WENDY.

 

          A TRIP TO VIENNA WITH SEULGI was a daydream come true. The gothic architecture of most cities, the delicious food we ate, the authentic wine and beer we drank. There were loads of adventure still to stumble upon before midnight.

 

          Even though we had a guidebook in hand, Seulgi insisted on independently handling the tour for us. She had listed tourist spots—mostly the famous locations where her favorite romantic movie took place.

 

          Ah. Before Sunrise. Seulgi and I had watched it from long ago. Yet, she couldn’t stop talking about it on our way here. Still so swooned like the first time of screening, and so passionate about its cinematic details—from philosophizing the characters’ conversations, the cities the characters ventured in—it hiked Seulgi’s fantasies on romance.

 

          These kinds of romantic stories could haunt my dreams and I’d be careless. As if you’re an immortal who banished from a chaotic place, who finally found a paradise from your detriments.

 

          As someone who’s uptight with their career, romance in reality is a nuisance to my momentum. Not that I’m bitter, I would give it shot if it weren’t a choice or a responsibility in the first place. It became a culture of reproduction nowadays, so it’s an unhappy lifetime decision.

 

          But, oh, Seulgi makes it difficult for me to focus.

 

          We ambled down the city, until we saw Teuchtler record store and antiquarian book shop. Several music albums and books were displayed by the windows, luring us in to discover more vintage collections.

 

          Seulgi lets out a gasp, tugging on my arm, “This is it!”

 

          “What is?”

 

          “The record store from the movie! It’s one of my favorite scenes. I think I’ve already told you that already?”

 

          I chuckled, rolling my eyes, “Because it’s really REALLY romantic and you could see their chemistry by the way they gaze at each other?”

 

          Seulgi curled a beam, “EXACTO!” Then she dragged me inside, “And we’re looking for that exact song right now!”

 

          My cheeks rushed with heat. Remembering the listening booth scene, it would be awkward if it happened to me personally. People gazing at me for too long makes me crumble, like what do they see on me that I don’t?

 

          Once we entered, the scent of old books shunned me. The place was cramped with shelves stored of vinyl records and books. The first thing Seulgi approached was the Before Sunrise poster by the wooden wall.

 

          I waited. Until I wasn’t conscious of the fact, I examined her mellow smile. She took in the picture, the way she did with the Klimt painting a while back. My heart racketed like drums. It wasn’t supposed to be.

 

          I looked away before she could catch my reddened cheeks, then made a beeline to the lower vinyl shelves.

 

          My fingers traced through the records. Foreign artists, locals, popular ones—overwhelmingly swell to listen to all of them. I was stuck in the paradox of choice.

 

          Although, no matter how much I tried busying myself, Seulgi would distract my thoughts. There I go again, lifting my gaze as she fished through the albums. Her beautiful round face, wide and tight smile, bright cheeks. . .

 

          “Seungwan-ah! I found the song too!” Then Seulgi pulled the big cover album from its compartment.

 

          I flinched out of my lagged state, “Oh! But I thought you illegally downloaded the song on your phone?”

 

          “Oh right. . . about that.” She lowered the album, “When we planned on having this trip, I decided not download it.”

 

          I laughed, “Please don’t tell me it’s because of the movie. . .”

 

          Seulgi pouted, “Not quite. I wanted to hear the vinyl version first because it’s a whole other experience!”

 

          “Mmmm. . . fair point.” I nodded. I can’t blame Seulgi for ridiculously choosing this route, vinyl records are enchanting and golden. Never ages at all, it makes you enter the retro days too.  

 

          “Do you have a song you want to hear in vinyl?” She asked.

 

          I shook my head. The Beatles was the only genuine band I would listen to in a turntable. Though, it was bleak of a reason than Seulgi’s. I didn’t want to look bored nor ignorant of the options given to me. Why am I overthinking this? Am I here to impress suddenly?

 

          I cleared my throat, “We could go for your song first then come back?”

 

          “If you say so.” Seulgi shrugged then we headed to the listening booth.

 

          Inside, there was a turntable across us. The walls decorated with beige and black little polka dots. A collage art of unfamiliar, historical events hung behind us as I settled down on the leather seat. The cold air continued to hiss on my skin, growing and colliding inside the booth room after Seulgi closed the door.

 

          For some reason, butterflies rose from the pit of my stomach. The proximity, matched with Seulgi’s presence, wouldn’t be a great combination for me. Especially, if Seulgi already knew how I’d act around her and decided to be oblivious.

 

          Seungwan, for once, be cool. Be ing cool. Breathe. BREATHE.

 

          Then the sweet melody of an acoustic guitar played. The world around us enticed in it. As Seulgi sat on the opposite end, I tried to concentrate on the song. Seulgi subtly gazed at me, curved a small smirk as we both delved into it like it was all that matters.

 

          “There’s a wind that blows in from the north. . .

          And it says that loving takes this course.”

 

          While my glance bored on the ground, I could feel Seulgi’s eyes on me.

 

          “Come here. . .

          Come here. ”

 

          I chased it.

 

          I missed it.

 

          “No, I’m not impossible to touch. . .”

 

          I pursed my lips as I concealed the rush of nervousness coursing through me. I looked around, kept my attention at the song and the surroundings.

 

          “I have never wanted you so much. . .”

 

          Seulgi returned to me meekly. From the corner of my view, I melted from the intensity. It was burning, yet extraordinary.

 

          I want to look at her too.

 

          Please look back at me.

 

          “Come here. . .

          Come here. ”

 

          I turned, but she evaded again.

 

          I didn’t strip away. I was bounded to survey this serene time. I wondered upon her features again, despite having them memorized in my mind. I didn’t care if she tainted it, as she got me anchored.

 

          I wish she felt the same way.

 

          “Have I never laid down by your side,

          Baby, let’s forget about this pride.

          Come here. . .

          Come here. ”

 

          Finally, we exchanged looks. We stayed there for a moment, like the time slowed behind us. The rhythm of my heart electrified; my shoulders tensed. Seulgi lowered her eyes on my lips, before quickly dropping back to the wall next to her.

 

          What is she thinking?

 

          I shifted on my seat, pretending to enjoy the music instead of worrying about the feverish aura with Seulgi. The butterflies kept rampaging inside me and suddenly, the time hastened.

 

          “Well, I’m in no hurry.

          You don’t have to run away this time. ”

 

          I swallowed thickly. I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked back at her, “Seulgi?”

 

          Seulgi’s brows perked at me. Her cheeks were noticeably as rosy as mine. Was she waiting for it to happen? I shouldn’t assume.

 

          It was my turn to gaze at her lips. She bit the corner of it, timid as the desire in me became unbearable.

 

          “I know that you’re timid. .”

 

          I cupped her chin, drew in steadily not to frighten her.

 

          “ But it’s gonna be alright, this time. . .”

 

          Her hot and peppermint breath pulled me in further.

 

          Our lips connected.

 

          A current sparked through me, as I lose myself in her warm lips. Clumsy at first, then Seulgi followed the flow. It drove me into the edge as we deepened. The song faded, the same time we withdrew from each other.

 

          Seulgi was paralyzed, feeling in the remaining heat of the lip-lock. gaped at the unexpected moment. Finally, she fluttered her eyes open, darting at me with a longing I didn’t expect to come from her, “. . .Seungwan. . .”

 

          “I should’ve told you before—”

 

          “No. . . no, I know.”