Present

Yuri almost choked when she read the news on the internet from her phone. She clicked her tongue, then she threw her phone to the sofa. Tiffany who were at Yuri’s house, witnessed her grumpy friend and furrowed her eyebrows.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing”, Yuri shook her head.

Tiffany took the phone from the sofa and read the thing that made her friend upset. There was an article that said ‘Jessica Jung, former Girls’ Generation member, engaged to boyfriend Tyler Kwon’.

Tiffany sighed, then she looked at Yuri. Yuri pretended to be busy, she opened her fridge and took out some bottle of water. But Tiffany knew, there must be some chaotic feelings in Yuri’s heart. Jessica Jung. One name that Yuri tried so hard to forget, tried to erase. Eventhough her kkab friend always said that she was over Jessica, but Tiffany knew it was a lie.

“Yul…”, Tiffany came towards Yuri and pat her shoulder.

“I am fine.”, Yuri said. But it was a lie. Reading the news, she was not fine. Of course, because it’s Jessica. Someone who she has loved for years, but never belonged to her. Someone who used to be her world, but slipped away from her. Yuri could never understand her stubborn heart. She forced herself to forget Jessica, to bury whatever feelings she had, but in the end… her knees still feel weak once she read the news about Jessica’s engagement. It was already what… 13 years? 16 years? 23862 years? Why she was still so stupidly in love with Jessica?

******

2008 – Y’s POV

“Good morning, Sicababy.”, I smiled when I saw Jessica opened her eyes.

“Ahhh…. 5 more minutes..”, she groaned and closed her eyes again.

“Aish, this princess. We have a schedule soon, so you need to wake up. Everybody already finished their breakfast. ”, I her hair. She was so beautiful even when she was just woke up like this. How lucky I am to be able to get close to someone this precious.

She finally woke up and sat on her bed. Rubbing her eyes and yawned. I smiled in satisfaction, seeing her fully awake. 

“Don’t go back sleep, arasso?!”, I said as I kissed her nose, which earned a giggle from her. I walked outside and informed my members that the ice princess has woken up. Most of them laughed in amusement, some praising me of my ability to wake up Jessica.

“She really listen to her Seobang..”, said Taeyeon and laughed a little.

“Good job, Yuri unnie!”, Seohyun gave a thumbs up to me.

2010 – Y’s POV

“I love Yuri.”, Jessica said in front of the camera, while we were shooting run devil run music videos.

“Hey…”, I felt a heat on my face. I knew I must be blushing. I pushed Jessica’s shoulder a little bit, begging to stop. It was embarrassing because people could see how shy I was when Jessica said that 3 words 8 letters directly in front of me. But she didn’t stop and kept going. 

“I Looooveee Yuri…”, she now making a heart with her hand. My heart beat so fast. How I wished that those words she said was for real, that she meant every single letter when it escaped from her lips. Not just for a manito game that we were having at this time.

I didn’t exactly knew when was the first time I fell for this Ice Princess. After we debuted and got closer, I just thought that my feelings for her was just merely a love between best friends. But little by little everything changed. I enjoyed her companion more, I always admired her beauty, my hand started to automatically hold hers when her hand tried to reach mine and I missed her presence when she was not with me. This feeling was weird and it was not supposed to happen. But I could not help it.

“Is that a love confession from Sica?”, Taeyeon nudged my elbow and grinned, after the camera was away from me and Sica was busy doing her part for the MV.

“W—what?”

“You should tell her that you love her too.”, Yoona joined and teased me.

I frowned. How can I tell her that I love her? I am not sure that she would return my feelings. Moreover, I didn’t even know whether she plays for the same ‘team’ as me. I mean, it’s Jessica. I knew how popular she was with boys, ever since she was a trainee. And it seemed that she enjoyed her closeness to the boys anyways.

“You know it’s impossible. Besides, I think she likes guys.”, I replied. I didn’t want to risk what I have with her. What if I tell her my feelings and then she rejected me? It would definitely ruin my friendship with her. And I don’t want that. I want to be close to her as much as I can. I think my love for her was enough for both of us.

“You never knew if you didn’t try!”, Taeyeon winked at me.

I just chuckled. “I think it’s better this way.”

******

Present

Jessica admired the engagement ring on her finger. She smiled and giggled by herself. Since she was a little girl, she has imagined what her wedding would be. Initially she really wanted to get married in her 20s. But being SNSD members, one of the biggest girl group in Asia at that time, force herself to postpone her dream to be married at young age. When she left the group, her mindset changed. Being the CEO of Blanc&Eclare, singer, artist, youtuber, writer, owner of a restaurant, etc etc etc, made her enjoyed her single life more and more. She chose to focus in her career, to chase her dreams other than just being someone else’s wife. Besides, she didn’t do it alone, her boyfriend was always there to support her.

Jessica started to reminisce how many people she had been with, counting the bad dates she had, before she met her boyfriend who now became her fiancée. When she recalled how many loves she experience before, suddenly she remembered one name that used to be filled her heart. Kwon Yuri.

She took her phone and without thinking twice, she opened Yuri’s Instagram. She smiled when she scrolled down Yuri’s pictures that have been posted there.

“What are you doing?”, suddenly Krystal popped out from nowhere, startled Jessica.   

“Geez! Soojung, you scared me!”, Jessica scoffed.

“Are you stalking Yuri unnie?”, Krystal chuckled while she peeping on Jessica’s phone.

“What? No!”, Jessica’s face flushed, she quickly moved away her phone and covered it.

“Too late, unnie. I saw that already.”, Krystal laughed.

Jessica frowned but feeling embarrassed. But what do to, stalking Yuri’s Instagram has become her habit for so long. Kwon Yuri, the only person who Jessica genuinely love, more than every guys that she had been dated. But also the only person that she could never have, and her biggest regret. Jessica mentally slap herself on her mind. She was just got engaged, why would she still think about Yuri?

******

 2009 – J’s POV

“The night is so beautiful, right?”, I told Yuri when we strolling around the beach in Phuket.

Yuri smiled. “Yes. It’s nice we can walk around like this.”, she said and then she took my hand and hold it. I felt it again. My heart thumping like crazy. We were just finished our shooting in Phuket for AAGG and I was so happy when suddenly Yuri asked me to go out to the beach on our last night, just the two of us.

We ended up sitting down on the sand, with her hugging me from behind as she didn’t want me to feel cold.

“What did you wish for before, Yul?”, I asked her, curious what has really on her mind when she made a wish earlier while we were shooting at the beach in the afternoon.

She just giggled. “It’s a secret.”

“Was it involving me?”, I asked.

“Of course!”, she said then placed a quick kiss on my cheek. Thank God she could not see me, otherwise she would how red my face was after the kiss.

Actually, when she prayed before I also secretly praying. Wishing that Yuri would return my feelings and so I could be with her, forever.

2010 – J’s POV

“Is this true?”, I asked Yuri while shoving the article about her date with Son Ye Jin. The other SNSD members also looked at her, waiting for explanation. Yuri lowered her head.

“Yuri-ah.. we know that you and Ye Jin unnie hang-out lately. But we don’t know if you really have a relationship with her. Just please, explain this to us. We don’t like it when we found it on the news. There should be no secret between us.”, Taeyeon said. As the leader, she felt that she was responsible to take care of SNSD image.

Yuri finally nodded and said weakly. “Yes. We are dating. I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hide it from you guys. It was just ----“

“But you need to be careful!”, Sooyoung cut her and barked. “We are fine if you date a woman. But please, this kind of rumour can ruin our reputation.”

I just kept silent. I gritted my teeth as I was so angry with her now. When I found the news, I cried like there is no tomorrow in my bed. I don’t get it. For all this time, I thought Yuri and I shared the same feelings. Yuri was always there for me to spoil me, to take care of me. She always made me smile with her stupid jokes, she always made my days bright with her sweet talk. Whenever I was tired due to my packed schedules, she would erase it in a second with her warm embrace when I crawled to her bed to snuggle with her. I always felt loved,  I just need her in my life.

“Since when?”, I asked.

“Huh?”, Yuri glanced at me, but I was sure that there was a glint of sadness from her eyes when she looked at me.

“Since when you date her?”, I repeated.

“A --- a month ago..”, Yuri stuttered when she replied.

My heart sank when I heard that. I felt so stupid and felt like my heart being played. I was waiting for her to confess her feelings to me, but it turned out, she dated someone else. She never loved me.  I was wrong for all this time.

****

Present

Yuri was annoyed when their group chat didn’t stop beeping and her members kept asking how she was after Jessica’s engagement news broke.

“Could you guys just stop??!”, Yuri didn’t realize that she was yelling to the phone.  

“Yul! Calm down.”, Tiffany now pouring a soju to the glass on the dining table. “They’re just worried.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about. What’s the matter with you all?”, Yuri sneered and glared to Tiffany.

“Well… we all know about you and Jessica.”, Tiffany said it bluntly. Making Yuri’s heart dropped. She didn’t want to remember Jessica, she didn’t want to feel the pain now.

“There is nothing between me and her! And you guys know that!”, Yuri growled, then she took the soju in the glass and drank it in one shot. Yuri knew, maybe she was a coward before as she could never be able to bring herself to tell Jessica how she felt. Even when her members already told her that Jessica liked her too, but her fear of rejection was too big and at the end she just let Jessica slipped away from her. Then she chose to move on with her life.

“Yuwree-ah…, there is nothing wrong to be sad, you know.”, Tiffany moved closer to her and held her hand. “You don’t need to pretend to be okay in front of us. I mean, this is us!”

Yuri moved her gaze to meet with Tiffany’s eyes. Tiffany could read how sad Yuri was, how hurt she was. “I --- I am okay.. I think… -- I will be okay..”

“If you want to talk, let’s. I will listen.”, Tiffany said in her calm voice, not as loud as her usual tone.

Yuri just stared at Tiffany, she fight her tears that almost fell from her eyes. “It’s just… It’s her.. “

*****

2011 – Y’s POV

I sighed when I saw Jessica giggled while she glued to her phone. I knew something must have been going on in her life. A happy one. It’s been a long time since I saw her this happy. After I announced that I dated Ye Jin unnie, Jessica went ballistic on me and completely ignored me. She even refused to talk to me and just avoided me. When I asked her why she hated me that much, she simply said that my careless may ruin SNSD image in general. And her, being the longest trainee and how she already sacrificed literally her teenage years to become where we are right now, was really disappointed in me and could let that happen to SNSD and her life.

Around 15 minutes later, she informed the members who were currently in the dorm and said that she will go have lunch with Taecyeon of 2PM. We all knew, especially me, that she got close to Taecyeon for a long time. But the meetings and the communication between them became so intense lately.

“Are you guys official now? I thought you don’t like him and just see him as a friend.”, Sunny commented when Jessica was getting ready to went out.

Jessica just chuckled. “Well… he was so persistent. And I am starting to look at him in a different way. He’s a good guy. So, I tell myself, why don’t I give it a try?”, she then added.

I felt a sting of pain on my chest. It broke my heart, I knew it. I never knew it would feel this hurt when I saw it with my own eyes, when I heard it with my own ears that she became someone else’s girlfriend. Someone has claimed her. After I broke up with Ye Jin unnie, I thought I could amend my relationship with her, tried to get closer again with her. And maybe, just maybe… if everything goes well I would confess my feelings to her.

“If that’s the case, then congratulations, Jessi!”, Tiffany beamed her eye-smile and clapped her hands, clearly happy that her American best friend has found love.

“Do you really like him?”, suddenly I asked. I didn’t even know why I had the courage to blurt out that question. I guess I just wished that I still have hope with her. Just a little hope, that she still have a spot for me in her heart.

She looked at me and bit her lip, looking a bit hesitant to answer. But then she nodded. “He may not perfect for me. But .. – like I told you guys, I am willing to try. I like him.”

I am pretty sure that she was even tried to convince herself when she said that. But oh well, maybe it was just my delusional thought. There you go, she said she liked him. Okay, I get it, she would never be mine.

******

Present

Jessica heard that Krystal sighed after she denied that she was developing a habit stalking Yuri’s Instagram.

“I don’t get it. If you really like her, why you never said about your feeling to her?”, Krystal asked.

Jessica looked at Krystal with ‘are you kidding me’ look. “Our feelings was not mutual, Krystal. She was never feel… the same.”, Jessica said.

Krystal laughed. “What??? Omygod, Unnie!!! Everybody could see that you guys actually liked each other, or crazy with each other. It amazed me how come you never got together.”

Jessica plopped herself onto her own bed, which Krystal followed later. Jessica stared at the ceiling, trying to remember how many times she had waited Yuri to confess to her. Something that never happened until now, which, ensure her that Yuri never liked her the way she liked Yuri. “If she had feelings for me, she would’ve said it. But she never did. Well, I am over it anyway.”

Krystal smirked and caress her older sister hair. “You’re over it? Unnie, you literally just stalked her Instagram. Come on, it was like you are still hold onto something with her.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it, Soojung. She was the one that got away.”, Jessica stated. Then she sighed and looked at the ring on her finger. “And now I am somebody’s fiancée, remember?”

*****

2013 – J’s POV

I was so happy until I thought I could fly when I saw Yuri came to my Legally Blonde musical. And not just that, she came on valentine’s day!!! I felt my heart about to burst out. I could not hide my happiness when I found her waiting for me at the exit after I finished my musical that day.

“Want to have dinner with me?”, Yuri asked. I unconsciously smiled and nodded.

“Eh, but what about your mom? Where is she? You came here with her, right?, suddenly I remember about her mom.

Yuri grinned and told me that she already asked manager oppa to send her mom back home, so she could have dinner with me. I knew I should not have high hopes but I can’t help it. After I ended it with Taecyeon, I begin to get closer again with Yuri. Not as chummy as before when we were young, but I felt that we were moving towards the right direction. I gave her subtle hint (I guess) that I still have feelings to her, and I hoped that she had feelings to me too. I knew that she chose Ye Jin unnie before, but…. After they broke up her treatment towards me was back like it used to, sweet, care, warm. So, a girl can hope, right?

We ended up in one fancy restaurant for our dinner. She knew my love for wine so we had a western food with wine as a complement.

“Happy valentine’s day, Sica.”, she said while handed a box of chocolate for me. My lips formed a big smile and I was damn sure that I was blushing.

“You don’t have to do this.”, I told her shyly. But inside I felt like I want to jump. She gave me chocolate on Valentine’s day!

Yuri chuckled. “I know it’s cheesy. But well.. It’s just --- You know.. I finally kept my promise to come to your musical, and I realized it’s Valentine’s day. So I didn’t want to come empty handed.”

I ended up inviting her to spend the night at my house that night. Maybe it was too much, but I didn’t care. I don’t want this night to end and I still wanted to be together with her. I quickly snuggled to her by the time I was on my bed and she welcomed me with her warm embrace. Like the way we used to do.

We looked at each other and I took my time admiring her profile. She was beautiful, my Yuri was so beautiful.

“You are so pretty, princess.”, she said to me, beat me even before I told her that she was beautiful. I smiled shyly and just buried my face on her neck. She my hair, making me lifted my chin up and met with her smile.

My gaze then fell onto her lips. I really wanted to know how it taste like. My mind was scrambling, torn between making a move to kiss her or waiting for her to kiss me. It was intense, she was stared at me deeply, I could see a longing from her eyes. I didn’t know what to do. She moved closer and I could felt my heart beat faster as if it would burst out anytime soon. I was ready to be kissed, but instead, her lips moved ahead and kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight, Sica.”, she whispered. My heart dropped. Maybe she was really saw me only as a best friend after all. Otherwise, she would kiss my lips instead of my forehead.

I forced a smile and gave a peck on her cheek. Then I turned my body around, embarrassed as I already hoped too much. I was so tired so I felt my eyes was getting heavy immediately.

“I love you.”, I thought I heard that she mumbling that words. But I was not sure whether I was dreaming or not. All I could feel before I went asleep was that an arm circled in my waist and wrapped my body from behind, soon, a warm feeling blanketed me in my sleep.

****

Present

Yuri and Tiffany almost finished one bottle of soju while Yuri pouring her feelings about Jessica. She was telling Tiffany that during their time with SNSD, Yuri never really sure whether her feelings to Jessica was mutual. She had tried so many times to find the right time to confess her feelings. But she didn’t know why something always hold her back. Either their hectic schedules, her doubt, or all the guys that surrounded Jessica made her retreat herself from confessing.

“She loves you. I thought we all tried to convince you that your feelings was not one-sided. But after seeing that none of you made any move, then we just gave up.”, Tiffany said. “It was actually amusing to see you both, it was obvious you were in love to each other.”

“I --- I didn’t see that. She just sees me as a friend, Fany-ah.”, Yuri replied.

“It’s because your fear of rejection, it blinded you to see her real feelings!”,  Tiffany reasoned.

Yuri let out a long sigh. “It’s sad though. I really wish that she knew that I love her, so in love with her.”

“Well… --- you could tell her now.”, Tiffany muttered.

Yuri’s eye grew bigger hearing that. “Are you crazy? She’s getting married soon!”

“So?”, Tiffany just shrugged her shoulder. “You’re just going to tell her how you feel. It doesn’t mean you force her to break the engagement, right?”

Yuri poured the last drop of soju to her glass and gulped it in one shot. Her mind wandering. Is she crazy enough to suddenly face Jessica and tell her the she loves her?

******

2013 - Y’s POV

I dragged Hyoyeon to the corner of the dressing room when we had a concert and started questioning her about Jessica.

“Hyo, why is that guy always follow us everywhere? Does he and Jessica dating? I thought he has a girlfriend? That Hong Kong actress?”, I bombarded Hyoyeon with lots of questions. I notice that Tyler Kwon, one of Hyoyeon’s friend always appeared in every corner whenever Jessica was around.

“Err…”, Hyoyeon scratched her head. “Yea I don’t really --- Uh.. he broke up with Gillian already. I think --- he and Jessica.. they’re close --- they’re friends.. -- but I don’t know.. “, Hyoyeon started blabbering, clearly confuse on how to explain it to me.

 I was getting panicked. After my Valentine’s day date with Jessica, we got closer than ever. But of course we did it behind the scenes and I didn’t see the necessary to show it publicly as we do not need fan service anymore. I was taking my time convincing myself that we shared the same feelings and I was waiting for the right moment to tell her how I feel. But it seemed now my doubt got its answer, Jessica never really want me. She liked someone else. Sica, why cant you see that I was so in love with you? I could love you more than anyone could in this world.

“What are you saying? Does Jessica like him?”, I asked Hyoyeon again.

Hyoyeon sighed. “Look, why don’t you ask her yourself? I am not in the position to answer all of your questions.”

 2013 – J’s POV

I found Yuri in my room at the hotel after we finished our concert. Her face looked upset and confuse at the same time.

“What’s so important until we need to talk in private?”, I asked her, joining her sitting on the bed.

“Tyler Kwon.”, I held my breath when that name escaped from her lips. I knew it. I have to be honest with her. “Are you dating him?”, she questioned and it became hard to swallow when I heard the question.  

Truthfully I was tired, tired of waiting for her. I’ve lost my patient, I’ve lost my confidence that Yuri might have feelings for me. After our Valentine ’s Day date I still had hope, that the words ‘I love you’ really coming out from and not only in my dream. That one day she will tell me that she loves me. But those magic moments never came. I should move on. There was someone who actually liked me, brave enough to made a move and show his feelings to me. And I could not just sit and wait for Yuri to return my feelings forever.

“Yes. He asked me to become his girlfriend and I said yes.”, I replied. But I could not see her face and I lowered my head. I was afraid I would cry if I met her eyes.

“Do you love him? What’s so special about him that you chose him?”, Yuri asked.

“He’s not afraid to love me.”, I answered her in short and now I brave myself to stare at her.

It was Yuri’s turn to lower her head, avoiding my gaze. “I see.”, she said to me. Then she stood up from the bed. She caressed my head and kissed my crown.

“Congratulations. I hope you’re happy with him.”, she said then walked away. My tears fell the minute she disappeared from my room.

I really wanted to called her back, or screaming out loud in my room. Stupid Yuri!!! Why cant you see me more than just a friend? Why cant you say that you love me for all this time and want me as your girlfriend?  

*****

Present

 “It’s intriguing.”, Krystal said while putting her fingers on her chin. “Is it possible to love someone still even after all these years? Do you still love her, Jess?”

Jessica rolled her eyes. Although her mind questioning the same, but she knew her heart already made the answer. “It was a long time ago, Krys. Let it go.”

 “You’re not answering my question.”, Krystal grinned.

Jessica stood up from the bed and went to the dining room to take out a wine. Krystal trailed behind her closely, followed her like a puppy. Persistent to get the answer.

“She’s the person who I love the most.”, Jessica finally surrendered and confessed to Krystal.

Krystal clapped her hands and let out a light laugh. “Isn’t it sad she never found out how much she means to you?”

“What’s the point anyway?”, Jessica scoffed, then she started sipping her wine.

Krystal shrugged her shoulder. “Maybe you do need a closure. Just for a peace of mind. So you don’t hold the grudge and move on completely, live your life with Tyler oppa.”

Jessica winced. Is Krystal right? Is it true that she never moved on from Yuri and really need a closure with Yuri? Imagining herself seeing Yuri again, confess her feelings made Jessica’s stomach turned upside down.  

*****

2014 – Y’s POV

“Happy belated birthday.”, I said as she opened the door of the apartment she shared with Krystal for her reality show of ‘Jessica & Krystal’. I brought a cake and smiled.

Jessica looked surprised, maybe she didn’t expect that I would come alone to send the birthday cake.

“Uh… ---“, her jaw dropped and she could not even utter a word.    

“Ehm!”, Krystal cleared to break the silence. “Hi Yuri unnie! Come on in!”

After we light the candle on the cake, she made a wish and blew the candle. Her wish…. How I really wanted to know what she wish for. Does she wish happiness with her boyfriend, live happily ever after? Does she wish for SNSD or her family? Does she include me in her wish?

We settled ourselves on the couch when Krystal went out for her schedules. As if it was an automatic impulse, she leaned her head on my shoulder and my hand immediately grabbed her hand. We stayed like that in silent for couple of minutes. I just need a moment to feel her close to me. I miss her so much.

“Thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me.”, she finally broke the silence.

“Anything for our ice princess.”, I replied and kissed her crown. “How was your birthday in New York? Was it fun?”,  I asked, to which she nodded and smiled. Then she begin explaining about her trip with Krystal in New York. I just stared at her, letting her talking, admiring everything about her.

Nothing changed between me and Jessica even after she officially dated her boyfriend. The funny thing was, it was like we are stuck in more than friend less than lovers relationship. I still hold her hand, whenever I wanted to, even in radio interviews. She still clingy to me, on the backstage of concert and music shows. She kissed my cheek sometimes whenever we exchanged good night before we went to sleep in the hotel after the concert.

My love for her never changed. But sadly, I could never win her heart.

2014 – J’s POV

I was stressed out. This thing, starting a business certainly not easy and I got so many headache just to see how many sunglasses that wrongly designed. I was talking to many people in New York, securing funding for my business while juggling to go back to Seoul for SNSD schedules.

“Jess.. Halo…”, my boyfriend waved his hand in front of my face.

“Ah… sorry I was spacing out. It’s just… too many things on my mind right now.”, I shook my head while having lunch in a restaurant.

“Everything will be fine. I promise.”, he smiled and held my hand.

In a merely a second, how I wish that the person who supported me now is Yuri. How I wish to tell Yuri about my headache, how I want to bury my face on her neck just to find comfort from her. But this guy in front of me is someone with a really good heart. He was smart, genuine and everything that I could asked for from boyfriend.

“Promise you will not leave me? Support me and catch me when I fall?”, I asked him.

He nodded and squeezed my hand. “I will, my love. I promise.”, he said firmly. And I trust him.

It’s time for me to move forward with someone new, it’s time for me to give my heart to someone who could look after me. It’s time to bury my feelings to Yuri, to forget everything about what I had with Yuri. I need not to look back and let this guy be my companion.  I don’t want to wait in vain.

Yuri was my heart and probably she would remain like that until I don’t know when. Unfortunately, my name was never written in her heart.

*****

Present

Jessica fidgeting her fingers inside her car. Nervously looking at the apartment building near the place where she parked her car. She told Krystal that she had an appointment to meet someone. But Krystal was suspicious, it was past dinner time, who she wanted to meet in the middle of the night?

Jessica really thought that she must have lost her mind right now. After her conversation with Krystal, She didn’t even think twice to get into her car and drove to Yuri’s apartment. But when she got there, she didn’t know what to do.

Yuri's eyes looked like about to fall from its socket when she opened the door and found Jessica there. She just stood there, her face looked pale as if she was seeing a ghost. The time seemed to stop when her eyes met with Jessica’s eyes.

“Sica… w—what—what are you doing here?”, finally she could uttered some words.

“Uh ----“, Jessica stuttered. When she saw Yuri standing in front of her, for real, suddenly she forgets what she wanted to say. She just stared at Yuri. “I don --- I don’t know.. – Uh. --- Can I come in? I need a drink…”, Jessica just let herself in, panicking by herself, leaving Yuri with hanging open and looked at Jessica in her confuse face. “What do you have? Do you have water?”

Yuri’s gaze just followed her movement, but she was still mesmerized. Was she dreaming? Is that the real Jessica who were just barged inside her house?

“Yul!!”, Jessica called, awakening Yuri.

“Ah, uh --- yes.. in the fridge -- water ---- alcohol, I don’t know..”, Yuri just replied, any words that she could think of right now in her head.

She finally gathered herself and closed the door. Jessica quickly opened the fridge without hesitation regardless it was not her own property. She took out a bottle of water and swallowed it instantly.

“Yuri-ah.. listen to me.. I don’t know why I am here.. But I need to tell you something, I just need to.. do you know that I am engaged now? Well, it doesn’t matter.. But I know that I have to do this, before I get married I need to tell you something.. because I need to move on, like completely.. something that I should have said a long time ago.. I --- Oh God!! What am I saying? I must be crazy right now.. ---“, Jessica kept blabbering non-stop, pacing back and forth on her dining room. She used Korean and English language in mixed. Then she stopped, let out a long breath to calm herself.

Yuri blinked. What the hell was happening? What is this? Why on earth Jessica came to her house? This was too sudden and Yuri didn’t know how to react.

“I know that you’re engaged. Congratulations.”, Yuri gulped, before finally able to let some words out.

“No, Yul! You don’t understand. It’s not about the engagement. You --- well.. – I ----“, Jessica shook her head, trying to let it out something that she had kept inside her for so long.

“What --- uhm.. – what’s going on? I mean, why ---“, Yuri tried to ask but Jessica cut her.

“I love you.”

Those 3 words 8 letter that escaped from Jessica’s lips silencing Yuri.  They both fell into a silence and just stared at each other. Yuri’s face went blank. Love. Did she hear it right?

“Oh . I am sorry. I didn’t mean too. I don’t know what am I saying.. I – Just forget what I said.“, Jessica finally broke the silence, impatient due to Yuri’s unresponsive act.

Yuri moved closer towards Jessica, narrowing the gap between them. “Why? Why now?”

Finally Yuri talked. Jessica sighed. “I don’t know. I should have said it a long time ago. I love you. I do. I have loved you for years. But I just --- I know you don’t love me the way I love you. But I might never have another chance to tell you this.. So, I just want you to know.. my real feelings that I kept just to myself, kept from you.. “

Jessica eyes started to get teary. Yuri didn’t say anything.

“I should go.”, hearing no further response from Yuri, Jessica said and walked away, passing Yuri. But Yuri was not ready to let her go. She never be able to let Jessica go. She grabbed Jessica’s wrist and swayed Jessica to face her.

“Don’t go.”, Yuri said. Yuri swallowed when Jessica’s gaze met her eyes. “Don’t marry him. Be with me. Be mine.”

Jessica’s eyes widened when she heard the bold words that came from Yuri. It was a plea, it was a hope, it was a wish, a longing. But what Yuri asked for was too much, too complicated, too confusing.  

“I---- “, Jessica opened , but nothing came out.

“I love you too. And I never stop. I never stop loving you. ”, it was Yuri’s turn to say those magic words, making bunch of butterflies flung around Jessica’s stomach. Jessica finally realized how stupid she was, wondering whether Yuri would ever returned her feelings while all these years, what Yuri has offered her was love.

“Yuri-aah…”, Jessica looked at Yuri, a loving look that she had ever give to someone. She wanted to reach Yuri, but suddenly Yuri’s face became blur, and it was getting more blurry… faintly going away…

“Unnie…..unniee……”

“…………..” and Jessica could only heard Krystal’s voice. What was Krystal doing here in Yuri’s house?

“UNNIIEEE……”

Jessica woke up and found herself sleeping on the sofa. DAMN IT!!! IT WAS JUST A DREAM? THE MEETING WITH YURI HAPPENED IN HER DREAM?????

“You fell asleep on the sofa after we drank the wine, unnie.”, Krystal chuckled. “Did you dream about something interesting? You were mumbling Yuri’s name.”

“W-what.. --- Uh I.. ----“, Jessica got confused, trying to be back to reality. Her dream felt so real, even she could perfectly felt what Yuri was feeling to her. “I dream about her. It feels so real. Aarrgghh, why it was only a dream??”, Jessica groaned and ruffled her own hair.  

But there was something that Jessica felt in her heart. She knew now her heart was talking, telling her what to do.

“I should go.”, Jessica quickly stood up from the sofa. She grabbed her car key and she was sure what she wanted to do. She needed to see Yuri, she wanted to make her dream become real. After a long wait, she wanted at least, say something that she should’ve said a long time ago.

On the other part of Seoul, someone also holding her car key. Yuri gathered her courage to finally doing something that she should have done a long time ago. She wasted years of her time before, being a coward for years, questioning about what could have happened if she was brave enough to confess her feelings to Jessica before. Now, she had the chance and she would do it. She remembered Jessica’s smiled, then she walked to the door, ready to meet Jessica.

FIN --