well. It was so easy for you to develop a crush on him. The attention he gave you only had you wanting more which is why you would back sometimes. It wasn’t just that; there was more to it. He was an extremely kind person despite his teasing. Jungkook was a softie deep down and that sold the deal for you, making your crush last for a few years now.

Jungkook was actually extremely shy around girls in middle school unless they were a good friend or connected to his friends. Which is why your foolish mind in middle school thought that maybe, the feelings were reciprocated. You were the one girl he just wasn’t shy with, at all. There was never a reason given as to why. He showed you the goofy side of him that he usually only showed his male friends.

He had a group of six close male friends, all older than him and perhaps two female friends? Not including you. You two never actually called each other friends. You were however, a decent friend of one of his older friends named Min Yoongi. 

Both you and Yoongi had shared some similar interests although Yoongi was three years older than you. He was like a big brother to you in some ways and a very chill person. Yoongi didn’t like loudness much and as you grew up, you found yourself becoming the same. Preferring crowd-less environments with just music and naps. In middle school, you were loud and shy. Shy to complete strangers and loud with everybody else but the summer before high school, you changed. Not knowing why but you started developing anxiety and depression. You didn’t have the greatest home life but things just hit you out of the blue before high school came. 

Your friendship with Yoongi was still strong because Yoongi could relate to it. Having struggles himself; this is where his ‘big brother’ moments came in because he was always willing to give some advice on it or have you just letting it out to him while he silently listened; which you appreciated.

You had never interacted with Jungkook or his friends (except for Yoongi and Kim Namjoon a few times) outside of school. The summer before the first year of high school started, you spent completely alone only texting with Yoongi and a close female friend of yours.

It was odd how you and Jungkook never officially became friends, seeing as one of his close friends was your close friend too but it just didn’t happen. School was the only time you saw him and interacted with him. You were sure that if maybe, he did have a crush back during 8th grade, it was long gone once that summer after hit. 

Happiness just didn’t seem to be around you anymore. Explaining it was hard for you but you just felt off. Your style had changed to grunge-like during freshman year. Everybody that knew you was shocked because you went from ‘preppy’ to ‘emo’ in looks. Maybe it was just, as parents would call it ‘a teenage phase’ which made your eyes roll. 

———

Once this junior year started, you slowly got out of your funk. Your style had changed from ‘grunge-like’ to ‘cool’ as others said. You had a slightly feminine but very unique type of style that you wouldn’t consider as ‘preppy.’ You tried not to let problems from home bother you. You took a care in your appearance, school grades and friendships. You made sure not to be sulking alone in the summers again and actually went to hang out with your female friends and sometimes Yoongi with his friend Namjoon. However, the anxiety and depression didn’t change much. You were prone to panic attacks sometimes and you were not the same outgoing girl from middle school. You were okay around your friends but very quiet and polite everywhere else. Random social situations usually made you freeze up at times. 

Especially around Jungkook. Your crush had never faded, only grew stronger even with the few lonely summers. 

Once you both started high school, the playful teasing and all had bluntly stopped. You two were distant and he changed, no longer being extremely shy around girls but also not being super playful like a rowdy kid. In a sense, he matured a bit (he had his serious moments) and also had that teenage guy playfulness that only came out with friends. 

He was still extremely nice though. Always willing to lend someone a hand and honestly? He just never lost that big heart of his. You swear his soft heart only got bigger which was why you couldn’t get over him. Since his shyness was also basically gone, he just had more kindness to show to people now. 

Of course, a lot of girls just cared about his looks. Puberty definitely hit him the hardest out of anybody. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t attracted to him. You were completely attracted to his looks but it was his personality you fell for first and it will always keep you hanging onto your feelings for him.

You had hoped your hopeless crush would go away but being seated next to him in math class made sure that didn’t happen. You two didn’t talk very much at all but he was so polite to you. Despite a distant type of feeling between you two, he had great manners and showed them. 

You’d scoff at your 8th grade self for thinking he ever had a crush on you back then. Now you thought that maybe he just saw you as ‘one of the bros’ as you weren’t very feminine at those times. Middle school days, you had a preppy style but your personality? Definitely a tomboy and you were okay with it. Now you felt ‘basic’ however. The once energetic girl who wasn’t scared of things and always up for a weird and crazy adventure became scared of everything. It wasn’t your fault which you couldn’t realize well. Anxiety changed you. Depression changed you and it just happens to people beyond their control. Regardless, you felt like a weak and fragile flower. You cared a lot about how you looked to the point of wanting to impress Jungkook even if you thought he wouldn’t never like you back. It felt weird to you since you cared more about personality in others but for yourself? Slight perfectionist type. A walking contradiction is what you felt like. Those are the teenage years though.

———

Math class had begun and you walked to your seat noticing Jungkook already seated in his chair and desk next to yours. Almost the whole class was in now. Usually you’d come earlier but you dreaded math so much.

Butterflies making themselves present in your tummy now as you sat down and Jungkook gave you a quick nod and a small smile. You gulped, feeling an imaginary lump in your throat and gave a slightly awkward smile back. Later you’d probably smack yourself mentally for being so rigid around him. 

Jungkook, just like you, hated math very much. You slowly found that out being seated so close next to him. Why the teacher put the two students who at math next to each other? You both will never know. 

Jungkook tends to nap a bit during math class. Another thing you both had in common. Today you could tell he was tired because his eyes weren’t wide open and he kept leaning his head onto the desk. A few yawns escaped his mouth and you know what they say, ‘yawning is contagious.’ 

A yawn had come out of your mouth too and you felt the struggle of staying awake especially with the energy depleting; only ten minutes into this hour long math class.

Usually what would happen is that only one of you would nap a little and the other would stay awake. You and Jungkook never fell asleep in class at the same time but looks like that would change today.

The math teacher rarely cared