5. Are you insane?

At Hanyoung Private, time had a strange way of moving. One moment it would be frozen stiff, with everyone waiting for everyone else to make a move. Any sort of move. (More precisely dramatic, stupid, and suicidal in order of increased preference.) And then the next moment, more would happen in a second than can be adequately recorded in nine thousand pages of tiny text. Sometimes time moved differently relative to the person.

This week, for instance, time had been clinging onto Donghae. Nothing had changed from a week ago, which the brunette found to be both shocking and ridiculous. He would’ve thought that kissing Hyukjae—no, not just kissing but major tongue-ing, groping, , and about-to-grab-condoming—would have at least somewhat ed up their status quo. Plus Heechul saw them, and then Hyukjae broke just about every bone in Heechul’s body and so, knowing Heechul’s vindictive tongue and his side-kick Kyuhyun’s mad taste for mayhem, it was virtually impossible for there to be peace.

Yet there was peace. Lots of it. Too much of it, really. His life was going as according to plan as ever and it bothered to him to no ends. The only possible qualm he could harbor was how Siwon was slowly spending less time with him (and borrowing more for some reason), which meant he had to turn his mindless rambling to Yesung, who had long been dubbed the world’s worst listener. Donghae would also rank him as world’s worst friend, but currently Siwon was taking the piss out of Yesung at that game.

And so, at this instant of tranquility, Donghae found himself in severe desire of human company. He would talk to anyone. Except Hyukjae, of course, because god would that be catastrophic. The last time he saw Hyukjae, they somehow ended up in Hyukjae’s apartment and, had Heechul not been there, they would have probably done the deed. Well, either the deed or some mistake of equal stupidity. Donghae had decided that Hyukjae was some sort of curse. Manifestation of top-class voodooing, maybe. Hyukjae was like a living time bomb, and Donghae would be a moron to step near it, on it, or anywhere around it. So the fact that he kissed it qualified him as a, what, moron extraordinaire?

“Stop spacing out. You look like you ate a fly.”

Donghae’s head snapped up to an unlikely voice. He hadn’t spoken to Heechul since that night and he had been glad, because he was positively sure that Heechul would kill him upon finding him. But this time Heechul came bearing a surprisingly, almost unfitting, look of… desperation?

“Hi Heechul,” Donghae coughed out awkwardly. It was weird to be alone with Heechul. The two of them didn’t mix. Not at all. With Hyukjae, Donghae was like fire and ice, two elements that complimented each other in a way, but with Heechul that was not the case. It was more like water and grease. All they’d create was a mess.

He’d gone a long way back with Heechul—almost as long as Hyukjae. They were distant friends until Heechul approached him two years ago with a proposition. He liked Siwon, Heechul professed, and needed Donghae’s help to make Siwon notice him. Siwon, after all, called Donghae his best friend and never questioned Donghae’s taste in partners. The Donghae back then was uncooperative, so Heechul being Heechul, coerced him with some that Kyuhyun had hacked out via illegal methods. The plan had been for Donghae to pretend to be interested in Heechul. This way, Heechul had reasoned, Siwon would notice that he was y, spankable, able material. 

All was quite merry at first. In fact, Heechul made a great friend and pretend-boyfriend. He was protective, sweet (when not ing), and fun (when not ing). God, Heechul was fun. He was like the son of cupid and Gossip Girl^TM, who was adopted by some sort of transual hooker or something. Heechul was one thousand kilometers per hour’s worth of dirty jokes, hilarious bad-mouthing, and drama, drama, drama. Donghae liked hanging out with Heechul.

The plan went downhill, however, when Donghae got drunk at Heechul’s party and beganreally making out with him. He had been so drunk (or perhaps so into Heechul’s plush lips that somehow reminded him of strawberries and a certain blonde) that he hadn’t notice Siwon walking in or Heechul’s squeal of panic.

Donghae failed to remember much of the party except the excruciating hangover the next day, Siwon’s new way of talking about uality, and a death threat from Heechul. The drag queen had sacked all of the responsibility his failed first-love onto Donghae.  “It’s all your fault,” Heechul’s note had raged in red ink, “If you weren’t such a stupid horndog, Siwon wouldn’t be so damned scared of me. Now he thinks that I’m a ! I’m a ty ! It’s all your fault, Lee Donghae! All your fault! I’m going to kill you. Just you wait. I’m going to wring your neck and drink your blood and BURN ALL OF YOUR !!!!! AISH!”

Since then Donghae had been either avoiding or countering Heechul, who just about racked his brains out trying to destroy him. At first Heechul tried to spread rumors about Donghae going bankrupt, which only ended up in a dozen ic noonas running after Donghae to offer pocket money. And then he used Donghae as a scapegoat for a shoplifting incident, but that only made Donghae’s status rise to that of a hot Korean Robin Hood. And then he tried to stir things up using his column in the newspaper, but Yesung, the editor in chief, cut him out with ease. Heechul brewed and fumed. Twelve months later, he had finally hit his first goldmine: the Eunhae incident.

But for some reason, instead of milking it, here Heechul was standing with an unbelievably depressed stare, “You’re still the same. Reading novels in the fire-escape. You horndog.”

“You—”

“I want a truce.”

“What?” Donghae almost couldn’t believe his ears. Here stood the school’s most notorious drama queen, offering his nemesis a truce? Donghae pinched himself on the leg. He wasn’t dreaming. This was real. Well, .

“I said I wanted a truce.”

“What? Why?”

“I didn’t say I was forgiving you, you bastard. I said I wanted a truce because, goddamn it Lee Donghae, why are you such an insensitive jackass? Can’t you see that I’m sad here?”

“Well—”

“Talk to me. Please. I don’t have anyone else.”

Donghae didn’t mean to sound offensive, but he only found one way to word the question, “Holy crap, you ran out of friends?”

“I ran out of the good ones,” Heechul murmured, looking more awkward and out of character than ever as he fiddled with his thumb. Donghae almost couldn’t believe his eyes. The savage, drama- Kim Heechul, who would sooner stab someone to death with a tube of lipstick than apologize… twiddling with his thumb?

“Are you insane?”

“No! I’m tired and I’m confused and I can’t look Kyuhyun in the face anymore! I wish I was insane.”

Heechul suddenly wobbled over, looking faint. Donghae shot up to catch him, though he was a bit hesitant about doing so. The last person he caught, he almost ended up sleeping with. But then again, he wouldn’t mind sleeping with Heechul. There would be no emotional trauma after, at least—

Wait. Wait, did that mean that there would be emotional trauma after sleeping with Hyukjae?

Donghae’s thoughts swerved away from Hyukjae and back to Heechul as the latter began sobbing with a whole cascade of Broadway histrionics, “What do I do, Hae? I think I’m beginning to like Kyuhyun! He doesn’t even look all that gross anymore! There’s something wrong with me. I—I—do you think I love him?”

“…What?” Donghae’s jaw just about met the ground. It was shocking enough when Heechul declared his undying love for Siwon two years ago, but… for Kyuhyun? Cho Kyuhyun?

Kyuhyun wasn’t even vaguely in the same league as Heechul. Heechul’s mother was a runway model and his father was a famous politician. Kyuhyun’s family fixed computers. Literally. Kyuhyun was poor, ugly, and shrewd. He’d con the soul out of Heechul given the chance. Heechul was only a paper mastermind while Kyuhyun, on the other hand, was evilness epitomized and uncensored. Heechul falling for Kyuhyun was like a dog falling for its own . Even Donghae knew that much.

“But I still think I like Siwon…”

“Yes, just keep liking Siwon,” Donghae mumbled, because he knew that Siwon was too Christian to like Heechul back. Siwon was the kind of guy who would jump before a train if the priest told him to. He didn’t even have the guts to read in public. It would be better for someone as sensitive and easily confused as Heechul to chase after a morally sound person, than go through a tumultuous relationship with Satan personified. Not that Donghae would know. He hadn’t really been in a romantic relationship before. He’d only slept with people. A lot of people.

“And then there’s Han Geng.”

“Jesus, how many people are you in love with?” Donghae snapped, but Heechul was quick to protest, “I don’t like him! He’s just annoying! I’ve stopped talking to him but he keeps trying to find excuses to speak to me—”

“Such as?”

“Like about, you know, my breaking into Eunhyuk’s apartment and… all…” Heechul’s voice trailed off and he eyed the floor bashfully for a second before glancing back at Donghae, “Speaking of Eunhyuk, Hae—”

“There’s nothing between us,” Donghae interrupted, suddenly jumpy. There was really nothing, though. There must have been nothing. It just couldn’t be any other way. Hyukjae was straight. He was a delinquent, for crying out loud. There was no such thing as a gay delinquent. That was an oxymoron. And Donghae—Donghae was… Donghae wasn’t gay. Donghae just couldn’t be gay. He was too popular with the girls to ever genuinely like a guy. Donghae quickly changed the conversation before Heechul can grasp onto his hesitation, “So what’s attractive about that rat-assed Hitler?”

Heechul said something, but Donghae really couldn’t pay attention. His thoughts were back to the feeling of Hyukjae’s weight on his arm as he helped him out of the car a week ago. Donghae had somehow managed to talk Hyukjae into going to the hospital for his twisted ankle, where the blonde got a shot of anesthesia that he was surprisingly paranoid about. After that, the events were almost surreal. It was like they were waiting for one another to make a move or something. Except there were no moves to be made, of course, because—damn it, they were strangers! They didn’t know each other! There was just a sense of awkwardness between people of two cliques and that was all.

Which was weird, because the making out that ensued was strangely amiss of any awkwardness. Hyukjae had been drugged out and slightly moodier than usual. Somehow an argument about their past broke out, one in which Donghae kept apologizing about the time that they almost had , and Hyukjae kept telling him to shut up, and Donghae didn’t know what to do but apologize more.

“Just shut up!” Hyukjae had bellowed, dragging Donghae up the stairs to his apartment while Donghae struggled to lift both his weight and half of the blonde’s. Hyukjae was strangely heavy for his scrawny body.

“But it must have—”

“I said, Lee Donghae, just let it go already!” Hyukjae had hollered and pushed himself off of Donghae’s shoulder. The two stood at a melodramatic standstill, Donghae on the lower step and Hyukjae on the higher, while the latter bolted out, “There’s nothing to apologize about because there was nothing in the first place, and it wouldn't mean anything even if we do  again because we are just strangers and there would never be anything between us. Do you understand?”

Donghae had been barely listening. His focus was drawn to Hyukjae’s lips and the way the wind was touching his hair, framing his face with a few blonde strands and how his neck was all tense and made his collarbones jut out. Those collarbones had some kind of hypnotic effect on Donghae then, and before he realized it his hands were lingering over them. Hyukjae was probably in too much shock to respond. So was Donghae. He didn’t know what he was doing and he frankly didn’t want to. That moment had felt good then, with the wind in his hair and Hyukjae’s plush lips just waiting to be touched, tasted… suddenly Donghae’s hands had already crept up the blonde’s neck. He’d beckoned Hyukjae forward with his forefinger under the blonde’s chin, though in retrospect that was a moronic gesture to try to pull on the district’s most infamous delinquent. He had no idea what he was doing, why he was doing it, or why Hyukjae showed no resistance at all. All Donghae knew was that there was a beautiful pair of lips before him and that he was going to kiss it.

So he did.

The moment they collided, one curious and one still in denial, Donghae finally understood that he was kissing Hyukjae. He was really kissing Eunhyuk. Not just Hyukjae, but a bona fide delinquent. A manly delinquent. It was definitely a guy’s lips, no question about that. Donghae had gotten so used to kissing girls in the past five, six years that the familiar feeling of a boy had completely, utterly shook him. The scent of cigarettes, the total lack of fragrance, the sort of demand for dominance, fighting spirit behind each movement… Donghae fought a shiver as he pulled Hyukjae up close. The kiss was awkward, poorly paced, ing sloppy as hell, but there was something dreadfully right about it. It didn’t feel like glitter or sparkles or lollipop clouds. It felt like dirty leather, machine guns and fireworks shooting through Donghae’s chest.

Really, really, good.

Donghae didn’t know what in the hell made the kiss so amazing. It didn’t even make sense, a guy’s lips being so soft and badass at once. Hyukjae clearly hadn’t kissed anyone in ages. He didn’t understand how to kiss back or how to his head the right way. Their noses kept bumping into each other and Hyukjae kept his eyes wide open, which was plain awkward as hell. But then he’d simply pouted (was it even a pout?) and, holy , Donghae had mentally sworn, that single gesture was divine enough to wipe out all other characteristics.

“There was nothing in the first place so this can’t really mean anything, right?” Donghae had muttered into the blonde’s mouth, still breathing heavily and trying to catch some air. Catch Hyukjae’s air. He felt hot. Hot. So damned hot.

His last attempt at salvation was ruined when Hyukjae grabbed his hair and jammed their lips together with a grunt. There was pain and blood and Donghae wanted more. Of what, he wasn’t sure; he simply had this extreme desire to explore, to feel and touch and…

And then it just happened. It felt like . It probably was .

Donghae shivered at the idea. He would have expected the thought to make him queasy, nauseated, violently ill, even—but he didn’t feel that way. All he felt was a pain on his arm. A sharp kind of…

“Ow! Why are you pinching me?” Donghae cried out, swapping Heechul’s hand off.

“Go tell your boyfriend that if he doesn’t pry Siwon off of Fried Rice’s Chinese , then I’m going to kill him,” Heechul pointed to the Hello Kitty band-aid on his elbow and sniffed, “And you. I make a good friend, but a better enemy. You know that Donghae. I won’t forgive you for letting that blonde beat me up, even if you did save my face.”

“Why can’t you go yourself?” Donghae scoffed. Heechul the Autocrat was as autocratic as ever, just because he got a boo-boo from Hyukjae. Alright, so the boo-boo from Hyukjae might have been slightly more than a boo-boo, but Donghae had no reason to go massacre his four years’ worth of hard work and meticulous planning by dunking himself in the scorpion den. Han Geng was a bloodthirsty mob-boss-in-training who had no weaknesses outside of Heechul. Siwon was a moron who had a magical ability to exacerbate things. Hyukjae was a time bomb. A curse. A thousand Heechul’s were better than one Hyukjae.

“Yah, haven’t you been listening?” Heechul nudged Donghae, “Han Geng’s going to my if I ever get close to him, and I’m in love with Siwon! You understand, don’t you, Hae? You can’t talk to someone you’re in unrequited love with, can you?”

Donghae chewed on his lip. Could he?

Wait. What on earth was he thinking? Unrequited love? Love? Who? Donghae? No. No-o-o-o.

Hi! Hope this chapter wasn't too confusing. Longer update for the long wait~ Just a warning, there will be Eunhae coming up in a few chapters. Minor readers, please beware which chapter is marked M and refrain from reading. Thank you! ^^

PS: aintyoufunny, if you're reading this, this chapter's for you! 8D