Seulgi has never seen anyone this beautiful.

Seulgi met her through a mutual friend, Jennie. Jennie was her classmate. And she was Jennie’s tutor, a senior in their high school. She was so beautiful—breathtakingly, achingly beautiful. Seulgi had seen her for only a few minutes, though. She came to tell Jennie that their study session for that day had to be canceled for some reason Seulgi did not remember. She almost blushed when the senior glanced her way. No words had been exchanged between her and the pretty senior. Seulgi had never been one to start a conversation. So, despite how beautiful the senior was, Seulgi didn’t even dare to talk to her, let alone stare at her.

Later on, Seulgi learned the name of the pretty senior.

Bae Joohyun.

She smiled.

Even her name is pretty.

It was impossible to miss such a pretty face. After their first encounter, Seulgi kept seeing Joohyun everywhere. Seulgi wanted to believe that it was fate, but maybe it wasn’t. Given Joohyun’s position as a president of the student council, it was not strange to see Joohyun a lot.

Seulgi neither dared to greet Joohyun nor look at her face. Whenever she happened to walk past Joohyun, Seulgi would either look down or look in another direction.

It has been almost three months yet Seulgi still does not know how to deal with her little crush on her senior. Maybe she should greet the school’s president. Getting to know Joohyun doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Everyone in the school always talks about how nice and polite their school president is. Maybe they could be friends.

“Are you Jennie’s classmate?”

Seulgi almost chokes on her food when Joohyun suddenly sits in front of her. It is a Wednesday afternoon which means she has one hour for a lunch break before her next class starts. Jennie was just here before she left for the bathroom a few minutes ago.

“Y…Yes.”

Seulgi does not know how to react. She wants to give a good first impression to Joohyun but her action shows otherwise.

“Great. She invited me to have lunch together.”

Seulgi looks down, doesn’t know how to face such a beauty in front of her.

“She just went to the bathroom. She will be back soon.”

Joohyun flashes back such a bright smile. So bright that Seulgi thinks it could blind her eyes. They do not talk anymore after that. Seulgi slowly starts eating her lunch again when she is sure Joohyun has nothing else to question. Not once that she lifts her head up to look at the school’s president.

The air between them is too awkward for Seulgi. She feels as if her appetite is lost, but the fried dumplings look way too delicious to be thrown away. She wonders whether she should excuse herself to eat somewhere else so she could enjoy her eating time peacefully. On the other hand, it is such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her to have Joohyun sitting at the same table as her. Shouldn’t she start the conversation to get to know the senior better? But what if she makes a fool out of herself? Then Joohyun would think she is lame and does not want to talk to her. If this really happens, her plan to get to know Joohyun would fail. However, what if—

“You are thinking way too loud.”

“Huh?”

It is unexpected. When Seulgi lifts her head to look at the girl in front of her, Joohyun is already looking at her. Seulgi isn’t sure there is the adoration that she sees in Joohyun’s eyes. It is too quick and Seulgi is too panic to pay any attention to it.

“You were frowning.”

Joohyun has this gentle smile on her lips, fingers playing with her own black hair. Seulgi notices how healthy her senior’s hair is.

“Now you are doing it again.”

Seulgi has a clueless expression on her face. She does not know how it looks it, but she is sure it is kind of hilarious. Because if it isn’t, why does Joohyun start giggling?

“I am sorry, sunbae-nim.”

Joohyun waves her hand, gesturing that it is not a big deal.

“It is okay. What were you thinking?”

The question is easy. Seulgi should be able to answer it just easily. Yet she begins to think again.

Should she tell Joohyun the truth that she was thinking of a way to start a conversation with Joohyun? Should she lie? But it won’t hurt, to tell the truth, right? Joohyun looks like a pretty chill type. Wait, what if she freaks Joohyun out? She should think more about what to say—a proper sentence.

“You are doing it again, Seulgi.”

The girl in her brown hair raises her eyebrows in surprise when the senior acknowledges her name.

“Sunbae, you know my name.”

Joohyun smiles again—so easy, so beautiful.

“Of course. Jennie talked about you a lot.”

Seulgi hoped the girl would say something cool about her. She wouldn’t want Joohyun to have a bad pre-information about her.

“I see. Do you want to try my dumpling, sunbae? It is so good.”

Seulgi does not know where she gets this courage to ask the question, even adds a small bashful smile after. The senior smiles even bigger before she nods her head.

“It really does look good. I would like to try.”

Seulgi nods her head once again, handing her chopsticks to the raven. She is hesitating whether it is proper to give her used chopsticks to the older. However, Joohyun is quick enough to take the chopsticks, saving Seulgi from having another battle with her own thoughts. The senior takes the dumpling and eats it. Seulgi waits to see Joohyun’s reaction after and she isn’t disappointed.

“This is so good! Can I try one more?”

Seulgi agrees just as enthusiastically. Watching Joohyun eat makes her feel full already.

“You can have it all, sunbae. I am full already.”

Seulgi speaks to the older girl who seems to enjoy the dumpling so much. There are sparks in both of Joohyun eyes that Seulgi couldn’t help but notice. Even when she is just doing nothing, Joohyun is gorgeous.

“I haven’t really eaten anything yet so I wouldn’t say no to this offer.”

Seulgi just smiles and keeps watching Joohyun eat. Her heart has never felt this relaxed for a long time now. Before she even notices, Joohyun finishes all the dumplings. Seulgi grins cheekily at the senior as soon as she looks at her.

“Thank you for the food.”

Joohyun exclaims.

“It is nothing, sunbae.”

The bell rings and it is time for them to go back to their respective classes. Seulgi frowns when she notices that there is still no sign of Jennie.

“I will go check on Jennie now, sunbae. It is nice to meet you.”

Seulgi does not want to leave but she has to. Meanwhile, Joohyun gives Seulgi such a lovely smile that Seulgi’s breath hitches for a second.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Seulgi. And thank you for the food. I really thought you were just being polite at first. However, I changed my mind. No one has ever looked this content watching me eat before.”

Seulgi does not know if Joohyun is just teasing her or she is being honest. Seulgi bows her head shyly at the senior as she excuses herself to look for her friend. As soon as Seulgi leaves, Joohyun heaves a relief sigh which follows by a loving smile after.

“Cute.”

They meet again on the same Wednesday, a week after. Seulgi is at the library, searching for any books that could help with her Korean history homework when she bumps into Joohyun. The senior has her hair tied up in a low ponytail. The school uniform has never looked this elegantly pretty on anyone until Seulgi sees it on Joohyun. The younger bows her head to show her respect to the school president.

“Good afternoon, sunbae.”

Joohyun—pretty Joohyun has this lopsided smile when Seulgi greets her.

“Good afternoon, Seulgi. Fancy seeing you here. From what I heard, you don’t really like the libraries.”

Seulgi doesn’t have to ask to know who told Joohyun this.

That brat Jennie.

Seulgi rubs her nape, eyes staring at the floor. “I have to finish my history homework, that’s why.”

Joohyun hums, eyes focusing on the taller girl.

“Are you here alone? Isn’t Jennie with you?”

The brown-haired girl shakes her head, letting out a soft sigh.

“Jennie already finished it. Smart kid.”

Joohyun giggles at Seulgi’s word.

“If you don’t mind, you can sit with me then. I am alone too.”

Seulgi widens her eyes slightly with the offer. Never once that she thought she would have a chance to talk to Joohyun again—sitting on the same table even.

“Sure, sunbae. I would love to. Let me just grab these books.”

Joohyun patiently waits for Seulgi to get the books before she leads the girl to the empty table. There are only several students here, making the normally quiet library becomes even quieter.

They both sit in silence, face to face. Seulgi is too nervous to look at the school president. Therefore, she only focuses on reading the book, trying to find the relevant sources for her homework. Seulgi notices how Joohyun grabs a few psychology books before, so the older girl must be reading her book too.

When Seulgi thinks Joohyun isn’t looking, she slowly lifts her head to stare at the older girl. It catches her off guard when Joohyun is looking at her already. All of Joohyun’s psychology books left unopened.

What has Joohyun been doing?

“Aren’t you reading anything, sunbae?”

The younger asks out of curiosity. Joohyun’s lips curve into a tiny smile, shaking her head.

“Not really, I got distracted.”

Seulgi doesn’t know whether it is a good or bad thing. Joohyun said she got distracted. But by what? Maybe being with Seulgi bored her? Did Seulgi do anything to make Joohyun uncomfortable? But from what she remembers, she didn’t do anything out of ordinary. Maybe she should have started a conversation. Did Joohyun get distracted because the sound of Seulgi flipping the pages of the book? What should she do?

“I—”

“You are a distraction, Seulgi.”

Seulgi’s mind wanders over the word distraction again and again. What does Joohyun mean by this? What has she done?

“I don’t know what I did, but I am sorry, sunbae.”

Seulgi doesn’t look at Joohyun when she speaks. She keeps her head low until there is no reply for a while from Joohyun that Seulgi dares to look at her. There again. This adoration inside of Joohyun’s eyes when she looks at her. Seulgi doesn’t know what to do with this. She is confused.

“Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong.”

Joohyun smiles. Damn that smile.

“But you said I distracted you.”

Seulgi doesn’t know she was frowning until Joohyun brings both of her index fingers to touch Seulgi’s eyebrows.

“This is not a bad thing.”

“Why not? You couldn’t concentrate on what you were planning to read. You couldn’t finish what you planned to do, it is a bad thing, sunbae.”

And Joohyun laughs. So easy, so carefree. She laughs as if there are no worries in the world. As if she has never been sad before.

“Seulgi, you are thinking too much.”

Then Joohyun takes Seulgi’s hand. Joohyun’s hands are soft. Very very soft. A little smaller, but soft.

“Sometimes you need to stop thinking for a moment and do what you feel is right.”

It is vague. Maybe Joohyun is right. Maybe she is not. It is not easy when you have always kept many thoughts inside your head. When you choose to keep things to yourself. When you believe most of the things are better left unsaid. ‘Do what you feel is right?’ What does she feel now? Seulgi doesn’t know. She has always been one to keep silent and has never been able to express herself freely.

“Now you are thinking again.”

Joohyun’s voice carries such a calming tune that could lure every human to sleep. Seulgi opens to speak but there is nothing coming out. She doesn’t know what she wants to talk about.

“It is okay. You don’t have to say anything now. It may take some time. Anyways, I will go now. I am about to be late for my meeting. Can you give me your phone for a moment?”

Seulgi doesn’t say anything and hands her phone to the senior as requested. Joohyun types down her numbers and saves them for Seulgi.

“You have my numbers now. Let’s meet when you want to talk. We can talk about anything and everything. About what you think of the school, the flower, the uniform, or the cafeteria. It doesn’t have to be anything special. It can be random. I don’t mind whatever it is about. Keeping everything inside yourself alone can kill you.”

Seulgi keeps quiet for a while, trying to process what has happened. Joohyun starts gathering her things. When she is done, she stares at Seulgi for around ten seconds; looking as if she is having an inner debate inside her head. Joohyun seems a little hesitant before she finally brings her hand to Seulgi’s head, caresses it a few times in a very soft manner. It is as though she could break Seulgi if she puts any pressure on her. The younger girl does not understand the older girl, but she lets Joohyun do what she wants because it feels nice to be touched like this.

“I will go now, Seulgi. Hope to see you again soon.”

Seulgi watches Joohyun’s back until it becomes so small and invisible for her eyes. Her history homework left untouched. Another battle with her own thoughts has started again. There are too many questions and make-up scenarios of the different possibilities inside her head, but mostly about one question.

Why does Joohyun even care?

Three weeks pass, Seulgi never contacts Joohyun. Despite having the senior’s number, Seulgi doesn’t think it is appropriate to contact Joohyun. Sure, she saw Joohyun a few times on the school campus, but they never get to talk. Smiles would be shared between them when they accidentally saw each other, but that’s it. Seulgi still thinks of what Joohyun has told her. She sometimes thinks everything was a dream.

Seulgi is almost able to convince herself that what happened at the library is a dream if it isn’t for today. Joohyun is standing outside of her classroom, looking as if she is waiting for someone. Seulgi has just said goodbye to Jennie—the only person in her class to whom she is close when she spots Joohyun. Jennie leaves first to talk to the senior. Seulgi thinks Joohyun has something to do with Jennie, but then her friend bows and leaves Joohyun. The older girl stays still, waiting again. Some students who notice her, greet her and leaves.

Seulgi takes a deep breath before she walks out to Joohyun.

“Sunbae-nim.”

When Joohyun recognizes the voice, her ears perk up. “Seulgi.”

Seulgi’s heart races when Joohyun smiles at her. She quickly approaches the older and bows her head.

“What are you doing here, Joohyun sunbae?”

“I am waiting for you.”

“What?”

“I want to invite you over to the nearby coffee shop. I heard they make the best red velvet cake.”

Seulgi doesn’t know what to reply. She can’t say no. Of course, she won’t say no. It is such a privilege to be invited by Joohyun. There is no way she could deny this offer.