Jinyoung quickened his pace, once again looking at his watch; he hated being late and even more so when he knew there was someone waiting for him.

Strangely, seeing Mark leaning against the outer wall of the doctor's office tower, his heart raced a bit, he supposed it was due to how good he looked with his sandy hair gently combed back. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that showed his somewhat muscular arms and when he raised his arm to take a drink of the coffee that he had in his hands, he could see the tattoo that he had on the inside of it, a tattoo that he didn’t let his students see in the least. To finish the look he wore sunglasses that were gently resting on his nose, giving him a reserved and mysterious appearance.

“Hey, sorry for being late!” Jinyoung said when he got close enough to him, hoping that his sudden presence didn't startle him “I had to…” He stopped when he remembered that the reason for his delay had been because he had the urge to pee at the last minute. “Sorry I was late,” he said instead.

“Don't worry, you're still on time,” Mark said, giving him a big smile and out of nowhere he handed him a second Starbucks cup, this time of what seemed to be iced coffee, but it had a succulent amount of whipped cream on the top. “I bought this for you when I got my coffee, because I am a teacher and even on vacation and I can no longer survive without coffee.”

“I hope its decaf,” Jinyoung told him, his lips at the sight of the whipped cream. “Because I haven't had any caffeine in about three months.”

“100% decaf,” Mark answered, opening the door and letting him pass first, “although I must say that I feel very sorry for your life without caffeine.”

“Anyway, with or without coffee, there is nothing that can take away this huge sleepiness I have every day. I feel tired all the time and I fall asleep in the most unlikely moments, I didn't even feel that way when I went to class at eight in the morning after a night out.”

“Look, at my age going on a spree means being tired and hung over for three days, so I can’t say much about it.” Mark sighed, a bit dramatic to tell the truth.

“But I'm in my youth, so I still have a few years to go before I have to worry about it.”

“But at least I don't fall asleep mid-class,” Mark refuted, giving him a playful nudge.

“It wouldn't have happened if someone hadn't ed me without a and if their classes weren't so boring," Jinyoung told him, narrowing his eyes.

“Hi there!” Mark hastened to greet the receptionist who saw them with a certain critical gesture, “he has an appointment.” He pointed to Jinyoung and he realized that the older one had completely red ears.

“Of course, if you like to take a seat, in a moment the doctor will receive you,” the receptionist smiled at them and pointed to the waiting room.

They both took a seat in the waiting room, this time without speaking, afraid of saying something inappropriate again in a place so full of people, although it was not like the people who were there did not know about the actions about which they were talking; they were all there for a reason.

Jinyoung looked at Mark carefully, who was looking around him with considerable interest, admiring every poster and corner of the small waiting room and, again, his entire expression was one of total calm, but, looking at him even more closely, he noticed again his nervousness from his constant blinking and the way he ran his tongue across his lips.

“What?” Mark asked, realizing that the younger was staring at him with too much intensity. “Did I not shave well or what?”

“No, nothing,” Jinyoung replied, hiding a giggle. “Don't worry, you shaved your three hairs well.”

“We can't all be sasquatch like you,” Mark shrugged, “besides, you never complained about my lack of body hair, you said you could eat more at ease,” Mark lowered his tone of voice and raised an eyebrow suggestively, Jinyoung blushed suddenly as the comment caught him completely off guard. “And you, I still remember that time you didn't shave one day and, yes, you looked too good with your long hair and a day's beard, but my mouth and my neck weren't very happy with it.”

“It was fun to see you teaching classes with a mask that day.” Jinyoung laughed again at the memory. “And your excuse was that you had not had disposable razors at home and your razor had broken down, that day I was pissed at Seolhee and her friends because they wouldn’t stop whispering and day dreaming about how good you’d look with a beard.” Jinyoung laughed again and rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t hear a thing because of them, oh! If only they knew that you just grow very few hairs.” Jinyoung giggled again and Mark imitated him, but also rolling his eyes.

“You know, I think I really miss...”

“Mr. Park,” the receptionist called them and Jinyoung could no longer hear what Mark was missing, as they had to enter the office.

The doctor received him with the same cheerful smile as always, but this time, he hesitated a bit when he saw Mark enter after him. Jinyoung was afraid that the doctor would ask him who he was, however he did not ask questions about it and only threw one curious look at Mark, evidently remembering what his first appointment with him had been like and the fact that Jinyoung had been a flood of tears, and that he had never been enthusiastic about the other appointments they had had thus far.

Jinyoung found out that he had gained three kilos since the last visit and felt like dying. No wonder none of his clothes fit anymore! The doctor joked around with this, saying he no longer could satisfy all his cravings, because he was only allowed to gain a kilo per month and even in the same joking tone, he turned to Mark and made a comment that made both of them have colors rose to their faces.

“We have to put him to do some cardio and I think you already know what is the best cardio, low-impact and without so many restrictions,” the doctor let out a deep and good-natured laugh, totally ignoring the blush of both. “Just nothing on his stomach and no stunts or extreme positions.”

“We don't…” Jinyoung started, frowning.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, boy, for one reason is which I still have work,” he smiled again and stood up. “I’ll go prep the ultrasound machine as I’m pretty sure you are eager to know the gender.”

“So the reason he still has a job is because people cannot control their low instincts and they do it without worrying about contraceptive methods? Wow and I thought that teaching English was going to be a career in which I would never be without a job,” Mark told him in a low voice and Jinyoung rolled his eyes, preferring not to touch the subject anymore, but Jinyoung knew he was doing that to lighten the mood.

“You know, now that I'm here I'm not so sure right now that I want to know the gender.” Jinyoung changed the subject, “I don't want to make this even more personal.”

“Do you want him to tell just me?” Mark asked him, his countenance changing from playful, and even somewhat flirtatious, to totally serious “Knowing the gender may help us choose a family, but there won’t be any problem if he just tells me.”

“Would you do me that favor?” Jinyoung asked in a low voice, just at the moment when the doctor returned to indicate that everything was ready for the ultrasound. “Seriously, I don't want this to get more complicated.”

“Don't worry, Jinyoung, I told you that I was going to respect each one of your decisions” Mark assured him, giving him a very wide warm smile, and without notice, Mark placed one of his hands on top of the younger’s, giving him a squeeze, soft, warm, filling his whole body with a strange sensation, a sensation that began from where Mark had put his hand, a sensation he had not felt in a long time and, once he had felt it, he felt terrified of starting to feel that again.

Jinyoung didn't know if anything showed on his face, or if Mark noticed on his own, but he immediately removed his hand and his teeth caught his lower lip, evidently embarrassed by that action.

However, Mark quickly set his composure, standing up and heading to the ultrasound room, talking animatedly with the doctor. Jinyoung overheard something that the reason for the secrecy was because they wanted it to be something that only he and the baby’s adoptive parents would know, to which the doctor agreed very cordially.

Jinyoung stood up, even without knowing very well, or without wanting to accept that strong feeling that had just run through his body, that would only complicate things.I If he had not fallen in love during the time when they had only been friends with benefits, he wasn't going to, and he shouldn't fall in love now.

“You already know the drill, Jinyoung,” the doctor told him, to which Jinyoung responded with some lip tightening that pretended to be a smile.

Jinyoung lifted his shirt, somewhat self-conscious that Mark saw him without clothes, or at least from the waist up, since his abs had disappeared he was not very happy with his physical image; however, Mark was not even looking at Jinyoung, as had his eyes fixed on the monitor, even when there was absolutely nothing reflected in it.

The doctor performed a few maneuvers on his abdomen before placing the cold gel and the device on his belly, and when the image finally began to reflect, Jinyoung looked away from the screen. This time was not because he was afraid to see it or trying to desensitize himself from that image, but this time he wanted to observe Mark's reaction, even though his reaction would most likely affect his thoughts more.

And boy did he.

Mark's face lit up like Jinyoung had never seen it do it. He knew that the oldest was trying to control himself, however, the corners of his lips were slightly curved up in a smile that he was trying to hide and his eyes definitely couldn't lie as they shone with a special glow. His eyes navigated from one side to the other on the screen, the doctor described what he was supposed to be seeing, how their heart beat and the way they their finger. After a while the doctor wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to Mark, who read it immediately, letting out a big sigh.

“Oh wow…” Mark exclaimed, blinking several times and for three seconds Jinyoung thought he was crying or about to, but he couldn't, could he?

“Well, Mr.…?”

“Tuan,” Mark intervened, “Mark Tuan.”

“Well, Mr. Tuan, you already have very important information, take care of it as if it were life itself, because you actually are dealing with life,” the doctor told him and Mark nodded, as if it were the most important mission in the world.

“And my family health records or my genes are not going to affect or influence the development of the baby?”

“No, unless you have some very important genetic disease. Do you know of any?”

And, strangely, Jinyoung learned more about Mark in that little moment when he and the doctor had a chat, because, once he found out that he used to live in the United States, the doctor seemed very interested in his life.

Apparently, Mark was of Taiwanese descent, born in America and had come to Korea when he was a teenager by a school exchange and had fallen in love with the city. And when he turned 21 years old, had moved permanently to Seoul, deciding to go to college there and he had simply not moved back.

He had two sisters and a brother, and he was the middle son. Apparently, all his relatives were very healthy and he had not gone home for more than two years, because he hadn’t still met his niece and nephew, but he knew they were all healthy and it seemed that girls were the most common in his family.

Yes, it was strange to get to know more of Mark that way, almost through someone else's eyes, but, now hearing that, a lot of things made sense to Jinyoung. Obviously not the fact that his English was quite fluent and that Korean came out from his lips in a whisper (not counting his obviously American name), if not that certain things in his behavior were those of someone who had been living alone for a long time, his way of acting quite different and the seven tattoos on his body; Jinyoung did not want to be racist or stereotypical, since many Koreans were getting tattoos, but for him it was even more common to see it in foreigners or people who were young.

The doctor seemed to remember that he was in an appointment, so again he returned his attention to Jinyoung, explaining various things regarding the development of the baby and reminding him that he had to curb his cravings a bit, however, he let him indulge himself from time to time, mentioning that doing so would do wonders for his emotional state.

After giving him one more dose of prenatal vitamins and giving Mark a copy of the ultrasound, he let them go with a wide smile on his face, as if he knew something they didn't.

They went out again to the hot afternoon, where the sun dazzled them. Jinyoung made a screen with his hand, to which Mark put his own sunglasses on Jinyoung, a gesture that made Jinyoung lose control for a bit, as his heart began to race and he couldn't help feeling ridiculous for having behaved like that for that simple action, he shouldn't have been letting it get to him in the first place.

“Oh, thanks,” Jinyoung said, lowering his head slightly, hoping that he could blame his blush on the heat of the day and not precisely on his action, in case Mark was looking for explanations on the sudden blush.

“You want to eat something?” Mark asked, almost interrupting Jinyoung. “Or go to get an ice cream, another coffee or something like that? The truth is that I’d prefer to eat, because I am starving.”

“Hmm…” Jinyoung hesitated for a split second, biting his lip, would that be like a date? They had never gone out to eat, in fact, they had never gone out anywhere, however, before he could even say no, his stomach roared loudly and the image of a double patty burger floated in his mind, with juicy meat, bacon, and extra melted cheese, “damn, okay.”

“For a moment I thought you were going to say no," Mark said and smiled radiantly. “What do you want to eat?”

“Burgers,” Jinyoung said without thinking twice and the baby in his womb began to flutter inside him, excited by the idea that they were going to eat their craving. “From Shake Shack, if possible.” He paused, putting a hand near his navel. “Please,” he added, realizing that he had sounded somewhat demanding.

“Wow, you do know exactly what you want,” Mark said. “I think that's the good thing about you being a man, when I dated women it was a battle for them to decide what they wanted to eat, so now I’m glad it’s easier to date you.” He rolled his eyes and beckoned him, “come on, my car is over here.” Jinyoung tried to ignore the “date” part and preferred to focus on something else.

“Did you date women?” Jinyoung asked, pushing the other thought back into his mind, so he tried to sound honestly interested, which he actually was. Mark's car was a sleek sedan in vibrant red; Jinyoung hoped he had some kind of sports car; however, the car somehow fit Mark's personality as well.

“I guess I went through that teenage process where you hold on to being straight, and then you think maybe you're biual when you can't stop thinking about Edward Cullen at night,” Mark explained to him while he opened the car door for Jinyoung. “My parents are devoted Christians, so it is not something that was ever spoken in my home and is not very well seen within our community,” Mark continued when they were both inside the car, which smelled clean and was excessively neat. “So, yes, I had two girlfriends. I took another to prom, then I kissed a boy and, in fact, my first time with a man was when I was on an exchange here, that's when I left behind all that nonsense of being biual and I admitted that I was 100% gay.” It was the first time that Mark spoke so much in Jinyoung's presence.

“Have you not returned to L.A. because of your parents being gay?” Jinyoung asked him, feeling something strange inside him when imagining that possibility.

“For being gay? Not at all!” Mark snorted, making a gesture with his hand. “My parents totally accepted my sister and me. My sister, Gracie, is a lesbian and she was the one who helped me out of the closet seeing how much they supported her. I just stayed here because it's a totally different world and here I discovered myself, here I can do all my debauchery without having to worry about embarrassing my parents or something, as I’m not strictly from Los Angeles, but from a town nearby, and…as small towns are, I can’t go around having one nights stands…or getting one of those affairs pregnant.” Mark sighed and Jinyoung lowered his head. “Here they think I’m a respectable teacher that doesn’t want to date. I was going to return to the United States for a while at the end of this semester, or maybe go to China or some other place.”

“And why not anymore?” Jinyoung asked, feeling some guilt as he imagined the answer.

Mark didn't answer immediately, but looked at the horizon, chewing on his lower lip, processing his response.

“Because then there would be no one to buy you hamburgers when they had a craving,” Mark finally answered when they reached a red light, turning to see him so intently that, again, Jinyoung could not help but blush. He was even sure that if he had been standing her legs would have trembled.

“I ...” Jinyoung stuttered, suddenly feeling like crying. “I'm sorry,” he muttered with a broken voice by the tears that blurred his vision from one moment to the next. He knew they weren't together or anything, but those words only reaffirmed that that baby had come to ruin only his plans and, for some reason, that made him feel extremely sad.

“Hey, I didn't say it to upset you like that,” Mark hastened to tell him when he saw the thick tears that ran down his cheeks and the sobs that shook his shoulders.

“It's just… it's my fault…” Jinyoung sobbed again, hiccupping slightly, he hated the ease with which he was crying and that he not only shed tears, but that he looked like a 3-year-old boy while crying.

“I've already told you many times that it's not your fault, it wasn't just your responsibility,” Mark told him, taking one of his hands between his.

“But you had new things planned, or you could have done it and forget about us, but you decided to stay with someone you don't even love, for a baby that we are not going to keep, and all because I did not know how to shut up in a moment drunkenness and answering your messages ... it was my fault from the beginning.”

“Jinyoung, stop it,” Mark told him firmly, however, he didn't look annoyed. Unfortunately the traffic light turned green again and he had to focus on the road again, however he never let go of his hand. “I want you to understand it at once, none of this is your fault. Yes, you were the one who couldn’t shut up when I saw you in that bathroom stall, but I was also the one who decided to send you messages and flirt with you. I was the one that made the first moves.” Jinyoung bit his lip to prevent him from continuing to tremble. “And I did it because since you stepped in my classroom, I thought you were quite attractive, so, please, Jinyoung, stop saying it's your fault. My decisions are mine and if I did it, it was because I am a responsible person. Obviously I was not going to leave you alone with this burden. If we want to go there, this is just more heavy for you. You are the one who had to endure the morning sickness, the one that’s gaining weight, whose entire body is changing. I think the least I could do was save a vacation for a bit.” Mark squeezed his hand tightly; however, his words only made Jinyoung cry more. “And stop crying, please, I hate that you cry because of me.” His voice did not sound annoyed, however, Jinyoung was very busy trying to control himself and process all the words the older had said to realize that Mark's eyes were also watery.

“Sorry, it's my hormones, I swear,” Jinyoung hiccupped again, wiping his face strongly with his free hand, causing his face to be covered in red spots. “Last time I cried because I served myself some cereal and there was no milk,” he pouted when he remembered that awful situation. “Youngjae couldn't stop laughing at me, but it's real, the suffering is real.”

Mark giggled softly and again they came to another red light, where Mark let go of Jinyoung's hand, just to help him wipe his tears and give him an overly affectionate pat on the head. Jinyoung stared at Mark, who was also looking at him, perhaps with a little more tenderness and affection than before. Jinyoung was definitely screwed.

“I will take it into account, but please, stop crying. A lot of things makes me cry and seeing you suffer will now be part of that list,” Mark said, clearing his throat and looking away, realizing his actions. “Besides, I don’t know why you are crying in the first place, it's not like I can never do it anymore. I have a life ahead of me, despite what you think of me for being old, I’m not that old, haven’t you seen that Jennifer Garner movie about being thirty, flirty and thriving?” Jinyoung laughed again and wiped his face one last time. “There will be more opportunities in the future; what's more, I even think you could come with me.”

“Me?” Jinyoung wondered. “Why?”

“Well, you could know another city. I don't know, New York looks very your style,” Mark said, shrugging, finally entering a parking lot near a set of stores. “We have arrived,” Mark announced, to which Jinyoung finally came to realize that they were not near any Shake Shack. “I know you specifically asked me for a specific brand of burgers, but I promise that these are much better,” he winked at him. “And I always get discounts every time I come here.”

“Cheap. That’s why they say rich people stay rich.” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes as he watched again as Mark laughed and went down the car, hurrying to help him get out.

At the touch of his warm hand, Jinyoung realized that his heart had not calmed entirely. The feeling he had felt in the doctor’s office was present again, maybe a little stronger than before and his mind began to remember every action that Mark made when he saw him cry, the way he squeezed his hand and how he assured him a thousand times that it was fine. He even felt his hand still caressing his hair in a tender way.

Jinyoung could tell, Mark had never acted with him in that way, however, he knew that he could not make many expectations, even after hearing his words "from the beginning I thought you were attractive," again emphasizing that between them there was nothing more than something physical and, if there was any kind of affection between them, it was the baby that hadn’t stopped moving inside him since Mark told him they were going out to eat.

Jinyoung would have to control himself. If Mark found out about his feelings, or at the point of separation, he was going to end up too damaged.