Finally, on the plane and sitting in her seat, she can relax. Getting back into the building and having to push through all those fans were hectic. Trying not to yell at Jackson was even harder. As he looked at her triumphantly, and not even the least bit sad, she wanted to rip his head off. So many things had happened so quickly, and she could barely register how she really felt with the anger swelling inside her. 

Getting to the airport was even worse. She had to cover up and travel in secret and even then a bunch of fans, sasaengs, and haters were there to welcome her. Some even got tickets to her flight, even though they were in the back and she was in business class. 

She hadn’t spoken with Jackson since it happened. He was called into JYP, and she had left without even checking how things were going. The group was in talks of leaving their company anyway, so this was probably a push in all directions.

Chrissy laid back in her seat, sighing into herself. She was ready for the long flight, but not going home. Besides the funeral, this was the first time that she wouldn’t be going back to Korea but waiting for Jackson to come to her. 

She spent the entire year and a half traveling to Korea to spend time with him during his busy schedule, but now she asked him to take time out of that schedule and come to her. She missed home, but she didn’t know how’d he fit into that. 

She checked her phone one last time and looked at the text Jackson had sent her.

I know you want me to say I’m sorry, but I won’t lie to you and say I feel sorry. I know what I did was wrong, and to do it without your approval… I was just desperate for us to be more than we are. To be honest, to the world. And this time you can be honest too. I love you Chrissy. I really do and I know you love me. I will come to the states for you and be a part of your world too. I will prove it to you

Not really knowing how to feel, she turns her phone off and puts in her earphones. She plays soft lofi music and pops a sleeping pill. Hopefully, when she wakes up, she’ll be in the United States and she’ll take it one step at a time. 

xx

Just three hours home and she was already getting dressed, though it was extremely hard to find what she wanted in all the boxes. When she had just been divorced, she and her ex-husband had sold their house and she rented a two-bedroom apartment for herself, using one room as an office, but besides that room and a few other things, she barely unpacked. She spent most of her time away, so her place didn’t even look like she lived there, but was forever moving in. 

She looks at herself in the mirror, dressed in all black as she gets ready to go to the funeral of her ex-husband's grandmother. Even with all the anger going through her, and the exhaustion from that long flight, she was extremely sad about the news of someone she knew and loved dying. 

She did a little turn, looking at the back of her dress, and then checking her hair and she walked out the door, ready to face the world. 

Quickly, she met her new manager and driver at the door, as they tried to sneak out the door and into a car as the American paparazzi waited outside to take pictures. Even some fans, the same as she saw on the plane, stood outside waiting for her. It was scary her new life, but she would have to get used to it after what Jackson did. Just thinking about it made her angry. 

As she settled in the van and they made their way to the funeral site, her phone went off. It was another text from Jackson. She opened her phone to read it, but she wouldn’t reply to it. She needed some space from Jackson, and she decided not to talk to him until she could cool down and some of the heat died down.

My manager had to tell me you arrived safely and that you’re home. Why couldn’t you even text me to let me know you were okay?

“Because I’m not okay.” She wanted to text back. “Because of you, I’m being followed everywhere and had to hire security for a damn funeral.” She wanted to text him and yell at him, but she didn’t want to cry, and she didn’t want to make up with him, and admit that even though what he did was bad and caused her pain, it solved other things. But she wasn’t ready to admit to that, not to him, not yet.

The funeral was low key, and everything went smoothly. Everyone greeted her with a hug and kiss regardless of that, they divorced. No crazy fan or paparazzi showed up but just in case there was security discreetly in the crowd, always watching. 

After the funeral, Chrissy was so tired that she could barely keep her eyes open. The manager got in her car, and somehow they made it upstairs and into her room where she fell asleep. The manager said something to her, but she could barely hear it as she succumbed to sleep, but it sounded like she said “Jackson is on a plane over here.”

Chrissy could feel herself nod as she passed out.